Chemo May 2013

ReddHedd... I'm with pat!

Send her an email every morning... "doing good. I'll let u know if anything comes up or if I need anything. Thanks for your support!"



Not that your mom is like this but I personally have found a few friends that are living vicariously through my drama... It's frustrating to watch.... Like they have any idea the fears and emotions that go wit the minimal info I do tell them.



Soooooooooo after all of my fretting, the picc is in.... Not pleasant, but not nearly as bad as I thought... I'd describe it as a tough IV day, all done! No more pokes for meeee! no more pokes for meeee! It's a bit sore, but that too will pass...

Gonna be a pain in the ass to keep dry and get dressed, but I will say it was worth doing!



Thanks to everyone for the encouraging talks! Now I feel like a 4 year old who didn't wand to get a shot! Haha



Anti Dracula ... I like it! Or.... Fred lol... Give me ideas, guys!

lorrie - I'm so sorry that you havt to deal with all the bills too.  that"s as bad as having a treatment.  I'vebeen blessed with an insurance that is taking care of the bills for this.  but my husband is duefor some procuders for his medical condition and there is no way we could ever pay it.  not sure what we are going to do about that. but it does make me understand the stress of medical bills.

Gully-Glad you had anice time at the abll games.  soak all the good times in.  it is tough hearing people's comments sometimes.  i just don't think they understand.  especially when they are feeling just fine.

Lorrie, Pat, others  -  Love your sense of humor.

Teresa- Nice to have an understanding boss who is willing to be flexible.  How did the clipping go?

Lorrie-So sorry you ar getting the itchy/numbing/tingling feelings.  When do these s.e."s end?

Gully-Diddo to you.  And yes I am still in the hospital.Ends up that I will have surgery on my hand and will probably get a vein removed.

argyunis- Congrats to you.  Making real progress.

Lisa-Hoping you feel rested up by tomorrow.

RedHeddMomma-  I understand re your mom.  It's like it's about her somehow.  it isn't.  it's about you.  people handle it the only way they know how.  And sometimes that way is a very selfish way.  but even though she does all those thoughtless/somewhat selfish things.  it"s not personal to you.  it feels personal.  But, really, it"s all about her and her needs.  i know it"s hard, I am just barely learning how, but stay strong in your needs and let her needs fall by the wayside.  We need to stay  as stress free as possible even if it means we don't accomodate someone elses needs.

todaymy hubby comes to visit me at the hospital.  He's worried about me getting a secondary staff infection in the hospital.  He's worried about me going under. for the hand surgery.  Yesterday he said to our girls "She could lose her arm.  Good grief!!  he was here for 5 minutes today and i told him that our heads are in two different places.  Yes I could get a secondary infection, yes going under is always a concern but I cann't let my head go there.  After a few more minutes I said you don't look happy being here.  You look miserable.  Go home.  He said he doesnt like it in these places (having to be in hospitals several times himself).  I said go home.  He said o.k.and he said I love you.  I said I love you too. ... i fullfilled my desire of peace.

Having minor surgery around 6 p.m.California time.

We will not only get through this, we will get through this triumphantly.  - Carla

Good luck Carla! Thinking of you!

Annie,

I only take one steroid pill in the morning and one around dinner. I am on Cytoxan/Taxotere not Carboplatin not sure if that makes a difference or not.

Carla,

Hugs to you! Hang in there! I am so sorry you have had to deal with this "extra bonus" to treatment. You are right, doom and gloom does not help anything. You are right to keep positive thoughts. I will be thinking of you and sending some very positive vibes!

Carla, wishing you the best for a successful operation.



Lorrie, yeah! Picc line is in....Peter picc? Penelope picc? Ice picc? Picc-nic? (As in it will now be easier to get that chemo and bloods!)'



Steroid pills...I take 4 mg dose. one in am , one in pm, day before, day of, and day after chemo....works for me, and I can usually sleep. Last night was the exception but I was thinking how I will be staring tamoxifen and then my surgery in the fall and how the heck that will work with the kids in school, and what if the doctor doesn't want to wait til fall, then I will miss out on the vacation I booked for end of .august...blah blah blah! Lol.



Reddhottmomma, sounds like you are in a losing situation. My husband wants all the gritty details and I refuse to share them. I'm not discussing bowel movements so he can share it with the world! I grew up as a people pleaser, I must be getting old because I've slowly started to not care what others think. Life is too short to try and please everyone. And aren't we supposed to be reducing our stress! Remember your friends here next time you go to reply to mom. Then come back and tell us the good news of how you kept it short and sweet so we can cheer you on!



Argynis,

You might want to Double check with your doctor about the amount? I don't take taxol so can't offer insight. Hopefully someone here does and can help you out.



Pat

Jeesh pat.... I'd be concerned about the lack of concentration on your labs on their part.... Especially when you are asking specific questions...



I'm not sure now that I've paid enough attention... Just going with whatever they say.



I think you need to do what makes you more comfortable with the information you have. That's why they get paid the big bucks! To be educated enough to give you information about your concerns... I wouldn't "confront". ... But ask nicely for the information you're looking for and don't walk away thinking "but, they never answered my question"

I do that too often!



Sorry! The problem is...I think... They deal with so many patients, they forget that this is our first time with breast cancer treatment, chemo, side effects, learning what our blood counts mean... And they generalize everything... But none of us are exactly the same!



We already have sooooo much to deal with physically, mentally & emotionally.... Give us real answers to our questions! It's not like we are 5 years old and shouldn't be burdened with the answers.... Okay, so I acted 5 years old last week, but still!

Here comes Lorrie with her shot glass. She is always ready for a cocktail! Lol



Thanks for our advice with the .dr. I didn't mean confront in a bad way....I will have to think this through. I wonder about changing oncologists after my final treatment. May have to see. I'm not overly thrilled with her personality. I feel a lot of info is lacking. But who really has the time to shop doctors! Surely something to think about!



Pat

Pat... The one thing that is important to me is being confident with my care provider, because I'm no a cancer specialist, I need someone who is.... I'm not so sure about my Onc, but my nurses have been the bomb!

With that said.... You..... Me.... We .... Are in charge here and I think we forget it sometimes cuz, well shit, we're too exhausted to persue otherwise! And just do what we're told.... I know what you meant by confront.... But take control of your care and your concerns... (hahaha...says the baby who's scared of everything. I give advise.... I don't follow it)



GWTF... What happened?



Yup.... My shot glass is a little tender tonight... But will be ready for the rest of my cocktails this summer! I wonder....... Can I shoot tequila into it? Hahahahahahaha I'm totally kidding!!!

Gosh... I'm beginning to feel like this is my cancer FB page.......how PATHETIC am I?

Thanks Michelle..... I think I will take a pain med ad (I konow this sounds funny but wrap It up comfy for the first night)

Michelle... Did u go to the look good, feel good class you asked me about? I'm curious cuz I don't like group stuff, but wonder if I should go to the next one...



My stubble is almost gone.... Just some on the top of my head I wish would just go already!



At home I'm bare headed, but when I go to to store, or work I wear a hat & soon as I get home, I whip it off!

itis, I sobbed to my MO about how horrible it was on the table on Friday.  I sobbed because I felt like I was lied to about why they wanted me in there.  I told them I hadn't quite built up my trust in them, then they put me through that without a warning. 

Then I went to radiation proudly wearing my buttons (one that said chemo's chairs are more comfortable, the other with a picture of the rad machine that flashed red and said torture device).

Plus, I was so anxiety ridden when I left for my apt. I forgot the bag full of buttons I made for Rads and the container of cookies I had ordered for them.  Going to make a clean start today with cookies and buttons and a smile on my face.

THEN, I'm going to get my stubbles colored.

GWTF...

Have fun getting the stubbles colored! Are you goin with a funky color? I think it'd be fun to watch it grow out then....



I'm sorry about rads...is it painful or scary... And did they have you do a session when you weren't expecting it? That's what I hate about some of my apts... I go in expecting one thing and they "need" to do other things as well... I'm the type that needs to wrap my head around something before doing it,,,,



I'd say it's nice that you're bringing them cookies anyway!

itis, I had my mapping/planning last monday.  On Thursday they called me to come in on friday for xrays.  Xrays turned out to be fine-tuning my planning for 2 hours with my arm over my head.  Now had they TOLD me that was what was going to happen, I would have been prepared.

And it's not painful and not really scary unless I look at the pictures of myself on the tv monitor.

Carla, how are you doing?  So sorry you are having these major issues.

How is shot glass doing today?  I hope you got some relief so you could get some rest during the night.

Pat, here is hoping you are having a good day so you know you will make it to the graduation tomorrow.

Reddhedd, tell her that you will give her as much information as you can when you are feeling up to it.  It is enough to try deal with all of what you are going through.without have to worry about helping others through it with you.  It is too bad if others can't understand that.

When I got the good news on Friday that my white blood cells had rebounded enough to skip the neulasta shot I asked about help with the joint and muscle aches and pains.  I normally take a steriod am & pm on the day before and after chemo and one the morning of chemo.  He told me to help with those other aches I could take one steroid each day for the next two days after as well.  He also said to try Advil instead of Tylenon and if that didn't work to let them know and I could possibly get something stronger.

The clipping of the hair went well.  We went to 1/4".  I keep it naked at home and throw something on to go out....however I seem to be throwing it off in the car as well.  I don't freak out when I look in the mirror like I thought I would.  My family is still getting used to seeing me here at home with basically no hair.....but they will just have to deal with it.  

Today my cleaners are here.  I checked out Cleaning for a Reason but then also checked out my local cancer.org.  I got approved for 10 2 hour cleanings.  Today is the first.  I was surprised they approved me for so many but I will take it.  I am having them come every other week.  So this will get me through my last two chemo treatments, who knows what I will be looking at for Radiation then I haven't even started anything on reconstruction.  I'm a little nervous about it all.  No idea on what to expect with radiation.  My Onc said I would most likely have to have it, but isn't sending me to a radiologist until I am done with chemo.  Then there wil be the tissue expanders.....more surgery, making the two breasts look like each other.  Ugh!  A lot to think about.  Plus I NEED to get it all done by the end of the year so I don't have to start all over with my insurance co pays and max out of pocket expenses.  

Hope you all have a good day.