When do we get to not "have" cancer anymore?
Comments
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Catie, I am with you. Our loved ones no matter how close we are can't live the fear we live - it is important that my family believe I had cancer. If I am asked if I am cured I say I hope so.
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For me personally, I felt like I could say "had" when I was done with tx, mentally I'm not sure I truly believed it but I said it : ) I did chemo, BMX, rads and then ooph and it was after that I started using "had". My hair was growing back so I was coming out of that "cancer look" and I did a scan after my BMX & knew I was ok to say it. It's only words but it's amazing what that one little word will do for your spirit & strength!
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I did chemo, surgery, and radiation in that order. I say I was cancer free the day of my surgery!
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Everybody's posts seem to confirm what I think is more than a small factor -- I see family history (at least in my case) as more and more likely but as my onc says, it's a puzzle and a combination of many things. I don't blame myself though because as you say, you can be the most active & healthy diet, weight, etc. and BAM it hits us.
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At my last check (end of March) my onc declared me 'free from cancer'. The nurse echoed this and said 'you do not have cancer'. I was a bit surprised at this. I feel they cannot know for sure. They cannot find it, does not = it is not there. They couldn't find it 6 years ago (when I had a fibroadenoma and other lumps.) but I feel sure it was there. Just too small to be palpated/seen/scanned.
I didn't go from 0 to 6cm+ in 6 years! It was there for sure. So, I will never say 'cured', even if docs tell me I am.
I had 10+ years of feeling extremeley ill ('you, are not unwell') Eventually 30+ docs later I was dx with Coeliac disease (for which I was told by a medic, 'just eat more roughage inc wheat!!') I was hospitalised needing blood transfusions as a result.
This has been a sobering reality for me, that medics can/do not know everything. despite their claims.
NED is the best we can hope for (forever, if we are fortunate).
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For me it's when I'm dead. :-) For you, it's when you get scanned and the doctor says all clear.
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I would say "HAD"....after your surgery and the other treatments "HAD" seems to fit the bill.....My onc uses the term "NED" (no evidence of disease)....he's been a good friend of mine for several years and I hope to grow old with him.....Wishing you many years of celebrating....
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I guess it is up to all of us to decide to look at the glass as half full or half empty. If you want to stick with "no evidence of disease" then you are really in a negative holding pattern. Once you have had bronchitis you are more susceptible to getting it again, or if you have had pneumonia, or mononucleosis, all things that leave a person more susceptible down the road. I certainly don't hear them saying they still have (name the disease) just because there is no evidence of the disease. If I get to stage IV I will know this is chronic, but until then I am taking the high road and saying I am cured. It took a while for me to mentally feel healthy so I can't say exactly at what point I felt cured, but I now like to think I was cured the day my cancer was surgically removed. Chemo and radiation insured that I would remain that way. I had breast cancer and maybe I will get it again, but I don't have to plan on it. And personally I would rather focus on a much better plan...cancer free and cured.
Words have power so use them wisely...Just a thought
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I can't wait for the day that I'm dancing with NED. I will say cured after that.
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Denise, I can see CURE painted on your dining room wall. Thank you dear sister. {{{{{Denise}}}}} Sheila
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