April will be my turn, can we share hugs?
Finished chemo in February and was expecting surgery in March but April it is. So I have had some time to think about surgery. Like many in March, I am anxious and would love to share hugs and support with you as we anticipate and experience surgery in April.
I see my Onco and Surgeon this week. I hope to ask alot of questions and come home with a sense of peace as I prepare for this stage.
Hugs to all who have gone through this and all who are about to.
Comments
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Hi Keepswimming, My last chemo was March 5th and my surgery is going to be April 3rd. I won't be having reconstruction at this time as I have inflammatory breast cancer. They do not want to do any skin sparing surgery, as this is where the cancer started. Trying to read up on what to expect at surgery and after....was told I would only be off work for 2 weeks....that sounded a little soon to go back. But will wait to see how I am doing. Annie
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Keepswimming- Mets would make you stage IV. Do you have mets somewhere else in your body or do you have positive nodes?
I had my surgery last April. I can't believe it's been almost a yr. One thing I wish I had had was a recliner to sleep in when I came home. The drain tubes made it so difficult to sleep that I had to prop up pillows and sleep sitting up. The tissue expanders aren't the most comfortable things, but you do get used to them.
The best of luck to you. Hugs... Diana
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keepswimming and Annie2012, can I join the party too? My surgery is scheduled 4/19 for exchange to implants and I can hardly wait!!
((hugs)) to you both and to to Dianarose, you as well! Congrats on 1 yr!!
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Annie2012, I hope all goes well with your surgery. My neighbor chose not to have reconstructive surgery and was home the same day after bilateral. She said she disliked the drains but did well within a couple of weeks. She stressed to not do too much to soon, I will be praying for an easy and quick recovery for you.
Dianarose, thank you for your input, maybe I misunderstood mets. I have an occult primary (they cannot find the source of the cancer), I have four lymph nodes involved and was told it is stage 3 breast cancer based on the pathology from biopsys and location. I assumed metastized meant it had spread past the breast, which it has. I better change my Dx. This has all happened so fast, I sometimes guess what things mean.
I am lucky to have a recliner from when I had neck surgery, so once again I will be using it alot. I have been worried about pain and the TE's, it's nice to know you can get used to them. Congratulations on your upcoming 1 year. I am gratefull you and others who have been there stay connected and share.
2nd time around, You sound like a very strong woman! I am happy that you are on the tail end of your treatment. It's a hard road made easier when we share. If you are like me the one good thing is I will get perky new boobs!
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Keepswimming- how did they find your cancer to begin with? I had a sketchy mammogram and after trying to find the spot to biopsy for 2 hours they gave up and sent me for an MRI. That showed a different spot no where's near the one on the mammogram. They did an mri guided biopsy on that spot and it was IDC. I went to another facility and had the first spot biopsied and that was negative so I proceeded with a lumpectomy. The path report came back (12 pages long) with ILC in every bit of tissue. The lobular didn't show up on any of the tests. All of it was microscopic too. They said that the primary probably broke apart at some point and went their separate ways. Lobular is very hard to detect sometimes.
Will you have to do chemo again after your surgery? I didn't get clean margins even with the BMX so I had to do rads as well.
Annie- I went back to work 2 weeks after my BMX. You will be amazed how quick we can heal and feel better especially after the drain tubes come out. I couldn't have gone back with the tubes. They sucked the most.
Looking forward to June when I can get my exchange. The tissue expanders are difficult to sleep with. They are hard and I am a stomach sleeper.
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Keepswimming, you are having surgery on my birthday. I will be there with you in spirit! All of you ladies, I pray for you to come through with little pain and no complications. I chose lumpectomy but I did consider MX very seriously. My heart is with you all!
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Hi Dianarose, I found a lump in my right armpit. I was pretty surprised because I have been dilligent about getting my mamos (5 family members have had BC). So I had an US and they found 4 LN involved. A mamo, MRI, and PET scan showed nothing in my breasts. My Surgeon said he has only had one other patient where they never found the source, so we will see what they find in surgery.
After chemo treatments I had another US, Mamo and MRI, yesterday I saw my oncologist and the MRI was CLEAR! He said there is a possibility of more chemo based on what they find during surgery. I will be having 7 weeks of rads, then hormone therapy.
Boy, I am anxious about the TE's, I have read so much about the tightness and hardness, not looking forward to that!
I hope June comes quickly for you and you find some relief.
I am very blessed, my sister is a nurse and she is coming to stay with me for a week.
april485 ~ Thank you and Happy Birthday! Sending you hugs for a successful surgery on the 11th!
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april485 ~ I'm sorry I must still have chemo brain! Your surgery was on the 11th! How are you doing? My sister used lots of pillows. Hope you are doing well.
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I've finished neoadjuvant chemo and am scheduled to have a bilateral mastectomy with immediate reconstruction on April 2. I'll either have a one step to implant orn have TEs put in, depending on what the plastic surgeon can do after the mastectomies.
I see the breast surgeon this week and am fighting my insurance company that wants to send me home 23 hours after I check in for surgery. I just want one day and night after the surgery to feel stable and confident enough to take care of myself (with help) when i get home.
I got o frustrated I yelled at one of their nurses that "this wasn't bunion surgery after all."
We'll see what I get.
Does anyone think I'm being unreasonable or is 23 hours the norm for bilateral mast w/ recon?
Thanks for any input.
Peggy -
Peggy,
Welcome! Unreasonable? IMO absolutely not! This is major surgery! For both of my mx's in the hospital at least 2+ full days: 1st was a simple mx (no recon) stayed for 3 days (dr wanted longer but nursing staff was ignoring me for basics so DH took me home), past mx was with recon (both sides) and was there over 2 days (was ready to go home by then). Is this direction from insurance, dr, or hospital policy? Would like to hear what others have to say. Is there a nurse navigator? Maybe they could assist you.
Please keep us posted. Your surgery is coming up fast
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Hey, Maddy,
This wacky rule is from the insurance company and I have pretty decent insurance.
I love my surgeons but their nurse navigators are pretty useless after the initial appointment.
Finally my psychiatrist called the PS and they are trying together together me a day longer. I think I'll be ready Togo home soon too since there is a nursing shortage in the hospital I'll be having surgery in.
Thanks for confirming that I'm not being unreasonable.
How are you doing?
Peggy -
Good for you, Peggy! The extra day will make it do-able (just make sure you're going home with strong meds for at least the first couple of days. Then you can step down to OTC when you're ready.) Regardless of nursing shortage, they need to do what's right for the patient. I can't remember seeing or hearing from anyone going home in less than 1 day (but I could be wrong). I'm ok - have a long questions for my PS for my pre- pre-op appt next week. She's totally awesome, very knowledgeable and great (she's currently PS chief of staff at the hospital so I know I'm in good hands. I need to confirm my expectations with her to make sure I'm not being unreasonable. Little different with most with the delayed mx + current mx which had small tumor. So, I wasn't wasn't even close to being symmetrical before my Halloween surgery.)
Heading out to Las Vegas to my parents to work on their house: Mom has Alzeimheimer's and is a hoarder. Need to get them into assisted living but Dad doesn't know where to start with the mess. Went out there late January (with restricted arm movements) so I hope to get a bunch of decluttering and cleaning done in a couple days. Not close to the Strip and I don't gamble. Hoping this will keep my mind occupied so I don't dwell on the upcoming surgery. Do you have a recliner or comfy chair? That worked best following mx - bed too uncomfortable and difficult to get out of.
Hoping it's beautiful spring weather there like it is here. Please keep me informed about the longer stay.
Maddy
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Peggy, I am having a bilateral MX and TE/reconstruction on April 3rd, at Sloan in NYC. United Healthcare/Oxford insurance. I've been told 23 hours, also. A friend said for her the 23 hours started after the surgery concluded, not at check in -- but still 23 hours seems a bit hasty to me! Good luck!
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I got out of surgery and in a regular room at 5 p.m. and was discharged at 9 a.m. I was ready to come home. Hopefully if you are not ready you can stay longer. It must be a man who makes these dam rules. When I had my lumpectomy 8 yrs ago the insurance company called and didn't want to pay because the young man on the phone said he had found some less expensive surgeons on his list. I asked him what he knew about choosing a breast surgeon. He had no reply. Then I asked him if he had penis cancer would he want me to choose his surgeon. He didn't argue and they paid the bill. No one should have to worry about this crap with what is already on their plate.
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Thanks to you wonderful women for understanding my outrage at these restrictions.
I've pretty much decided that if my last fight with my psychiatrist and plastic surgeon doesn't resolve, I'll see how I feel after surgery. The PS nurse said they can't send me home if I tell them I'm too sick, in too much pain that's not yet controlled, etc., they won't push me out t,he door so fast.
I think it is a male CFO who makes these decisions at the insurance company and God help his poor wife if he has one.
Right now I'm struggling to get sleep at night as surgery approaches. Normal sleep meds (ambien, etc,) have made my sleep worse rather than better, which is true for a sizable minority of people. Mostly I'm waking at 3 or 4 in the morning and am unable to get back to sleep.
Did any one else struggle with sleep issues the week before surgery?
Peggy -
Hi Peggy,
About sleep: yes, it's normal to be worried and lose sleep, and I remember the week prior to my surgery was one of the WORST parts of the whole deal. The sleep meds do make the problem worse over time. Try to relax as much as possible before bed, keep the lights low to get your melatonin going, drink some soothing herbal tea and stay away from electronics and alcohol. If you wake up at night, have a boring book by your bedside and force yourself to read it! If all else fails, get up and stay up without napping until the next evening.
About the hospital stay:
My health plan and hospital are part of the same company (Kaiser Permanente) - my BS and PS said I would stay 1-2 days after BMX with TE's. There were so many interruptions my first night right after surgery, I never got more than 2 hours sleep at a time. In the morning I wanted to get the heck out of there so I could rest at home. I did fine. The pain was not as bad as I thought it would be - it was sore, yes, but I could control it with the oral medication. Others have had post-operative complications such as nausea, vomiting, and pain not controlled by oral meds, so if those occur you would need to stay in the hospital until they are resolved, and the medical reason would be documented and coded for the insurance company to see.
23 hours will give you one night in the hospital. To rest your mind, ask the %^&*! idiots at your insurance company when the clock starts, and get the EXACT time, e.g., when you enter the recovery room, or when you are admitted to your hospital room after recovery. This way you won't be worried about going overtime the next day, as if you don't have enough to deal with already. Idiots. Worse than idiots - criminals.
The oral pain medication should be fine by the time you are discharged. The biggest mistake many of us make is letting the pain get too high before we take our meds. When you first get home, take it regularly, don't let the pain get ahead of you. I was feeling pretty good by Day 4 and only took the narcotic at night and took tylenol or ibuprofen during the day.
Good luck - hope this helps. Don't worry too much - the worrying is the worst part, when surgery is done you will be on your way to recovery.
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Hi Peggy! Hi everyone! Can I join in and give some hugs? I'm having an excisional biopsy on April 5th. It won't be the treatment -- they're just going to take the whole tumor out. This is the second surgery on this same breast (partial MX 2008) and this surgery is going to disfigure the breast. Once the pathology is done, the BS said we'd take the next step: MX, rads, maybe chemo (she said it wasn't likely).
I want BMX too, and she seems like a "conservationist." Not much to conserve, as I said. She wants to do PS on it and fix it up! I don't find this at all appealing.
Anyway... does my lumpectomy qualify me to wait here?
I'm up for MX after this. They think I'm going to do reconstruction, but.. I'm thinking I'm not going to do it.Hugs to everyone! xxxxoooo bobogirl
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Whoops! Just wanted to say mine is a "drive-by" -- I'm back home the same day -- but this 23-hour news for MX is making me nervous. I also wanted 2 or 3 days, just to get my bearings.
I think we need to do some research on what sort of patients get to stay longer. What overrides the 23 days?
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I am totally taken back by this 23 hour situation. I am having a BMX with TE in April and the doctor told me I would need to spend two nights in the hospital for pain management with PCA and monitoring of the incisions.
I do not know how the insurance companies, or hospitals or whoever is making these decisions could decide that you have part of your body amputated and it is okay to go home in less than a day??? Unbelievable! I bet you men getting their testicles removed get to stay more than 23 hours!
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Yes, it sucks, but I wouldn't worry about it too much Bobo and Peggy. If there is a compelling medical reason for us to stay another day, the hospital's Medical Records Coders will assign diagnostic codes based on the physician's notes - and these codes are submitted to med insurance. So, if a patient has a heart attack while they are in for another reason, they are not sent home!!
I wanted to get the heck out of there, so I wish I could have given my extra day to one of my BC sisters here on this thread, but unfortunately it doesn't work that way. Don't worry about this, instead we need to use our energy to set up a soothing, relaxing environment for when we get home. I have my reconstruction surgery coming up in about a month, and now that I know what to expect I have NO WORRIES that I can get through this and be fine.
💓
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Peggy, I hope with all the support you have gotten here you are going into surgery with a little more ease. If that is even possible! I will be thinking of you. Keep us posted.
~Dianarose, I love your gumption!
~bobogirl, good luck on the 5th. Hoping your ps will make the choices with you instead of for you! -
Thank you Keepswimming! Shellshine, it is so sweet to think of you wanting to give your sisters one of your hospital days. And Angie..laughing at your comment regarding hospital stays for men!
So glad I found you all.
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Peggy, I hope you are able to get some sleep! I find myself waking and worrying also. All this worry when there is nothing I can do about it, so I have tried to prepare for post opp as best I can. The "surgery before during and after" forum has a great list. I will be thinking of you and sending hugs for a successful surgery on the 2nd.
Danawp good luck to you on the 3rd. I will be with you in spirit, I am scheduled for the 8th. Like Peggy, I hope they keep you in as long as You need to stay! These are crazy times, Hugs to you!
Angielee, when is your surgery? -
Hi keepswimming, and the lovely ladies of this discussion, just chiming in with my own anxiety as I shovel down Swedish fish and stress over my upcoming BMX and reconstruction on April 11. As I put the lid on my sugary red fish, I'm thinking I just want this over. I'm looking ahead, well past my surgery date and desperately picturing a life once so normal. I know I need to be healthy, so I will stay hospitalized as deemed necessary by my surgeons, but I'm that girl that wants to miraculously recover. Aren't we all...lol. The irony in that is that so much of my recovery depends on the valuable support of every lady on this forum. I know that this is how I will survive. So.....moving forward, what will be, will be. And I will turn here, when the rest of the world is dark.
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April is here so I wanted to list the dates of your surgeries so we can keep supporting you at each stage.
4/1 Michelle; BMX
4/2 Peggysull; BMX & possible TE
4/3 Annie2012; MX?
4/3 danawp; BMX & TE
4/3 Ashleigh; BMX & TE
4/3 Argynnis; RT MX & TE, LN Biopsy
4/5 bobogirl; excisional biopsy
4/8 keepswimming; BMX & TE
4/9 Idesim; MX
4/10 Ukkate; LT MX & Recon
4/11 bella42771; BMX & Recon
4/12 Amylsstrong; complete Histerectomy
4/15 Angilee; BMX & TE
4/18 DanaM;
4/18 Aryas BMX &Recon,4/19 2nd time around; exchange
4/19 Robin_in_SJ; BMX & Recon
I will keep up with the list as much as possible and Thank you to those not having surgery but giving us support and information that we really need.
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~Peggysull,
Sending you warm, comforting hugs as you prepare yourself for tomorrow. Hopefully these hugs will help you have a decent nights sleep! I will be thinking of you tomorrow. When you feel up to it, post and let us know how you are doing.
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Peggysull, I am in your pocket! HUGS {{{{{Peggy}}}}}
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hi everyone!
i have a BMX with TE planned for april 3. my length of stay will be about the same - 23 hours (potentially less!) which i'm okay with - the sooner home, the better. i wouldn't worry too much though - i have been reassured if there were any problems (pain, etc) they would keep me longer. i don't think they would send you home unless they were confident you would be able to manage okay.
good luck to all!
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Hi everyone. Hope I can join in. I had my original BC dx, surgery, and chemo back in 09. I have been living the POSt cancer life since then and it is AWESOME. Let me assure you that you will get there and you will love it.
BUT.. after a few years on tamoxifen and being post menopausal, I have had a few months of irregular bleeding, and now am scheduled for a complete hysterectomy (incl ovaries etc) on 4/12. It isn't exactly bc surgery, but I am an old hand at these bco boards (my chemo 4/09 thread is still active DAILY!) and hope I can be welcome here as I wait and try to not worry.
It is so interesting to me --- back as recently as 09, almost all of us in my group had surgery first and THEN the chemo. Now, only 4 years later, it is so often the other way - chemo first. Amazing how the medical field advances so quickly. I wish the best to ALL of you and will offer support and help to any who have questions. (I had lumpectomy, not mx.)
But now it is my turn AGAIN. I hate surgery and all things medical, but am a lot better of a patient (a more patient patient, lol) than I was when all this started. I had never been sick before in any way! I saved it all up to go through at once, I guess.
Anyway, my surgery is laparoscopic (sp?) and robotic. I am hoping it will not be too bad.
Thanks for letting me hang around, even though I'm not 'technically' doing this for bc.
Love to all - Amy
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Yes, you are our sister, and we are happy to hear from you!
I know this sounds strange, but just today I went on a long walk and for the first time in my life I had the thought: "I want to have my ovaries removed - I wonder if I can get my Ob-Gyn to do it."
I'm not afraid of death.......I just don't want to deal with C again. I NEVER thought I would be saying this - was always such a "natural woman," never believed in fooling around with Mother Nature, but have now had BMX and thinking about oophorectomy. Probly won't pursue it, but it's definately thought provoking.
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