In shock

Hi everyone, I am just checking in.  Sorry it has taken so long but the past week has been a whirlwind!  I have been bombarded with so much information my head is spinning.  I do know that I have 2 lumps, one is 6mm and the other is 10mm, just found out that I am ER- PR+ 45% and HER2-  I sort of understand what this means.  I have seen a surgeon and will be having a lumpectomy. Then we will go from there.  It is hard to keep up with you guys.  I had gone back to the beginning trying to get to know everyone and their situations, but I could only get so far, then I went to the end and started going backwards trying to find out what happened to Bennymuffins.  In between all that I have been reading reading reading.... trying to understand everything.  I am still have a very positive attitude my family is doing well for the most part.  My DH did keep giving me these sad eyes and then he would cry, he did that a lot, but he is feeling better since the Dr appt.   

I guess that is it for now, I would like to make a personal comment to each one of you but my brain is on overload and I am still working on getting to know each one of you,  besides all this we are having a graduation party for my son on Saturday and having company from out of town for the weekend and then possibly surgery next week.... so I will be in touch when I can.  You all are an inspiration!!

Iceburg.....don't you stress about not knowing all about us, or the history of this very active thread. All you need to know, really, is that we get it, we've been there or are going there, and we are here for you and always in your pockets. Concentrate on the exciting, special things like the grad.....hug hubby......remember to care for yourself.

Iceburg - I can't keep up and I don't have going on what you do. Don't stress. Just post with us, have fun, hang out and ask away. Don't want to lose you on here but there is also a "lumpectomy lounge" thread. I bought button up front shirts from Goodwill though I still wear mine (flannel for winter) oversize so comfy. Also comfy pull on pants, I think they are yoga pants. Lots of my shopping at Walmart - handy. I also bought front hook sports bras from Walmart - Fruit of the Loom. Still wear those too esp. if doing chores and don't want any jiggle.  No way could I fasten a bra in back then and you will want the support. You might go home with a drain so be prepared. Hosp. was prepared to send me home with something to hold it but I didn't have one. Most lumpectomy pts don't have one but it is not unheard of and my doc warned me. I also packed an overnight bag just in case I had to stay but did not. I remember very little of ride home -about 45 minutes. Dozed off/on rest of day and the next day.

Benny (named after her cat) last we heard was finishing rads after chemo. And her computer had died. Websister is in touch with her occasionally and keeps us updated if she knows anything new. We hope our Benny comes back here eventually.

BENNY WE MISS YOU. Hope giant plush toy is enjoying spring and fresh green grass.

Night night. Off to bed.

Hello lovely ones!

nihahi, stunning photos! So refreshing and beautiful. Do hope the health problems your DS is having will improve somehow. It's always hard to see them go through such trials...as we as their parents seem to suffer right along w/them. Glad you and DD had a wonderful time together! xx

Edi, I adore Frank Sinatra, and Bing and... Don't think I want to analyze your dream, LOL, another time maybe, heehee. Nothing like a smart arse when ED gets good news, re: job...shame on him!!!! I would box his ears too! xx

liefie, so happy you are coming along so wonderfully! "model patient"! Here's a funny thing... I used to live in a renovated chicken coop! Loved it!!! It was perfect for me back then when I was single, early 20's. Dreams are quite extraordinary sometimes aren't they? I have always pondered their meanings, but just play around w/figuring them out! Keep healing nicely and don't overdo! xx

Dakota, again, DD is a gem...just like her mama! Mr. Right will show up one day when you least expect it!

Traii, hope you are rid of the sniffles etc. My surgery date is this coming Tuesday the 28th...ugh bmx. Trying not to fret, but I DO have my moments. Take care of yourself hon! xx

movie, agree w/nihahi...get on that plane and GO for it! Do your best to enjoy your trip, you deserve the break!xx

maria, here's hoping you are ok. IDK if I will be getting chemo yet, but I know it can't be an easy thing to go through. Try to be good to yourself and not worry about your hair. I know I would not want to go through that either, but it is an  se that apparently is unavoidable. ((hugs))

caitlin, hope your stomach settles down, and aches/pains take a break...as in; for good... and all your post chemo se's ease up! Thinking of you! xx

websister, Thinking of you!!! Will be keeping you in prayer! xx

luvmy, so good to hear from you! I love fresh eggs! Used to live on a farm, and took care of it w/family! Lots of work, but was an enjoyable learning experience, and very fulfilling! xx

iceburg, so good to hear from you too!!!! ((hugs)) to you! I am fairly new to my dx as well, so we can learn all this stuff together! These fabulous ladies are just what the Dr. ordered for us! So very thankful for them! We are here for you! xxx

jennie, scottiee, and anyone else I missed, thinking of you and prayers going out to you all! xoxox

Surgery coming Tuesday morning... Found out today, I 'may' not be able to get the reconstruction I was hoping for. May not be covered, which means a potential game plan on that. Not the bmx though... they have to go, I want this crap gone!!!! It's just, this close to the time, I 'really' need to know just exactly what I 'can' get in the future, and/or immediately. Will hopefully get to the bottom of that tomorrow. Sheesh...it's always something!

Good night ladies! Love to all...have a great day/evening! XX

Liefie, 4am and you are UP....you poor gorgeous thang!...oh my, no caffeine, no chocolate, now whats a girl to do...and at 4am in the morning, ummmm SLEEP....lol...10:30pm here and I'm watcin Mrs Browns Boys...too damn funny trying not to laugh too loud!!

Luckily Liefie, it's not all that hot here now....actually NOT at all....but having cut shorter is just one step closer to 'coming out' with my new hair. Is your avatar a current pic? My hair would be your length about your length there.

Hope you do fall back asleep....good sign yawning...lol  

Alive, BMX next week...thats the date they said I SHOULD of been having mine too.....that was over a month ago...I'm still waiting PATIENTLY until I know my date!! I have had the lumpectomy though (chickened out having the BMX right away...was just too much to deal with all at the one time, especially being diagnosed with a 2nd cancer in a 35year lifespan !!) I hope you can have the reconstruction sorted out tomorrow and hope it goes the way YOU want it to go .

Iceburg, sorry must of missed your post when I posted earlier. So glad you have activities that can keep your mind occupied this week with your sons graduation. Don't worry about not replying to each one of us individually. We are just happy you checked in so we know how you are doing. Take care and enjoy the graduation stuff planned.

Traii, sadly not sleeping yet, but will go try now. Yes, that photo was taken on Sunday afternoon after I came home from the hospital. I'm in my raw state there, no make-up, dirty hair etc. - lol! Just after that DH helped me to get my first good wash head to foot after surgery. Quite the challenge with those drains and steri strips that should not get wet, but we did it. It was heaven on earth to feel clean again after mostly lying in a bed for four days.

Dakota, enjoy your free time in Maine!

Nihahi, a concave haircut is the opposite of a convex (what is that?) haircut - LOLOLOLOL!

Enjoy the muffins - it sounds delectable!

Timmies will certainly get a visit from me tomorrow. This is torture . . .

Websister, thinking of you . . . Big Hugs!

Ok iceberg, this is who we ALL are.We are Warrior sisters who will kick BC's Ass. You will too. When things get too stressful we have a beautiful meadow where we go to collect our thoughts and rest.
It works beautifully.
I had a lumpectomy and was out in time for dinner  went in petrified and it was amazingly trouble free. You will be great. First step on your journey.Warrior sisters will surround you and BC bitch will be on her way to hell !!
Benny started us off and she is still out there fighting. She had her last Rad today I believe.
If DH finding it all a bit much, don't know if I have posted about this but here goes. Breast Cancer Husband by Marc Silver.
available via Amazon. It gave my hubby all the information he needed and all that would be happening to me in easy to understand terms.
He is not a reader of books but could not put it down and changed from doom and gloom to helping me more as he understood what was next.
Don't even think about personal messages, it is enough that you come on here and we love you for it.
Hope Graduation is wonderful, will take your mind off things.
Good advice from our lovely Liefie re clothes etc.
Take care (((HUGS))) xx

Traii, want to just hug DS he is so wise. Unlike most men knows what to say lol.
Can't believe almost no wig time, will miss mine as bloody freezing without it.
Hope surgery news soon. xx

Alive, don't even try and analyse my stupid dream. I just pray it never comes true lol.
Surgery will remove the BC bxxxh and consign her to the incinerator where she belongs.
Rest and recover, new boobs will happen somehow I am sure.
Chemo not the best of experiences but means to an end. Can't believe mine is at an end, time has flown by.xx

Liefie, lovely that you and DD having lots of girly time.
Post op insomnia bit sxxxxy but no caffeine and choc really poo.
Timmies won't know what hit them lol xx

Nihahi, can't believe they stopped all DD's treatment at 16, that is bad.
LOVE the decent sleeps too, makes a hell of a difference.
I can only keep up with you gab a lots by using my pad to keep track of as much as possible.
Bike ???? jeepers you are one scarey lady post Diep, big cyber hug xx

Movie you and liefie get together will have to get skpe back on here for that one. xx

Maria, hope went ok today xx

Caitlin, hope se's gone xx

Websister, always in my heart and prayers xx

Luvmy. what a relief that you still ok. Goats and bread also didn't know they ate it.xx

Dinner time here and DH looking like he is going to fade away. Love to all xx

Oh my goodness Benny! What a wonderful surprise! SOOOOOO HAPPY to hear from you at last! You sound so well too. Almost done rads - Benny, you did it, you really did! Sleep all you want, because sleeping is healing. This thing is in your rearview mirror now, and it can only get better from here! Love it that you're back! How is Diamond? And Benny?

Nihahi..lol...concave short back longer side bits!!

Hey it was snowing up at the mountains here too. Got to -3degrees overnight and 4 degrees in my town. Was chilly chilly taking ds to kindy this morning!!

This is our winter...arent you suppose to be spring or summer there??



Liefie glad you having a little nap. As for your hair it looks gorgeous. So glad you were able to have a 'proper' wash..lol. Im dreading the drains too...one was enough with lumpectomy for me!!! But 2!! And im a tummy sleeper ;(



Benny good to 'hear' from you. Glad rads almost done. See you did it girl...congrats



Cyber mommy....mrs browns boys had me in tears yesterday. 'she' was having a discussion with 2 priests....her ds phone goes off on vibrate....well we know where 'she' had it sitting.....down below...well was a major crack up...will leave rest up to your imagination!!! Lol



well off to pay bills...pick mum up then girls retail therapy time...ahhhhh



take care chickies...love to all xx

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for the Warrior sisters, Carla posts some fantastic things. xx

Hey.....Benny posted!!!! So good to hear from her, and while reading her post, I was thinking she sounds stronger and defo in a better "place" than when we last heard from her. Benny....get that blinkin computer sorted out....we've missed you!!!!!

Maria...glad you liked the muffins. You certainly are hanging on to the "let's just do this so I can get on with things" attitude...you're awesome. Hope the se's stay minimal for you this time. 

Websister....finally Friday is here. Thinking of you big time today. Bet your son was a real "stunner" in his grad suit.

Traii....weather update...rain is tapering off for us, but significant snow/rain in the high country means now we have flood warnings for the rivers around here. Snow yesterday got within 10 minute drive of us, and I can see fresh snow on the mountains this morning. Never a dull moment....and...yes....this is our spring!

Caitlin....feeling better?????

Alive and Iceburg....thinking of you.

Dakota...enjoy the long weekend! 

Movie....flying towards the "land of the rising sun".....gosh, have an incredibly, fantastic time!!!!!

Have a great day everyone.

Liefie....have a good day with daughter, and a lovely drive down to Victoria. It will be glorious getting rid of that last drain!!!! And of course......coffeeeeeeee! Yippee! I had months of having to sleep (hah....not!) on my back only, because of shoulder and alien issues, so didn't find it that different for the Diep recovery. I can now roll over onto my non-diep side without issues, but the first time I did so.....yowzer!!!! Must have pulled on or tore an internal suture on the tummy incision. I learned to roll verryyyy carefully after that! Could you please send some sunshine our way???? So much rain here yesterday, I couldn't play outside, so I spent some time in the condo gym. For you.....walk walk walk walk walk!!!!!

Oh, Liefie....you have me nailed to a T! Yup....I am defo an "outside in just about anything is better that inside" kind of girl. Even more so, now that I have had too many moments (shoulders, alien, diep) of realizing what it's like to not be physically able to do what I want!!!!!! Anyhoo.....time to get busy. ((((X))))

Hello Sisters,

liefie- so glad you got more sleep. Yea for getting out your last drain, I thought they were the worst part of surgery.

Edi-  what a great picture of your girls. They are both so lovely

Websis- Saying prayers for great test results.

Nahiha- I will try to send you some sun, it has been really sunny here this week.

 Liefie- I am having 4 Adriamycin, 4 cytoxan and 4 taxol. then two months of radiation. I got to say it was liberating not having to do my hair this morning. Had my neulasta shot this morning now I' starting to feel a bit yucky. Think it is time for a nap.

Love to you all.