Met the oncologist 4 the 1st x today very frustrated

Ok granted I am not diagnosed with bc thankfully but I did have some questions regarding a treatment plan . My PCP referred me for that specific reason. I had a lumpectomy in Jan due to BND and chronic pain in my L breast and up in to my shoulder. Surgeon took a large amount of suspicious looking tissue out - path report dx ADH. Was told that due to my hx of being on HRT for 16 yrs, having very large dense breasts mammo & u/s haven't been useful diagnostically and being a DES daughter, my PCP advised me a consult with an oncologist would be the next logical step.

And I wanted to know whether any bloodwork specifically the blood test that can determine if your able to suppress tumors etc . She had t had a chance to review any of my medical records so she asked me to tell her why I was there to see her etc. when I asked her given my hx if a MRI would be warranted and she's said no yearly mammos and ultrasounds would be able to find anything suspicious - this is 10 seconds after I told her they failed to pick up a 10 cm x 4.5 cm x 2 cm mass of In my surgeons words "junk" When I explained to her that I needed a treatment plan in re the path report that dx said mass as ADH with none present at any margins, she said no you don't have ADH im it seeing that stated anywhere on here I had to tell her its the second line under diagnosis she looked at it again and said "Oh okay I missed that"' and she's skimming thru my surgical report and post op notes she asks me why I "enjoy going to the ER so frequently cause it says here you went 3 times over the course of ten days just because you had some bruising and one of those times was by ambulance just 5 hrs after you were discharged from the surgery center" well I told her I woke up from surgery in the most extreme pain I've ever had and pleaded with them to let me stay overnight because in 90 minutes 6 doses of hydromorphone was given to me thru my IV and I was still crying I was afraid to be sent home in that much pain. If IV pain meds aren't giving me any relief how was I to expect pain pills at home were going to help?? And I didn't just have some swelling and brushing I had a massive hematoma that was getting worse by the day I was running a fever and couldn't sleep my pain was so intense and I luckily I had taken a photo of it ( originally to send to my surgeon cause it was after hrs and I knew it wasn't normal but he refused to let me send it cause he was sure it wasn't any thing he hasn't seen before) so I pull it up on my phone and she immediately apologize that no that would be alarming and it must have been extremely painful (yeah I know smh)

Then I'm trying to ask her what she think my risk factor is and what I can do to lessen my chances etc and she tells me well since you had it removed "its obvious your risk factor of getting breast cancer is practically non exsistent "

Then she starts asking me all these personal questions about my life and how they relate to the whole reason I wanted a consultation with her I will never know. " how do you cope with your sons illness, who all lives with you, where does your daughter to to school, is my son able to work, do you ever get respite care for him, did you graduate high school, did you go to college, what's your degree in, did you ever work in that field, why not, do you have any family in town. are you in a romantic relationship, what's a normal day like for you, do you have any close friends that you could turn to if you were to ever develop bc, is that all your real hair, do you want to have any more children, where did you get that Coach bag it must have been a fortune how could you afford that and qualify for Medicaid, why do you take Ativan and how long have you been on it ?????????????

I can't you how upset I am that she didn't answer any of my questions, a huge waste of my time and I can only guess as to why she was so dismissive. Maybe I shouldn't have listed my sons disability and mental illness on the intake form. I don't know where she was going with all that, was she trying to determine if I had some type of disorder that caused me to have a rough recovery from the lumpectomy?? I did everything they suggested I never was rude or demanding or thought I knew better than anyone else, Its not my fault I couldn't get my reg bra or the extra sports bra I brought to wear after home from the surgical center, I asked to be ace bandaged, my daughter asked if they could ace bandage me to prevent swelling and support , they refused both times, no one warned me if I didn't compress the surgical site it would swell up and cause serious problems that would take weeks to resolve and its not my fault I had to have ER surgery 10 days after to evacuate the area or that I got a staph infection . But that's how I honesy felt when I left her office with none of my questions answered. Like I had caused all my post op complications and was over reacting about my path report. So there's my rant I'm just so upset and I'm no further ahead in understanding what I can do if anything to prevent myself from someday developing bc. ( Oh and the Coach bag I got at Goodwill in Boulder for $15, while my son was an inpatient at the hospital across the street) now I feel guilty for having one nice thing that's how much she frazzled my nerves