Is our prognosis really poor?

I love you, Diana!!

Rachel

Hi family,

Diana I love your post. I'm one year out. I have a lopsided appearance because in Ireland prophylactic surgery is only considered in BRAC cases. I actually don't know if I was a stage III (a), (b) or (c) because when my surgeon gave me the DX he just said "stage III" followed immediately by "don't get hung up on the number". At that stage I was not very knowledgeable, who is? So I put myself down as a III(a) here, I always got A's at school! :-). I've had a scared week or two this month because my dear MIL died March 5th after a really brave 2 year fight with colon cancer. She was a truly great, lovely and feisty lady. But she was stage IV when diagnosed. Then a friend of mine 4.5 years out from stage III BC has been diagnosed with a recurrence, it's very bad. Ladies she is 39 (I'm 45) and she has 4 school age daughters. The youngest is 7 and in class with my own 7 year old. I'm going to call her Rose. I had never done anything but consider both Rose and myself totally cured. I don't know if this was naiive or optimistic. On the other side of the coin I have an aquaintance with a lady who is SIXTEEN YEARS out from stage III. All 3 of us had UMX, 3 positive nodes and an er+ cancer. If we were in a play we really would represent points on the spectrum of possibilities. The "Really Looks Like She's Cured", the "Don't Know Which Way It Will Go" and the "OMG". I had never read anything about the stats before hearing of Rose's bad news, and even when I went on the www I still had absolutely no idea they weren't what I would wish. You see my onco gave me a really rosy picture. Quoted some terrific stats for life after treatment. I see now he was giving me the aggregate stats for overall BC survival, from the stage 0 to stage III group, not the stage III group stats. I think he was right to do this, because it is always better to think positive and to present the patient with the most optimistic picture available. They don't have the gift of prophecy and if they give us the worst case scenario, it may not come to pass. Neither may the best case, but it's a helluva lot better looking. The reason I came accross this site was because I was on www googling about what has happened to Rose. Hubby is away in US because of his Mom's death, (we live in Ireland, I'm Irish, he's from NC) it's the 3rd time this year he's been away there, which is a great thing because he got to spend some really good time with his Mom, and helped her greatly in what turned out to be her final weeks, but I guess I'm also a bit low because of all the time without him (you don't fly 5,000 miles for a weekend trip, he is gone half the month each time), and I am in a state of grief over my darling MIL's death and Rose's news. I am seeing my onco April 15th. Quite glad it's so soon. I'm feeling like I should ask for the more relevent picture? He is the top guy in Ireland and a world expert on BC, on TV/Radio/Papers all the time so I don't doubt he has the research at his finger tips. He is truly passionate about what he does. He hates cancer too! Love you all! XXX

I really like cats... and your picture is so sweet!

Thought about your post... Maybe what we can extract from that is life usually brings about both happiness and sorrow for all of us. I don't want to make it sound as if we don't have any power over what comes to us but some of it we don't choose, some we don't have enough time or knowledge to change in time.

It's easier to get up, do what needs to be done, when this is not a one in a million situation, this is sort of normal. We all meet potential tragedy. This situation has not only been for the worst. Ive learned so much. I feel like I needed to learn these things to appreciate my life more. I wouldnt change with anybody or even with who I was.

I agree there are other ways I could have built character but maybe I would not have paid attention - BC got my attention. It sure isn't a path I would want to repeat but there were so many precious moments in the past two years that I treasure.  The bad days are fading with time and I focus on the sweet days.

Uh......I can't say I miss my boobs (I was large). To me, my flat chest reflects what I have been through. I don't flaunt it - but it doesn't bother me at all when people notice, and they do. My family and friends saw the sorrow and the triumphs to get to today and they are the ones that matter.

I think I learned to not wish away my days but to enjoy them - without boobs. I don't do foobs. I am flat and free. The discussion groups on BCO helped me make my decision. It works for me. It makes life easier in many ways. 

YesterdaIy's gone - I have no control over tomorrow - and today is a good day.

Best wishes to all. I don't post often but you are all great encouragement to me.

Hi LindaKR,

i tired alkaline diet strictly for 4 months and now i watch my diet but more flexible. It gives me energy and i think it is good diet.
As others i chose to not to believe on old data i have same feeling too.

yes i am also stage III but there is always hope and hope has to come from inside of you. I am hoping i will be around to see my kids graduate from college who are just 5 and 6 yrs now. One think i learn from cancer diagnosis is that have positive attitude that makes life easier and healthier. No matter who you are one day every one dies and so we.

Amen to that Momine and Lovujja.

some of those statistics are so old they have moldy hair on them   and most are so general they don't really apply to anyone ...

hang in there and go for the gusto

feelingfeli…,

What a positive attitude. Cheers! I like your attitude and i think same way too. Bless you many many healthy and happy years.

Yes Jenni that WAS you! XX

Dearest Ladies, Please allow me to jump in. I was dxed 8 years ago ( in 2 weeks) with stage IIIC HER2 pos BC. Load os nodes, and really poor prognosticators. Blah, blah blah... My Path report freaked me out ( and I am a nurse!) and I  had to stop googling the stats as I was giving myself a heart attack. The reality is there is a wealth of outdated crap out there and alot of " subjective.. meaning, incorrect formulas for chances of recurrence. I learned the "poor prognosis" is a tool that the ONC use for giving agressive tx to these patients.

Anyway, I have seen loads of women with much lower bc stages recur and stage III girls do great and  move way beyond BC! I do know that the further you are " out" the fear of it coming back lessens.   I am back to pretty much me these days. But I eat better and exercise more. So that's good.

I wish you all less fear and anxiety and much happiness and good health.

They did a study on people who lived beyond 90. About 50% skimmed through life pretty healthily. The other 50% survived major illnesses, including cancer. While stage 3 is high risk, it doesn't mean all risk because every one of us has risk...stage 0 to stage 4....of leaving the earth prematurely and not necessarily with cancer. We can also live much longer than anticipated as well. But, all any of us really have is today. My friend's daughter died at 24 from breast cancer; another friend's daughter died at 20 from a heart problem, as has another 26 year old young man in our town...and they all had plans for their lives. SUCKS. But, today is what we have to make it better for ourselves and each other. Mark Twain once said "There's lies, damned lies and then there are statistics". Remember this.

lkc - I have a medical background and both sisters are nurses. I was careful to stay with reputable internet sites and gather information carefully (one sister is an ocology nurse). All that said - I'm a positive person with a good outlook most of the time. Then, bam, something nagging comes along and I wonder - 1) should I call the doc, 2) should I wait a few days and see if it goes away, and 3) can I wait the two months until my next appointment?

Oh well, guess I'll give it a few days and hope things are better, if not, then decide from there. I like simple things like colds - I know how to deal with those things.

Great Han Solo quote! 

Just do what you can to not get bogged down in worry. My DH always says, if it comes back, it comes back. Worrying about it isn't going to change that. Just enjoy today because none of us are getting out of this crazy life alive.

I know easier to do some days than others. On those bad days, come hang out with us. We know what you're goint through.

feelingfeline:  I love your avatar. Who is that cute kitty?

I saw my BS this week for the 3 year check up.  He said that with my stage and type of cancer he felt that if I hadn't had a recurrence by now than I probably would not.  He said that normally he sees the recurrence in the first 2-3 years.  So - with cautious optimism - YIPPPEEEE!!