My sister will blame me if bc returns

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Racy
Racy Member Posts: 2,651
edited June 2014 in Life After Breast Cancer

Hi, I wasn't sure where to post this. My sister and I are close. She has said many times that her life would not be worthwhile without me, the implication being that if bc returns it will be my fault for not living a healthy enough lifestyle. I am doing the best I can (not overweight and eating healthily and a bit unhealthily). I want to live but am worried about my sister blaming me if I have a recurrence.



Any advice?

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  • chrissyb
    chrissyb Member Posts: 16,818
    edited April 2013

    Racy, if and I say IF it does return it is not your fault!  You have done all you can to be healthy, all the treatment that was prescribed a healthful lifestyle etc what more does she expect of you?  I'm afraid this is her problem to deal with not yours.  Dont worry about other peoples problems that's for them to deal with.

    Love n hugs.   Chrissy

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  • Jennt28
    Jennt28 Member Posts: 2,021
    edited April 2013

    Racy, today I...



    Took a vitamin D tablet

    Took a curcumin tablet

    Took 1/2 an aspirin

    Had two cups of coffee

    Included broccoli in my dinner

    Chose reduced fat milk over full fat milk

    And...

    Went for two walks



    All of those things have been shown to maybe reduce the odds of breast cancer coming back but for some of us that is not going to be enough. The cancer cells will be able to keep dividing no matter what we try and halt them with.



    We have no way of knowing if our personal cancer cells will keep dividing or not. We can only keep going and hoping that we will be amongst those that carry on and end up dying peacefully in our sleep at the age of 100 something.



    Only one thing is guaranteed - we will all one day be just a memory in time. No use tossing blame at anything except existence itself :-)



    Maybe you need to address this right up front with your sister? TELL her straight out that you are trying all your options to try and keep the cancer at bay, but if they don't work you want her to know now, and going forward, how much you care about her...



    Jenn

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  • barsco1963
    barsco1963 Member Posts: 2,119
    edited April 2013

    Racy - Your sister is obviously scared for you. However, none of us can be blamed for getting cancer. We do all we can to live well, eat right and do what the dr tells us. After that it is out of our control.

    Talk to your sister, live each day to the fullest and plan for your future. If your sister continues to "blame" you, remember that it is her problem to deal with - not yours.

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  • netty46
    netty46 Member Posts: 296
    edited April 2013

    Racy how's you enjoy life and not think of it coming back. :)

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