Chemo May 2013

lpc - The nurse keeps asking if I've had watery eyes - apparently its a common SE from the chemo. So maybe that's what is happening for you. She recommended eye drops to treat the symptoms but not sure which kind....maybe just visine?

Miasara - sorry for your delay...just after gearing up to get started! Hopefully you wont have to wait long.

Gully and Lorrie - UGH! so sorry you're having a tough time. I hope the challenging days get shorter and lighter as we go on. Getting through this can be such a beast. Hugs to you.

Lorrie - I know what you mean about the emotional part of this. I try to be strong and non complaining around my teenagers - so in typical fashion they act like nothing is wrong with me and life is normal and mom can do anything! So I'm beginning to think a little moaning and groaning may be in order just to get their attention and awareness on the fact that IM GOING THROUGH CANCER TREATMENT and to be more understanding and realize I need some TLC!

Rockermom66 = Thanks for the pink wig info! I'm ordering one today. Did you have it styled or is it good out of the box?

Heres to everyone having a good week - we're on the upswing now towards our good days!

Annie

Lorrie, I think the hardest part of this whole thing is emotionally dealing with the length of time for treatment.  I was schedule for 4 AC treatments (every other week) and told 4 rounds of taxol which is given weekly.  Except, until the taxol started, we assumed a round was a week.  Nope, a round was 4 weeks.  That wasn't a happy day for me. 

Try to look at each step. Count down each step.  It helps to have mini goals like that.

Lorrie,

Maybe you should send a warning....during "week one" (or first 10 days after chemo) do NOT discuss my treatment, treatment plan or how I am feeling!



In my case I should just hang a sign around MY neck for my husband that says NO TALKING TO ME about ANYTHING related to how I feel, what I am doing, or ANYTHING ELSE! Lol. I am overwhelmed by what I feel is a lack of "action" on his part. I've been carrying the same chores daily, Same errands, same everything! Then he was mad that he didn't hear me acknowledge him when he was driving to pick up a play date for my son. I had answered,it took every fiber of my being to answer as I was scrubbing the sink.(after having cleaned the other bathroom!). This was on Day4! He is a tad bit hard of hearing, and I was on "low fuel" so he didn't hear it. I tore into him about his "expectations" for an answer.

I am so angry with my situation. He tells people I am "tired"...WTF- I'm not catching a break. By the way, we are both retired, his list of things to do is a mile long and all he does is sit on his iPad- the least he could do is look up things about what I am experiencing, or expected to experience? Or plan a celebratory vacation for when chemo is done...or SOMETHING!



I am stilly facing major surgery In the fall and I am just beside myself on how I am going to cope with that. My mom is elderly and frail and needy, so she would be no use. My two is a nut job and self centered and thankfully far away! Lol. My younger sister would bend over backwards to help but she works full time and has her own kids to attend to.



Anyhow, rant over. I am glad you brought your sister back to reality and then apologized. This cancer sucks. Treatment sucks. It is really hard to see past this at times. I don't think there is anyone who can understand what we are going through, unless they have done it themselves! you are right, no one wants to hear us complain, we make it sound good for them...maybe there needs to be a way to say something like "I'm having a really hard day today, but I'm trying to work through it". Or"I'm having a really hard day today and would prefer to not discuss it". Of course you know that will lead to people saying how good you look etc! So it will still be a "losing" situation. I wonder if you just said, please listen to me for a few minutes so I can feel better and then rant away! Lol. Bet they would never ask again!





Btw, have you tried the Claritan 24 to get rod of the bone pain? (You are doing Nulasta?). Maybe that will help? Glad you had the oxy.



I got To go. I've already done 4 loads of wash, pulled apart my boys room, did up all the dishes and compiled my grocery list. God forbid I sit on the iPad any longer, hubby might think Im tired. Lol

Maybe I should go look for a job.

Pat

argynnis, I never lost ALL my hair.  I shaved it down after my 2nd treatment, but I always had a bit of fuzz.  I LOVED it when I stopped growing hair on my legs and under my arms.  So quick to shower when you don't have to shave, or let the condiitoner sit in your long hair for a few minutes.  Embrace the good!

Pat...

I can almost 100% relate with the hubby situation.... I don't know why I get so angry when I hear him on the phone with someone and he says "she's doing great". I don't want him to paint a picture of mystery to everyone but IM NOT DOING GREAT....

I think the part that bother me is that maybe he actually thinks I'm doing fine thru this.



In my house, it's like it has been for the past 21 years.. I'm sick? Well laundry, dinner, housework still needs done and I did it... When hubby has a toothach, he's down on the couch whining as I take care of his needs.. Oh yeah... And I love it when he points out somethin he does do... "hey, I loaded the dishwasher" WOO HOO! Let's get the neighbors together & hire a marching band! That deserves a parade! Hahaha



Ah well, What a' ya gonna do? LOL

itiswhatitis: I agree with Gowiththeflow here! Early on in my marriage my husband used to throw his dirty underwear behind the bathroom door berfore he got into the shower. I would go after him and pick them up each day and place them into the laundry basket. I got fed up and decided one day that I was not going to pick them up! Days went by and the pile got bigger and I got super annoyed but did not give in! Then the question came one morning, Where are all my underwear? Proudly I yelled, check behind the bathroom door!!!!!! LOL Then I said if they are not in the laudry basket they dont get washed! He has not done it since, its been twenty years!

I swear husbands are like little boys, they dont know the simple things we think they should know to do in certain situations. My husband will notice that I dont feel well but he does not always know what I want him to do to help me , so I tell him! (My husband is literal if I dont ask I must be fine)

I keep a grocery list going in my kitchen, when Its gets about 10 items long, he offers to go to the store. (Because I told him, that is something he can do to help me)

Sometimes I need left alone, so he asks if I want to go the movies with he and my sons and understands when I say no, I need space. (Because I told him)

Sometimes I need comfort, so I just ask him to rub my back or come curl up in a chair with me. (I told him that when I get down just holding me helps me alot)

I think our husbands get scared of our situation, and go into denial, to protect themselves!

I hope everyone has a better time of it. Speak up, we deserve to be cared for during this freaking rollercoaster ride we are all unwillingly on!

Wow Patty you certainly don't sound like a retired woman! I must say I am in awe of you women who are doing chemo and still taking care of kids.



I have been taking care of my husband through back surgeries

,meningitis, chronic migrains for years now. I am lucky that he is more than willing to step up and do his share now. I still do most of the laundry but he and kids have taken over cooking cleaning and shopping. I just don't have the energy or desire any more. Work wears me downl like it never has before. I do believe I have aged 10 years since march! Today is first day I went in and didn't make it 8 hours.



Lisa

Luv that dinner plan too! At our house we call it "fend for yourself" night! LOL.....no one at my house has died yet either!

If you are concerned I wouldn't hesitate to call and just ask over the phone.  At least you can get an idea of whether it is a complication or normal healing.   Especially since you said it's the same pain as before.  

Well, wore my wig to work for the first time today!  Was a bit nervous, but everyone was really supportive so I appreciated that very much.  Feeling better today - no anti-nausea meds.  I'm grateful for my off week from Chemo - makes me feel human again   Can't say my little girl is excited about Mama's new hairless head, but she's coping pretty well.  Anyone have small children and know what signs to look for to make sure they are coping okay with it all?  My little one seems fine, but I don't want to just assume.  I'm open with her about the entire experience...I often wonder what she'll remember of all this as she gets older.

Worrywart93 - totally with you on the constipation!

Broke down and hired a cleaning service for a few weeks while doing chemo.  For me, that's a hard thing to do as I'm a bit of a control freak about my cleaning...but finally realized I needed some help and with my husband and I both working and a child to care for and all of this, something had to give!  Today was their first day and I have to say, the money was well worth the feeling of coming home to a clean house after a full day of work!

Have a good one everyone!

MomofSam - There is an organization called Cleaning For A Reason who clean houses for chemo patients for free. You should look them up ad see if they offer it in your area. Ironically I have a cleaning business so I clean houses for a living. The last thing I want to do when I get home from work is clean my own house. I was really exhausted after my 3rd round. I sorta hired my 16 year old to clean for me. I loved joking with her that I finally have a maid.

I think we left ours at 1 or 2 when I shaved.  I had a tiny bit of stubble and it's growing in slowly (although more on the sides than the top right now)  The stubble washes right down the drain when you shower. 

Rockermom:

Duct tape! that's hilarious! We did it at work as a joke a week or so ago!

Good luck w/ #3.... and as far as the hubby goes.... I have my complaints, but very grateful for him at times as well.... He puts up with a lot from me too! Well not really! I'm an angel!

Called out for 1st time since chemo started. Actually 1st fallout in 5 years. Hardest call I ever made. Round 3 has just knocked me off my feet! Hard time forcing myself to eat so have no energy. Rounds 1 and 2 were so uneventful was not prepared for this. Thought it would get easier not harder.



Kate good luck with round 2. Hopefully they will give you something for the heartburn and your se's will be less this time. No intimacy beyond hugging here either since mastectomy in March. No desire whatsoever. Wonder if it will ever come back?



Lisa

My hair came out in a big clump this morning. It is shedding faster than I can keep up with it, and now I have a bald spot. Just called the hairdresser, and he is going to buzz it down to a manageable size for me this morning.



I swear, cancer is a series of little losses, over and over again. It is wearing me out today. But,like everything else, I will get through this, too. My husband is going over with me - I am not sure who is giving moral support to whom at this point. But it is what it is...