MRI showing "area of concern"

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5andcounting
5andcounting Member Posts: 232
edited June 2014 in Not Diagnosed With a Recurrence or Metastases but Concerned

My heart is beating like a hummingbird and all I can think is no, no, no, I can't do this again.  My rad onc just called and said she wants me to see my surgeon this week because my yearly routine MRI showed some areas of concern.  My three year end of chemo anniversary is Sunday. She says it could be fat necrosis or something more serious but I know her tone. It is the latter. I just had a mammogram and ultrasound in November and everything was clear.

My beautiful daughter is a freshman in college now, my son a junior and my husband  of one and a half years has no idea of the profound change that may take place in our lives. 

I have been living a fairytale existence until now. Cancer made me appreciate my life. My friends and family were there for me, supported me, we even laughed through chemo and radiation. I met the love of my life while I was still wearing a wig and the last three years have been the happiest.

This phone call, just minutes in length, has changed it all.  You all know it. The fear that accompanies it.  The uncertainty that we try to put to bed every day.

I sit here in my office with the door shut and cry. Because I know that bad things can and do happen. And that God may love me but He doesn't always intercede in the way I want. I am terrified and angry. Because this hellish disease leaves us with no way to plan our lives or predict in any way, what comes next.

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  • anamerty
    anamerty Member Posts: 195
    edited April 2013

    So sorry that you are so anxious I dont blame you I am like that also.as you can see from my banner, 14 years ago was my first bc I had always been folowed up by yearly mammos and mri's which they staggared so I would get mammo and y months later mri at the cancer clinic been doing this 14 years I have to tell you EVERY single time I had my mri somthing suspicious showed up and I would get ultrsounds it was somthing I chuckled about telling people that I just had an mri and ill get a call, for ultrasound.So try not to alarm yourself too much...Brenda

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  • jacksnana
    jacksnana Member Posts: 168
    edited April 2013

    I'm so sorry you are having this scare. Like Brenda, I've had a couple of scares after a routine ultrasound or scan that turned out to be ok. The anxiety for me is so difficult, and I certainly understand that feeling that your heart is beating like a "hummingbird"! Thinking good thoughts for you and saying a prayer... Veda

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  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited April 2013

    Dang it seems we will all never get over the fear factor. I guess it comes with the territory but its a wonder all of us are not in a rubber room somewhere. I dont take any kind of anti-anxiety meds mainly because I want to deal with this w/o them but there are times when I could use a calming down pill. I am already the poster person for worrying so you guys can imagine what I must be like to live with although I tend to keep my anxiety to myself for the most part. I have to admit I didnt know what fat necrosis was so I looked it up. We can all say try not to worry but that would be absurd because of course you are worried and will continue to until you know what it is. One thing I will say though is even though the drs tone sounds dire it may very well just be his way of delivering the news. I am wondering though why you have yearly MRIs? I dont have scans or MRIS and my BC is Stage 2, Grade 1. I had a lumpectomy followed by 33 RADS treatments and taking Tamoxifen. You just had a mammogram in November and everything was okay so that at least is a good sign. Try to focus, if you can, on that and the fact that whatever it is doesnt mean it is something that cant be treated. Keep the faith and keep us posted. We are praying for you. diane

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  • 5andcounting
    5andcounting Member Posts: 232
    edited April 2013

    Thanks to all three of you for the encouraging words, they are much appreciated.

    Edwards750, I have a MRI yearly because I am triple negative, have dense breast tissue and was diagnosed at 43. I had my mammo in November and an ultrasound followed which showed "scar tissue".  The area of scar tissue is quite painful and is likely fat necrosis.  Fat necrosis is difficut to differentiate on an MRI from malignant tissue.  My radiation oncologist is very straight with me, she previously thought the area was fat necrosis and now she isn't as sure.  I will see the surgeon Friday and the only way to know is to have an excisional biopsy and wait for patho report.

    I've calmed down a bit now, the irritation is waiting.  I realize diagnosing a recurrence sooner will not change the outcome. I'm just a really grumpy person right now, this is not like me and I will do better in the next few days but for now I just want to be angry and upset and act like an angry two year old. 

    Thanks again for the supportive words, it really is appreciated.

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  • 5andcounting
    5andcounting Member Posts: 232
    edited April 2013

    Good news. Pet scan showed no mets. Slight hyper metabolic activity in left breast mass. Biopsy 16th. I am happy with that. God has given me a good day:)

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