Fuzzy's Romp Room

I think I am in a crisis and I don't care who sees this at this point.  Not sure if it is the new med or allergies or what.. The pollen count is high right now and I keep telling myself it is that.  Taking in consideration:my #s on my APAP are in the good range, but not sleeping well at night; trying to stay awake for my early work shift.  The doc put me on a new med but we started it at half the smallest dose you could find. I feel like I have a lump in the throat,  my torso feels like its going to explode but my O2 level is good, pulse is good(56-70). I have gained weight continuously wondering if that is lymph weight or water weight?  I have cut down caffiene and added more water to my diet. I just feel like I am a big balloon ready to burst, but no one else sees it. I fear if I go to my primary, it will be a useless visit, sleep doc will take me off the new med ( I just started feeling more awake during the day). I am just so freaked at the moment. Oh and at the moment DH doesn't understand what the fuss is about.. He seems to be overwhelmed with taxes and doesn't know what to say - He said today, he wanted me to say the hell with all the docs and experiment on what works and what doesn't.. how can you do that without the docs? I can't stop crying today... I know I probably make no sense but if anyone can figure out what I just said and help me look at it all objectively I would greatly appreciate it.

Chabba, How is your toe doing - been praying for you too!

FOLEY, from my personal experience, any big change in the way you feel is nearly always to do with medication.  Side effects can be little monsters, most definitely.  I would go off that drug ASAP, simply ring the physician and INSTRUCT HIM you are going off immediately because of your side effects.  If he says keep working with it, just say no, some other time.  If he says you have to go off slow, then go off slow.  Just cut 1/4 every few days, and then you'll be off in a week or two at most.  But hopefully the doc will let you go right off it.

There are other ways, FOLEY, of sleepping better at night and feeling more awake in the morning.  Now, if by APAP you're referring to the same codeine drug I take, I have noticed sometimes it will keep me a tad too awake late at night, so I take my last dose of it at dinner, and that way by bedtime, it's not pushing me as hard.  If you'll take it as soon as you get up, you'll be plenty awake.  Sleep aids, I like Melatonin, I'm sure you've heard it mentioned before, it's a natural type idea, the same chemical that causes the skin to darken in sunlight.  Works like a charm, no side effects, and you take it just as you're about to turn in, it'll help you sleep very well, and the codeine (if that's it) will wake you right up, or coffee, hey, a half cup in the morning will wake you up and yet not affect you later in the day.  One more thing, if you feel nervous, do some deep breathing, which is breathe in very deeply, hold it just a couple seconds, blow it all out, breathe normal a few times.  Then resume and repeat about five times.  It helps calm the nerves.

Also, I think it's important to reflect on just how much you've been thru since a year ago!  You are ALIVE.  I don't think it's any coincidence that today it's been one year since all this crazy routine started.  Someone else here posted about that very thing.  Just a thought.  Now me, I used to be the active person times ten.  Oh, I didn't do any whitewater rafting or hikig up Mt Everest, no.  But I stayed quite busy, to let go of all the natural energy I used to have.  In my 40s, I had a full-time career job, worked Saturdays to early afternoon cleaning up a vet's dog kennels and feeding the dogs, letting them out, charting their stuff, putting them up on an X-ray machine, and then two nights a week, I studied ju-jitsu, PLUS I had an exercise routine about four or five days a week.  TALK ABOUT BUSY.  And I didn't think twice about it.  But NOW, I have a VERY hard time keeping any energy with me at all.  It's been a huge change, and while I know exercise will help, it's just that if you feel like an old washrag, it's too hard.  But I keep thinking about it, if I can ever get my meds where they need to be.  But I have to assume you're not as wrecked up as me

See, I HAD to respond to you, because I've had 50 milions kinds over the years to treat all manner of things (car wreck, panic disorder, peripheral neuropathy), and I don't do particularly well with most of the drugs.  I know what side effects of meds are like, and you are a textbook case.  The ONLY other possibility is maybe any sleep apnea is being affected by your new drug, which is no good, you will be constantly tired.  So, if for some reason you have to get of your med slow, then put bunches of pillows behind your shoulders and head so you can sleep upright, will help with the breathing; which also ties in with your allergy, if you're super stuffed up right now, your sleep apnea is gonna be affected.  I'll bet if this is the case, a little oxygen mask wat bedtime ould help a lot, to keep positive pressure and extra oxygen into your lungs.  You can ask your sleep doc about that possibility, too. 

But I think just stopping the meds will help a bunch, as with the Melatonin and sitting more uprightin bed and more exercise, evening codeine no later than dinnertime, and first thing in the A.M. along with 1/2 cup coffee.  But once again, I have to emphasize, CHECK WITH THE DOC FIRST.  You HAVE to, just an emergency phone call ought to get some results.  If there's any delay, go to the ER.  They'll peg it pretty quickly, I should think. Or you can cut your pills down to small bits, and cut one bit, then later two, until you're off, combined with sleeping upright with a portion of a melatonin pill at night.

Hope this helps.  It's a combination of stuff, sort of could be one of maybe three things in there, so hope one fishes out to be the right thing to do.  Always, sister GG

Sorry dogeyed - APAP - is a Auto Pap - CPAP machine for Sleep Apnea. I have severe Obstructive apnea that without the machine I stop breathing over 53 times an hour so without the machine I wasn't getting oxygen. The drug is nuvigil - its to reset my cycle just started it and this all started before the med - Problem is I think it is the gabapentin and not being able to exercise because of the nerve pain in my breast. Saying that, the worry is, in the last month I've gained 10 lbs..  The LE in the trunk doesn't seem that bad at the moment - but I feel so swollen.. Could the build up of the gabapentin in my system cause the weight gain?? That is what I am thinking I'm up to 1800mg/day and been taking it for over a year now.  Or is the combination of other meds just doing it?  So here is the biggy question - which doc do I call?? pain management, primary (who panics and sends me through multiple tests), or sleep doc??? Not on a antidepressant - I can't tollerate most of them. They just tried me on cymbalta and I tingled all over, had tremors and then turned mean to the point my DH left the house and my dog left the room.  I am saying too much, but I need to think this out with you all.

Bless you, FOLEY, I am an idiot.  Or i-dot is how I like to say it.  I also used to say is-land for island when I was little.  But I am an i-dot.  Anyhoooo, I like all the previous posts for you for diff reasons.  Right now, I'm in the middle of changing my own medicines around.  My sleep is upside down, so here I am at 4:30am, writing to you, woke up around 6pm.  So, I knew the new drug was doing this.  I also resumed with my sesame seeds.  After enough reading, and thank you DREAMERS about the estrogen in sesame, i finally decided, after I quit the sesames, my depression came right back.  Ye gads.  So, I looked online like a maniac for hours, and came to the conclusion there is a list of foods that help block estrogen at the breast, but continues to allow it to flow thru the body, so I shall get at least a couple of those foods for eating fairly regular to offset the extra estrogen.  But the seasames are VERY good for other things too, including my now osteopenia stage of osteoporosis.  Now, as for my "new" drug, I still like it, so instead of two a day, I'm going to go down to one a day.  I'm also cutting waaaay back on my antidepressant Zoloft, becuz it doesn't mix well with my new drug.  In fact, my new drug will kill me quicker than the sesames.  Also have cut back on my valium, and a little on my pregabalin (Lyrica).

So, that gets me to you, FOLEY, and now I believe I understand.  I had responded in one of the 50-or-so paragraphs in my dissertation to you last time that COULD BE it is the breathing, particularly when LILY suggested using those scents to help open your breathing.  By the by, did you know you can get whatever physical thing, if any, out of there, so you can breathe better.  And I only know the oxygen machine by CPAP machine, and so when I saw APAP, that's an abbreviation for the tylenol-like med that goes into the codeine.  Sorry I don't know all the letters for your machine!   Anyhow, as far as the drug you take, I have also taken gabapentin (Neurontin), which is a cousin to my pregabalin (Lyrica) I mentioned before.  Neurontin messed up my tummy and I found it to be a "hard" drug, which by that I mean hard to live with.  But my insurance also covers Lyrica up to a point, so I can afford it.  And it seems I recall a talk where some people don't have insurance, etc.  So, I CAN tell you what it does for me sleeping. 

Gabapentin and pregabalin are good for nerve pain, overnight it made pain go away in my lower back that has fractured facet joint syndrome, plus a tailbone problem that runs in the family.  But it didn't catch all my pains.  Also, it actually does make me sleepy.  But really, practically all my drugs do!  My valium about puts me into a coma!  I don't think having sleep apnea is any help for you getting to sleep, with or without the oxg machine.  It's possible, by golly, they ought to give you something SPECIFICALLY to MAKE you sleep. 

On the other hand, if you're using your gabapentin to sleep and help pain, it does help sleep somewhat.  Again, I also liked LILY's suggestion on the scents that help open your airway when you go to bed, putting them under your pillow.  And I had said something to you about putting enough pillows to where you are laying more upright than normal.  You would not believe the pillows I have to drag around.  That's what I have to do when my weight climbs over a certain point.  I had to tilt my head back a little, too, to open the airway, like they instruct people to do when they're giving respirations to those who stop breathing.

I sort of think while the nuvigil is helping you feel more awake in the day, the key is (a) correcting the sleep apnea, which you are dealing with via the APAP machine, and hopefully you will do what LILY said on the scents opening your airway, plus the gabapentin will help sleep, and (b) getting a good sleep medicine perhaps, altho I don't know if that affects sleep anea in a negative way or not.  Now, as for not being able to exercise because of the pain in your breast, FOLEY, that sort of worries me.  But could be the gabapentin just isn't quite enough.  I myself had to add in the Tylenol-Codeine #3 at first, to get ALL my pain, especially for the neuropathy in my feet and hands.  I use it in the day, and usually after my second dose (one first thing up, then maybe 10am some more, etc.) I ain't feelin no pain!!!  I say that to my mother, she's in her 80s, and she actually "gets it" when I do that kinda drug talk.  She wishes she could have some type of meds and has asked her general family doc for something, but he won't let her.  Probably true, because until you've dealt with them for a while, it takes a couple goes at some fairly addictive stuff to get control over it.  Right now, I think I coulod throw away at least two of my meds with no loss.

The reason, FOLEY, that the pain in your breast worries me is, I've forgotten how come it still hurts.  If it's the lymphedema buildup, despite you thinking it's under control, could be that is indeed it.  You said you are sort of puffy and "swollen," I think was your word.  Could be almost anything, but basically being overweight is part of it OR the lymph nodes are being jammed up, making your boobs hurt, and swelling your body.  So, you gotta get a little better pain control, I do believe, or your breast cancer doc MUST inspect you, respond to your complaints of pain and swelling, and I just KNOW he will (a) take care of the pain with a painkiller, (b) take care of the swelling by advising you on what it might be.  I think you should go see your cancer doc in person.  And I also agree with LINDA, in that you need a good general doc who will watch over ALL your meds and is agreeable about what all you're taking together.  Sometimes meds combine and make you sick, sometimes particular meds don't agree with you (like the SSRIs), and so you need a PCP who knows all about everything on you, so you don't get in another jam on all this.

You need some peace.  I cannot believe you are still working.  Do check on the Social Security Disability website, they have a big section that lists all the things they DO give disability for, and sleep apnea may be one of them, or being under cancer treatment, just look and see.  If you apply for something not on the list, your chances are nil.  Can you maybe take a week off, after you talk to your cancer doc and get some health issues and meds sorted out and very good pain control (my doc gave me oxycodone, wonderful medicine, just one bottle, and I was FINE with getting off, despite the schedule number), arrange to take off a week and just live like a regular person.  Hopefully most of the blooms will be gone when you get in to see tha doc, or whatever doc you see, becuz breathing is VERY imortant.  I mean, when I got pneumonia, I literally could not breathe, it was around December, and they said had I not called the EMT, I would have died THAT DAY.  Talk about scary!  Well, once again, I've said too much, but I think anything we say just might be enough to get you straight, somewhere in all these mullings-over.  GG

I think we all need some comfort with all that is going on in the world - We all need to BREATHE

"Above the Clouds - Again"

Gma, you are not a wimp.  Dealing with pain alone can be exhausting and having sleep apnea on top of it does not help on bit.  You are strong!  I hope you will be able to get answers soon. ((((HUGS))))

Gma, just because someone else has worse pain does not mean your pain isn't valid and debilitating. My Mom used to try to convince me that certain foods were good because children were hungry in China  (said, I believe, about canned spinach - YUK). Chronic pain is also very depressing. It's hard to feel hopeful while gritting your teeth. Is there anyone local who specializes in or has training in lymphadema massage? (((HUGS)))

I can't go back to him unless BS says I can and he doesn't see it and both of them think I know enough to do it myself. I do but it is hard to do the MLD when you hurt.  My night garment came in, I just have to go have a fitting.

I know it is a sunset but good morning anyway.  I'm still in pain and the toradol just made me feel sick - can't get the spasm out of my lower shoulder blade. Amazingly I realized it makes my breast pain worse - Related???  

"Evening Sun"

Gma... Thank you so much for the beautiful photos! Nice to walk up to breath-taking Nature pix!

Gma... Now that did it! I'm thinking you had to leave your property to get those gorgeous photos but that's not the case. I am officially envious that you have those views from your home! Here I'm thinking I'm lucky I can kinda see mountains from my kitchen window if I lean just so, but not in the same category as you. Enjoy your spectacular scenery! What a breath-taking sight to wake up to!

Lord, please let the picture bring warmth, peace and a pain free moment to all. Amen..

"Our Forest"

Amen and wow.  Beautiful!  Nature is the one thing that tells me there is a God.

Amen.  And I did feel a wave of relief, like the breeze pushing the mist along the ridges.  And I wish it right back to you, dear one.  It's hard to think straight when you're in pain.  Ask your husband for any tips he has, to kind of get him involved in a massage or he could have some sort of leftover pain pills from whatever from whenever.  Bless you.  GG