January 2013 chemo group

Meg: "Raquel Welch wigs are insanely natural looking but they still get itchy and annoying"

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I concur!  My long wig is a RW and I hardly ever wear it but my Nancy Grace looking wig is an Estetica brand and it feels almost as comfortable as a ski cap/beanie.

Skimommi, I've been thinking about your post on and off today.  I had a long drive to a doctor's appointment (not BC related for once) and as such, had lots of time to think about all kinds of things.  

I don't know how I would have felt had I found out I had BC at 40.  I had a scare at 32, when my son was two years old and I remember clearly how frozen with fear I was, waiting to go in for the mammogram after my gynecologist felt something in my left breast (it was always my troubled breast).  I had another scare about age 43 and was frightened then as well.  Finally, at 53 the fears became reality.  

At the risk of sounding cliché, life is so random.  We really never know what might happen from one moment to the next.  

I keep thinking about a post I read here at BCO during the first month or so after joining.  I would provide a link but I'm not sure of the exact screen name of the person who posted it.  

The gist of the story was this:  this poster, a breast cancer survivor, has a sister who has brain cancer.  Her sister was very ill and her treatments required travel to a distant city.  A wealthy man in their community became aware of the financial strain this was putting on the woman and without solicitation and out of the goodness of his heart, offered financial assistance.

Flash forward to a year later - this BCO poster's sister slowly began to improve and is now doing much better.  

In the same year's time the very generous man who wanted to help her sister was killed in a car accident during very inclement weather.

It's been a while since I read the post but I think the BCO poster relayed the story as an example of how random everything ultimately is in life.  

I can't think of a decent way to wrap up this post other than to say that I'm sorry you're feeling the way that you are.  I think chemo can mess with our heads/emotions.  Our bodies get so smacked down and our sleep cycles can be interrupted and it's just a bit of a cluster-you-know-what all the way around.  I like to think our best days are ahead of us and in the meantime, we just keep plowing forward.  

((hugs))

Had not heard of Estetica line, will check it out! Thank you and best of luck!

This is interesting and might possibly help some people feel better.  I'm up late playing Dr. Google games prior to a radiation consult tomorrow and just saw this: 

In contrast, one of the most exciting things now is the more common luminal A or ER-enriched breast cancer. If these patients are treated with breast conservation, hormonal therapy, and radiation, their local-regional outcome is almost perfect. We are getting to the point where we are seeing local-regional long-term recurrence of less than 5%.

http://www.medscape.com/viewarticle/776323

LeeA: you really expressed it so well. I always liked Forrest Gump's famous quote, "Life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you're going to get."

I always feel cliche in saying, just think positive, because sometimes it is not possible. It can be a mental battle and I do think the chemo messes with our mental and emotional health as well. I just try to keep reminding myself this is short term.

I agree on the RW wigs. I have one and while it looks nice, it is itchy, even with a cap. I paid about $400 for it so I am not buying another wig. I only wear it to work and since I am only working 5 hours every 5 days, I can manage it.

I have AC#4 today! I will be 100% done with AC! I am praying for minimal SE's. I am worried about the thrush as I still don't think it is totally gone yet, but I will keep taking the medicines for it through the tx.

Good luck ladies!!!!

ywheels22- Kick #4 to the curb! Good for you! Do a happy dance when you leave. We have a bell at the entrance to the infusion room that we ring when we are all done! If you have one of those, RING IT SO EVERYONE CAN HEAR!!!

Nicole503- Positive thought for good blood work. Stay on schedule!

Say my PS today for a check. Everything is progressing nicely. He wants me to wait for rads till the end of the summer. I think that might be the right time frame. He wants to do the revisions to my bloob when the BS takes the rest of the nodes on the left. I don't want rads during the summer. I want to be selfish and wait. I would start rads at the end of august. That would be about 9 weeks after chemo and 6 weeks after surgery. Any thoughts on this? I am meeting with a RO that my PS likes to use in the next few weeks.

ywheels and Shannon - Congratulations on being at the AC finish line!  Wishing you minimal to no side effects! 

Paula, thanks so much for the hair update!  The hairs (for some reason I like referring to them plurally ) appear to be growing (?).  The ones above my ears are about 3.5 inches long (yes, I measured them). 

Skigirl, your plan of action sounds good - especially the no rads in the peak of summer part.   

Nicole, I hope your enzymes are where they should be and Taxol is a go!

Fighter69, Thanks for your post - very inspiring words!

Klaudiak, I’m so sorry about your mother but so glad that she and you were able to see each other before she left.  She is with you always, on your heart and thoughts, and you carry tiny bits of her in every cell in your body.  She is ALWAYS there.  My deepest condolences to you and your family.

LisaMM, my eyelids started twitching and got worse for awhile.  To the point that I couldn’t really read for an extended period.  Other muscles seriously twitch.  It drives me apeshit.

Ablydec, I am sorry about your aunts.  It is incredibly difficult to face your own mortality when you’re going through treatment for BC when others around you are succumbing to illnesses and diseases.  I’m friends with a woman on facebook that my cousin suggested I friend right after I found out about the BC.  This woman is facing either her third or fourth bout of ovarian cancer.  From what I can tell, she is terminally ill.  I freaked that my cousin suggested I friend her.  Like, that’s EXACTLY what I need right now – facing cancer while reading about someone who’s dying from it.  I got over that.  Now, my feelings of fear for myself have somewhat been replaced with feelings of compassion for her.  You’ll find your way through these losses.  Please don’t feel guilty for having feelings and thoughts that pretty much anyone in your situation would have.

LeeA, what do you mean by ear twitching?  My right ear constantly rings and there will be periods where I hear several little ticking or pinging sounds that can last from a few seconds to a few minutes.  The hairs?  The ones around MY ears are longer than the rest.  What’s up with that?

Zorina, that topic kind of came up before when someone was asking about chemo before or after mastectomy.  These BCs are all so incredibly different.  I don’t think there are two of us alike on this board.  It would seem that MOs should have known a bit earlier that that particular protocol wasn’t shrinking the nodes.  It sucks she has to get a different protocol AFTER having already completed so much.  But, there are other drugs out there that can help your BC friend.  So, I guess what I’m saying is she is probably the much more rare case than we are (hopefully for us and unfortunately for her) and the best we can do is trust that the medical establishment knows what works for the majority of us and that those things will work.  Congrats on getting back to work and good for you that you have so many caring and supportive people on your side at work!

Kathy, I love GRACE!  I’m going to try to remember it and apply it.  Thanks.

Jubby, thanks for asking.  I’ve been feeling really down and sorry for myself.  This lung disease has become an even greater burden for me than before.  I’ve been reading about how everyone is exercising and I can barely walk.  The more I sit, the more deconditioned I get.  I am so fatigued from treatments 3 and 4 that I couldn’t even begin to try to exercise.  I see a few of my friends who were never interested in running are now taking up running, in races to top it off.  That’s all I ever dreamed of achieving for myself one day again.  I was a NCAA division I nationals finalist in high jump in college and was nationally ranked in high jump and hurdles.  And here I sit feeling like there’s no hope that I would even be able to walk 30 minutes through my neighborhood or go on a vacation because I can’t figure out how to do this as a disabled person or how to accept being disabled.  Plus my fingers hurt so much it’s hard to type.

Maltomlin, thanks for the words of wisdom.  I’m so happy to hear you’re disease free.  I needed that bit of encouragement.  Thanks.

Sounds like tomorrow is going to be a busy day at the chemo lounge!  Good luck to all and it is so exciting to see a few more of us A/C gals will have their last dance with the Red Devil.  You'll never have to dance with him again!

Dose Dense Taxol #2 for me tomorrow.  Then I will have completed 75% of my chemo!  My friend has to be at the hospital tomorrow, so she is going to stop by and see me at the lounge.

My pleasure hope49... It meant a lot to me to have women to talk to who could give tips- my husband and I are both somewhat active, I was treating a herniated disc when I found the lump and so that took back seat until chemo was over so I really took it easy as to not relapse while they wouldn't touch my back. I did drink lots of water to the point my husband thought I was messing myself up but those rules don't apply to us chemo chicks and I am sure that helped me get through it pretty good. Private msg me if anyone has specific questions- happy to help.

Ok we'll here's a little update! I saw my PS today..and that area I was worried about that had bad blood flow has gotten much better! The area actually came back and just has a dry very thin brownish scab that's flaking off..he said it looks great and he doesn't and wouldn't do anything to hold up my cancer treatment...his words were "everything is healing great...you need to take care of your health...nothing I do for you is more important than your cancer treatment...start your chemo, and if anything comes up I will work around your treatment...come back in 2 weeks and if you are feeling up to it we can start your fills, if you aren't feeling well we can delay your fills..we are working on your time here and I will wait as long as you need"...so my plastic surgeon is AMAZING! I feel a million times better knowing I'm healing good and my chemo will not be delayed...oh oh and the best news...........MY FINAL 2 DRAINS ARE OUT!!!!!!! I am soooo excited and I can't wait to wake up tomorrow and take a shower finally!!!!!! Some other news about tomorrow, I have very long thick crazy hair...but I chose to get it cut tomorrow to about my chin....I have always wanted to try out the short hair, but i use my long hair as a weight to weigh down my poof....but now is the best time to try it...if I hate it ill only have it for a few weeks before I start shedding and I shave it!! So I'm terrified and excited All at the same time! Thanks for reading my rambling!

Hello Ladies,

Loving the posts - it is good to hear the good, the bad, and the ugly. Makes me feel normal

Going in for Round 4 tomorrow; trying to drink as much water as possible, drink my Purelax cocktail, and adjust to five days without coffee.

Saw my ONC yesterday for our visit - blood work looks good; I told him how emotional I've been after Round 3 - he said "...we are wrecking havoc on your hormones and the steroids do a number on your moods too..."  I have to say, it made me feel a lot better. Then today, saw my bc surgeon;  everything looks good and she thinks I am doing GREAT! (I always say to her, you aren't just saying that to keep me upbeat and she replies, I can't do that, it's against the law) My poor, disfigured breast it trying to round itself out (good luck with that) but it looks better compared to what it looked like in late-November. I've been debating about re-construction but think now (at least today) I would seriously consider it. The difference between the two is significant - my leftie (bc side) is about 1/3 smaller than my right! And because I had/have naturally large breasts was the only reason we could avoid a mastectomy.

Round 4!!! For me, this is the milestone, I can't believe I am staring down the short end of the tunnel after tomorrow; then radiation, then the EST blocker! I wouldn't say it flew-by but it's like mid-terms, you get through one and relax until the next. Then the next is over and so on.

It is good to see the docs and check-in; I don't shy away with my questions or concerns about anything, nothing is uncomfortable anymore!

I am glad to read how many of you don't really like your wig! I hate mine - I wear it to work and always bring along back-up head coverings. You come to my desk around 11:00 and the wig has been cast off and is laying on top of my purse or my tote as if some person is hiding inside the bag wearing it. I forget how it might startle people but...

Trying to wind down from the day - it isn't easy - sleep is my elusive companion - going to pack my stuff for tomorrow and go read until I am face down in my book.

I am feeling the GRACE today, I know it could be fleeting but that is only temporary!

Love and hugs to all~ sweet dreams and good days ahead!

Kathy

Nanc620

I just sent you a friend request on F/B so I can join the F/B secret page for the user's of this thread.

I would have sent you a message but it wanted a $1.00 (maybe because we aren't friends yet!)

Anyway, please send me the secret handshake to join the F/B page - thanks so much - Kathy