stage IIIB and mastectomy need advice pls

I think we can all agree that there is no one right answer; it is a very personal decision.  I had a single mastectomy, which was all that was offered to me. At the time of dx, I just wanted the tumor out.  After I healed and got my breast form and bras, I found how uncomfortable (heavy, hot, etc.) silicone is.  I got up the courage to ask for my healthy breast to be removed.  Oh how I love being a flat top.  No bras!  Just wish I had known I could have had a double from the onset.  I do have 2 new silcone forms, but only worn them once.

This is my experience.  I'm 71, retired, and no one who knows me seems to care what I look like. 

Best wishes to your mom.

Maybe your mom's dr. is taking her age and overall health into consideration (?).  Recovering from a double mastectomy is usually harder than a single mastectomy.

As been said before, it is a personal choice.  I initially wanted a double, but after my breast surgeon said it was more likely that cancer would show up elsewhere in my body than the healthy breast, I changed my mind.  I also came to acceptance of the tests, monitoring I'll have to be dealing with from this point on. Initially I bristled at the scans, etc. that I face, but learned I'm going to be a breast cancer patient one way or another, and feel confident in my dr.'s plan to monitor.  And, I take comfort in having my native breast.  In the beginning of this, for me, I viewed my breasts as ticking time bombs, but that feeling dissipated.  It's a big decision.

Zohra, I was just where you are 2 years ago with my mom.  And, like everyone else said, it is a personal decision that your mom has to make.  For my mom, she opted to have only a single mastectomy and no breast reconstruction.  It was a fairly easy surgery and healing process for her and in fact, she tried to convince the doctor to let he go home the night of the surgery (of course, he kept her overnight for observation).  I stayed with her a week after the surgery just to make sure everything was okay, but it was not necessary.  Just wanted to stay there and be sure.

Having said that and with 2 years in hindsight, my mom does say that she wished she'd have had a double mastectomy.  Part of it was that she was just so afraid of the surgery and what they might find going into it that she did not.  Now, she sees her ONC every three months and has bloodwork then, as well as occasional scans.  But, she still has the concern that the BC would return in her other breast.

Good luck to you and your mom.  If she goes with what her heart is telling her, she can't go wrong. 

Z...I chose a bilateral mastectomy...it was one of my questions after Dx and both surgeons I interviewed suggested I consider a bilateral so I never had to ask my question....7 years later, I know that I made the right decision for me.....And in the end it was medically the best decision as the noncancer side was pre-cancerous.....

I'm don't know about the statistics your mother's doctor is giving her, but maybe a second opinion would help her make her decision. 

How old is your mother? My Mom developed breast cancer a few  years before I did. She was 83 at the time and her mind was made up for a double mastectomy as soon as she got the phone call that the biopsy showed cancer. She wanted no additional discussion or further consideration. She and my brother saw the surgeon on a Thursday, I flew in from out-of-state over the weekend, and she had the BMX on the following Tuesday. Her surgery was just a week from when she got the phone call about the biopsy. Scheduling the surgery quickly and having a BMX was what was important to her. Her cancer was Stage II. She had an uncomplicated recovery and never looked back. She's 88 now and doing well. Stayed with me after my BMX and told my PS that she didn't have reconstruction "because of my age". 

My reconstruction surgeon told me risk of new primary breast cancer on contralateral side averages 2% per year. I am 54 years old. If I live to 85 then chance of new primary is 15% I wanted a prophylactic mastectomy but when I had my diep reconstruction there was only one good set of blood vessels not two. I'm now not sure what I will do now. I am happy with new breast. Much prettier than flat with scars. The flat side was a constant reminder of breast cancer, risk of metastasis and suffering. I think the decision is a tough one. No clear answer

Zohra -  You are a wonderful daughter! Your Mom will appreciate your support.