Well meaning friends...........

Lilly55.....Dear sister...i think we have all felt this way at some point..i remember feeling this way..we have to do what is right for us and not feel pressured to do what others feel we need to do.  Well meaning friends cannot understand the emotions we go through when dx with this life changing time in our lives.   You have got to think of yourself and only do what you feel comfortable with even if this means distancing yourself from friends who make you feel uncomfortable. We are all here for you and understand, sometimes it is good to be alone relax and to feel safe in our home enviroment.   I can understand not sleeping is making you feel like having a break from hormonals side effects can be horrible.

Have you thought of perhaps trying a different one that may suit you better.

I think you need to just take care of you for now.   We all understand here and want to help, please let us support you and help you...Kazaxx

Lilly55, having a break from meds may help you, i think if you were able to get a few good nights sleep you would feel better in lots of ways...removing stress and taking care of you may help you relax and then sleep would come naturally. I am pleased you feel safe in your home enviroment, caring for you at this time is so important, have you tried relaxation such as yoga which you can do at home either from a book or DVD . one of the ladies suggested this to me i tried it and it did help....Kazaxx

@Lily55, the best phrase I know for the situation is "I don't want to talk about that" or (if you might be interested in talking about it later) "I don't want to talk about that now". You can add variations like "I just don't want to..." or "I really don't want to...", but you don't need to explain why you don't want to. I suspect that giving a reason would just prompt even more questions from such an insistent inquirer. Just keep giving the same response each time the friend asks, unless at some future time you do feel like talking to them.

I hope that helps, and that your holiday from meds helps you sleep and relieves the PTSD symptoms

Lily lack of sleep is an enemy to anyone for whatever reason. (and this is a good reason_ What cirve said is a good idea--u don't have to explain why u don't have a need to talk about u'r sleep, u'r meds or u'r health all u say is what curve suggested. That's all. And when u are ready u can explain (if u want) why. It's totally u'r time nw and somehow u need u'r rest/ And of course u'r not going to take anyone else's meds. So it's a No Thnk you.

Hi Lily,  Getting no sleep is a bummer for sure.  I think that knowing you might not sleep well can sabotage it from the get go.  Have you tried melatonin?

 Also, thousands of people go to yoga will all sorts of body issues that (given time) it will actually help.  If it is available to you (and you have the desire), I would suggest trying a class.  You can let the teacher know that you are having back problems.  A good teacher will ask if anyone has any body issues before class starts.  Some night classes are geared towards being "quiet" (a yin class for example), which could actually aid in sleep induction.  Yoga is good for quieting the mind, a skill you can take to bed with you.

I had a friend who was very instant on getting in touch with me after my diagnosis.  She kept calling my husband saying she just wanted to talk to me.  At that time, I felt the same way you did.  What I ended up doing was writing her a nice note.  I thanked her for her concern, let her know that I was ok, but just not in the right place to have a conversation.  I know that you have been seeing this friend, but perhaps a nicely worded note will let them know how you feel and they will back off when they realize how you really feel.  This is the time to be taking care of yourself in all ways.

Sorry to be so preachy.  Good-luck!!

Yes, I am sorry, I have certainly been there and felt the way you do...my pain was so bad from Anastrozole that I would wake up 5 to 6 times per night.  Horrible...

For the last 3 nights I took 3 Advil before bed.  I slept for 6 hours without waking up for 3 nights in a row!  What a difference - I feel great!  What a difference some uninterrupted sleep makes.

I can't be taken Advil every night, but I have to figure something out.  I have hope, I feel social, and I feel a little like my old self!  Wow - sleep rocks!  Sending a hug your way to figure it out for you!        Denise

Hi Lily, you are so welcome! I didn't want to make you cry!

You've had a rough time, and it isn't even 12 months yet. We all heal in our own time, and acceptance is so individual too. None of us go into this knowing how we will feel after surgery and treatment.  

I hope you can find that sub lingual melatonin. If your intuition is telling you it's for you, I'd be listening to that.

Another thing that may be worth a look is massage. I have Rheumatoid Arthritis, and my Rheumatologist is up to the minute in all new meds and treatments, but he is also a devotee of natural therapies. He got me into remedial massage about 16 years ago. It has made a significant difference  to my wellbeing. I can manage the pain levels much better, and a good massage can last almost two weeks before I can feel myself starting to seize up again.

A good massage therapist, using high grade aromatherapy oils may be able to help you with sleep too. I know I feel like I am walking on air after my regular massage, and I always sleep really well after it too....... Just a thought