We butches are at a disadvantage... ; )

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Tr4c3y
Tr4c3y Member Posts: 21
edited June 2014 in LGBTQA+ With Breast Cancer

As of today, I am 5 treatments into my regimen.  Hair, which was longish, straight and fine: mostly gone.  Complexion: terri-bad (acne, bad color).  Eyebrows: Still hanging in there, but telling me in the mirror every morning, "Girlfriend, soon we will leave you as well.  Muahahahahaha!"

We women who are not accustomed to using makeup are at a distinct disadvantage in this process, amirite?  Makeup-using women have always used makeup to hide their (real or perceived flaws), and now I, at 46, am thinking I'd better figure this thing out, and fast, since the last time I wore makeup was Prom Night in 19(mumblemumble, oh wait, I just told you hold ancient I am), and that required me to be sedated with a tranq gun and wrestled to the ground.

Last weekend I bought makeup for the first time in my life.  Not that I've used it yet - I have enjoyed staring at it somewhat quizzically, the way a corgi might watch a tennis match on TV, every time I open my bathroom drawer.  I am considering signing up for one of those "Look Good, Feel Better" seminars, but I think I would stick out like a pig at an expensive wedding.

Besides having a supportive but also-mostly-non-makeup-wearing DP, I have a BFF who's a hottie straight girl, and she's offered to help me, so all may not be lost.  I don't want to look "made up," but I am trying hard not to look like an acne-ridden zombie.  She promises she can make me look "natural," which, when it comes to makeup, is one of those things you usually only hear from funeral directors.

Has anyone else struggled with this as yet another of those super-fun issues that BC throws at you?

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  • Tr4c3y
    Tr4c3y Member Posts: 21
    edited May 2013

    tsting

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited May 2013

    Hi,

    I'm not a lesbian, but am a daily (natural) make up wearing ex-flight attendant. I went to the Look Good, Feel Better class and all types of women were there. I think it's worth going to since 1) everything is free 2) the women who volunteer to teach it were really nice and listened to everyone's needs and concerns.

    There was a wonderful British woman on the stage IV forum who told us that in England, putting on make up is called " getting your slap on". So, have fun getting your slap on!

    Caryn

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  • Tr4c3y
    Tr4c3y Member Posts: 21
    edited May 2013

    I should add that I have also had zero luck finding a wig, so I have amassed a shamelessly large collection of bandanas, biker skull caps and now two Buffs (for dress-up occasions).  My first wig looked like something Heather Locklear may have worn on the original 90210, and my last wig looks great on the model, but on me it looks like Dinah Shore Weekend 1987.  So I think it's even more critical to get the face in better shape, at least...

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  • cooka
    cooka Member Posts: 278
    edited May 2013

    Hiya TR,Thanks for the laugh! I am on the butch (ie) side of things, and had many of the same struggles.  i joked with someone else about starting a butchtique for lesbians with cancer so we could find appropriate camouflage to help us keep going through some of the bald, eyebrows falling off, acne- ridden fun (as well as mastectomy recovery gear that wasn't ridiculously pink, etc.) I color in my eyebrows for work still (cuz they are still MIA and I am tired of looking perpetually surpised), and my wig lasted about 2 days and I just had to go without and with some silly hats that I though worked with business casual (who was I tying to kid?) Hope you are through this extra special time soon!

    hang in there:)

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  • Ariom
    Ariom Member Posts: 6,197
    edited May 2013

    Thanks for that really well written post Tr4c3y ! I had a laugh too!

    Also, not gay, but I agree with Caryn. I used to be a volunteer makeup artist for Look Good Feel Better, many years ago. I would say, give it a go.

    There are many women who turn up for the LGFB who are not interested in a lot of makeup, they just want a little help to cover blemishes and to learn how to draw subtle brows.

    Cooka, I love your writing style too, you relly painted a picture!

    All the very best to both of you!

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  • softness1
    softness1 Member Posts: 217
    edited May 2013

    Lol,



    I feel your pain. Although I'm not a lesbian, I'm not into make up. Maybe lip gloss here & there and eyeliner at functions I attend. I did attend Look Good, Feel Better & got great pointers. I use the concealer for dark circles under my eyes & the eyebrow pencil trick to thicken thinning brows. That's it. It made a difference. Of course I spent hours in the mirror getting it right. Go to the class and ask about accomplishing the no make up look. Lots of pple, women & men fool us with that fresh face no make up look. It's at least worth a try



    Good luck

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  • Sparkytheimp
    Sparkytheimp Member Posts: 54
    edited June 2013

    I have never touched make up in my life, so this is definitely a thread that holds some interest for me.

    Never heard of Look Good Feel Good seminar, but maybe I will check it out when I can.

    Somebody mentioned ridiculously pink. Is that what I have to look forward to? Bleah.

    On the sunny side my friend will be sending me some crazy colourful wigs to wear, and I have zero problem with that. I'm a huge goofball, so anything that can turn whatever aspect of this rotten cancer treatment into something fun, is totally worth it.

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  • Sherlocked
    Sherlocked Member Posts: 46
    edited June 2013

    Yeah, I'd go to the Look Good Feel Better thang.  You won't stick out.  I looked like Uncle Fester myself and fit right in.   They'll teach you how to use it ALL, way more than most of us would ever use.  

    If you could learn to put some darkness around your eyes to emulate lashes with eyeliner or eye shadow, and do something with the brows - pencil, tattoo, or those fake tattoos that last up to a week, you will look much less sick.  Sallow or zitty skin, dark circles, all of this stuff does not help but really it's the lack of this hair that makes us look like cancer patients.  You don't have to get good at it all...just learn to handle one pencil to smudge a bit of darkness on your eyelids by where the eyelashes should be thicker (or should be period), and color in your brows a little bit with a pencil.

    Over my year of treatment I acquired, I dunno, maybe 7 wigs.  They all looked like shit on me.  I just went around bald despite being more girly than not. 

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  • GoWithTheFlow
    GoWithTheFlow Member Posts: 727
    edited June 2013

    For those dealing with acne, I had bought a  clarisonic cleaner brush a while back.  I find when I use it daily with the philosophy purity cleanser, my skin looks good.  I tend to get blackheads on my cheeks and temples and this helps them go away.  plus, the vibration of the brush gives my skin a healthy glow.

    We had all types of women in the look good feel better class I attended.  It's summer in virginia and I don't like to wear too much makeup because my face will melt.  But I've gotten good use out of the eyebrown pencil to fill in my bare spots, and I was so happy to learn how to use a bandana and scarf, something that had intimidated me before.

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited June 2013

    I had terrible acne on steroids. I got a cream called duac from my doctor. That helped. I also used only powder on my face. That works well. Physician Formula is line with less of the nasty chemicals. I stay away from the minerals since those are harder on skin, and stay with regular powder. Also, light eyeliner and some mascara also helps. Lipstick would help as well, maybe a gloss with some color. I never wore wigs, only bandanas. Hate the wigs

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