Starting Chemo April 2009

Amy--So glad to hear the good news.  I always feel that my post-op pain is always harder on the few days after because the anesthesia has worn off.  Let the recovery begin and please let others dote on you.  

Helen--Are you feeling stronger this week?  You may be able to hop, skip, and jump at your son's wedding!

Judy--Sending you prayers for patience and renewed energy as you take care of your husband and be supportive of his needs during this time.  Does it help if he wears ear protection to block out noises?  Just a thought.

I'm recovering from a weekend of cousins.  6 stayed at my house and 3 at a hotel.  We had a good time--this was because my cousin whom I haven't seen in 10 years wanted to come and see me.  So, he flew in from Taiwan, went to Houston to visit my parents and other relatives, and then drove up with the other cousins.  I had such a great time and they were all so helpful with the meals and clean up.  This weekend was something I really needed.  Tired, but extremely grateful and loved.

Welll it is noon and I am showered, dressed (semi) and at my desk.  Sorted thru 300 emails and feel a bit more caught up. I put some laundry in and my husband will help me hang it on the line, because I dont want to bend. I LOVE hanging my laundry out - I am a little obsessed. To me, using the dryer is like a personal failure! HAHA.

Anyway, not eating much, but feeling great, and sleeping well.  They told me which of the 4 abdominal incisions would hurt, and they are right. The one they showed me is the only one to hurt. But I am figuring out how to stand, sit, turn, bend, so that I don't use that side as much. Learning as I go.

I am SOOOO relieved it is over. I will not push myself too hard, or do too much, don't worry. But I can only lie in bed so much without starting to go a little nuts. (or as my mother would say "get a little nutsy") And I don't watch much tv.

So my daughters came on Sat/Sun, one each day, which was lovely and passed the time nicely. My husband said this morning "You look so much better, can i start being mean to you again now?" (He was teasing me.)  I am enduring this well and thank you all for supporting me through it.  

Helen - how about you?

And Judy - I read up a little bit about Bell's Palsy and the hearing sensitivity, and someone said that an ENT doc can be very helpful. Maybe you can ask for a referral for your husband to see one? People were saying how much the loud noises upset them - one of the women said her husband's laugh drove her crazy. It sounds very upsetting. It said that the nerve that muffles sound in our ear is what is not working properly and that is why things are so loud.  Sometimes I think our bodies are SUCH a miracle, the way everything works together, that it is amazing that we ALL are not having things wrong with us all the time - such a delicate balance. But just maybe the ENT would have some helpful tips - the person who posted about it said it was quite helpful.

Love to all. Amy

Amy, lovely to hear from you and so happy that you are making good progress; but please take care and allow yourself to heal.

Helen, sounds like you are also progressing well and having the staples out is another step in the right direction.

So happy the 2 of you are healing as you should be and I hope that Florbo is having a manageable week too.

Thank you all for your love and support - we have been to an ENT - that was the first referral after the Family Doctor before the Neurologist. He says that it is normal to feel this discomfort; that earplugs can help, or just to stay away from loud noise. He can take painkillers for a bad headache if he wants to. He has a check up at the neurologist on Thursday, hope he can see the ENT again before that. He is finding all these doctors' appointments very draining, which of course I completely understand.

Again, thank you all for your support and so happy that you are on the road to recovery.

Big hugs to everyone, Judy x

Welcome back Geri! Glad you had a good vacation and also managed to do some wedding planning.

Thank you for your kind words - we are hopefully going back to the ENT later on today to see if he can help at all.

Amy, Helen and Florbo, hope you are all feeling well today.

Hugs to you all and I join you in prayers for those in Boston.

Judy x

Oh, Amy, I am so sorry to read about your ex husband and that you are all having such a hard time with it. I hope that he can get the help he needs so that he doesn't feel so desperate again. Life is so precious and it is so terribly sad that someone can reach the point where they just don't want it anymore. Sending you prayers and strength to get through these troublesome times.

Also, please take care of yourself. I hope the soreness eases up soon.

Helen, how are you feeling? Florbo, how has this week been?

Well, my husband went to the ENT yesterday and believe it or not, he was actually excited that the hearing was so sensitive and painful! Yes, you read right! He said that the pain means that the nerves are healing and actually doing something and yes, we have to be patient. He gave him some drops to help the pain. He wants to go back to work on Sunday, but I am worried that it will set him back. I suppose he needs to take the step and see what happens.

That's all for today, hugs to all, Judy x

Gradually getting better from the surgery. haven't had much time to think about myself, which frustrates my husband, b/c he feels I am being impeded in my healing by this family crisis.

It is still a very complicated situation with a lot of family upheaval. I still am having trouble absorbing the truth of it. But I am focusing above all, on supporting my daughters, who are struggling with the fact that their father truly tried to end his life and leave them forever.

Hi Ladies,

It's been a tough week for me.  It was mostly mental exhaustion--I just feel that this will never end.  And on top of that, I didn't realize that I get a CT everyday to check the position before I get the radiation.  Basically, I was freaking out that I'm going to beat breast cancer and then die from all the radiation and second round of chemo that I got.  I boohoo-ed so much during this week.  Anyway, I'm OK now.  Physically, just itchy and red.  I think I'm going to go try and talk to a counselor.

Judy--that's good news from the ENT regarding your husband's hearing!  Hang in there.  Please let him know that we are cheering for him on this side of the pond.

Amy--I'm so sorry that your ex-husband's situation is not good.  I hope that you can continue to be of great support to your daughters.  Please take care of yourself as you are still healing.

Helen--I hope that you are getting stronger and more energetic each day.

Alaina--Gosh, I can't believe 2 weeks wait then nothing?  Take a break from classes and use the summer to nurture yourself.

Geri--Your vacation sounded great and productive.

Amy, so sorry that your family is going through such a difficult time. I hope your ex gets the help he needs to deal with his pain. Please take care of yourself.



Judy, hope your husband starts feeling relief.



Florbo, hang in there. This will pass. We are all here supporting you.



Alaina, you deserve a break.



Geri, glad you had a good holiday.



My son is getting married on May 19. It is getting close. I'm so glad that I had the surgery and I know I'll be able to dance at his wedding.

Helen, so good to hear you talking about dancing at your son's wedding! It is good to hear that you are feeling better.

Betsy, so nice to hear from you. I didn't take Tamoxifen, so I cannot help you there...sorry. Glad that your energy levels are back. I still get tired, but can definitely do more than I could before. I get achey when I have overdone things physically. I also cannot multi task like I used to and forget things - all part of the new "normal" I suppose...

My husband went back to work finally yesterday; he came home with a massive headache, but was pleased he had got through the day. Thank you all for your support.

Amy, how are you doing today? Thinking about you.

Hugs to you all, Judy x

I'm on Arimidex. I'm probably older than those of you on Tamoxifen. Side effects are also very uncomfortable. I do take Vagifem....10 mg twice a week and it helps a lot. My gyn reassured me that it is totally safe. I think the oncs are now talking about keeping us on these drugs for more than 5 years now. I'm 100% ES+ so would be afraid to go off if onc recommends longer. I also have sleep, memory, fatigue issues along with achy joints, thinning hair....lots of stuff.

I am also on Arimidex 4 years in, and have had most of the side effects that Helen describes. Of all of them, joint pain and memory loss have been the worst...not unbearable, and in the scheme of things, not something I would opt to end early. I would be too concerned that I hadn't gotten the full effect, and I would rather hang in for the extra year. Would I do this for another five years? That I think they would have to really convince me of the benefit.

I just had my 6 month check up with the oncologist - he gave me a scare as he did the breast exam ( remember I have bilateral implants, so not much to examine). As he examined, he said "hmmm". Don't we all know the feeling a "hmmm" evokes? When he was finally done, he said "ok, you can get dressed now". I said, "just a minute, I need an immediate explanation for the hmmm." What he said was that he first thought the skin had a "dimpling...not good, but as he continued examining he realized it was a fold in the saline implant, and nothing to be concerned about. So, after about ten "are you certain"s, I left with an appointment for 8 months. Boy, one little "hmmm" can sure shake your world!

Yesterday I was supposed to go wedding gown shopping with my daughter, but she called crying in the morning that her grandmother (my ex's mother) passed away. Bless her soul, she would have been 96 in July, and was in a nursing home with absolutely no quality of life, so while I am sad she is gone, she really left us many years ago. My daughter and I will go to the funeral on Wednesday. Amy, when I read about your terrible situation with your ex and the effect it has on your children, it reminds me that I am very fortunate to have the relationship that I do, which has been very good and very respectful. I hope your troubled ex can be helped.

Wishing you all a good night.

Oh Judy that is so sad. Men (and some women too) really hate being limited and just think they can push through by sheer will. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it just can't be done. It is so hard to watch someone you love in pain or frustration and not be able to do anything to ease it. (believe me, I am getting a taste of that this week)

I REALLY rested yesterday and feel much much better today.  Tomorrow is the follow up with the surgeon.

Geri I am sorry for your family's loss. When the time comes for wedding dress shopping, it will be a joy for you. You know, I would have always said that OUR family had this good relationship too, post-divorce. I am extremely close with my brother/sister in laws, and mother in law. And even my ex and I are more than cordial, no animosity at all. He just started to deteriorate the past few years with loneliness and depression and it just spiraled out of control.  Very very sad. He may be discharged in the next few days, but will attend a daily program at the hospital for another week. A plan is coming into place and that is very reassuring.

Met with surgeon. She is very pleased with my progress, healing nicely. All biopsies done were benign. YAHOO!

Feeling much better yesterday and today. I am thinking in the next few weeks, I will be able to put this chapter behind me.

Family meeting for ex husband's discharge, run by the hospital staff. My daughters attended. It went ok. They will discharge tomorrow and he will attend day treatment for the following week. Family seemed mostly ok with that, although I think they are all nervous. This is going to take a long time...........

Have a good weekend everyone !

Hug to you all, Judy.

Thank you Betsy and I hope the appt goes well on Monday.

Hope you are all feeling ok today. Hugs to you all, Judy.