Follow up with onc...I don't like going.....

I'm a little different in that my visits to the onc are more "necessary" that yours. I don't mean that yours are not important, they are and the feelings that go along with them are important.

Like you mentioned, the rest of the time BC is something that has no real impact on your current life and that is wonderful but the onc visits remind you of the fragility of that life. A lost of  control over it , I suppose.

One of the hateful hangovers of cancer, the never knowing if, or when it might strike again. A bit of PTSD when the appt is coming up and the going though it.

I think what you feel is entirely normal and even after the number of years, it is still a reality to a part of your life you never want to be part of again.

Congrats on doing so well and enjoying your life, sure you will bounce back and feel good again soon.

{{hugs}} Karen!  Appt time is tough...not sure that will ever change?  Sometimes it seems easier, sometimes there is a big black cloud over my head a few days before til after I walk out of the building.  I know we've talked about this before, but I would suggest going to one year appointments if at all possible.

Love you, my sistah!

I guess it's something we all have to put up with. My onc said I would be seeing him for ever! We are on 6 monthly appointments, but wonder if it gets to once a year at some point?

Karen, yes, I think it is fairly normal to get in the funk at check-up time. Both my docs are nice people, but I still would prefer not having to go see them. At the moment I am seeing 2 of them (BS and onc) every 3 months, so I sometimes feel like I all I do is go get blood work and visit doctors.

However, I am still giggling about the orthopedist I saw yesterday, who boomed at me in heavily accented English: "You are PERFECT!" It was a non-cancer visit having to do with my terrible back, but I am adopting that as my new slogan and announcing to everyone that I am perfect ;P

I think we can all relate to the fear factor and aptly put, hangover, from the cancer DX. To make matters worse for me I am the poster child for anxiety and worry. My son says I worry even when I dont have to. Probably true. Somehow I have conjured up in my mind that if I worry enough it will somehow control the outcome. Crazy? Of course it is but thats me and I dont guess I will ever change. Nothing any dr says including my ONC will completely erase the fear of the cancer coming back. We can all have the best of stats but we all know there is no guarantee. I think for those of us with early stage bc maybe the odds arent against us as much. Every ache and pain can signal something but most of the time it doesnt. We just dont know which one it is until we are checked out. I can so relate to the anxiety right before a drs appt. I have my last mammogram with my BS in May. I freak out more anticipating that appt than I do my ONC. I know our ONC is our go to person forever. Thats reality and I have accepted that. My BS has a small office and the techs are awesome. I typically go through my fears, etc., with her and then look to see if she has her game face on. The last couple of times she has come into the waiting room and giving me the thumbs up because she knows I am losing it. This dr sends the mammogram to a dr in Atlanta but the results are like instantaneous. No one can imagine what it feels like to be branded with the C word. I am a very optimistic person; I have Stage 2, Grade l, Oncotype score of 11 and currently on Tamoxifen so I am doing what I have to do to prevent a recurrence. We all know there are ladies on this forum who also had early stage BC and had a recurrence but on the bright side there arent too many of them. All we can do is keep the faith which I do every day. BTW I understand women who elect NOT to take Al's and I am blessed the SEs for me arent unbearable. Do think positive though...7 years is a long time. I have heard if you make it 5 years it is a very good sign. Diane