Life with a foob?!

Come to the thread  I look for Other Flat Women, A Rant.  There's lots of us who opted for no recon and go without foobs.  While many of us had BMX - I'm one - we also have uniboobers among us. 

Hi there, I am a recent "uniboober" my surgery was just 4 weeks ago and I have already decided not to reconstruct. I have no problem with the way I look naked, and neither does my husband. I don't view it as a disfigurement at all. My Mother had a Mx, and although I wasn't a child when she had it done, my Daughter was. She had no problem with it at all, lots of questions, but she was very accepting of it. Kids are amazing and are very accepting of things if presented in a positive way.

I read a beautiful comment written by another member when she described her Mother's Mx scar "like the curve of her smile" I think that is just lovely. 

I am in australia and we are experiencing a really hot summer, so I have been experimenting with clothes and foobs till I can be properly fitted in a few weeks for a real prosthesis. I have had great success with a cheap Ahh Bra from a department store that has pockets in it with small forms inside that you can remove. I have a foob that the Breast Nurse gave me which can have the stuffing removed to adjust to the size of the remaining breast. I am/was a D cup so not really small. It fits right in to this bra which looks a lot like a sports bra. I was going to suggest you try a sports bra, I cant say that you won't have a foob fall out while you are "downward dogging" but a few stiches to hold the foob in the bra could stop that from happening.

I have also had great succes with a sarong with the ends twisted ant tied around my neck. I pinned a swimsuit form inside that and you can't tell. I also made a short sarong out of a wide scarf that I can wear over jeans or capris.

Take your time with your decision, we all have different reasons for our decision to reconstruct or not. Don't be swayed by other people. 

Take care and good luck with whatever you decide! 

Ditto with what others have said. One hting at a time, deal with the cancer first.  Your decision when you are thru treatment may be different than now, and your thought process will be less clouded.  I had my MX just about a year ago, no reconstruction and not planning on it.  Ijust don't want to have unnecessay surgery.  Living with a foob can be a nuisance, just fine and very funny.  My kids are 19 and 14.  They haven't seen me without clothes since the surgery, they just don't want to.  If you are OK with how you look, your kids will be fine.  Everyone's adjustment to how they look is different, be patient with yourself.

Be well

Nel

The only drawback to the foob is always having to wear a bra. Of course, as a D-DD, I've always had to wear a bra. You can add a pocket to any bra you own. I made a nylon net foob and sewed it into my swim suit. It's not going anywhere.

I agree with stormynyte - I 've always hated bras anyway and only wore them when I was quite obviously in public. Hey, I'm a uniboober! love that. couldn't care less. I have a foob which i just tuck into a stretchy bra that I had before the mx, and after about 3 yrs i finally went to the real bra store & got a "prosthesis". I like my foob better. Much of the time I just camoflage as best I can - drapes on the bias, knots in jersey in the middle of a tee - layers - whatever I can get away with most comfortably. Soon as i walk in the door off comes the foob & the bra. I went swimming in the Caribbean last winter in my very nice one-peice bating suit and really, I didn't much care what anybody thought, had no foob, didn't care - like they're going to rush up and point at you? but would put a light shirt on when strolling the beach. At home, if someone comes to the door, it's just too bad. it's my house. but I don't wear, say, skin-tight tee-shirts either! just sort of camouflage stuff. I never considered reconstruction for i minute. all the rest was more than enough.

I haven't decided what I'm going to do yet.  I had my surgery in August and I'm currently sporting the uniboob look.  The Foob isn't so bad.  The one thing I don't like is that when I wear clothes you can see that one side is depressed on the top of my chest wall above the neckline of my shirt.  I don't particularly care for that.  Sometimes I think about surgery and then others I think I've already been through enough.  I have a bathroom like yours, where you can see yourself in the mirror when you shower.  It was shocking the first couple of times, but it doesn't bother me at all now.  My kids are 6 and 3 and they don't care at all.  They got used to things really quickly.  Sometimes they will ask my about my missing boob, but they aren't upset at all, just curious.  The three year old will bring me my foob and tell me that I forgot my boobie when I'm getting dressed in the morning.  So I really wouldn't worry about the kids, they adapt

Brandall, that is pretty funny that your 3yo brings the foob. Kids seem to take it in stride. An old friend of mine visited with her 11yo daughter not long after my mastectomy. I hadn't seen my friend in a long time and we ended up talking about it in front of the kid. I felt a bit bad, until the kid piped up that it sounded easier just to put something in your bra than to get recon.

I am uni boob but to me that makes it sound nice rather like the way pink prettifies breast cancer which I find an ugly disease and experience.  I HATE being lop sided and as someone with a back problem the weight difference of over 2lbs from one side to the other does affect me too so I would do recon in a heartbeat, but its not available to me....

Hi Carla,

People use the word foob (fake boob) to describe a false breast, i.e. a breast form of any kind. Over on the Reconstruction forum, they use it to describe their implants or flaps. I used to dislike the word but I've gotten used to it. I prefer it to prosthesis, which makes it sound as if I'm disabled because I didn't have reconstruction. But I tend to use the phrase breast form.

Recently on this forum, there's been a lot of emphasis on going flat after choosing not to have reconstruction. It's a great option for those who are comfortable with it and who like the look. I had a bilateral mastectomy and, while I often go flat at home, I always wear small breast forms (either silicone or non-silicone) when I go out. There really are a lot of breast form options out there. You can find some of the ones I and other women find most comfortable if you check out my non-profit website, BreastFree.org.

Regarding the puffy forms that come with the post-surgery cami, those are great immediately after surgery, when most women can't tolerate anything against their chest, but I found them to be shapeless and lumpy-looking, whereas unweighted foam forms have a more natural shape.

I refused to give up wearing the fitted tees I always liked before my surgery. I've found that while silicone is soft and gives a very natural shape, foam and other non-silicone forms can look very natural, too. Maybe not as huggable, but anyone who's hugging me tightly enough to feel my breast forms already knows all about the fact that I'm breast-free.

I am off to my appointment with the fitter today!

I have been waiting for the six week mark to be able to have a fitting for a prosthesis, and some nice bras. I love nice lingerie, and have seen lots that I like on the web. I am also really unterested in seeing the new advances in prosthesis.

My Mother had a radical Mx in '94. She didn't opt for reconstruction either, probably why I have no problem with it. She always looked so elegant when she was dressed to go out, but when she was relaxing at home, like me, she didn't bother with a foob.

I won't be considering reconstruction. I have no problem with the way I look or feel, but in saying that, I really don't know how I would have reacted to being told that it wouldn't be an option for me. I don't like being told the door is closed, so I do understand your feelings Lily.

I have spent a lot of time searching through Breastfree.org. It was a wonderful site for me to research before my surgery. I was very impressed with the photos, and the information given by the women on there.

I have just arrived home after my fitting. I couldn't be happier with the options I had and the lovely friendly lady who spent ages finding the right form and bras for me.

I didn't end up going with the attaching prosthesis that I was interested in because you can't wear it attached for at least six months after surgery, and then you can only wear it for short intervals to get used to it. I decided to go for a natural look, lighter weight for my first one. I will get into the attaching one later.

There were a lot of bra options, so I was really happy when I found there were several that were just like my favourite ones before the surgery. They are just cut a little higher, and of course they have the pockets. There was also a really nice cami with a built in bra and pockets which fitted beautifully and really looks natural.

When I left the shop, I had to meet my husband at the car park. I couldn't believe how real the foob felt as I walked. It moved in unison with the real one. My husband noticed it as I approached the car and said "Wow!That Works!"LOL

Couldn't be happier. I now have the option of looking totally natural with two boobs whenever I feel like it.

All in all a great day!

Another uniboober here. Just adding that I like my foob and wear it everyday until I am home for the day and take it offf. Most of that is because I just want to be bra free. 

I am an eight year survivor who chose no reconstruction after bilateral surgery.  My former breasts were large and heavy and I now use foam inserts ($35 each) and with swim suit use a fiber fill form.  My dr did need sewing lessons so I do consider it a deformity and refused to let my husband see.  Lumps,  bumps and flaps.... ug.  But,  I don't regret not having the reconstructions. 

I do have a funny story about the foam inserts.  Once at my GP he had a "student" taking vitals.  She placed the Steth over the foam insert and the look on her face was precious.  She couldn't hear a heartbeat.  :-)  So,  occasionally you can have fun. 

Ariom - i'm new to the chat room! i just wanted to say that i brought a gorgeous bikini and swimsuit from a company called Caleya http://www.caleya.co.uk/ they are really friendly ladies who run it and they made me feel confident again. its so important that after a mastectomy (and i've had both sides done) that we get to do everything we did before. i'm sure you agree! water aerobics is such fun - reading your chat has made me want to go back to doing it again.