Just diagnosed

Jasra
Jasra Member Posts: 29
edited June 2014 in ILC (Invasive Lobular Carcinoma)

Hello Ladies,   I have been reading your posts and am overwhelmed at all the information available on this site.  Like all of you I'm sure I wish there was no need for it at all but here we are.  I'm not sure where my head is at, I was disagnosed last Monday so I still don't have many answers and I sure have a lot of questions.  I've read my pathology report a thousand times but it still doesn't seem like its written in English.  I did try and use the Breast Cancer Coach feature but for some reason when I pressed next nothing happed.  Good thing I'm not superstitious ;)  Is there another place that breaks down some of the terms for you?  Like CAM5.2, atypical ductal hyperplasia etc. I coulId go on and on here which doesnt seem fair. I did try google but got a lot more information that looks like its written in the same language. 

I'm waiting for my mri to be scheduled and then I meet with the surgeon a week after.  I have called in sick the last two days, I am feeling guilty about that and thinking about going back in tomorrow night, I'm not sleeping anyway.  How do you ladies stay focused at work?  Does it sometimes feel like you have to be strong for everyone else?  I think I'd love 5 minutes just to cry on my own.  Or maybe just scream in anger but that might scare the neighbours and they really are good people.

I don't know what to say to anybody and I don't know what I want to hear.  Just so sad.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2013

    I'm sorry Jasra, that you have to join us but you'll get plenty of support and community here...and you won't feel so alone.  I seemed to either be having an anxiety attack or a crying jag the first few days I was diagnosed, then I started using occasional xanax to get through the rough spots.  I am a university lecturer, and I found going to work was my way of not thinking about my dx for a few hours a day.  I looked at it as my haven, and was grateful for the demands that teaching asks of me.

    Just take this day by day, and eventually you'll see you are very much alive and will do everything you feel is right for you to stay that way for a long time.  One thing I might suggest is to avoid Dr. Google for a few days till you've got a plan down for whatever your treatment path is.  There's good info out there but so much of it is either hidden advertising, designed to scare us into purchasing, or really old stats that just bum us out. 

    You may find a thread on this discussion board that helps you interpret pathology, since so many women like you can't figure out what it's trying to tell us.  The main issues (I think) are stage, grade, lymph node status, type of bc and tumor size.  Once you know what those all are and what they mean to you and your tx plan, you'll feel more confident.

    Hugs,

    Claire in AZ

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  • mary625
    mary625 Member Posts: 1,056
    edited May 2013

    Dear Jasra:

    Very sorry you have to join us, but very anxious to help you in any way. I don't mind trying to help you with your path report, if you want to private message me or share it here. Also, I think there is a page on the main site of breastcancer.org that explains many common terms in the pathology report. The CAM you referenced above is not one of them.

    I remember how difficult it was to get my mind around the whole thing, not being able to sleep, and for me, really not being able to cry which might have been a step in the right direction! Please know that in many ways this period of time..the waiting for the MRI, etc...is probably the hardest until all becomes know.

    Best wishes!

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited May 2013

    Jasra, you can also post on the "just diagnosed" link.  This ILC discussion is sometimes rather quiet, I found, because there are less of us that are dx with ILC and so less of us check in to post responses at times.  The IDC and other BCers have lots of good information to share that can be used generally in any tx plan...and they are all just plain supportive, I've found, like we are.

    Thinking of you--

    Claire

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  • Jasra
    Jasra Member Posts: 29
    edited May 2013

    Thanks so much ladies, I will definately check out the other boards too.  I went in the chat room last night and spoke to some amazing women, it really helped a lot.  So much encouragement here, it is so reassuring.

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  • bikergirl
    bikergirl Member Posts: 112
    edited May 2013

    Hi Jasra-

    Do not feel guilty.  You need to take care of yourself.  I was diagnosed recently and am now recuperating from lumpectomy and sentinel node biopsy.  I sometimes want to just sit in a corner at work and don't want to talk to anybody.  Do what you need to so that you can relax and sleep well.  Keep your reserves up!!!  Know that you are not alone-we are all here for you.

    DX 4/2013 ILC, Stage 1

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