I Want to Feel Normal

You are still early in the process and that is the key word, process. This whole journey is a process. Have faith that your husband will get through this, it just takes time. This will be a long journey and self doubt will jump in every now and then. It will take some time to get to a new normal for you and your husband.

If your husband truly loves you, he will love you with or without breasts. Talk to him and see how he really feels, maybe you are placing your feelings as his. Let him know how you are feeling.

Hang in there. (((Hugs)))

Dear Twirlygirl,

Don't know if you have seen photos of what breasts look like after DIEP surgery. I was privileged to have two friends who had that done recently, and both showed me their breasts afterwards. It looks and feels soft, warm and very natural once the swelling has gone down. I'm 100% convinced your DH will be absolutely thrilled with them, because they are as close to the real thing as you can get. Re feeling normal again, the new breasts will go a long way towards that. The tummy tuck that goes along with it will give you more reason to feel even more sexy, and to have your confidence back again.

You have to STOP the negative self-dialogue. Of course you are 'good enough' and attractive already! After the DIEP you will certainly feel more like your old self again, and in all probability you will be an even better version of that old self. But I'm going to talk straight here: You have to promise to stop smoking and drinking IMMEDIATELY TODAY. Don't throw your life away just when you have the chance to be so happy! You are self-destructing at the moment, and it is so totally unnecessary.Don't let feelings dictate to you; feelings are fickle. Do what you know is right in spite of how you feel. I bet you if you do that, you will feel better. DH will find you even more irresistible, and respect you for doing this. This man fell in love with the whole of you, body and spirit, the whole package, not just your breasts! By the way, smaller breasts can be just as sexy, and plastic surgeons can do wonders these days. Make your wishes known to him/her, and trust them, but be realistic too.

Start looking forward to June, to feeling normal again, and start doing what you know is healthy. Take charge of your situation, and refuse to have a victim mentality. See it as preparation for your surgery so you can have the best outcome. Exercise every day and eat healthy food. Then you can look forward to a speedy recovery without complications. Come on! You have so much to live for. You can do this! I'm getting DIEP surgery on May 21 - let's do this together!

I'm so sorry you are so sad, this whole thing just stinks, but I bet your husband loves you very much and needs to know how you feel. Please share these feelings with him. If it's to hard to speak the words, let him read this thread. There is hope, you won't look like this forever, and I'll just bet that you, not your breasts, are the reason your husband fell in love with you. He could have breasts on any woman, he married you. Hugs

My doctor would not do free flap microsurgery on a smoker - it constricts blood vessels and could result in a failed procedure. DIEP is an excellent way to get natural warmth & feel, my right is quite similar to the left (except for lymphedema).

For size, sometimes an implant can be added: cross that bridge when you come to it. One thing at a time. The other ladies above all have good advice. You will get through this and come out stronger.