Sexually satisfying her after the Reconstruction

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seancapizi
seancapizi Member Posts: 3
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

I hope thisis the right board to ask these questions. My wife wife had stage 1 breast cancer and have since had a bilateral mastectomy. She kept me in the dark about what she was doing reconstruction wise and the other day I noticed that she has no nipples. So I have two questions here:

1. Does a woman still have sensation after reconstruction in the breast area? As a man, I am assuming that the nipples and surrounding area is the focal point if sensation for a woman. Is this correct? Is there something I should know regarding trying to satisfy her better. 

Of course I know ASKING her is always the best solution, but I was wondering if there were some other ideas and suggestions that anyone might have. Thanks in advanced for your help.

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  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited May 2013

    Most reconstructed breasts have no sensation and all of them tend to have nipples created afterwards.....but these also lack sensation........it seems you are both quite separate from each other at the moment, so maybe a talk about it all?  I will not allow anyone to see me naked.....

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited May 2013

    My reconstructed nipples and surrounding area has no sensation. The outer upper and lower areas have some. It really depends on the woman as some do get a little back but not in the reconstructed nipples.

    As far as satisfying her… you need to ask her. Women are really all different. Nipples and breasts are not our only erogenous zones.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited May 2013

    I want to make one correction to what Lilylady said. Nipple sparing mastectomies are now quite common if the location of ones tumor allows it. That being said, even sparing the natural nipple eliminates most sensation because all of the underlying tissue has been removed. Please speak with your wife and ask her about these things. I know you said she has kept you in the dark about her reconstruction but that would be a good place to start as she may feel uncomfortable with her "new" self. Your love and reassurance will go a long way toward enhancing all aspects of your relationship.

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  • seancapizi
    seancapizi Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2013

    Thank you all for your responses.  I know at some point I need to talk to her directly about this, but I know this will not be an easy conversation. 

    One person mentioned that " nipples & breasts are not the only erogenous zones" and you're right,  and when we start back again, I dont want to do anything differently. 

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  • pupmom
    pupmom Member Posts: 5,068
    edited May 2013

    I know this is a valid topic, but I am going to hide it. The discussion is just too graphic. I also have some misgivings.

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  • ali68
    ali68 Member Posts: 1,383
    edited May 2013

    I agree with too much detail. Sorry but not sure about this guy? I really hope i'm wrong but have alarm bells ringing in my head.

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  • exbrnxgrl
    exbrnxgrl Member Posts: 12,424
    edited May 2013

    Yes, the Internet makes it hard to read someone's intent. I guess I'll just assume the best until then.

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  • lago
    lago Member Posts: 17,186
    edited May 2013

    Thanks Mods for the edit.

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  • seancapizi
    seancapizi Member Posts: 3
    edited May 2013

    Sorry if I was too graphic. ...it certainly wasn't my intention to offend. Again I thank you for your help and suggestions.

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