what's the best thing people have said to you?

What a nice thread. New direction - your son is too adorable!

I enjoyed being told: that I was courageous, by my mother, and that I had such a positive attitude, but the nurse just after I had my BMX. Lots of sisters hate being told those two exact things, but amidst my worry over cancer, I was happy to take any compliments I could get.

Really nicely said, New Direction! 

I agree as well...Great 'Bottom Line' Athena, especially as I consider NOT starting Tamoxifen...and dealing with the what if...

Happy Friday Everyone!!

My mother gave me her well-used, 40 year old copy of The Hobbit.  She told me that it got her through many difficult periods in her life.  I had not read it since I was a child and was surprised to find that almost every page had something to lift my spirits. 

“Go back?" he thought. "No good at all! Go sideways? Impossible! Go forward? Only thing to do! On we go!" So up he got, and trotted along with his little sword held in front of him and one hand feeling the wall, and his heart all of a patter and a pitter.” 

“So comes snow after fire, and even dragons have their endings.” 

I realised I was on a journey that I didn't choose and I had no idea how to handle, but I would make it through. 

Definitely recommended for the chemo reading list!

"Do you want a prescription for Xanax?"

Asked by one of my doctors (not directly involved with the biopsy) when she heard the news



I know it's not very inspirational, but it was great to have someone care enough to check in on me and offer me something that really did help in those first weeks.

After my Breast Surgeon leveled the news - Stage 3 Triple positive, Mastectomy, 5 months of dose dense chemo, 33 rads, and anti-hormonal treatment, she looked me in the eye with the most compassionate look and said, "WE CAN CURE YOU."

I didn't believe her at the time, but she gave me hope.  I had those words painted on my dining room wall 10 inches high.  In the darkest days of chemo, I would sit and stare at those words.  I am looking at them now.  They have gotten me through so much!

Love it, rc!!  Thanks for sharing!!!

After posting on another thread how alone & angry I'm feeling today, these positive comments were great to read, thanks. So maybe recounting a few of mine will help not just me,but someone else too.

I'm a teacher, and the former principal of my school, with whom I had had some issues, called to tell me I could call her anytime, she'd been through BC with her mom, she wants to take me to dinner before chemo begins, then ended conversation with, "I love you." I don't remember how I responded! "Thank you," I think...I'm not ready to say it yet!:)



I teach 7th grade, I was honest with my kids about what's going on without going into too much detail, but one girl who always says WHATEVER'S on her mind blurted out, "so you're going to be flat chested!?" The poor little boys in the class were mortified & asked if we could PLEASE change the subject!



One boy, whom I've known for several years, cocked his head and said, "I'm trying to imagine you with RED hair.. red hair would be good."



The week before I went out for my BMX, a girl refused to come into class, said she had to sit in the hall. She sometimes has behavioral issues, so I asked her if she was having a bad day. She told me she had a cold and couldn't be near me because I could NOT get sick...her grandmom was just finishing up chemo & she knew all too well about immune systems...so sweet, I almost cried! (She sat at a desk right at my doorway for 3 days!)



The nicest things people have DONE for me are overwhelming. My sisters & BIL bought me a kindle fire (which keeps me on this site!) for all my downtime, waiting time, chemo, etc. Also, I visited my school Wed. & they were doing a casual day fundraiser for me to help pay for hospital travel expenses. I was so overwhelmed I couldn't open my envelope til later the next day. They'd given me over $400, and the staff is only like 60 people total. Angels...

grover...the girl with the cold, so touching!  Goosebumps as Arion would say...:) xo

I stayed overnight in hospital for my first chemo and, being Catholic, arranged for a priest to visit and give me the anointing of the sick. When my onc visited my bedside and I mentioned it to him he said 'you are already cured'.

My wife's roommate in the hospital when she had her BMX was an 82 year old grandma who arrived in the middle of the night and the next morning was talking through the curtain with my wife when I got there that day.



Knowing why my wife was there, she asked to have the curtain drawn "because you sound so beautiful, I want to see your face"... I pulled the curtain and this woman said: "Oh, I KNEW it! You ARE beautiful!"



She then went on about her grandchildren... and she paused and looked my wife in the eyes... she said: "Just wait until YOU have some of your own----and you WILL."



I turned my head and fought back tears. My wife's face was aglow. This woman was delivered to us by the angels.

The best thing that I got out of having cancer (which I know sounds crazy) was being able to share my testamony about God's love and will with other people who went thru chemo with me. I know that God had a purpose for me to have cancer and I had to use this terrible thing in my life, turn it around and use it for his glory. I am 4 years out now! Giving him the praise for that too!

A little voice told me last night to watch a TV program.



It was late. I was tired from a full Easter Sunday at family's.



I should have been in bed long ago. But fate had me on the couch watching TV in the dark.



There was a program on about Jim Valvano called "ESPN 30 for 30: Survive and Advance".



Valvano was a college basketball coach who led an underdog team to a championship exactly 30 years ago. It was such an improbable and magical journey. They had been winning games by they skin of their teeth over favored foes.

Valvano's motto was 'survive and advance'.



Fast forward 9 years and Valvano was diagnosed with cancer. This was all part of this program---and I was askIng myself WHY am I torturing myself watching this? I knew that Valvano fought for 10 months before succumbing to his very aggressive cancer (they never determined the origin). He passed away 20 years ago. So WHY am I watching? It wasn't even that it was a cancer like my wife's. Why am I still watching?



I stayed tuned to try to figure it out. I have this thing where I try to find meaning, now more than ever.



They showed a speech he made weeks before dying. He said things like:

"Don't give up. Don't EVER give up".

"Do 3 things every day. Laugh. Think. Cry".



I wondered if that was what I needed to stay tuned for.

He also said things about cancer affecting his physical abilities, but that it could not touch his mind, his heart or his soul... and he announced the starting of the Jimmy V Foundation, because as he put it, he may not be saved---but maybe a loved one could be.



I went to bed sad.



This morning I googled what kind of cancer he had... then it hit me. I never knew this before this morning... In August of 2005---12 years after his passing---his middle daughter Jamie Valvano Howard was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was 33 and had BMX and chemo. And today, she thrives.



THAT was why the voice told me to watch. NOT to be reminded of Jim Valvano's fate from a cancer unlike my wife's-----but the success of his DAUGHTER with a cancer that is more similar. I am not sad when I think of Jimmy V now. I think how his experience may have saved his daughter through extra vigilance. And I am encouraged for my wife.



If you are not familiar with Jim Valvano, do a search for inspirational quotes by him. You need not be a sports fan.

Your posts give me chills Colt45.

Weeks ago, in bumper to bumper traffic, waiting in line to get to the on-ramp, I am stopped under an overpass...



Creeping along in my car, I have plenty of time to read something misspelled that has been scrawled on a wall there...



"The Lord is my Shepert"

It is written on top of the neutral paint the city workers used to cover up all the OTHER graffiti.

As I take that same route on subsequent mornings, I am delayed to the same crawl under the same overpass... and I notice that only after you read the graffiti-----about what I have learned is connected with Psalm 23-----can you see a church in the distance, clear as day, framed perfectly by obstructions that completely blocked it just moments before (trees, houses, the overpass columns)...



Could the desperate, illiterate soul who scribbled that KNOW that his message was placed SO perfectly for commuters to read, then immediately SEE the church only then---but not a moment before?



I tell you this: I'm NOT a religious person. I won't get into it here so as not to offend. I DO 'talk' to Him a lot---whoever He is... maybe I just talk to who I HOPE He is. I couldn't explain myself regarding this to anyone, I suppose. I don't even know where I stand. Heck, I had to look up "the Lord is my Shepherd" just to know what it said...



Then I read this:

"I will fear no evil, for You are with me;

Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies.

You anoint my head with oil; my cup overflows.

Surely goodness and love will follow me all the days of my life, "



The whole series of events is peculiar.



I choose to extract some comfort from them.



Bless you all.