Starting Chemo April 2009

Chelev, so sorry that you are still having to deal with all these issues - I hope that you can get it sorted out, please keep us posted. Sending hugs.

Florbo, so happy to hear that you are safe, these storms are very scary! So out of our control...And what a nice story from the gas station, it is nice to hear things like that, we don't hear them often enough . I hope that your discomfort eases up soon.

Titan, so happy that your appt went well..one more to go...keep us posted.

All is ok with me, looking forward to the weekend, I need a rest.

Hope you are all feeling well and doing ok, sending you all hugs, Judy x

Back in 09, i was in a couples' support group during treatment. it met for 8 weeks and was part of a clinical trial, and we actually got paid to go! It was very helpful, and the 4 couples stayed close and had dinner a few times afterwards.  But by a year or so later, i was ready to be done with it. We really didn't have anything in common with them, and it all felt like a bad reminder of the whole cancer experience and i was ready to put it in the past. And it's been a long time with no word and I thought it was over.....

So...NOW after all this time, they are having a dinner this weekend. The one couple called to invite us and I said yes, even though i didn't want to go.  If I had said we were busy (made an excuse), they would have changed the date so we could all be there.  So the only way to get out of it (that I can think of) is to honestly say that it is a painful reminder and not something I want to do in the future.

This weekend is set - we are going. But for the future....any feedback about this? The easiest thing is just to go. I hate to hurt anyone's feelings. But.........

I never find myself in this position. Any advice would be helpful.

I KNOW you understand.

Thanks

Love, Amy

Helen, I know I shouldn't have, but your post did make me smile...you are right, if it wasn't so sad, it would be entertaining, whatever next??? I hope you are enjoying reflecting on the wedding and have a restful weekend.

Amy, I agree with what Geri wrote; I think that being honest is the best way to go; either if you decide to decline or at the end of the dinner. I have found since my BC that time is too short and we have to put ourselves first sometimes. If you are honest and polite about it (which I have no doubt you will be...), there is no need that anyone should take offence. I always used to worry about doing the right thing all the time, and even though now, I don't go out of my way to upset people, it is ok to say what you feel. If you don't want to revisit that time, that is ok, we have enough worry and stress in our lives and if we can avoid any more, then I think we should. Hope that is helpful...

Florbo, how are you feeling today? Chelev, hope you are doing ok.

Titan, hope the last appt goes ok for you.

I have had a long week, 2 visits to the Onc's office (she was off sick the first time). I didn't realize till last night, how exhausted I am. We are having a quiet family supper tonight and lunch with friends tomorrow.

Hope you all have a great long weekend (for those who do), I miss the Holiday weekends in the US!

Hugs to you all as always, Judy x

Well, we went to the dinner last night. I have to say - it was MUCH better than I anticipated.  They other couples are very lovely and warm and very fond of us. My husband and I agreed on the way home that we just could not tell them we didn't want to do it again.  They are just too kind & caring.  
We didn't discuss the cancer history much, and everyone is doing well in that department. One woman's husband had open heart surgery, and another husband (the oldest one, in his late 80's) is beginning to show signs of dementia, which was very sad. So in some ways, it was a reminder that life is NOT just about breast cancer.

There was other happier news as well, stories of peoples' travels, accomplishments of children and grandchildren. One of the men just retired - and I SWEAR he looked younger, happier and more relaxed than he was when we knew him 4 years ago. he had a stressful job and was glad to leave it. It was interesting to hear about the transition, and I have to say - made retirement look VERY attractive!

So I made it through.

in other and MUCH SADDER news, our dear little dog who is around 13, and we have had for almost 6 years (was a rescue that we adopted), ...out of the blue she had 4 very severe seizures on Thurs night. We spent most of Friday at the vet and they think it is probably caused by a brain tumor. We got medicine and  are caring for her, but we are preparing ourselves to say goodbye, probably this week. She is very beloved and we are very very sad. But I am determined that we not let her suffer just so we can be able to have her. So we are monitoring - so far the meds are working, no more seizures, but she is very weak, wobbly and spacy.  We will give it a few more days, as the vet recommended, and then make a decision. SO SAD!

And finally, my ex husband called me tonight. We discussed the suicide attempt and the challenges he is now facing with our daughters who are understandably very upset by it, especially the pregnant one.  I tried to tow the line between honesty and diplomacy and it was very draining.  I did tell him how devestating I personally found the whole thing, that the man I loved for 2 decades and raised 2 kids with, would come to this point. He said he was very surprised that it impacted me.  Shaking my head - what do you say to that?

Ok enough out of me. This is a long tiring weekend - we can't really go anywhere to leave the dog at this point so we are just staying around the house. It is just very sad.

Love to all.

Amy

ps - in happier news - only FOUR weeks left till my daughter's due date!!!!

Hope everyone is ok, has been quiet for a couple of days.

All ok with me thankfully. Sending you all hugs, Judy x

Hi Ladies!

I've been reading ya'lls posts, but have been busy just trying to keep up with my kids and friends who have been visiting.

I've been saying prayers for all who have been having appointments.  I don't think the anxiety will ever go away.

I am SOOO much better.  The itching and pain are very minimal now.  I just have a nice tan on one side of my chest.  I had Herceptin #4 done and 13 more to go.  My mom is back helping me out for another week which I'm so thankful for.  We are getting close to the end of the school year and it is always crazy.  We had a busy, but fun weekend.  Our friends bought a luxury suite for the Taylor Swift concert and invited our family.  It was so much fun.  TS is a great performer and has failry clean lyrics that were fine for my kids' ears.  The boys had a good time, too.  They loved all the theatrics of the show along with the food and the luxury of the suite.  We told them their concert experience will probably never ever be like this again.  

My mom has been reading several nutrition science articles published in Asia and they are finding that adding ginger to your diet helps with a lot of disease processes.  Patients with chronic disease, cancer, stroke, etc all responded well by drinking ginger tea daily or by having more ginger in their diet (soups, veggies, etc).  Just a little FYI.

Have a good evening!

Hi Ladies, I am back from my long weekend in London - it was a very special weekend, I enjoyed celebrating my parents' Golden Wedding with them and spending time with family and friends. It recharged my batteries a little, but now I am back at my desk, it is a distant memory ...it was definitely the right decision to go. So happy that I did it.

Betsy, I was sorry to read about your work colleague, I am sure she will appreciate the support you can give her. It is always difficult watching someone begin the journey. I find it traumatic. Good that your tests are all good - I am grateful for that.

Florbo, good to read that you are feeling so much better and the concert sounds fab! So great that you are out and about and enjoying "normal" stuff.

Helen, how are you doing? Hope everyone is doing well, and wishing you all a great week.

Sending hugs, Judy x

Amy, we say that it should all be "in a good hour" - I hope these next few weeks are easy for your daughter and the lead up is full of excitement and laughter!

I am celebrating my birthday today! I am actually at work, but enjoying all the attention anyway ...

Hope you are all doing well and having a good day so far, sending you all hugs, Judy x

Thank you so much Amy! You are so right!

Hugs to you all, Judy x

Oh Judy what sadness. This is such a hard thing. I hope the love of family pulling together during this challenge is a comfort to all of you. Sometimes that is all there is. Sending love - 

Amy

ps -  had my post-surg internal check up with the gyno yest.  All is fine. Since I have nothing for them to look at anymore, and my mammo and breast checks are done at onc or breast surgeon, I don't have to go back anymore unless there is something that is concerning me.  So...one less doctor on the annual list!

Judy, so sad to read this about your sister. Is she also BRCA+. I have also had 2 bouts of cancer -- surgeries, chemo, rads -- 2 times for all. It is awful but doable. I hope also that your sister is one of the lucky 10% . We are here for you any time you need to vent. Tell your sister to come here too and we would happily embrace her.



Amy, glad to hear all went well at post op. I also had post op this week and everything is good.

Judy, so sorry to read of your sister's possibility for a repeat breast cancer...I will pray that it is a bad scare but nothing more. If it is proven that she has to go through treatment again, as Helen said, it is doable...sad but doable. She is fortunate to have you as a sister and a support, distance or not! You are one of the most kind, thoughtful and sincere people

I " know".

Amy, the time is going fast...baby here soon. You must be so excited.

I am muddling through work as best I can - it is hard with so much added responsibility since my boss is out, but I am managing. She goes for chemo #2 on Monday. She called me in tears yesterday because her hair is coming out in clumps. She did get it cut short last week, but I told her she needs to buzz it and she is going today. Her daughters who also work in the company are so upset over the hair loss - I remember it made everything " real" then.

I'm glad everyone's check ups have gone well.

Off to see a venue for my daughter's bridal shower - at least there are good things to look forward to. Have a great weekend everyone

Geri

Judy--your sister has been in my thoughts often these past few days.  My heart is just heavy for her as she awaits the results.

Geri--your boss can NOT have a better person there to support her through her BC.  You've been there, done that, and knows what she is going through.  

My September 2012 chemo group is pretty tight-knit.  We have planned a girls weekend in September for everyone to meet, hug, cry, and celebrate life in Las Vegas.  There will be 16 of us.  Several are coming in from Canada.  We have rented a villa with this amazing pool and lots of bedrooms (because we are all still needing our sleep).  I'm really excited to finally meet my cyber support group in person.  But then there is part of me that thinks, "What if they don't like me?  What if we don't get along?"

Have a good evening!

So, the results came back, it is BC again...sigh...

She sent me an sms "got the results, is not good news, here we go again..."

She sees the Onc on Friday and we will know more then. Thank you all for being here. Hope you are all ok.

Hugs to you all, Judy x

Thank you Amy; this is very hard for all of us. I have not told my kids yet and I am nervous as my middle daughter is very fragile and is still traumatized from when I was sick. I had thought about suggesting this site to my sister or another similar one. I will look into the FORCE. I just don't want to overwhelm her at the moment.

She has two boys, ages 16 and 14. They were young when she had it the first time, so telling them will also be very hard. At least we know we all have eachother to fall back on and lean on.

But, on a lighter note, we look forward to hearing good news Amy, hope your daughter is feeling well.

This evening, we are going out with friends, most of us have birthdays in June, so we get together to celebrate. It feels a bit strange to be going out and having fun, but I suppose it is just all part of carrying on with our lives.

Hope everyone is doing ok, hugs to all, Judy x