Fuzzy's Romp Room

Ok ladies, I'm here shakey and bouncing off walls again - And listening to techno music on top of it. My son calls it programming music and funny enough - it works. Me, GMA, listening to TECHNO? Who would have guessed.   Pray my mind can settle and work - have alot of work to do this morning... I do see the Sleep Doc on Friday but until them I am taking my Nuvigil and Tamoxifen as they wanted me to do.  Also, yesterday I cut out my caffiene to see if that helps and I now have a caffiene withdrawl headache.. LOL if its not one thing its another HUH Dogeyed, You know what I am saying for sure!  Anyway, got to get back to my press releases Love you all!  

I call this one - "A Hint of Sun".. Still ones from that thunderstorm - it was a good shoot for Oregon. Didn't catch the lightening though..

Good Morning World! - God let me have another day, I'm going to use this day for HIS Glory!!

Its hard to stay that determined, isn't it? I Know for me with the shakes every morning and bouncing off walls - the emotions are getting me down.  Have to get to work, I have an eye doc appt early and have to take off work early and PT after lunch. Love you Gals!!!

"Sunny Trees" - still a after the thunderstorm Pic.

Lovely, lovely pictures, FOLEY.  You have a good eye for such thinggs that soothe the soul.  How I wish your Sleep Doc will respond to your woes, you MUST tell him how wrenching this whole sleep crap has been to you, and if anybody knows how to sleep, boy is it the Sleep Doc, to be sure.  Keep in mind, as you drop down into the depths of dispair, that it's the medicines, it's the medicines, this is NOT a permanent state, you WILL come out of it because you are determined to get some relief.  I will pray every day, several times, that the Sleep Doc help you out.  This is getting ALL out of hand.

And yes, FOLEY, I know precisely what you're going thru.  It's one of the toughest things I've had to do, night after night of no sleep, poor sleep, lousy sleep, a general nightmare of no nightmares.  Dear one, I CARE.  ALL OF US HERE CARE.  We want you better so bad.  I know the Good Shepherd will step in and lead you into the light, where you can laugh and play like all the other kids.  Love to you and my sisters always, Gail

GMA - needed a nice relaxing picture of scenery after this morning's ordeal. If you go to the ST*UP thread you'll understand why. All I'll say is that I have the best oncologist. She goes beyond caring.

Here's a question for you - We still are trying to figure out, after 10 years - what the hell is this tree?  Last guess is a currant???

It has little red berries??? 

Yay Esther!!! I sure hope you are sleeping now.

Veggy you sound like you are keeping a good attitude. That is so important, so I'm really glad about that. I am sorry about the neuropathy and chemo-brain and other side effects that you have to put up with, but I am proud of you for putting up with them with your spirit high.

Wren, something you said back there a ways cracked me up but I have forgotten it at this point. Anyway, I liked whatever it was you said and enjoyed laughing at it.

Granny Dukes it was good to see you post too! Hi there!

I guess you got all this going, Gail. LOL. Well done girl! Hopefully I'm not jinxing myself here, but I am doing very well. I still get some anxiety attacks, but I think they are understandable since I signed with a realtor on the 8th to sell my house. I probably won't be able to get what I need to get for it, but the process has begun. After we have tried for a while or if we get a lower offer we can go to the bank and see if they will agree to a short sale. Since it is a credit union, that will not be as likely to happen as it would be with a large bank. And that's OK. If I cannot afford to move, I am fine with staying. I have thrown away and given away so much stuff. It's been amazing. Today I cut the grass, trimmed, edged, sweeped, and weeded a little. Then I took my computer apart. Then I took the computer desk apart (which was more difficult than I anticpated). I got it done in time to load the pieces in the car and take it to the dump. The desk was way too large for the living room, and I have to get the house staged for showing. Wow, what a difference! I'll take the computer and a few other things to mom's on Sunday. Then I have to work at throwing away and finding places to store kitchen stuff I don't use. I have to be able to put anything that is on my countertop into the kitchen cabinets. Nothing can be on any horizontal surfaces -- unless it is decorative. HAHAHAHA! This is totally against my nature. It has been a long struggle for me to not clutter horizontal surfaces, a struggle I have never won. So this will be interesting. It is so freeing to let go of stuff you hang onto just because you think you might need it or you will one day read it or you will one day organize it or fill in the blank. I'm starting to get good at it, too. So whether I stay or I go I will have so much more open space. I just wish I didn't have to have it ready for pictures next week, but that's OK. I can do it!!!!

I work (volunteer) at Red Cross in the morning, so I hope my pills kick in. I guess I'm a little wound up from the day I had today. They really like me at Red Cross, and they want me to stay a long time. If I move I will have to leave them, at least at that location, so part of me doesn't want to leave. I NEVER felt valued at the job I retired from. What a great feeling to be greeted and smiled at and told I do a great job! It's all the difference in the world.

FOLEY, by the time you read this, you will be a whole new person, perhaps in some pain from laying still so long, but awake and refreshed.  If not, you go right back to bed.  Praise be to God Almighty for reaching down and rocking your chair just enough for you to nod off to sleep, and if you didn't, you will next dose of that medicine.  And remember, as the doc said, if it doesn't work, you call her forthwith on Monday.  I'm so relieved for you!

DUNE, what a relief to hear from you again.  I have been SO missing you, wondering how you were, and am glad you got your house ready to go.  This staying with your Mom has turned out to be a happy circumstance.  Maybe LATER you will work things out with your brother, and if so, you won't believe what your dollar will buy you down in Georgia.  So, bank the rest, go on living as usual (maybe a tiny bit better), and go to their Red Cross.  If not, you're fine where you are, use the interest to try to live on and see how that works.

VEG, just another mention to you.  I am waiting for the day when you finally get done AGAIN with all these stoopid treatments.  I am proud of you, so proud.  You kept your innocence and goodness from before, and I know you will again.  Think of Job in the Old Testament.  He stood up to so many devastating losses, but never lost his faith, the one thing they could not take from him.  Always, GG

Last night was a magical night. For the first time in a looong time we sat together and watched a movie. There was no computers, phone calls or fighting. I found myself looking at my two sons an husband totally relaxed. There was no look of fear, no one looking sorry for mom. It was a precious moment for me.

GG I do think of Job and all  the hardships he endured. I have my faith and lean on it very strongly.

That's an amazing rose bush, FOLEY, I really envy you!  I'd like my entire property to be overrun with them thar things.  Hey, you didn't say how sleep went.  WE GOTS TO KNOW.  Even if it's bad, we need to know.  If it still didnt' settle out, call your doc, ask her what to do, she'll probably tell you to go to a half-pill.  And I hope you listened to me when I said don't take no revved-up stuff much after lunch.  But nevertheless and beyond all that garbage, at least you did sleep, even tho you woke up.  If I could email you some of the stuff I GOT, you'd be set. But even I GOT IN TROUBLE when they give me this medicine that revved me up and I didn't realize it.  So, maybe tonight will be the magic night, could be it takes awhile for that drug to take over.  On this pretty Mother's Day (in the South) i will pray a special prayer for you again, Missy GMAF (General Major over all Air Forces).

VEG, oh I know you is that other last sheep with the long tail in the Good Sheherd's flock, his lantern light just barely flickers on us'uns in the back.  You have a little color behind one ear and you makes a lots of noises.  SMILE.  I'm the smaller one on your right side, needing to be close to such as you, who knows who Job is and believes.  I believes we are all together for a reason, and I believe we will all fade away into our own lives one day, too, perhaps.  But I shall never forget the hopes my sisters have give to me, without nothin in return, just giving for giving's sake only.  Love, GG

Dogeyed, sleep isn't still up 5 x a night but now I walk into walls on the way to the bathroom; hungover in the morning; and dizzy throughout the day. Not sure which med is doing it or combination of both. But it is what it is.

Dizzy has to do with air, my dear one, FOLEY.  Turn up that air mask of yours, if you're still using it in the nighttime, and if not, then breathe in it very deeply for a few minutes directly after you wake up and are STILL IN THE BED.  And it's okay to run into walls, for this means you have slept quite deeply and thus it takes a while to open thy eyes in the bright light of morning.

FOLEY, in our home, I took to keeping my house dark in the mornings, and this was before I became sick with the cancer, when my back took a new twist and wrenched the lumbar and lumbosacral spines into the worst pain since my car accident.  It's after lunch, and still I feel the pain in my lower back, SO frustrating.  I am next to a bright window that looks into the garden, but soon I will retire to the darker part of our house where the TV is and REST, REST, REST.  The medicine I get is still not enough, despite having an upping of my doses of all my meds.  FOLEY, my pain medicine is the kindest to me, but my tranquilizers turn me into an idiot.  But the point I'm getting to is that ever since all this happened to me, all within the last ten years, I keep my curtains drawn, our house quite dark in the mornings and sometimes on into the afternoon, and I keep the temperature at the exact right temperature for ME, for cold nights and warm afternoons.  Sometimes I don't open a single curtain for the entire day.  Therefore, I recommend the same thing for you.  In the mornings, just keep it sleepy time for a luxurious waking up time, take things slowly, don't do anything that requires you to go quickly; if it means getting up ealier (you'll adjust by going to sleep earlier without even trying), then get up earlier so you'll have more time to kind of lumber and lurch around, and IT'S OKAY TO feel good about it, having such a quiet and uneventful lounging thing set up for yourself upon waking to a new day. 

Anytime, FOLEY, you feel dizzy, you stop right then, sit down, and breathe very, very deeply, blow it all out, all nice and slow, then breathe normally several times at least, then take another deep breathe-in, but not so much as it hurts, just below that, and breathe in air, think about your breathing very carefully, blow it out, ALL of it out, then breathe normally again until you get your wits about you, over and over, until you can stand up without feeling strange.  it's all about air.  If you have to, open the front door and stand in the morning breeze, let air blow through your whole body even if it's a freezing blow, and when you stand and feel the outdoors then look at YOUR VIEWS the way we look at them when you post them for us.  You live in a beautiful place, so often step outside and take it in. 

As for the part meds take, take most of your meds in the morning, with the exception of (a) your new sleeping meds, take them the way your doctor told you to, which takes a few days to get used to, and which you can take a little thru the day, and a whopper at night or however they were prescribed for you, (b) your tranqs (if any) you can take whenever you feel the slightest bit unnerved, anxious, or fearful, take smaller amounts of them thru the day, keep it coming on, particularly at night.  That's sleeping pills and tranqs at night.  The only other thing that's okay to add is a small amount of pain meds, if you use them, but otherwise try to take them throughout the day, especially when you hurt, but you can take a bit of them at bedtime.  If you don't have enough drugs, by golly ask for them and you will receive them.  The Good Shepherd is watching over you now, I know it, I believes it, and I have faith that is true on this.  The Lord God Almighty has put his hand on you until you finally get to where you need to be.

I will add a special prayer here, for ALL US WOMEN who visit this site or read this site or whatever you do with this site, and here it is:  Good Shepherd, please hear my prayer for my sisters and me, who suffer so, for cancer has diminished us no matter how hard we try.  We need Your help, Lord, all through our days and through the longest of long, long nights.  Please, especially for me and others who feel so much pain, pain that is greater than any emotion we can muster, give us the relief we should have.  I will be adding a new doc, and I hope that my sisters will follow suit on this issue if there is a need, and go to an additional doctor, for I am going to add a bone doctor, an orthopedist, to my neurologist doctor.  An orthopedist will know precisely how badly I hurt and how bad this is for my very life, but my neuro does not.  Bone pain is unbearable.  Should I get down too far, help me up, pick me up, take me to the doctor, for I cannot do it alone.  And lastly, keep us all safe and comfortable, guide us in helping ourselves, and may God have mercy on our souls.  Through the Good Shepherd to the Lord God Almighty, I pray these things, Amen.  GG

"Morning Reflections"

Lily, Are you angry with it for getting cancer? Is there anyone there you could talk to about how you feel? I agree it's no fun feeling this way for a year. (((((HUGS)))))

No, not upset. Just could feel how sad you feel. Wishing you bright moments in your day.