Calling all TNs

1…673674676678679…1198

Comments

  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    I get a lot of pleasure out of  cleaning.  I just put on my music and clean away.  I always think if something happens to me at least the house is clean for my old fellar even if he is the one who mucks it up.  I'm a tidy person and can get out of bed and it doesn't need making but my old fellars side looks like he played rugby all night. I like ironing as well especially if it comes straight off the washing line and smells so lovely.

    Tell me Gillyone what made you leave your home country and go and live in America 25 years ago was it the English weather?.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 982
    edited March 2013

    cocker - I get a lady to come in every two weeks to vacuum, dust and do the bathrooms - it sure makes life a lot easier. Having said that I don't mind housework, but it does take time and energy which I haven't had too much of lately. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    It would be nice I think to come home when I'm tired and weary not to have to think of housework every now and again but I would probably clean up because the cleaner was coming so it sort of defeats the purpose lol.   

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NavyMom
    NavyMom Member Posts: 1,099
    edited March 2013

    Good to hear from you, LUV. So sorry that you have had a bad time of it.  Glad the cough is getting better.  Enjoy Phoenix.  You should have good weather.  Soak up the sun and enjoy yourself.  My guy loves to golf, too.  I know how, I just don't have a passion for it like he does.

    Housework.....hate it.  I do it, but I hate it.  Some people get great pleasure from cleaning. I just don't.  But with just DH and me in the house, things stay pretty clean.  We both pick up after ourselves and that helps.  Gotta admit that I got him to help me  clean the house a few weeks back by promising a little "fun" later that evening.  Told him that I feel frisky when I see him push the vacuum around....well, lets just say that the house got a good cleaning and things turned out real fine.  Got him to go to the grocery store a few times by saying how much I liked watching him push the cart around, too!   ;)

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    NavyMom LOL.  Just gotta try that.  Might even work in the old fellars case, he's not to old yet.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • SherylB
    SherylB Member Posts: 450
    edited March 2013

    Hi all,

    I am having my final chemo tomorrow and have the first appt. for workup for rads on 4/1. I hope to start rads 4/8 for 30 treatments. Praying for a uneventful treatment and minimal SEs.

    Hugs to all, Sheryl

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    NavyMom I think he needs to do some vacuuming!!

    MARRIED OR NOT, YOU SHOULD READ THIS ... “When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I’ve got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes. Suddenly I didn’t know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn’t seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn’t talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn’t love her anymore. I just pitied her! With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now. The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn’t have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again. In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn’t want anything from me, but needed a month’s notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month’s time and she didn’t want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day. She requested that every day for the month’s duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request. I told Jane about my wife’s divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn’t had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don’t tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office. On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn’t looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her. On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn’t tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger. She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me… she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it’s time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day. But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn’t noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office…. jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind…I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore. She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won’t divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn’t value the details of our lives, not because we didn’t love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I’ll carry you out every morning until death do us apart. That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed -dead. My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce.— At least, in the eyes of our son—- I’m a loving husband…. The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse’s friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. If you are not in a relationship now, remember this for the second (or third) time around. It's never too late. If you don’t share this, nothing will happen to you. If you do, you just might save a marriage. Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up. ♥ Thank you for reading: Like & Share : NBBC PAGEhttps://www.facebook.com/akhiroprince follow me for my updates :Creator Prince. re posted:

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited March 2013

    Sheryl - last chemo is certainly a milestone. Here's hoping everything goes smoothly.

    Navymom - that's good!Smile I must admit that since diagnosis DH has come with me on Saturday mornings to do "big shop." I think he was worried about me keeling over or something going through chemo. Oh yes, then I had my boot on for weeks, so driving was tough for a while. And now I think it's just a habit. I do like it though - as I'm not the only one deciding on meals.

    CS - Yeah - first came to the US in 1979 to see my boyfriend (who became DH) who decided to go to grad school here. In the end he stayed and has been a college professor for 26 years. But the weather certainly helped(Smile). Here we have cold and often snowy winters and hot summers, which are not too long. Definitely four distinct seasons.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited March 2013

    I'm glad the days of sharing a bed that size are behind me!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • OBXK
    OBXK Member Posts: 791
    edited March 2013

    My you ladies have been chatty!



    Here's a little gift for you. If you ever find yourself having a port accessed, when it still has a bitof swelling, from surgery, ask the nurse to use a longer needle, to avoid being stuck twice.



    Luv - so sorry you've had such a tough go, getting your chemo perfected. Hope the gemzar brings your tumor load way down!

    Have fun on your trip!



    NavyMom - you are so smart!



    Annie - I'm doing well, chemo markers look good.



    My one good thing... I had my fav chemo nurse today!



    Thanks for the love!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    That would have been very brave of you Gillyone to travel overseas 34 years ago on your own.  A young girl going off on her own travelling would have been almost unheard of then so good on you.    

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited March 2013

    34 years ago!! Am I that old??

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    Oh might be my adding up, never was good at it.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • GuyGirl
    GuyGirl Member Posts: 182
    edited March 2013

    cleaningforareason.org offers free professional housecleaning and maid services for women undergoing cancer treatment.  I didn't hear about it until after my treatment.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • jenjenl
    jenjenl Member Posts: 948
    edited March 2013

    GuyGirl - I checked that out and it was unavailable near my house.  I clean the house after my bad week and before my next treatment (1 more to go, then rads...yay!).  I hate cleaning my house but I had to pic btwn cleaning my house or doing the yard work.  It's hot in NC so I stuck with hiring a lawservice. 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited March 2013

    Nothing wrong with your math CS (unfortunately). I had never been on a plane before, not even out of England before (unless you count Scotland and Wales), and I gave up my job!!! What was I thinking!! I will never forget arriving in the US. I flew Manchester to New York (and saw cops with guns for the first time) and then on to Indianapolis. The plane landed at midnight, it was July, and I had never experienced such humidity in my life when I stepped off the plane. I remember thinking, if it's like this at midnight, what's it going to be like in day time? I soon found out.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited March 2013

    I got hooked up with Cleaning for a Reason, right after I had hired a cleaning service.  They come once a month for 4 months and it's free.  So I am alternating them with the one I pay.  I don't want my DH or I to spend another minute of my life cleaning bathrooms!  He does the laundry, the cooking and the shopping.  He pretty much doesn't let me do anything except sit on the couch and fold the clean laundry.  I felt guilty until I realized that I did it all for 32 years, so it's OK for it to be his turn.   He gets upset if I try to do much of anything, so I am letting him have has way Kiss

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • TifJ
    TifJ Member Posts: 1,568
    edited March 2013

    Gilly- have you tried the Mr. Clean Magic Eraser on your shower doors? Gets mine nice and clean!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • NavyMom
    NavyMom Member Posts: 1,099
    edited March 2013

    Doing the Happy Dance for SherylB....no mo chemo for you!  Don't over do it, still gotta take of yourself.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    Wow Gilly that was one heck of a journey one way or another.  That man of yours must have been really something to do that for.

    Guygirl I don't think we have that kind of service here in NZ at least none of my support team mentioned it to me so I just carried on.  My Alan tried very hard and he managed most of it but it would have been great to have that kind of help at the very beginning. 

    LUV I just love the pampering you get from your hubby.  I agree about the bathrooms but I do like to do my own housework providing its going to stay lovely for a while.  My old fellar is the type who likes to be  tinkering in the garden or garage or fixing something for one of the grandkids not polishing unfortunately. His idea of cleaning the loo's is shoving a bottle of bleach down  it.

    Sheryl woo hoo to no more chemo.  Hopefully rads will be a walk in the park for you.  I had no trouble and only a little bit of pinkness to the skin.  No tiredness either.  Big hugs to you.

    We have very soft water here in NZ so we don't get the soap scum on the shower doors although there are services that come and make them lovely and shiny for you if you can't do it yourself.   

    Have a great day ladies whether cleaning or not and keep well with no side effects hopefully.  

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    I have just checked with my support team and yes they do have a cleaning service that comes once a week x five hours for three months. You can split the 5 hours to suit.  She was very very sorry it wasn't mentioned to me, but too late now of course and I did manage to do it myself.  I did have the District Nurses coming in every day for a month though to check on my wounds.  Oh plus my cancer nurses came every week for a year to check on me and they would still come now if I needed them.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • 5thSib
    5thSib Member Posts: 141
    edited March 2013

    LUVRVING -- your husband sounds like mine. He has been doing all the laundry, shopping, dishes, and a lot of the cooking since November. He has allowed me to go to the grocery with him only 3 times. He is being very over protective of me, but I love him for it. We've been together almost 35 years now. He hired someone to clean the house for my birthday about 4 years ago. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Everybody tells me he is a keeper and I agree.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • 5thSib
    5thSib Member Posts: 141
    edited March 2013

    SherylB -- so happy you are through with chemo - may it be your last forever.



    I only have 4 more weekly Taxol treatments to go and I will be through. MO mordred lower back xrays after my treatment today because I have been having severe pain for a week. It hard to sit and sometimes when I getup it's hard to walk. I just assumed it was a SE from Taxol but he must have thought otherwise -- prat least wanted to make sure there was nothing. I have 2 fingernails thath ave started lifting. I hope they don't get worse. All my nails have been sore for over a week.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • LuvRVing
    LuvRVing Member Posts: 4,516
    edited March 2013

    Shirley - it is so nice to be pampered, isn't it Kiss  I knew my hubby was a keeper when he married me 32 years ago - I was a package deal with three kids.  Instant family for him!

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • gillyone
    gillyone Member Posts: 1,727
    edited March 2013

    Tif - unfortunately I have tried the magic eraser. The water is SO hard here!

    edit for sp

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    LUV and 5thSib  yes your hubby's are a keeper as is mine.  When we adopted my eldest daughter 40 years ago there were not many men around that could take someones elses child and treat them just like your own.  He has never failed her or my youngest girl.  Always there for them and loving them both unconditionally.  I think it is easier for many woman who has the nurturing built in them but he has been a father in a million for both of them.  He never went anywhere without my Cindy tagging along with him with whatever he was doing and she was always his little side kick, she is still like that today.  My Mandy is more like me and we both like to read and make fancy cakes and believe it or not she likes to clean too. My Cindy is a take or leave it kind of gal and its always you came to see me not to see whether I have cleaned or  not.  She would always and does play games with her two kids and blow the cleaning.  Plus my old fellar makes me the most delicious meals so I will keep him, I think!! 

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Cocker_Spaniel
    Cocker_Spaniel Member Posts: 1,204
    edited March 2013

    I just love this, so funny

    Please Share <img class=" width="280" height="313" />

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Hopex3
    Hopex3 Member Posts: 397
    edited March 2013

    5thsib....sorry your having the pain. Could just be the taxol. I had a ton of bone pain with it plus after getting up out of my recliner, I walk like a little old lady. It takes me awhile to get going! I'm still having walking issues and some frequent pain in my legs and its been 10 weeks since chemo.



    Gillyone..I got rid of my shower doors and just have a curtain. Not real glamorous but easy to clean! Love how your DH goes grocery shopping with you! How sweet!



    Luv and 5thsib...Isn't it nice to have such caring DH's. mine likes to cook and work in the yard. But I have to do everything else plus work full time. Hence, the house cleaners.



    Luv...Enjoy your trip. My DH is a golfer too and I also like to play just for fun. But with all this reconstruction, I can't swing a club now.



    Sheryl...Congratulations on your last chemo. It's such a good feeling. I have to admit though, I do miss the nurses.



    Cocker...I just love hearing about the big fellar and your jokes.

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • Titan
    Titan Member Posts: 2,956
    edited March 2013

    Gilly...were you on the titanic?   Sorry...just had to get that in there girl.

    Sheryl...woo hoo on the last chemo!  that is awesome....rads are a little annoying but much  much better than chemo...you can start your healing now...hair will come back...you will start feeling more like yourself as time goes by,....

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter
  • mags20487
    mags20487 Member Posts: 1,591
    edited March 2013

    hello to my  TN sisters.  I am back in New Orleans for recon on the left side where the flap failed in Nov.  I had surgery again on Mar 5 and developed a massive cellulitis infection in the new flap almost immediately...I was not even out of bed yet :(  I was on 6 days of bed rest and have been in the hospital since surgery.  I can now get up and move about but doc will keep me here til Sat on some strong antibiotics.  At least the redness and burning are gone and the flap is holding it's own.  I went through 5 iv placements until they put in a central line so now there is no issue with the veins.  the doc says this is most likely my last chance to recon the left side so I am so happy that it looks like all is going to be ok in the end.  Scared in a way to leave the safety of the hospital but cannot wait to get out and back into life!

    Maggie

    · Share on FacebookShare on Twitter

Categories