December 2009 Rads Group

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited May 2013

    Also doing Happy Dance for you VAl.....Keep up the good work, I am on my way to Happy Hour and will toast to continual good news for you....Yippppppppppeeeeeeeeeeeee........Jewly

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited June 2013

    Hey Guys, where is everyone?..Sure hope all is well, I started walking 2X WEEK again, 10 miles total, always feel better when I do....I have lost so much weight that I am actually trying to put on a few lbs, I feel good, but don't want to look fraile.....Still scared everytime I have scans and such....Getting blood checked every two weeks to keep up with the coumadin levels, that  I will be on forever!....Trying to find handyman to finish inside my house, so I can start working on dock area.....House needed so much, Alan stopped having any interest at once he started his affair...

    Have met a really nice man, unfortunately he had been married for about 20 years when about 5 years ago when his wife was only 50 years old, she developed dementia, he stuck by her side (appears they did it all and had a wonderful life).  Finally a few months ago she had to go into a fulltime care facility where she recently passed away, only 55..I feel so bad for him, don't know what to say or do, but what a nice guy, stayed by her all the way...I didn't know that demetia could kill you and when I asked, he said that at the end, you forget how to chew, swallow and then you forget how to breath...Makes my last year of shocking happenings seem nothing compared to the last 5 years of his life...At this time, I am holding back but would really like to get to know him, but he will need a  lot to time.....But at least I know that I can be attracted to a very few respectable guys that may still be out there....Sorry, this is so much about me, it's just I feel I can say things to you guys and it will stay between us and I just have to get it out, even though it has nothing to do with my medical state...Just mental....

    How is everyone?...Anything you guys need to get out, I am listening, whether personal or medical.....Sure hope all of you are getting great results with whatever you are dealing with, I am still here for you no matter what!!!...thanks for listening, Jewly

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  • mimi1964
    mimi1964 Member Posts: 2,163
    edited June 2013

    Hey Jewly, love your new pic you look awesome!  This nice man sounds very sweet and like a potential keeper.  Yes, it will take him a little while to get over the loss of his wife, but keep in mind that if his wife has had dementia for quiet a while, he acutally lost her mentally a long while ago.  Meaning that she stopped knowing him on some level most like several years ago (if she was so young when she passed and that in itself is so very sad).  All he has had of her for last few years is a physical body.  Dementia is such a hard disease process for family to deal with.  It progresses for each person that develops it at different levels.  I wish you luck.  I pray that time will heal this gentleman rapidly.  He is still a young soul that doesn't need to spend the rest of his life alone.  You are a wonderful person Jewly and will be a great, loving addition to any gentlemans future... whether it be as a steady companion or a future wife someday.  Be blessed and enjoy life Smile

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited June 2013

    Thanks Renee for positive feedback and thoughts...Yes, he is a really great guy, although he is an Engineer, he is also definitly a biker, goes on 80 mph long bike rides for therapy, big part of his life...I just don't see myself as biker-chick...Scares me to death!!!!!.......Oh well like I said, at least I know that there was an attraction so I am still wanting a nice strong man is my life...

    Met with Alan .yesterday to discuss a few things...Met him half way at Sabastian.....Lots to discuss, some paperwork done etc... but he still doesn't get it about where all of us have been coming from since first diagnosis, we change, no one knows how scared we are because we are the Moms and have to stay strong, I for one am sick of being so strong, I want to be a little girl and lean on a very strong faithfull man.....My husband felt he was the neglected one and chose to take the way (ego what about me attititude) out instead of being there for me...I know he is in a dark place, but unfortunately he chose that road...We had a good life!...well I thought we did until he got caught!!

    So far I believe her husband does not have the truth about the two of them, if Alan thinks it's bad now with the guilt he says he has, it is only going to get worse when more people on the other side that have been lied to for at least a  year and a half find out about..It is just the combo of the two of them selfishly destroyed so many lives and he says that they have no future plans, I said so you gave up 16 years of your past to know you have no future plans.....He says he knows he has destroyed his future, I have to write this because I just do......I just want to find a Happy Place......Jewly

    So glad you are coming back on now and then like me......Miss all of our discussions about anything and everything...

    Hope everyone is very good, one day at a time......To us!!!!!....Jewly

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  • somanywomen
    somanywomen Member Posts: 872
    edited November 2013


    Hey guys, where are you?...How are you?...I have finally gone through over a year since finding out who my husband really was....Went through many ups and downs, many obstacles to handle...I'm still surprised to be able to have overcome so many unbelievable steps to getting my divorce..I have met with my soon-to-be-ex at least 3 times in last 6 months to discuss what is fair...He has been very cooperative with my requests..When I see him, there is a nothingness in his eyes, he says it is because there is nothing of him left, he says he wants to awaken from the nightmare, and that he did not ever think he would be where he is and have nothing to look forward to in his future..He has finally figured out that it is he that caused his own nightmare with selfish choices he made..I guess it is true about deceit...The one hurt most by deceit is indeed the one who chose to deceive..as quote below....


    "The only way anyone can betray people so close to them, their family or closest allies, is if they are deceiving themselves the whole time and telling themselves they have the right to do it, and that they are most important.“The peculiar horror of deceit is that it always begins with self-deceit, in what Plato called ‘the lie of the soul’ ’ .“Men deceive others because they have first deceived themselves” argues Horton, therefore implying that self deceit is always both a consequence of and a cause of the deceit and betrayal of others. “Truth defended by deceit becomes deceit”. "


    I however have reconnected with a high school friend who attended my Class Reunion, he lives in St. Lucie West, we so far are having fun, I have known him since Elementary School, so very comfortable.. Just had Mammo/Us so far so good, also had heart checked for low heart rate...But all in all can't complain..


    Hope you all are good, please check in now and then and update......Best to all...Jewly

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  • mimi1964
    mimi1964 Member Posts: 2,163
    edited November 2013


    Hi Jewly, so glad to hear that all is going well for you. Fun is never a bad thing. LOL! Just keeping it real. As for your soon to be ex, well I guess he has learned a lesson the hard way. It's very sad that sometimes that is what it takes. People are creatures of habit and often get caught up in webs of deceit and lies and when it becomes untangled are left with a stringy mess that is their life. It leaves them tattered and torn, looking for a place to start over because where they have just been isn't where they want to return to, but the comfort of the one they loved and lost is like and old shoe and they find that is what they miss the most and can't have it. It's really sad for they sink into a deep depression and many times they have trouble climbing out of it, but it's their own fault because they are the ones who put themselves there to start with.


    Jewly you just keep moving ahead with your life and look to the future. You have much life to live. Glad to hear that your mammo is good.


    Bonnie hope all is well with you? How about your Valerie? How are you doing these days?

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  • BonnieSF
    BonnieSF Member Posts: 101
    edited March 2015

    Hey Renee, Jewly, Veggie!

    I haven't been here in so long! Last message on here was Nov 2013. If any of you ever login here, please post a message about how you are.

    I'm fine; no cancer; been enjoying backpacking a whole lot and taking vacations that are way cool. In May 2015, I'm hiking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu! I'm very psyched!

    Hope you are all well.

    Bonnie

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