You know what today is?

I'm 5 years out, and I've found what helps is actually celebrating my Cancerversary, which I consider the day I was dx'd.  Of course, it's not without mixed feelings, which I experience more in the days leading up to that date (like from the date I had my biopsy).  But I keep those feelings to myself and try to focus on the upcoming Cancerversary date, and what I want to do to make it special.  And if I happen to remember a surgery date (and I had several), I just thank God for my wonderful surgeons, and ask Him to continue to bless them.  

To me, each year cancer-free is a reason for celebration, and I make a point of treating myself with extra TLC on that day, whether it's just carving out and allowing myself some alone time for retrospection, or picking up the phone and connecting with an old friend, or treating myself to flowers or to a little luxury item I've been wanting (like maybe a pricey cosmetic), or all of the above!  I always do something to acknowledge the day in an uplifting way.  I usually mention it to my DH, but most of the time he's already aware of it, although we don't do anything to celebrate together because I actually think those memories are harder on him.  I don't mention it to anyone else except possibly a few bc-survivor friends, because I can't imagine how anyone else could even begin to understand what it's like, and my bc-friends truly get it, as I do when it's their day.

If the anniversary of a negative day still brings you down several years later, I wonder if changing the scene and doing something entirely out of your normal routine during that time period (like people sometimes do for the holidays after a major loss) might help?   Otherwise, maybe think about what you can do to treat yourself to something happy that you'll look forward to on those days, so that you won't dread them as much.     (((Hugs)))   Deanna