January 2013 chemo group

That's a great link, Jean.  I just bookmarked it. 

Have you checked out the hair, hair thread?  Several women have posted photos of their hair growth progression.  It's one of my favorite threads.  

cgesq, thanks so much for checking in and reminding us there is life after chemo!

LeeA, LOL on the pug - so funny!

for those asking about tastes being ruined...I am finding that more and more every day as nothing really tastes good to me so I keep having to dig up new things to eat and then move onto something else the next day...I find it lasts longer each tx and I can only hope it moves on quickly once I'm finished or I may never eat again!  Speaking of things making you sick, I've also noticed I hate anything associated with this time - my toothpaste, moisturizer, etc and I have also started to hate my pajamas and comfy clothes I'm wearing around the house...I just want to pile it all up and burn it when I'm done...anyone else feel this way?  UGH!

By the end of ac3 I was so tired I was looking forward to ac4 so I could rest and not go to work. Now it's her and day two I'm so much worse than I was last time but I think that might. Be because i had a reiki treatment last time , and it was amazing.

I hope you're all doing ok, and congrats to those meeting milestones in their tx

Xx kk

If I may have a small pity party...I opened the oven door tonight without thinking to take out muffins (because I finally feel like eating) and singed the bangs of my wig.  Now I have to take a half day off of school tomorrow to go to the wig store to see if they can do anything.  I am feeling very dumb and very much like "Are you serious? Don't things suck enough?"  I was hoping to work all week this week because I was off 3 days last week for tx#2.  Next week, I have tx#3 and will miss a day.  Fortunately, spring break is the following week so I won't be missing school. Kindergarteners don't like having their teacher gone a lot. 

Dear January 2013 women and men(?),



Just a quick note of support from a January 2012 woman! This time last year the whole treatment process seemed never-ending. But just over 2 weeks ago I had my last Herceptin infusion at the chemo suite and then had my port removed a few days later.



I know exactly how you are going right now (crap) and the tears that fall in the middle of the night, or the middle of the day.



I know that you are wondering why the h--- you are doing this and if you are doing the right thing.



I know you are grateful for meals delivered and finding that some people cook things in ways you could never imagine (and sometimes in ways you never want to see again!).



I know you are being hurt by those that you thought you could count on, and are being surprised by those you thought you couldn't count on.



I just wanted to stop in and give you all a big hug...



Jenn

hope49  -  There are shirts in my closet that I know I wore to chemo, and yes, I want to burn them!   I am waiting till the end of chemo, and then I am going to clear out my wardrobe and send it to Goodwill.  FWIW,  I’d like to do some things around the house, too.  We’ve been talking about reupholstering the couch for years, and since I’ve spent a lot of time on it lately,  I really want to change it.  You are not alone!  I think part of it is the desire for a grand symbolic gesture that marks the end of this time and the beginning of a new and better time.

Byrona -  I did have the electrocardiogram, and I got to see it on the screen.  It was definitely strong and amazing to see.  If I was having a racing heartbeat,  I would be more nervous, I think.  I go in on Thursday and will drill them with questions.  I figure it can wait two days. 

Soteria and Nicole – Hallelujah!  My taste buds will improve.  I am really enjoying my morning coffee right now, two weeks after the last A/C.   I had a glass of white wine a week and a half after each treatment, and I swear my tongue felt better afterwards.  I was just so sick of water and wanted something different, the perceived side effect was a bonus.  We love a martini occasionally, but I am steering clear of those because of my liver.  Good news on the GI issues Nicole, I know you had a lot of issues with that. I had none the first two TX, third was really bad and fourth was not as bad.   Thursday is my first, and I am just nervous about an allergic reaction—or that I cannot tolerate the dose dense.  If I can stay on dose dense,  I will be done before my birthday, and that is a major goal for me.

Skkimommi, you can do it!  Doesn’t everyone say #3 is worse than #4?  Hold on to that.  You’ll be in my thoughts and prayers.  Love you, sister.  LOL about hating pink.  I hear ya.  Though, I’m surprised you don’t hate red, too!  How about tickled Rose, like the wine?  I was too lazy to find the international keyboard for that little inflection thingy.

Bryona, come visit my cabana any time.  I’ve been crazy about that Dwayne Johnson ever since my eyes first saw him.

Smethot, my hair pretty much fell out the same way.  I thought I’d be completely bald based on my experience with chemo for Hodgkin’s years ago.  So, I had my husband buzz me.  I’m concerned about my brows, too.  They were already somewhat sparse before I started the chemo.  I had my MO write a ‘script for Latisse.  I started using it for maybe ten days or so right at the beginning.  Then, I stopped because I just didn’t give a damn anymore.  I was too fatigued and wiped out to bother.  I used one little brush to swipe across the lash line and because it was still wet, I’d swipe it across my brows.  I’ll probably go back to using it maybe two or three weeks after my last chemo treatment.  I’m crossing my fingers that they’ll grow back in thicker.  I’d love to have more brow hairs.  My nether hairs seemed like they wanted to fall out, so I shaved that area preemptively and have stubble now.  For those who don’t like TMI, I find it hard to pee straight without at least some hair.  I warned you.  I agree about the bummer keeping toe hair instead of head hair.  Where’s the justice?  Indeed!  NO SKULKING AROUND HERE MOTHER F***ERS!!!

Skigirl, good luck with AC #4.  Is that the end of AC for you?

YWheels, I can’t speak for AC because I must be the weenie of the bunch.  I’m getting taxotere and cytoxan which I hear is easier on the body than AC and I’m getting 60mg/m2 instead of the standard  75mg/m2 that most others are probably getting, but YOU CAN DO THIS.  Don’t freak out.  Your compadres have made it through, so can you.

Jubby, hope you enjoyed that meal at that swanky restaurant.  I can’t wait for the day when I can do that again.  I can’t wait.  Skinny as I am, I love, love, love food.  Coming out of the tunnel is a great way to see it.  By now, most of us January girls must be coming out instead of going in.

Zorina, LOL about the red drinks!  I’m not much of a drinker, but when I do drink I occasionally drink red drinks.  I’m not getting AC, but I wonder if out of empathy for my AC sisters if I’ll think about that the next time I see a red drink.  I think if I had to choose between taste buds and hair, I might have to chose taste buds, too.  Also, Zorina, ask the MO what your liver enzymes have been like.  Some can get elevated by chemo and I’ve read that glutamine Is not good in the presence of elevated liver enzymes, like AST and ALT.

LeeA, hysterical pug picture!  When my ex-husband and I moved into a newly built town house in Chicago, we had this pretty long punch list of items.  The builder sent over a young, pretty good looking dude to repair the items.  He was at our house almost daily.  While he was there, he’d volunteer to do chores for me.  He’d see me coming home with groceries and rush to take them from me.  He’d see me taking out the garbage and rush to do it for me. I started thinking of him as my cabana boy.  It was great while it lasted.

Hope49, I think that’s actually kind of common to start hating anything associated with this time in our lives.  I went  through this with the chemo for Hodgkin’s back in ’87 and ’88.  We had to redo our bedroom because I couldn’t stand going in there anymore.  I’ve already told my husband to expect that to happen to our bedroom sometime in the  very near future.  I haven’t really felt that way about clothes.  I’ve been using biotene toothpaste, which I don’t think I’ll use when I’m done. 

Bryona, oh that’s bad with the friend.  I hope she stops making you feel sick.  Love the guy with the three followers!

TeacherJulie, sorry about the wig bangs, but you have to admit that it’s actually funny.

Jenn, Thanks.  I'm so glad to know you're a success story like the rest of us here are going to be!

So, I had an appointment scheduled with the radiology oncologist yesterday and before I went, I was doing some research on what areas would be radiated, what type of radiation, etc.  I was getting my panties in a bunch over the thought of having to have my internal mammary nodes radiated since they’re usually close to the sternum.  Some research seems to indicate that radiating the IM nodes doesn’t affect survival or recurrence rates.  However, it appears that it is necessary to radiate the supraclavicular nodes, or the nodes located above the collar bone along with the axillary nodes and the chest wall.  I’ve had radiation to the chest for Hodgkin’s.  My whole chest was radiated for a week.  Then the doctors put selenium blocks on a plate between me and the machine to block the radiation from hitting most of my breasts.  I was very concerned about how much, if any, radiation I can get and very nervous that a treatment modality might be off the table for me.  I sure would hate to go through the hell this chemo has been to end up with my risk of recurrence that much higher or my chance of survival that much lower because I can’t get treated the same way other women get treated.  It sounds like I’ll be able to get treated.  I’d rather not, but I’m glad that I can be. 

So, Skigirl, I see that you had reconstruction with the TRAM procedure.  The RO told me how important it was for me to still do monthly exams, especially of the chest wall because that’s the most likely place for a tumor to recur.  Is the TRAM flap over or under your chest wall?  Did any of your doctors talk to you about how to perform the self-exams on the reconstruction?  If the TRAM is over the chest wall, will you be able to feel through the TRAM down to the chest wall?  I’m not sure first of all if I am a candidate for reconstruction because I’m high risk for surgery with this lousy lung capacity.  My goal is to get the contralateral mastectomy before I end up with breast CA in the left one.  My risk is double the risk of the general population because of the prior radiation.  I can’t imagine being able to make it through chemo again.  The PS doesn’t seem impressed with the ability to use my own body for reconstruction because I’m so darn skinny.  She also wasn’t too thrilled about using implants for aesthetic reasons.  Again because my chest wall appears to be so thin that the implant would look really unnatural.  I guess I’d rather have whatever they are able to do be under the chest wall so I can feel the damn thing.  Though, truth be told I never want to feel my breasts again for fear I’ll feel another lump.  I think I’d go off the deep end and have to be institutionalized.

Oliverhog- My procedure is over the chest wall. They took the fat and skin from my belly. He said I had barely enough to use. If I had come in just for a tummy tuck he would have turned me away. He looked at my lats and my gluts and my inner thighs. Those are all spots they can take it from too. My BS removed all breast material and left only the skin. So, my left is basically a mound of belly fat and skin. There had been no talk of self exams on the reconstruction yet. I have zero sensation in that breast and I am pretty sure that will never change. I am glad I chose this path, but, It is a very hard surgery. I have a scar from hip to hip that was the big source of my pain. Knowing all of your medical issues, I would steer you towards implants. And you are thin. I would have a hard time believing you would have enough skin/fat to use for a breast mound.  I wanted to stay the same size too. He had barely enough to keep me a C cup. I would have chose implants if I was going to be smaller. Just a personal choice. Lots to think about....

AC#4 is friday... I am beyond ready to kick that red devil to the curb...

So excited for all of you that are done with AC.  Congrats to you all.  Thursday will be #3 of 6 TCH for me so I will take 1/2 way and run with it.  I agree, I do not want there to be a reoccurence for any of us.  That would completely suck and it would break my heart.  We have all fought so hard to get to where we are and this isn't fair as it is.  A reoccurence would just be a slap in the face on top of it.  I'm hoping that rads are as easy as everyone says they are.  The RO says about 5 minutes once we get past the first couple so 5 minutes compared to 5 hours, woo hoo, sign me up. 

Jenn - I saw on your profile next to radiation it says quit.  Why did you quit?  Congrats on being done with it all and being cancer free.  We are all gonna meet you there in a year. 

I'm watching American Idol and I'm thinking that Keith Urban needs to be a cabana boy.   

Good luck to everyone heading to the bar this week and everyone that has been and is in recovery, I wish you the best.  Minimal SE's to all and a wonderful week.  We are supposed to get 8 inches of snow tonight and then this weekend it is supposed to be in the 60's.  WTF!

I'm going to catch up on posts, but I have a quick question.



When your hair was falling out,or even after, did you get sores on your scalp, like small pimples? My scalp's so irritated and not sure if I'm doing something wrong.

Hehehehehe @ oliverhog and sherylb, I thought I was the only one that had that pee in the cup problem. I always get more pee on my hands then the cup.

SherylB and Macyhen111, I'm glad I made you laugh.

LOL @ Oliverhog...

I had no idea pubic hair had straight-edge properties!  

And I hate trying to go in those cups and hate even more turning it over to someone else.  Oh, and I'm not much for writing on the jar either.