Stage 3?

Lksher....I just marked 7 years since Dx.....AT least 3 tumors in right breast and node involvement....left breast was precancerous....had bilat with TE expanders...chemo, rads, AI's and ooph.   IT is very scarey, but BC Dx, even stage 3 is not an autmatic death sentence....there are lots of us gals who have been around for over 5 years who were Dx stage 3.    Our biggest risk factor for having breast cancer is being female!!!!  You will get through this....its one day at at time and sometimes one foot in front of the other.  There are lots of great gals here on bco....and I'm sure others will be posting their stories as well.  Keep visiting here and will try to help as best we can....sending you cyber hugs!!!

Hi there. I know it's scary being hit with a  stage III dx, but you will be ok. The Ca is contained to the breast and nodes, that's good.  PET scans are highly effective in determining visceral ( mets to organs) and bone mets. Not so good at picking up breast & nodes ( most likely because of the size)

Also a grade one is a slow growing tumor, which is also good.

The treatments that have today are so so much better then they were yrs ago. I speak from  experience, all the female memeber of  my family died from BC ( previous generation) and I was diagnosed over seven years with stage IIIC dx.

Take one day at a time, come here often for support and good info. DON"T google, lots of outdated info out  there. Be kind to yourself.

You will be ok!

BC is very unfair. Most of us can find no risk factors or family tendency. You WILL get through treatment successfully and be with your family for a long, long time. Treatment is doable and while there will be days of recovery, there will also be good days when you can live somewhat normally. There's a lot of good info here to help you.



I'm a Stage IIIc, over one year post final chemo and post surgery. I'll be one year from radiation at the end of April. I plan on being around a long time.



Hugs!

So sorry for your journey here! Where you are now is the worst part of the journey..terrifing!! I also had a grade 1 cancer, bilateral mastectomy first followed by dose dense chemo and rads. The surgery was not difficult for me. They have graments that help with the bags for draining which worked great for me as it was baseball season and I was not missing my sons baseball games. I took Chemo one at a time. After the first one I figured what days would be the hardest and which ones I would feel my best and planned my actives around that. Some days I thought no more Chemo for me, but by the time the next Chemo was due my fight was back and I did it again...you will too!! Rads was not difficult for me, but others say they were very tired. BC is a personal journey and each will experience it differently. As mom I really wanted to be active in my kids lives while in treatment, so that was my goal and thankfully I was able to fulfill! You will meet wonderful, strong and wise woman here at stage 111. We pull together and cheer each other on through this journey...don't feel alone..we are here!! Please, keep us up-dated on how you are doing....you will get through this!!

Hello

1 year dx today (and 1st post dx mammo later today).

Should I be celebrating? I don't feel like it.....still have to catch my breath when I realise I am stage iii

Wlil that ever go? 

Wintersocks....it does get easier with time....I scheduled CTS surgery on the one year anniversary of Dx so I would have a distraction....actually year 2 was hard for me...don't know why....but I just celebrated year 7!!!

LKSHER - It's hard to believe that you will get through this but you will. I had surgery one year ago Feb 15th. My MO said cure and I just focused on that. The journey isn't fun but keep your eye on the prize. There are lots of great and supportive women on BCO. Someone mentioned staying off the internet and I agree. Avoid it. It really messes with your mind. My friends on another thread here say "Keep on keeping on"! 

Lots of love and hugs!

Hi LK,

I feel your pain and I know things look bleak right now. The initial part of the journey is so hard and it sometimes feels impossible to keep the mind from going to the darkest places. I am stage IV. I won't go into every little detail (you can search my screen name and read my posts) but I had some rough months including a rare complication from port insertion. I am not the same, physically or emotionally, as before dx but remarkably, I am not that different. It took a while to get here, but with the help of a great medical team, Effexor and assorted other drugs as needed, my life is pretty normal. I have gained a bit of weight from meds, my boobs are silicone and my joints a bit achy BUT I work full time at a job I adore(1st grade teacher), became a grandmother, am planning younger dd's wedding and a cruise to New Zealand and Australia. Having stage IV is not what I envisioned and I know that someday it will get worse but it's not today! Please find a psychiatrist who has experience with cancer patients and take meds if appropriate. No shame and it may make a world of difference. You don't have to be positive and perky all the time but don't put your foot in the grave yet. Yes, some stage IV women are struggling and will lose the battle but many of us have years of good life to live and so do you. Please pm me for any support you need.

Caryn

LK, anytime, and feel free to PM me if there is anything I can help you with.

I think most of us could have written your post in the beginning....it is just so hard not to spiral down to a dark place.....you have children and all you want to do is be there to raise them.  You had visions of growing old with your husband and retiring to a wonderful place.  Right?

My children were in first, second and seventh grade....I honestly wasn't sure I would see them graduate elementary school as my tumor was 8 cm and I had at least 17 nodes positive. In a few months my oldest will graduate from college.... in the fall another one will be going into college and my youngest will be a junior in high school in the fall.  I now know that I will most likely see them all graduate from high school!  At the time that is all i had prayed for.  Now... I am trying to ask for a "re-do" on my prayers and hope to see them married with grandchildren.  ))))

Many more people are doing well with a stage III diagnosis.....life goes on.....

It is hard to do ......but don't let this cancer take any more from you than it already has....get your fight song on....do the chemo.... and then go back to doing what you have always done.  Before you know it....days, months and years add up.

Jacqueline

LK, you're in an impossible situation.  People tell us to be positive, not realizing that by doing so they are laying the fault on us when things go wrong.  Be positive and things will go well assumes that if they don't go well, you weren't positive enough.  We know that's crap.  This doesn't happen to people because they're not hoping for the best, the women who are Stage IV aren't Stage IV because they didn't do enough pink walks or self-talk enough about how they would beat this.  

Some of what you're afraid of may happen.  Some of it may not.  I think people's reaction is complicated - if they care about you they're afraid for you and don't want to think about the bad possibilities.  I don't know how many times I heard, "Did they catch it early?"  I was like socking me in the stomach.  No, "they" didn't catch it, and no, it wasn't early.  But they were just saying that because they wanted it to be true and didn't know what the words themselves would do to me.  If they haven't been there, most people are clueless.  I'm sure I was.  

What you're describing doesn't sound abnormal to me, it sounds like where I was.  I'm not going to say, "Yay, I'm cured!" because I do live with a certain level of fear.  It would be foolish to assume I've "beaten" this thing or "won" - my risk of recurrence is too high.  But, I'm going on with my life.  I'm there with my kids, I'm working.  The worst was the point where you are now.  

And yes, I didn't believe for a moment I was attractive as a skeletal bald woman, which is what chemo did to me.  You can't hide exhaustion and nausea with scarves.  But time passes and the body recovers.  I don't know what to tell you about how to get through it, except that there really are lots of us who have been there.

LK--I am glad that you told your sister what you thought and that you are honest about your emotions and the need to be alone for awhile. When I look back at the onslaught of the "cancer people"--well-intentioned friends and family that thought they knew what I needed--I wish I had stood up for myself and my needs more. I am a people-pleaser. I was thinking the other day that if I have a recurrence, I won't tell anyone so that they can't barrage me again, but that's not the best way to handle it.



Regarding attractiveness, I'll chime in as the others have to say that I feel attractive. I had a great wig, and having had curly hair, it was interesting to have straight hair for awhile. It's also incredibly easy to wear a wig versus doing your hair. Now I have hair again, but have chosen to keep it short because of the number of compliments I've received on it (it's hard to tell from my picture what it looks like, but it's more of a pixie cut. I have not had recon and am looking at some options now. There weren't any good options at the time of my bmx due to need for rads. Sometimes I do have down moments about the loss of my boobs and hair in private, but I've never felt bad going out in public, to work, etc.



In terms of treatment options, because you are having such a difficult time right now, perhaps you might have a trusted friend or family member who could look into the trials for you. You certainly do not have to do a trial. I was offered one but was scared of additional chemo. I will say that it was something I could not wrap my head around at the time. I knew nothing about BC, I had no history or risk factors, and I had years of benign mammos.



Best wishes to you, LK.