Single and thinking about getting a double

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Single and thinking about getting a double
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  • geocachelinda
    geocachelinda Member Posts: 223
    edited March 2013

    I had a single mastectomy two years ago and really hate the uniboob look.  I hate wearing my prosthesis and find it hot and bulky in the summer.  I am considering getting the other breast removed.  I feel now it is just a useless and flabby appendage that could possible get cancer also.  I do have a large stomach however and wonder how odd that will look.  I know I can wear a bra with built in cups and look like I have something up there or get soft forms.  What are others experiences with this choice to make?

  • Stix
    Stix Member Posts: 723
    edited March 2013

    Hi

    I read your biography. I am sorry all of this has

    happened to you. Have you thought about reconstruction?

    Viktoria

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited March 2013

    I don't have the answer but i hate being lop sided and asymmetrical.......

  • sbelizabeth
    sbelizabeth Member Posts: 2,889
    edited March 2013

    I had a single last year and really wanted a double, but the plastic surgeon asked me to keep "righty" until my DIEP reconstruction.  I really hate being lopsided.  If I hadn't wanted to go the reconstruction route I would have asked my surgeon to take everything off and leave me a cleanly scraped chest.  

    I have NO problem having the "healthy" breast removed.  I had a normal mammo in June 2011 and discovered my cancer, and it was nasty stuff, in September 2011.  If big, bad breast cancer can sneak up on me that fast, I want every atom of breast tissue out of my body. 

  • geocachelinda
    geocachelinda Member Posts: 223
    edited July 2013

    I did go see a surgeon about reconstruction but the whole process was just too overwhelming for me.  I guess if I do get my uni boob removed I can buy one of those bras with the firm cups if I want to look like I have something on top!  Otherwise I will go without!

  • Stix
    Stix Member Posts: 723
    edited March 2013

    Gotcha.  It definitely can be overwhelming with reconstruction and choices and what physicians to pick. Do you have someone to go to the appointments with you?  Maybe see another reconst. surgeon and maybe it will be different this time. 

    Either way, you will make the best choice for yourself

    Viktoria1

  • crystalphm
    crystalphm Member Posts: 1,138
    edited March 2013

    I was in the same position, I really hated being a uni, in fact, I found myself annoyed at the remaining breast. Then I had a MRI 18 months later, 3 spots showed up and I opted to have the breast removed. I didn't realize how upsetting it all was to be a uni until I felt the freedom of being flat. BUT please remember I had reason to get it removed, I had the three spots...they were not cancer, but all precancer, so I would have had to have 3 lumpectomies anyway.

    But I do hear you about not liking the uni figure, it is a fashion problem for sure. And it plays with my head to see one breast there and one empty place...

  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited May 2013

    So glad to find this thread. Good to read your experience Crystalphm: it does sound very similar to where I am at the moment:  I have been uniboob-lopsided for three years now and was doing okay, but had dodgy mammogram last week and now waiting for onco appt 17/5. I would never have messed with a healthy breast and I don't believe in unnecessary extra surgery, and I had no interest in recon for that reason, but now do I wait for a recurrence, or can I call it a day and ask for a 2nd mastectomy, with "just thickening" if that's what it turns out to be? Am i right to think that at age 52, thickening is not normal? I know breasts do get lumpier as you get near to menopause, but of course that doesn't help me as I can't compare to the other side, it's gone. If anything, this clump does feel very like my cancer felt :( I don't want to be living on tenterhooks another twenty years, possibly having multiple small biopies and repeated scares. I'm sure they said last year there was nothing to show on the mammo, and now it's got this tangled area of white threads which the radiographer said looked like thickening: that's all I know so far. Will they think I'm wierd and unstable for not desparately wanting to save my one remaining breast? Properly flat seems so much simpler. Ladies you're my support group here, what would you do?

  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited May 2013

    Even when I thought I was stage ii on the left only, I was going to go for bilateral mastectomy. And then when I was diagnosed stage iv out the box, they both had to go. To me they're just boobs. If I had known my boobs were going to work on killing me, I would have gotten rid of them years ago. But how could I know.

  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited May 2013

    That's a good perspective Gritgirl: Thankyou. I feel so upheld and encouraged getting your reply so quick: here in the UK it's 3am and while I do have friends, nobody really wants me to call at 3am! And they mostly just think about bras and pretty and husbands, and I'm thinking anxiety and spread and survival; they mostly don't get it.

    Nothing's going to change much in the next fortnight anyhow, but if I have my thoughts sorted out before the appointment on 17th, if I can be a bit clearer what I want, I figure I have a better chance to get it. I want to live to see my grandchildren and collect my pension. And I don't want to waste months in hospital surgeries being messed around.

    I'm sorry to hear you're stage IV. Thanks so much for sharing.

  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited May 2013

    Hymil. It is a scary place. I had chemo first and then I spent many months convincing my oncologist to approve the mastectomy. Standard is no mastectomy on stage iv. Some research is being done now on mastectomy in stage iv. Idea is to cut tumor load. Whatever edge I can get. I call the fake boobs fits, as in fake tits. The benefit? The fake ones won't try to kill me. I have t shirt that says "Of course they're not real. The real ones tried to kill me." My view is if that tissue isn't part of keeping me alive and it could get cancer, out it goes.

  • Lily55
    Lily55 Member Posts: 3,534
    edited May 2013

    Hymil as someone who had lobular with symptoms like yours i think i would go for the double, i too HATE being lop sided and if anything showed in it i would have it removed

  • geocachelinda
    geocachelinda Member Posts: 223
    edited July 2013

    I saw the surgeon a couple weeks ago and she agrees with the mastectomy.  I still have to get an MRI and see the plastic surgeon first.  I am not getting reconstruction.  I really don't think I would be happy with the results and I can still either go flat or wear a bra with formed cups.  I can be any size I want!  :)

  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited May 2013

    So that's three ladies with experience in favour of "cut and run" and one surgeon (male) who likes breasts, against...  I think he lost :)

    And if i can get it (whatever it turns out to be) before it has a chance to start moving and not need axillary dissection, I can reduce the chance of more lymphoedema... point of persuasion, that.

    Will have to wait and see now, thanks for helping me think clearly, without the pressure of staging and stuff.

    GeocacheLinda that sounds good, pleased to hear you managed it. This guy doesn't seem to think normal ladies can live flat, so I need to seem to be reasonable (or find another surgeon...!)

  • jenjenl
    jenjenl Member Posts: 948
    edited May 2013

    You can get LE regardless if you have the axillary dissection or not.  Just having a MX in general can cause LE.  I had a UMX in 11/12 and I am having the other one removed 7/13.  I am BRCA1+ and TN.  I am not a big fan on any of the reconstruction options so going flat and then maybe next year or the next, once my body and mind heal, I will work towards reconstruction. 

  • Galsal
    Galsal Member Posts: 1,886
    edited May 2013

    Although a tumor was found in Left only, U/S and MRI found couple cysts in Righty and about six in Lefty which included the tumor.

    Being that mine was ILC and the propensity to hit the other side also, I chose BMX.  Final pathology showed it was a great decision.  I'd had biopsy on Righty nine years before that for benign condition.  While there was no other BC found there was activity in both.  Righty - ADH and PASH;  Lefty - ILC, ALH, ADH for all six found.

    BS said exactly what I felt - thankful I'd chosen BXM or I'd keep finding some thing to be biopsied along the way and eventually would have shown up with more BC some where down the road in life. 

    I'm thankful I went with the BS who felt ILC was an issue.  The NCI I got a second opinion from would not have touched Righty since no BC had showed yet.  Just an example of why more than one opinion is important.

    Blessings to you as you make your own tough and personal decision. 

  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited May 2013

    Yes, having developed mild LE on my first side does suggest I'm more at risk. I'm somwhat less physically active now than I was three years ago due to leaving work; and I'd like to say I've lost weight but sadly it's not true, apart from the 700g than went to the path lab. The prospect of going flat will be an incentive to work on that, since lots of ladies have commented how they noticed their bellies more once the boobs are gone. Guess it's like "Now I've had my baby, I can seee my feet again!"

    Galsal, I think you got it spot on here:

    BS said exactly what I felt - thankful I'd chosen BXM or I'd keep finding some thing to be biopsied along the way and eventually would have shown up with more BC some where down the road in life.

    Even if they tell me this lump is normal, I will probably never really believe them, it may as well go sooner as later.

  • Symcha
    Symcha Member Posts: 4
    edited May 2013

    I would hate to be lopsided. have you considered reconstruction?

    I just had my final implants put in last week and it is great. I feel like myself already. just a warning, the expanders are uncomfortable, and feel like a rock. But that is only something that lasted 3 + months.

    The implants are soft and having them so recently, the pain is only 5 % of what the extenders were and I am already looking forward to the nipple reconstruction and put all this nightmare in the past.

    We are so lucky to be in this generation. my grandmother went through what you are going through now. Use all that new wisdom that doctors now have. it is not like God's work, but very close. good luck to you

  • Momine
    Momine Member Posts: 7,859
    edited May 2013

    My experience was like Galsal's. I insisted on BMX, path found various pre-cancer junk in the "good" breast, including LCIS. When my surgeon went over the path report with me, I commented that the BMX was probably a good idea after all or else I would have been back within the year, and he just nodded.

    Being kicked into instant menopause with treatment and an AI on top has been difficult and has sometimes made me feel less female somehow, but the loss of the tits not at all. However, all of that is highly individual.

  • hymil
    hymil Member Posts: 826
    edited May 2013

    thumbs twiddling - who, me? of course i'm not anxious AAAAAAggg!!!

    Wooee, don't you just hate the waiting?!

    Symcha, No personally I wouldn't go for recon. For me it's decorative rather than functional surgery; a bra with falsies can do just as well and still have the option to be real and go flat. It's a lot of surgery for no extra benefit. and you do come out with scars... Now an ear cochear implant if I was deaf, I could go for that. But its each to her own, some don't seem to feel really female without bumps. One bump is just awkward in every way.

    I do have to marvel at women who go for simultaneous BMX but I couldn't manage with neither arm working properly, that's a real disability albeit hopefully temporary. Bumplessness is just a social embarrassment, no worse than zits or a train-track brace: I had all three conditions at once, at age 11-14, and the brace was by far the worst!

  • nigade
    nigade Member Posts: 6
    edited May 2013

    I just had BMX a month ago and because everything happened so fast, I chose to have immediate reconstruction started by having the expanders put in. I just did not know how I was going to feel. I did know that like gritgirl I felt like they were just boobs. I hate the reconstruction process. I am thinking about stopping/reversing it, but I am concerned that I may regret that decision later and would hate to go through this process all over again. But honestly, I don't think that will be an issue. Before the "filing-ups" stared, it was very freeing not having breasts anymore!

  • CrazyBC
    CrazyBC Member Posts: 18
    edited May 2013

    I had a single mastectomy in 2010 at dx. I asked the surgeon at that time about just doing double because the thought of being lopsided seemed uncomfortable. He discouraged me as did my husband..husband's thoughts were longer surgery, more risk for complications. So, I went with single and hated it for 2 years. I was not interested in reconstruction. I had the other breast removed a year ago and have felt much better physically...a "free " feeling. I feel awkward in my clothes...because it doesn't just seem flat..it looks concave. I have gone without anything until just recently after I watched a doctor( my child's) have trouble keeping his eyes off my chest while he was talking to me. I thought, "so it DOES look weird.". I found a yoga bra that has some soft cups behind a pocket and I filled in the cups with cotton balls. So 6th grade, right?! But I HATED my prosthesis when I had the uniboob and have not been able to make myself go back and get fitted for anything. Hot, heavy, uncomfortable. So...there ya go. I don't regret having both removed one bit. I'm much, MUCH more comfortable. I'm a mom of 3 girls and my goal is to be here for them and my husband as long as I can. They don't care whether or not I have breasts.

  • Erica3681
    Erica3681 Member Posts: 1,916
    edited May 2013

    CrazyBC, I totally agree that breast forms can be hot, heavy, uncomfortable. But there are ways to just have a little something there -- I often wear a camisole with pockets into which I put unweighted foam forms. Even if you looked closely, I doubt you could tell they're not real. And in any event, I think if there's just a little something there, it doesn't attract the kind of curious stares you described with your child's doctor. I too am flatter than flat without anything on and I don't like the way it makes me look in clothes. So, I opt for the most comfortable forms I can find. It's doable, but it does take some experimentation. After ten long years (dating from my first diagnosis), my hot flashes have finally mostly abated, so I'm more able to wear lightweight silicone forms when I really want to feel "huggable."

  • geocachelinda
    geocachelinda Member Posts: 223
    edited July 2013

    Hi ladies, I am one week out from getting my second mastectomy.  What a ride these last couple months have been.  I have been so spaced out, I never thought to post on here!  I went for my regular mammo and it came back with irregularities so they did an MRI and that wasn't clear so they did an ultrasound.  They concluded that I had a 2cm enlargement of a duct and they were pretty sure it was benign.  I decided to go through with the mastectomy anyway.  I have to say, it was much easier and less painful that my first, which involved a big lymph node disection.  I had very little pain and went home the following day with a drain.  I had my care at the VA and I have to say I am pretty disappointed because I recieved no follow up calls and no instructions even though I knew what to expect.  My drain incision became very red and had a clot in it near the opening in the tube.  I called and left a message but no one called me back.  I said screw this and clipped the suture and pulled the drain out myself!  I used sterile techniques and it came out fairly easily.  It was a really bizarre sensation.  Not painful, just creepy.  I know, I know, I shouldn't of done that.  I then put bacitracan on the wound and covered it.  It only drained a little and is now closing.  The only problem is that a large and tender lump remains around where the drain was in.  It was there before.  I'm worried it is infected still inside. 

  • geocachelinda
    geocachelinda Member Posts: 223
    edited July 2013

    CrazyBC I know how you feel with the uniboob.  I had that "look" for two years.  I am now flat and free!  I think if I find anyone staring I will just explain that I had a double mastectomy.  I saw they sell bras with firm cups and also a bra called a Coobie that has pads inside already.  I am going to order one of those, maybe a couple if I like it.  Something real pretty for a change!

  • LynnME
    LynnME Member Posts: 35
    edited July 2013

    Well, I have decided to get a PMx and the date is 8 Aug. The few friends I have told are mixed feeling. Some understand and some ask why as I am BRCA-. I am going to do it, don't really care what friends think. My husband does't mind, wants me to do what I think is best. Having been through this before with lefty, I know what I am getting into. Also, having this thread is truly helpful, looking forward to be free and flat.

  • LynnME
    LynnME Member Posts: 35
    edited August 2013

    Well, I had surgery last Thursday and it is going well. 26 staples and a drain. The drain is the what is causing some pain, but I am liking the look already. Has anyone else ever had trouble with the drain. It didn't bother me last time, but this time pain under arm and into back near shoulder blade on same side as Mx.

  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited March 2016

    Reviving this thread,,, any other uni-boobers out there who are tired of being lop-sided and thinking about having the other one off?

    My remaining breast is really giving me issues with trying to deal with my truncal LE,,, think it would be easier to manage if I was completely flat.

  • amygil81
    amygil81 Member Posts: 165
    edited March 2016

    Tough call glennie. Would removing your remaining breast really help with your LE? I can't say as I recall reading that anywhere. They've cut off enough of me for this damn disease, I'd really hate to lose my one breast. But I so hate my LE that I'd sure give that some thought if it could help. Mine is mostly in my arm and hand on my mastectomy side, so I doubt a prophy mast on the other side could help me much. I'd sure suggest a second opinion before going ahead on this one. Best to you.


  • glennie19
    glennie19 Member Posts: 6,398
    edited March 2016

    Amy: it's not that the MX would help the LE,,, just being totally flat would give me more and probably better options for compression where I need it. Having to figure out truncal compression around my remaining breast has been really challenging.

    So I thought I would just bump this thread up,, for those who may have done a prophy MX years after their original MX,, for any reason at all.

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