December 2009 Rads Group

I just finished 3 weeks of Araxane. Feeling a little weak. My hair is falling out by the handfuls. Right now I just want to curl up and sleep for 3 days.

Hugs to all.

Hey Valerie how are you doing? I haven't heard from any of you in a while, Jewly, Bonnie? anyone????

Wow Jewly that is some more story/life changes you have been going through.  I am so very sorry for you, it's hard at any stage in life, but even harder when you have already been through so much.  Hope your Ex realizes what he truly had and some day will wake up.  He will never be happy cheating with another cheater.  She has a 3yr old and my bet would be she isn't leaving him anytime soon.  As for forgiving and working things out believe it or not I have friends that were in similar situations and have seperated and eventually went to counseling and worked things out and stayed together.  But it was a long tough road and took them a lot of soul searching.  If your heart isn't in it then you can't do it.  My hubby and I have been married for almost 25 yrs. I have always told him if he found something he thought was better not to stick around, but not to let the door hit him in the butt on the way out.  LOL!! So far he has chosen to stay. 

I hate that you are on blood thinners (Coumadin? is that what you're on?).  It's so hard to control the PT/INR's, simply explaine... how thick or thin your blood gets on this med.  I hope they don't keep you on it indefinitely.  I would definitely protest if they wanted to (if you are taking Coumadin/Warfarin) keep you on it.  Usually you only have to stay on it if you have like A-fib or something of that nature.  Short term clots especially potentially caused from another med shouldn't be a reason to stay on it.  O.k.  that's my nursing lecture for today.  LOL!!  Keep me posted on how your US goes for DVT recheck. 

As for me I missed making an appt. with my breast surgeon for my yearly follow up.  No biggy!! I also have not seen my Rad Onco in over a year now! I was suppose to have gone back in July, had to cancel and never rescheduled.  Frankly I never saw the point in having to keep seeing all of these drs!! I see my Med Onco twice a year, my plastic surgeon now yearly. I also haven't seen my Primary doc in over a year.  LOL can't stand her and really think I'm going to change docs.  I'll know more on Feb. 4th.  Going to ask this dr I am seeing for wt. loss if he will become my Primary.  He is a regular med dr that has a side practice for wt. loss in the same office.  Seriously!! why should we keep going to 5 or 6 different docs for the same thing BC each year? it's them sucking us dry of money and doing the same tests.  O.k. complaints over. 

No problem Jewly... anytime!

Will tell more on private email.....

What doesn't kill you makes you stonger....This girl has no idea of the favor she did me to expose me to my husband's true colors... He changed into someone that I have no respect for, it's like my husband died....Because who he is today is no where near the guy I once married, I knew something was up for months, he became a very mean person ever since they started seeing each other in Jan 2012, when I would question some of the gut feelings and findings that made no sense for months, all I got was lies and more lies and he would insult me with "Jewly I would never", like I how dare I think that of his character....It was just the shock of my life when in a million years I would never expect to be one of the women on this site that not only have the medical challenges (breast cancer. DVT and the Scares continue) he was still saying "we can fix this", I said "not in a million years"....Somehow, I have gotten through the most over-whelming of days of Doctors, results, Attorney and all that goes along with Divorce, and so many home issues, I am surprising myself with all that has been thrown at me...At my lowest point while going through the mold in my house and having to gut living room, bath room, I was so mad that I actually called Chere at work and told her that if she thought that this affair was only going to effect my side of life, that someday it will effect her family, I was so shocked when the only thing she said to me was "YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I AM CAPABLE OF!!!!...WOW, can't believe all I have been through all that I have and that's the only thing she had to say to me after carrying on with my also no conscience husband, I guess they really deserve each other......Thank God, I have good friends that have been there for me....And you guys, thanks for being there also...Jewly

Sorry Renee, it's always something anymore, I, like you are wishing for better days.....Where is the communication in marriage anymore?..Why couldn't he tell you and let you take control again, instead of ignoring the problem like it will go away on it's on or something...I am in no hurry to have a serious relationship, I know no one that I envy as far as thier husbands, boyfriends etc....I have good friends and for now that is all I want and simply all I can handle.......That was nice of your brother, but you are right, your husband should have found a way to fix that mess...

I know for a fact that my husband Alan would still be lying to me if I had not found that trac-phone (that had solid evidence of his affair with a Chere since at least Jan 2012 (works with him at PWR in Jupiter) she's about half his age but can have him, he is now someone that I never thought he would be, she's married so I imagine they are still sneaking around), he thought he was smart enough to live in two worlds, this guy continued to give me gut-wrenching "I Love You" cards every Friday for 16 years ( over 800 cards) up until two days before I found this phone and told him to leave!!....His timing was horrendous, there is so much or should I say everything was left for me to handle...We have had a problem with a leaky skylight for years and for years he ignored getting to the root of the problem, he only wanted to start new projects and not take care of the major house problems...I had some of my friends and my sister and her husband try to help me find the water source that was coming into my living room, well they started tearing out the wall and now my whole back wall in my living room is ripped out and a ton of mold that probably has been there for years is behind it....I called my husband and sent him photos, since he is living in an apartment in Stuart now (he doesn't have any problems because he has a landlord) he could do most of this work himself, but now I will have to hire someone, may have to tear out the whole back bathroom to make sure all the hidden mold is gone.... I have to have my roof replaced like real soon, my insurance company Citizens pushed my policy over to some company called Florida Peninsula and they may or may not keep me come renewal in November, I was already told that I have to put the new roof on so I need to do that before I put back up the inside walls so I will be asured that I have no leaks....It has been one thing after another.....What happened to my so-called-life???..........I dream of those boring days where I had no pressure of medical problems, medical bills, Divorce Attorney filings and bills, so much paperwork done wrong time and time again trying to get through this settlement, my house is falling apart.....

Oh and did I mention my Oncologist wants me to go to see a friend of his at the Mayo Clinic in Jacksonville because I was lucky enough to test positive for two Blood Clotting genes.....Factor V Van Lieden and something called Lupus Anti-coagulant .....He said he had patients that had one or the other but never that had tested for both...I guess this specialist will give me an idea of how long I have to stay on these Blood thinners I have been on since Sept when I had the DVT ....If you ever want to call me just private email me.....Hope we all get our lives back on track, no one realizes just how much a medical problem can do to our lives... Jewly

Hi Valerie, I've been thinking of you and wondering how you are doing. I hope you're doing okay.

Bonnie

Aww Valerie, I was hoping things were better for you.  Hugs!

Hey Bonnie so good to hear from you too

I had an X-ray of my lungs yesterday to see if the pneumonia is gone. I hope so. The Alloderm is finally gone but the smell lingers. There is no infection. It could be a yeast infection. If its not one thing its another. Everyone take care!

Hugs

Val, Glad you are getting better....I sure can relate ...if it's not one thing ....it's another (2009 Breast Cancer, 100's of tests, radiation, stress of the thought of cancer return, 2012 DVT emergency room) now on coumadin rest of life, Docs, Docs and more Docs, meantime my so-called respectable husband's  Alan secret life, Attorney,  divorce, 6 months of continual filing, mold in house, have to gut liv room and bath, you name it!!!!........Thanks Renee, things are looking up, after having to gut my living room and a bath because of mold, finally seeing really new and better than before results...I believe the Coumadin takes my appetite away, I eat good, but have lost at least 20 lbs since Sept when DVT complication....The up side is I had to buy a whole new wardrobe, wonderful colorful stuff...Good going on getting that Day shift!!!

I have only seen my Alan once since Sept 2012 (asked him to leave the same day I discovered the truth) (he now lives in Port Salerno), he is afraid to come here, says he is so shameful, feels so guilty and that he just went crazy...He even wanted someone else to come get some of his stuff , I said NO, he needs to grow a backbone, as he should of when his affair started in at least Jan 2012 (instead of lying continually, telling me that I was crazy to think such things of him) until I found that Trac phone with over 300 hours of calls, messages and texts on it between the two of them (I still have it), that's when he admittted to his sick affair, I think it possibly started earlier, his guilt I believe only comes from getting caught!!!....Speaking of crazy, my therapist kicked me out, said I was doing great and did not need her anymore....Mind you it has been a very very very very very hard task, everything was thrown at me, but I just keep on handeling all of it!!!! I am a survivor, as we all strive to be........Good luck to all, Jewly

Wow, Valerie, you have sure had a tough time. I'm so glad that you're having moments of feeling like you again.  Thank goodness the infection is gone. Thanks for letting us know.

Rene, glad your job is working out and you got your day shift. Whew! 

I'm doing very well. Have been exercising and in the last year have started backpacking and skiing! A friend from work was diagnosed with Stage 2 cancer and they found it in both breasts. Poor thing had to do chemo prior to surgery, then a second surgery. She starts radiation soon - both breasts at the same time. Ugh. But I have been able to share my experiences with her and it feels good to be able to help. So there is some good from all of that. Actually, my current health-consciousness is kind of result of the cancer and the back surgery, so that's also good. So I'm feeling grateful. aww...

Good to hear from you and let's keep staying in touch.

Bonnie

Thanks all for the support, thank goodness I have a strong support group of friends here in Merritt Island...Bonnie, yes I wonder about mold and chemicals in food, etc...We just never know....

My so-called husband knew about the smell and dampness behind the wall unit, but he had been in La La land for many years and lost interest in improving this house..I have done wonders in the last 6 months, it looks better than ever...My ex was here on Sunday to collect some of his belongings (1st time I had seen him in about 7 months) he doesn't even look the same, something is very different as to the way I see him now, I felt nothing for this guy he has turned into, it was wierd, I could not even feel sorry for him with his breakdowns that day (maybe just a show, I don't know), I am told he only acts that way around me and that he acts fine at work etc....He says he is so so sorry, but he never tried to end this before he got caught (just kept on stabbing me in the back for at least 10 months, probably more)... He told me it was the biggest regret of his life!.......I wished him well when he left, like I said, it was wierd, I do not know this person, my husband died...I don't know what's going to happen when his company in Jupiter/West Palm gets taken over in June, I guess he and Chere will keep thier jobs, I really don't know if they are still together, all I know is my husband did not make it through his mid-life crisis.

Veggy, I hope you get great results from your recent x-ray....Everyone sounds good, keep up the good work...

I am right here at Port Canaveral if any of you ever want to get together for a Cruise, I am going on one at the end of July...I need it and I am up for new adventures, always thought that my future was pretty spelled out, but as we all know, we or anyone else do not know when thier life will change in a moment....Here's hoping all those changes from now on will be positive ones.....Jewly

Valerie please let us know how the scan comes back... praying for a clean scan and a vacation

Yeah Valerie... Happy Dance, Happy Dance, Happy dance!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You go girl!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!