Need advice please 1st appt w PCP since lumpectomy

Thank you so much I for your advice !! I felt like I was better prepared and it really helped me calm down, which for me is sometimes a struggle before any of this started. And I was the last patient of the day so he spent over 45 minutes taking to us -I brought my daughter along she's almost 18 and would never had let me go alone she's very mature & level headed always has been So my PCP recommends sending me to see an oncologist whom ironically I had met before and I was very impressed with her -,my oldest son is disabled he has schizo affective disorder and Aspbergers one of the only medicines that has helped control his pychosis can cause your immune system to fail so monthly blood tests for past 5 yrs he's never had any labs come back abnormal its a rare but serious side effect this past September he had a 104 fever and nothing I gave him brought his temp down took him in they ran labs and his immune system markers were bottomed out so they admitted him to the oncology unit and pulled off all his psychiatric meds that was the scariest week of my life he's only 23 and such a great kid and to see him come unglued in order to figure out what was going on just about broke my heart anyhow that's how I met the oncologist I'm going to be seeing next wk she also took the time to answer all my questions addressed all my concerns etc he was so sick they were thinking of doing a bone marrow biopsy thank God in a few days his labs came back up to normal and they slowly added his meds back on board and he continued to improve they never figured out what caused that to happen but I felt like he was in good hands with her - I got the sense that she truly cared about as much as I did about him . To me personally that's a huge factor in deciding whom I'm going to let take care of my kids especially when its as serious situation as that was So ok getting back to me and getting a treatment plan going yes my PCP strongly urged me to stop taking my estrogen but I am on a very low dose and don't take it every day when I forget to take it for 4 or 5 days I am not right in the head I have trouble finding the right words I struggle to communicate I know it sounds bizzare but its how having no estrogen in my body affects me mentally. Like I have dementia and I get really emotional over the slightest things. Now I know that might sound assinine to think I'd rather be emotionally stable and be able to be articulate vs reducing my risk of developing cancer but I am the sole caregiver for my 23 yr old son whom is doing well and after yrs of hell is making some progress and has been stable , so if I come unglued he's overly empathetic and can become very obsessive over things so much so he can become paranoid so its not his fault its just how his brain works everything is either black or white it takes alot of discussion to get him to see the shades if grey and its emotionally draining on me and my other 2 younger kids so until I know for sure what I'm dealing with ill cut back as much as I can on the estrogen but there's no way I'd stop cold turkey . I've got to keep myself together and my PCP understood he just would feel better if I stopped completely . But I don't smoke drink take drugs I eat organically and keep my weight around 120 I'm 5 ft nothing and I think I have 10 lbs of breast tissue I'm a 34 DD some bras DDD so though this may sound totally insane I'd be willing to have a BMX if I could have reconstructive either done at the same x or shortly thereafter if it meant I could still take a very low dose of estrogen. My PCP was very surprised I was willing to go to that extreme but with my sons illness I have to be stable there is no one else willing to step up plus being his caregiver is my only source of income he requires 30 hrs a week of care from medication management to protective oversight. I've been struggling for yrs raising 3 kids all by self and trying to care for him until the social worker finally told me about a little none program that he qualifies for being disabled its been around for yrs would have been helpful to have learned about it 5 yrs ago when he really hit his lowest point and had a total psychotic breakdown so yeah my stress level over the yrs has been pretty high to say the very least but he's my son and he's not ever been violent or aggressive to anyone or anything if that were the case then no I would have to had him institutionalized. I would never put my other kids safety at risk or my own if he had any aggressive behaviors . I'm very realistic and have my priorities straight at least for me . It isnt easy sometimes but it could be so much worse. So thats what I'm seriously considering given the fact that I've always had too much boobage and I'd love to be able to not get constantly asked who did my augmentation but more importantly if I can reduce my risk dramatically now by such a huge percent then to me and for my families sake I don't really want to be living in fear I don't do well with what to me would feel like a 300 lb weight on my chest , so well see what the oncologist says and go from there Thanks for letting me vent and ramble on . I do so appreciate anyone's advice or differing opinion We've all got our own battles to fight and personal reasons for our decisions For me this just seems to be what feels right . Love & prayers of hope to you all

Elle