Radiation only, no chemo

Renee- Wow you have great attitude less than 24 hours from mx. Rock it girl!

Best wishes on the skin graft & port. Looks like you may have an additional journey before you reach rad land. ((Hugs)) & accept those helping hands ) you've played it forward!

Sammy I am trying to be positive myself about rads. I totally understand how you might sit in the car and cry I did it myself this morning. I don't think I had confronted my diagnosis until today myself. I was measured for my rads today and had a meltdown in the CT machine after 2 hours. Getting the tats was a little uncomfortable but I survived that but when they told me I had to do the breathe and hold measurement I just couldn't take any more today 3.5 hours was enough. I have to go back on Thursday and practice holding my breath for 25 seconds so they can complete their measurements.  Ugh. I have opted to get my rads at a hospital near my house my surgery and team are 35 miles from here but they have doctors in the hospital closer for the radiation only. Walking into a new cancer center made me confront this disease once again with new people. Lets agree to be forgiving of ourselves today.

Joanne,

I'm grateful that you started this thread because I've really come to understand that this is as much an emotional journey as a physical one. I've had such a variety of feelings, many of which have been echoed here.

After my surgery, I was very hesitant to post on the surgery thread I'd been on because I was luckier than most, even though we'd walked through very similar fears when going through diagnosis and awaiting surgery. And I did feel guilty, which is a bit bizarre. I also noticed that many folks in my life thought it was all over after surgery because I had clean margins and no nodal involvement. But I did undergo a follow up MRI to be sure there wasn't any other occult cancer (my histology can present multi-focally and was not seen on mammo). I'm also gearing up for rads (begin next week) and they recommend 5-10 years of tamoxifen. I have the scars and now the tattoos to remind me that i was diagnosed with cancer, So, no it isn't over and it is cancer and all that pretty much sucks....and yes, I still do know that I'm lucky.

I was just so relieved (?) when I found this thread. I just kept nodding my head as I read, realizing I wasn't the only one coping with challenging and confusing feelings and thoughts. There really is a whole dimension to this diagnosis and accompanying treatment that isn't readily addressed. I'm glad to have found others who understand.

Thanks ladies for sharing your thoughts and feelings. Renee - please keep us posted on how you are doing.  For those that have cried......I have too.  Some days I feel strong and like I am doing SOMETHING when I walk into the cancer center for radiation and other days I am ready to fall apart and have to talk myself into not leaping off of the table while in the middle of my treatment.  I have started journaling some and also doing a photo journal and taking pics of my favorite rads therapists and friends I have made along the way.Am trying to keep strong ladies.  I try to keep smiling and counting my blessings.........in between panic attacks!!

Had second surgery on Friday - a bit more pain than the first surgery - same incision only a bit bigger - Went much faster as you don't need all the dye and the a wire put in. Just got a call last night from my surgeon - no cancer found in any of the tissue taken - so that's good news. None of the doctors thought they'd find anything - but it was on the back of my mind. Have an appointment with RO next week (as well as surgeon) and I assume I'll get the information on when to start radiation. Still dealing with sticky blood, on blood thinners - the nurse said all this surgery might be a blessing in disguise as I've probably had clotty blood for a long time and if they can get it to be less clotty it will be good for my overall health in the long run. Right now I'm just sick of the twice daily injections and having blood draws every day - Hoping it turns around soon. Now that I've had my pity party - all in all I guess I'm pretty lucky. Got good news on second surgery - back to work today - and ready to move forward.

Kkuziel wow they use the same incision to get larger margins...& all clear:)) yeah! Good luck with INR that is no fun DH is on thinners & it does impact well being. You will find your range.

Keep us posted as you move to rads. Again congrats on clear margins!!!

I just finished reading this thread and am so happy I found it! What a fantastic group of women (some of you I know from two other threads I am following 😊)! I had my first appointment with my MO today to discuss the result of my oncotype test which came back a 15. My MO did not recommend chemo and I did not push for chemo. My benefit would have been a 1-2% reduction of recurrence. It was a no-brainier for me. Right now I'm feeling relief at not having to go through chemo but I am sure I will be feeling twinges of guilt or thoughts of what-ifs later on. I just want to thank all of you for being such courageous, strong warriors! Thank you for sharing your journey! I have an appointment with a RO on March 14 (first available!). It just seems so far out from my surgery date of February 1. I'm sure this is a perfectly acceptable time frame but it seems like a long time to wait. And I hate waiting! Patience is not one of my virtues! LOL! Thanks for listening. 😊

Amy- Welcome! I'm using my wait to heal & lube up my skin for rads. Lumpx 1/23. Also it has been a nice break so the fog has lifted. Wait is a NO c zone which means playing laughing being in charge of my today ). Getting ready for next battle charge!

Take care.

Amy I too was concerned about the time lag from my first surgery January 18, and the second surgery February 22, but I was reassured by RO that the window of opportunity is much larger than we think. He told me he had a patient this year that had surgery before Christmas and wanted to wait until she returned from Florida in Mid March to begin radiation, gave her the okay and said it was within the "window." I think we think cancer is a medical emergency, but doctors (who I hope know something we don't) consider it an emotional emergency, but do not share our urgency for fast action. My surgeon(who has been very patient with my hysteria) assured me from day one I had plenty of time, and so far he's been spot on.

Oh my gosh Joanne. I just read your 2012 post about feeling guilty and I have had the exact same feelings! When people say I'm strong and that they admire my positive attitude, I always think that I don't deserve the praise b/c I don't have real cancer. There are so many people struggling with so much worse, that I tend to dismiss the fears and the pain.

Hello everyone. This is my first post but I have been lurking for a while. I was diagnosed with IDC on jan. 24th and had my lumpectomy on Feb. 7th. My Oncotype score is 8, so I also dodged the chemo bullet. I have a friend who was diagnosed after me. I met with her on a Saturday and told her how easy my surgery was. I told her about my upcoming rads and that I wasn't worried. I wanted to be encouraging. At the time, she knew she had cancer but had not been to her BS. Two days later, she met with her surgeon and her diagnosis is much different. She has to start with chemo just to shrink the tumor. Then she will have a mx and rads (I think). Talk about guilt! I feel terrible. I definitely feel like I don't have real cancer. I am so grateful to be stage 1, grade 1.

I'm in the same boat as many of you...lumpectomy, rads, Tamoxifen.  I asked, but an Oncotype test was not recommended, so have no idea where I stand there.  My cancer was small, stage 1, and I have no family history of any type of cancer, but what does that really mean?  Like everyone who did not have chemo, I worry about that one cell that may have escaped the surgery and the rads, but I don't lay awake thinking about it. 

This has been an interesting journey, one in which I have been proud, sad, scared, mad, dumbfounded, bitter, and thankful.  I'm almost exactly a year out from the end of treatment (except Tamox), and i feel better and better, but sometimes the "what if" fears find their way into my head.  I think each of us handle this journey differently.  Some of us Google everything and some choose not to.  Some want to talk to anyone about every time aspect of the whole thing and some are far more private and choose to never mention it again.  Both ways are right, and I think we just have to be true to who we are and not let others dictate or guilt us into handling this path the way "they" think is right. 

I do have one question and one thing that is worrying me.  As mentioned, I am a year out of rads and only taking Tamox at this time plus mammograms every 6 months.  No blood work at all which is weird to me.  Is there anyone else out there who is not having any kind of regular bloodwork at all?

God bless you all, you are all in my prayers.

I asked my MO why no blood work and she said it wasn't called for because the cancer had not spread to the lymph nodes so nothing would show up!?!