May 2013 surgeries

Steph, I have the 3 tattoos also.  But then I have 4 colors of sharpie marker drawings.  I guess each color represents a different radiation field.  I get 6 zaps in total each day, 4 of them with bolus.

Lsellrejer: I don't understand why you are having more surgery. Do you have an infection?



Go with: I never got the sharpie markings, except to help place the tats. You guys are a constant reminder of how lucky I've been through all of this! Btw, since my tats are three SMALL dots, I told my hubby that they are the sun, moon, and earth seen from a great distance! Gotta have humor, right? I never, ever thought I'd have a tattoo, and some may think these don't count, but I disagree. Now I am considering something other than "nipples" when I get to that stage.



Ck: I am soooo, sooooo glad you're feeling better. It breaks my heart to think of all you've been through!!!



Well, I'd better go take a nap or it will be my turn to break down and cry!

Yes, my surgeon said that he was doing the surgery mainly due to the seroma.  He said you can wait and keep draining but will fill up and then chance more infection.  Its good you are doing. I hate this has happened to you! Another bump in the road to slow down process...aggravation!

Run, I have expanders under my skin, not the pec muscle, so they may be a bit different than yours. I don't know if I would describe mine as lumpy, but I can see and feel a few ridges. I asked the PA about them and she said it was the folds in the expanders. Apparently they will be that way until I am fully expanded and then they will smooth out. It's weird. I have a size 500 expander and wish to remain a C cup size, so that's what they are striving for. I don't want melons either! Glad you are feeling better.

ckmoss...glad I made you chuckle!!! ;-) 

Annbr...maybe what I'm seeing are ridges...my skin appears wavy.  very STRANGE to see.  I guess I'll ask the Dr. next time I go what size I'm looking at.  I know that the expanders look very different from the actual implants.. If you ask me this whole process is just STRANGE!!!!

Ann, the more I hear about ridges and fills, the more thankful I am that I didn't jump and do reconstruction right away.  Wondering if I can get used to being flat.  I think I've about had it with doctors and hospitals for a while. 

Good morning ladies! Been gone a few days and had lots of reading to catch up on.

Took a few needed days of consuming myself with activities to get my mind off of this whole BC. Saturday went to a party at a girlfriends Ive know since kindergarten. Theyre were about 6 of us that were there from grade school/junior high. She just moved into a beautiful home on the waterfront out in Johnsburg. and then afterwards met up with my daughter whose fiance was celebrating his 21st birthday. Sunday went and bought a patio for out by the pool enjoyed the sun for a few hours until the storm blew in and then bbqd with a bunch of my sons friends. They always seem so show up when the gril gets started LOL. Then yesterday went up to Lake Geneva to visit another girlfriend from grade school that is moving to AZ later in the week and also stopped to visit my uncle in Williams Bay  who is up for the summer from AZ.

Anyway back to reality. My necrosis around the nipple and incisionhas decreased and scabbed up now and thinking things will all be good once scabs fall off, hopefully before thursday next week so I can get my first fill.

Well wishes to all you ladies

Good Morning Guys!  I hope everyone had a great nights sleep! I, myself, took a ativan and a low dose muscle relaxer and slept straight through.  I'm still very tired and fatigued though..but hopefully moving in the right healing direction.  My fup with my surgeon is tomorrow.  I think this "journey" is going to make drug addicts out of all of us...loll..Have you ever taken so many narcotics??  Other than my nightly something PM (motrin,tylenol, goody)...

MelMcbee-How is your reconstruction going? You haven't mention much..although I may have missed a post..wondering how you are doing?

Catey-Isn't it great to take a days off from this? I know it is like ONE AND ONLY THOUGHT CONSTANTLY IN MY MIND..so I have to make a conscience out loud declaration..I am taking the next day off from the word Cancer in my head and used around me..My family is more than happy to comply..lol..Then when its done that phrase from a song.."BACK TO LIFE..BACK TO REALITY" comes poring in!

Ann-Are you doing well?

GoWith-I am, at this moment, right with you with your thought process. A month or so ago..I was like..gotta hurry!! gotta get replacment..now Im so sick of it all..I have to remind myself to put puff in when I go out ..(remember I still one D there..looking all sad and alone)....seems after so much there comes a "don't get a crap'" line thats easy to cross..lol.

Run4-What size are you going for? Are doing the DIEP or the inplants..(Im thinking I should know this..but mind is failing me)

Steph-So you have the "Age of Aquarius" theme going on!  I love it!! I have one tatoo from like 20 years ago..tasteful small on my back shoulder..still love it as it reminds me of very fun single time living in Charlotte (big city .lol)

Isellrejer-Welcome to our group! You will find some WONDERFUL support in here.  It has been the main thing that has helped me "hold it together"..and give me smiles and chuckles every once in awhile..when nothing else or no one else can. The great thing is you can vent here when your family and friends are starting to get that "polite smile" on their face when you bring it up once again...lololol...(mine have been great!..I try to not talk it to death with them). I hope your surgery goes well!  Its a good thing they are doing..the right course of action, Ive heard of some they just keep trying to pull it out with a needle and that has its own infection risks!  Sending hugs!! and prayers your way!

Sweetpickle-Where are you!!!?????  You know you live about hour from me...don't make me come up there ..hunt you down..and give you big big big hug..well gentle big one!!...I will be going through Waxhaw yelling..."Sweetttttt pickkkllllleeeee?...Sir, do you know where Sweet pickle lives????"  lol

I'm in better mood..but still feeling this enormous fatigue..chemo can't be worse than this. I swear I thought I read that you went in to work for about 4 hours last week..Lord my mind is going. I'm sorry you are down..and you aren't spreading negativity.  Thats what site is for ..venting and support. Just remember you are at the home stretch..almost done! I told my husband what all you had been through past 3 years..he is praying for you and we are both sending positive vibes your way!

HoneyB-You still hangin in?

Oh sweetpickle..as for my mood..poss change could come at any time.  I have become totally psychotic the past 2 months..lol.

Oh one more thing I wanted to share...while I was at the hospital..we were walking the floor for excercise..me, mom, hubby..slowlllyyy..we past a room with loads of flowers..I commented how pretty..Mom was like well instead of flowers I thought Id help get groceries,meds,etc (stretched with half pay, bills from april surgery,etc)..I was like ..Oh I didn't mean I was wanting and thats totally fine!  You can't eat flowers!  and it was fine..I was just remarking on how many they had...ANYWAY (lortabs make me ramble)...my husband came up that night..had bought a get well balloon and had gotten a vase and filled it full of (2 of each) red, pink, yellow roses, lilies, gladiolas, gardenias from out of our yard..put these marble rocks we had from old silk arrangement..filled whole thing with water!!!!...it was Gorgeous!!..This was like the best thing EVER..James is not a flower arranging man..we are both really into gardening..but he REFUSES to cut one flower in the yard..or let me!! So this was major for him..I cried..Best husband ever.

I'm hanging in on the verge of the canyon of depression, hugh fight with my mom last night.. long story short was she accused me of "milking" the situation and that I should be able to basically get off my butt and help.  Umm I have where I can.. My body isnt healing as fast, my energy level is not where I want it to be (and that in itself is frustrating to me) ... I know mom when through the whole mx/recon at the same time.  She had NO kids at home, I have 3.. she had a job where if she was off it, she still gets paid.. I get nothing.. her hubby took time off work, mine.. 5 days.  I have done what I can where I can as I can.  What am I supposed to be, superwoman and not let any of my emotions show?? I had a horrible night when hubby helped to take those steri strips off, I feel like frankenstein.. OMG I got hurt deep.  Trying to get out of that doesn't happen over night.  So I had a bad day yesterday.  Geesh.. get over it.  You didn't see he help the kids clean the house Friday to help hubby (yeah I payed for it that night), you didn't see me attempt to do a load of laundry with the help of my son.  Don't tell me what I'm not trying to do.  I'm not superworman like you think I should be! 

Ok.. rant closed... sorry had to be all about me for a moment. Will come back and chat later... I love you ladies..your my rocks and my saving grace that I am not alone and I'm normal... as normal can be.  XXooXX

honeybunny, you're right, you are not alone. I wish I had a magic wand to make everything better, but all I can do is say a prayer. We are here for you!

HoneyB-If you don't stop and take care of yourself ..you are going to end up back in the hospital. You just have to put your foot down and say I am taking care of myself and ya'll can go jump in a lake (G rated version..you may change accordingly).  I mean really.  It is your body ..stand up for it!...or sit down for it..My husband now does not say a word when I cry for no reason..he use to ask "Whats wrong?" (even asked 30 min after diagnosis for bc)..he no longer asks that.     or anything for that matter...   Its a matter of training.....lol

Get better..take a day for pity party and then try and climb out of it..you don't want to get DEPRESSION..like a diagnosis...I get on here and vent..it does help..

We should one year from now..when we are all well....somehow all meet....I would love to meet ya'll!

Sweetpickle-He is a good guy.  Although, right before my surgery we had started snipping at each other..we never argue..more of bite each others head when we are tired, stressed or hot/since the whole stopped breathing had to bag me thing..he is super sweet and full of patience again..lol..Its normal though..this has been going on for me 3 months and still not to chemo.  I was reading what Melrose wrote and thought..thats going to be me..take a whole year to get done. But I just can't think that far ahead.  Curious is this your 3rd week recovering from DIEP and if so do you think you could lie in a recliner recovering at the beach?  Like on the balcony or would a 8 hour drive to get you there do you in?  I'm asking because we were going to try and time my reconstruction so we could still go to Destin, FL (already paid down on condo and all for Oct 12th.)..so I figured couldn't I recoup there my 3rd or 4th week as good as at home or not?  I know everyone is different, but going to kinda decide on your answer..whether to let go of deposit.  This is if I can get well enough to get ball on the roll.

AMBNH-Are you ok?  Casey? Steph?

Oh Run, you made me laugh!



ckmoss, I would LOVE to meet everyone.

Run- rotfl!



Ckmoss- I would not be able to be in a car for more than 45 minutes right now, that is why Im still in Charlotte at mils house, my house is a two hour drive up to the mountains. I was hoping that next week i might be up for it. Keep in mind though that I did a left msx and then two weeks later did the right msx with diep at same time. That is a lot of surgery in a short perid of time so it may take me longer to recover from. Also, I'm not using strong pain meds as I worry about addiction so if you took some good meds you may be fi ne. I thought I would be better off by now, this coming Friday will be three weeks.