Starting chemo November 2012

macyhen I had pretty loose bowels all the way through Taxol and now 3 weeks post chemo am just starting to have almost normal BM's. Diarrhea started with A/C and then continued so a long time!

Thank you for being here and listening. I fell miserable and cry. Probably I need to sleep. And cry.

I'll get over it but for now, I only want to cry. The stupid thing is that my onc, as soon as she sees me crying she's asking if I need xanax. I told her no.

Thanks 5luvbugs and marianelizabeth. The first time I had the diarrhea my onc told me it was because I ate some oranges. So now I don't eat any raw fruits or veggies, but still have the runs. I really miss eating them. This cancer stuff has me so confused. I read everything I can about bc, but I usually am more confused because one will say one thing and then another will say the complete opposite. That's why I am on this site because I like to get the opinions of women who are going through the same things. I used to be really depressed and I had bad anxiety after my stage 4 diagnosis. My PcP gave me Prozac and klonopin, which has helped me out a lot.

Eleni - cry and then wipe those eyes and find something to do that you enjoy.  After that kick cancer's butt!

I eat fresh fruit and veggies but only when I wash them so I know it's safe.  I can't imagine not having a salad or fruit.

Tomorrow is my last chemo!!  Whoohoo!!!  I meet the plastic surgeon on the 7th and then it's on to the mastectomies.  While I don't have to have radiation I will due to the BRAC 1 status be having 3 more surgeries this year. 

Megan - I too am looking at my hair and can not wait for the day that I no longer need a wig, scarf or hat.  Planning a party after my hair grows back and I think I'm going to burn the wig out in the backyard!!!  My way of saying that this cancer didn't beat me.  I beat it!!

Eleni~It took me a moment to realize who you're talking about. I hate hearing that. I remember when she was diagnosed before. I had no idea it had been 10 years.



I had lunch with my sister at the Spaghetti Warehouse last week. One of my best friends, Brad is the kitchen manager there. He sat with us while we ate. At one point a young woman walked by, and Brad told me, she just returned to work the week before after going through treatment for BC. He said, she's having a really hard time. That every ache, pain, twinge, causes her to think the cancer is back. I felt so bad for her. She looked to be in her 30's.



Blessings

Paula

Megan and txjunebug - I totally check out my scalp every day for signs of hair growth... and I still have 2 more cycles of Taxol to go!  Except for that on my leg, I think all of my hair follicles are on strike.  And after all this time, my eyelashes and a portion of 1 eyebrow have decided to abandon ship.  I'm pretty sure my wig ain't fooling anyone anymore.  

1. Hair - be patient - my last chemo cytoxan & Taxol was on Jan 15 - the hair on my head started to grow by Valentine' s Day - I now have about 1/4" so be patient.  Everything else is back to normal but I like some of you girls, have now lost 1/2 an eyebrow and my eyelashes are so thin - no hair on my legs or underarms and thats a good thing because I am 1/2 way through radiation and my armpit is red and sore....So hairs to ya girls...

Hi Ladies! Been thinking of you. Reading your posts, but nothing good to add.

The last round of TCH really kicked my butt and it's still got me whacked both mentally and physically, with leg pain and neuropathy and foggy brain and some of the early nausea returning as well. After my onc said congratulations at finishing, now its just herceptin infusions for 8 months and 7 weeks of rads... I told him I was worried about the cumulative effects of the Taxotere and Carboplatin he had mentioned and he actually paused before turning around to say, "You are exactly right: this next month will be the hardest."  No dancing nurses or purple hearts, but at least fair warning.

Txjunebugs, hope you are doing okay after your last round!

5LUVBUGS, I was still bleeding 2 weeks post Valentines day, so onc sent me to new gyno..turns out it wasn't the Fuller Brush man, but my own hard, purple, lifting off nails - I cut myself inside taking out the Today Sponge. And chemo keeps us from healing, have you noticed? Anyway, I am in menopause, these hot flashes are not all steroid caused, so no more of that.

Gyno also said there is a new genetic test required as of 1/1/13 - we all missed it - called the BART - more detailed than the Bracha. But not covered by insurance. As if we need more bad news.

Eleni I hope you are feeling better.

And KEETMOM, a vacation sounds perfect. And I hope the silicones take the sting out of the ovary surgery.  I already have implants, but radiologist says they will likely have to be replaced after teh effect of rads.

MEGAN2 how much biotin do you take? I am so over trying to look cute, with makeup or hair or clothes, not in the mood for fashion mags or shopping..seems hopeless so why bother? I'm with you SNEAKY and MACYHEN and MARIANNE --It's about the hair. I still can't have salad or fruit or sushi (as if I could taste it) but in a month when the TC stars clearing, want to go full speed with biotin if you think that helps.  My eyes are watering again so I keep doing the needle in the tear duct thing - and eye doc said Latisse is great, but only for lashes we already have. Oh well.

Novel went to press so had to be working to check final edits, omg, can only hope I didn't mess it up. I thought this would be an ideal activity, promoting the biggest book of my life from bed... but I'm so afraid it will just be a missed opportunity and bad timing and I'll never have a creative thought in my head again..Waiting to hear if Target will pick it, then at least you can all point out where the chemo brain kicked in...

Took over a week to be able to walk the neighborhood and yesterday I did walk near the beach.. today the weather is gorgeous but I can barely move, so am trying to stay in bed, of course I'll try to work, always end up just wasting time not resting not working well. ugh

The sky is blue, but have to avoid sun, so will imagine months to come, when we are all better.

xo

Sickofpink, thankd for mentioning BART. I'll check it and ask my doc. I don't have BRCA1 but they're checking my tumor, I'll know more in six months.

Hi all ~ Agree with Ginny and cheering you on.  You will make it!

Last chemo was 25 Jan 2013 and last week I realized while I was working that I didn't have to think as hard to ensure I was capturing everything and I didn't have to review records two or three times to put the pieces together! Hair is still gone and the ultimate was losing my eyebrows about 10 days ago.  I mean, REALLY??? 

One funny thing that happened 3 weeks after my last chemo.  I was supposed to meet a colleague in Houston to do a site visit in Tomball, TX.  I had a great flight, got off the plane, got my luggage and waited for her to tell me where she was.  She called and said she had the car. I told her I was at E16. For over 30 minutes I waited for her and we were on the phone while I gave her directions to E16 again and again.  Getting frustrated (I mean, really!  How many bald women wearing a bright pink sweatshirt are there at the airport?) I gave the phone to the airport police so he could give my ditsy friend directions.  He was getting frustrated as well.  Finally, I heard him ask her what airport she was at. I had flown in to Dallas, not Houston!  This was not the first time I was at the site (had been there 5 times before) and although I thought the airport looked different, just thought I flew into a different terminal. When I booked the ticket, I thought the airport code looked weird and blamed it on my chemo brain.  Now, I have all previous trips at hand and follow the old itineraries before I book the ticket.

Maryah~My 15 year old son & I flew to Baltimore Maryland with my sister, Jan, in 2003. Jan was in a really testy mood. She grumped about everything. She told us to sit in a certain area to wait to board.



We were afraid to say anything for fear of getting chewed out. Finally, I had to tell her, " I think we're at the wrong gate, and our plane has left without us."



She was so apologetic, and we had a good laugh. She was more more pleasant while we waited 5 more hours for the next plane.



Blessings

Paula

Maryah - Thanks for the laugh but Oh my the frustration!! 

Thanks to everyone cheering all of us to the finish line.  I had my last chemo on the 28th.  6 rounds of TC and this final one is kicking my butt like the third one.  Go figure. 

Hope everyone is having a good day!!

Maryah - now that was one heck of an adventure, please tell us how the story ends...I need the final chapter!!!  You poor girl....

Sickofpink -if  changing your avatar makes you feel "normal" then good for you - it's a nice picture too, we better all follow suit. I should change mine because I had my daughter cut off the rest of my hair and I no longer look like that baby...now I definitely  Look Like My Father!!!!! Now I must set you straight, changing the character in your book didn't change destiny....Relax, most of us lost our hair  - it's gonna grow back!!!! Today someone who has known me for many years told me I looked wonderful - who, me, bald me in a turban at the radiation center!!  I said thanks, I feel great!!!!  What's up with the nails this week?

Junebug welcome the the "finished" line - you will start feeling darn good in about another week - chin up!!

Eleni tell us more about that face!! 

Paula, how are things with you?

Tomorrow the doc is starting me on my Rads boosts to give my sore, raw armpit a break - 8 days boost the finish up with the regular dose.  OK girls, need to get kids off the school bus,,,,

5LuvBugs~I started 12 weekly Taxol last Friday. So far, it's been pretty easy. I'm tired on day 5, but still have my tastebuds. Feet & legs are a bit swollen, but other than that and being tired, this is so much easier than AC.



Blessings

Paula

Thanks for the tip, Volley - had the needles in tear ducts today can't frigging see but so want to be efficient, very annoying. Wasting time at desk. And we can exchange tips about fake eyelashes.

Thanks for the compliment, txjunebugs.

And 5luvbugs, my nails are purple until white/yellow where they are lifting up. Can't get credit card out of wallet, maybe that's a good thing. Still bleeding from everywhere, too. And I look like my dad, too! But I love your pic. I am fine to be bald around home and wear scarves out, it's just bad enough looking in mirror to put picture out there. Lazy, but wimpy, too. You are far beyond that. Oh, turns out 5/7 is release date, something about tracking lists for sales. (Presale helps the inital print run and at 50 cents per book or whatever I need to sell a lot to pay these medical bills, sigh.) How are we all managing?!

Eleni, good luck with Bart info.

Soteria, every week sounds rough. Hope it keeps going smoothly.

xo