In shock

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited February 2013

    Dear Edi, it is the saddest thing that some people can go to church all their lives, quote the Bible etc. etc., and never get it. Your son sounds like a wonderful, caring person. You can be so proud of him and those GD's!

    Websister, I hope the potluck with your mom goes well, and that she will enjoy it. 

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited February 2013

    Caitlin, thanks for the info , weird re the water near the window part....did he say why? I drink cold water from the fridge only because it is so hot here I need to start sipping not gulping the water down with this heat...lol Interested to hear what your dietician says about 'soy' food, then we can compare notes!

    Dakota, hope your sports weekend is great and you are feeling great with no SE's. You're a trooper chicky x

    Websister, had a little more sleep this morning. Water Fights with DS while washing the car in the back yard...we had so much fun, I can still hear my DS laughing when he got mummy with the hose after he hid behind the car and got me....! Glad the infusion went better today and not as long .... :) Hope it all goes well with mum!

    Edi, your DIL sounds like my MIL......we should get them together....full of joy !! (not) !! Glad you had fun though despite her being there with your DS and DGD's . Did they play the guitar for grandpa ? Fingers crossed DH's bloods are good enough for him to continue driving the bus ( double decker ??)  Enjoy your DD's birthday party....have a piece of cake for me :) your brother still there to celebrate with you ?

    Nihahi, last chemo coming up, 27th Feb then 6th March to complete last cycle though tablets finish march 12. so under the 1 month mark....whoo hoo ...... bring it on I say !!! hows the alien, hope she's not giving you any grief !!

    Lifie, icing going ok for that eye of yours ?

    Adagio, hope you've got lots of movies to watch with all that extra steriods....or housework !! lol.... so long as the steriods do their job and you have no reaction then never mind, benadryl should get you sleepy ! in your pocket hun.

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited February 2013

    Hi everyone....sorry I've been MIA....dealing with my 26 yr old who had an abnormal ECG the other day. He has an appointment with a cardiologist next week so hope we can get to the bottom of it. He was born with a slight murmur so I'm praying that's the reason.....just a little drained at the moment plus a lot going on at school.



    Can't begin to post individually, but Edi when I read about your son, it brought tears to my eyes. May I have permission to call her a first class "bitch" .....sorry I don't often use this word to describe women. I've always said that you don't have to be a church goer

    to be a good "Christian"....I know so many wonderful caring people who have never stepped foot in a church and, of course, the reverse is also true. He is lucky to have wonderful supportive parents like you and your husband. I have an ex SIL who put my mother through hell and back at times. She eventually stopped my niece and nephew

    from seeing my mom for awhile.....broke my mother's heart...so be careful!!!!



    Everybody else....take care and have a wonderful weekend.



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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited February 2013

    Hi ladies will respond to u guys. Scottie -

    I work for a group of cardiologist I do cardiac ultrasounds. Please use me as a resource if I can help. What is abnormal.

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited February 2013

    Dakota...what a sweetie you are!!!!! I don't really know as I was not there but the doc

    showed him the graph of a normal heart and then showed him his and his graph had a slight "abnormality".. !!!!.. He is on an antibiotic right now and he also uses an inhaler

    for asthma. The antibiotic has to be taken once a day (two pills) but the ER doc didn't

    think there was any connection...He still doesn't feel right....just feels "funny" he says.

    His appointment is on Feb 22 so hope we can get some answers. WTH he is 26 and very healthy....eats all my organic food, works out and is very slim?????

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited February 2013

    Scottie-

    Don't panic could be normal for him if he has never had an EKG they would have nothing to compare it too. If u can find out some terms they used. I am happy to help.

    Edi- I so feel for ur DS, as that is the position I am in ( BC ok on Facebook not this :)) my not so DH doesn't have those qualities as ur son he has moved out again. :( I have serious decisions to make in my life. We ALL deserve happiness. There is no reason for people to be unhappy ! Ur DIL will see done day KARMA !!! Off to soccer !!! Love u girls !!!

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited February 2013

    Dakota sweetie....thank you, I will try to get more info next week. Dakota I'm so sorry

    you are going through this with your husband, as if we don't have enough to deal with with.

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited February 2013

    Scottiee, sorry to hear your son is going through what he is going through, I'm sure all will be fine with his test results. He will be in my prayers.

    Dakota,  .....what the hell, your not so DH moved out again? He can not keep doing this to you, you are a strong strong women, now that you have finished chemo, be gone with the bad and get rid of him girl....its you and your kids. He has not helped you with your BC journey one bit by the sounds of it ..... ( sorry I don't mean to sound pushy ) lol just he is horrid for what he is doing to your mind.....yes you do have to make choices now....you need to think and im sure thats all you are thinking about your kids and you......you know in your heart what the right thing to do is whether it happens now or later.....you need to look after yourself and those gorgeous sporty kids of yours ..... go go go soccer don't be late..lol

    Enjoy your weekend :) xx

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited February 2013

    Trail...thank you❤.....BTW you said all the things I was thinking for Dakota. She deserves so much more.....

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  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 982
    edited February 2013

    Thanks for the well wishes everyone - just setting off for my day at chemo - will let you all know how it goes.

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited February 2013

    Dakota, change all the locks, and don't let him back into your house. He can't keep on doing this. If he chooses to leave, then he should go away and stay away, and give you a chance to put your life back together. Big hugs to you! I'm so angry with that man right now.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited February 2013

    So many thanks. U will all love this.... He told me Thursday that he is leaving today for Florida. Told me to find someplace for the kids. He has the week off he is in the education field. My kids are off I have to work cuz I have no vacation time or sick time. While he is in sunny Florida.

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited February 2013

    No he has not been supportive at all. He never came with me to even one chemo. I went by myself. Shhhh I did make an appointment with a lawyer. This is no way to live. Breast cancer is the easiest thing I have been thru.

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  • caitlin61
    caitlin61 Member Posts: 214
    edited February 2013

    Dakota, if he can't be there each and every step of the way while you're going through this ordeal, then he doesn't deserve you.  He should check his marriage vows.  I realize dealing with cancer is VERY hard on our partners too, but being with somebody who can't step up to meet the challenge will do you no good in the long run.  Many people say that cancer gives them an opportunity to reset their lives, in terms of who and what will stay in it going forward.  So sorry that you have to face all this - but I am certain you will come through it all, a stronger and happier version of your former self.  All the best to you!

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  • Scottiee1
    Scottiee1 Member Posts: 2,329
    edited February 2013

    Dakota, he truly doesn't deserve you .....take Liefie's advice and change the locks!!!!!

    It seems you are getting nothing from this man...no support, love....how insensitive to go off to Florida without helping you to make arrangements for the kids.....I'm so sorry you are going through this.

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  • 46andsingle
    46andsingle Member Posts: 49
    edited February 2013

    Liefie, Your words helped. Thank you for being here! 9 weeks til surgery makes me feel less like they are "jerking me around" to generate money.

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited February 2013

    46andsingle, you are so welcome. Glad I could make you feel better!

    Dakota, hats off to you for going to see a lawyer! What a wise woman you are, but then again you have proved it to us here long ago. For all intents and purposes you are single already, so start planning your life and future without this useless 'prince', and wash him right out of your hair. (Do you have any at the moment? LOL.) But you get my drift. Don't allow him to jerk you around EVER again. You will be way happier on your own, and it will be much better for the kids too once the stress levels go down. You go girl - so proud of you!! 

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  • 46andsingle
    46andsingle Member Posts: 49
    edited February 2013

    Dakota,

      Sounds like you have made some great friends here.  From what I've read, you are going to be sooooo much better off without the guy!  Yesterday I thanked God I was divorced, as I thought of how my ex husband would be making my situation so much worse! lol

      I have talked with about 5 survivors over the phone since my dx. One had suffered through a very agressive cancer that was HER2 and had alot of things go wrong along the way. After a Doub MAST and rad and chemo, she caught her husband cheating!  What a guy, huh?

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  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited February 2013

    Hi girls. Thank u all so much. This is the hardest thing I have ever done but I know it is what needs to be done. I have taken a picture of each post so when I start to doubt myself I will re read everything probably about a thousand times. I have to wrap my head around the fact that I am upset about my hopes and dreams more than a lying cheating not so DH!!!

    I hope all u ladies are having a great weekend. And no I don't have hair :) but I did just get two new wigs :) love to all.

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  • liefie
    liefie Member Posts: 2,440
    edited February 2013

    Dakota, you had expectations, hopes and dreams for your family like any other normal person would have. It is really sad that your DH is such a dealbreaker. He does not deserve you, and has proved that he's not going to change. Better to let go, and to start a new life on your own with your children. You will be way better off without him. Big hugs!

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited February 2013

    Dakota ..yeh go girl another step forward making an appt with the lawyer :) this man does not deserve u or his own kids....going to florida...what the!! Hmmm that is all...i. better not post what i really think of him...i might get banned from the forum...lol xx

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited February 2013

    Adagio.....sending you hugs and strength. You will get through this and amaze yourself with what you can overcome. 

    Dakota....We are not in your shoes, we have never met.....but there is a special place for your "husband", and that is NOT IN YOUR LIFE OR IN YOUR KID'S LIVES!!!!!! You have hopes and dreams and joy and love that you cannot even imagine at this point, but you cannot find those with that piece of scum attached to you. He is NOT there for you, and obviously is also NOT there for your children. I am so glad you have taken that first, difficult step and sought legal advice. It will be difficult, but you have been through so much already, you will make it through this too, and come through into a much better place. 

    In the mountains today, I was stunned to see some hot air balloons. They are not unusual around Calgary, but I've never seen them in the mountains. I'm taking it as a message to all of us, that there is a "new, amazing view of life" just waiting for us to have the courage to open our eyes. These photos are my gift to Dakota, Adagio, Benny, each and everyone of us. Love to all.

    l

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited February 2013

    Liefie, I have sent you a PM about the diep thread

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  • adagio
    adagio Member Posts: 982
    edited February 2013

    nihahi - what beautiful photos - and a great analogy about the hot air balloon being a new amazing view of life for all of us after we get through this journey.

    As you said - my treatment went smoothly - they put it in extra slow for the first 35 minutes - turned out to be over 6 hours at the cancer agency - but totally worth it to prevent another reaction. I have so many steroids in me that I hope I will get a bit of sleep tonight. But right now I don't feel tired at all.

    Dakota - my heart is with you going through family issues in addition to breast cancer - that sucks.

    Thanks again to all for your warm thoughts and wishes.

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited February 2013

    wow, 6 hours Adagio, but oh so glad that there was no reaction this time around :) I hope you get some sleep tonight, perhaps start counting sheep now.......then you might fall asleep but bed time....lol

    Love the pics Nihahi, hope you're feeling well !

    Edi, how you going, did you have a big drinking session last night for DD's b'day........? Hope it was a great night and you are of course sleeping right now and not on the bar at the pub ( 3am your time now ) !! lol xx

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  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited February 2013

    Hey Traii.....The alien isn't happy, but I know it's because of the activity of the day. Sooooo worth it though! I'll be back on the "peas" tonight, almost makes me a vegetarian don't ya think! 

    Caitlin..there are so many theories about soy and estrogen positive tumors. I'm interested in what info you are given by the people you are talking to.

    Edi..you've certainly earned the right to be "sensitive"....your dil sounds like a horrible person. So hard, as it puts a real roadblock in the ability to enjoy visits with your son and granddaughters. She needs to be "outed" in front of people who can put her in her place! Is your hubby aware of what she says to you? I can't imagine he would put up with that for very long. Hope you had a better family time with your daughter.

    46....good to see your post. Hang in there. 

    Websister, hope tomorrow goes well for Mom AND you! Any word on your rad start date yet?

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited February 2013

    oh no Nihahi, no the alien giving you trouble again !! Well so glad it is worth it, looks like you had an amazing day :)

    Yes, definetely makes you vegetarian, between the corn and the peas, we'll be sure to start calling you stir fry soon....lol

    Hope you have a great night and go easy on the alien....she'll be better soon enough :)

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  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited February 2013

    Adagio - so good to hear that chemo went well today, hope the steroids don't keep you up all night



    Nihahi - beautiful pictures and I like the message of the balloons. I start rads on Thursday the 21st. Mom called today to make sure everything is in place for tomorrow, she's pretty excited.

    Hope you aren't up all night with the alien, get those peas defrosted ;)



    Traii - looks like it is afternoon there? Is DS napping? Take care

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  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited February 2013

    Hi Glorious Girls xx
    Bounced out of bed at 6.30 am to catch up on my favourite people, feel wired but no steroids so think it is just life force lol
    Had a super day with DD at nearby pub, I know it sounds like I am a raving alcie but they are the best places these days to take families for food. We had a comfy booth with little TV in to keep GD's amused. Great food and NO booze honest !
    Real fun girly time, of course they need to go to loo every five minutes, Nana tags along to make sure they are ok. In they go, loo flushes out they come, hands washed thoroughly then blow dried. They love this routine and so proud of them, real grown up ladies now lol.
    I made a plate of choc chip cup cakes with candle in middle one and much singing of Happy B/day to you ensued.
    Later I had youngest GD for a few hours while her Mum went to Liverpool
    She came to supermarket with me, insists on pushing trolley and then carefully picks any fruit and veg etc for me. Takes everything out of trolley to put on belt then puts it all back at the end.
    Lovely elderly couple watched her and said they wished they had a little one just like her. God is good and I am blessed.
    All decorating of bedroom done ! joy to wake up this morning with what I call the BC wallpaper gone. I used to stare at the flippin stuff when out of my mind with worry when all this started.
    Carpet, new bed etc week after next as bathroom being started tomorrow and too many people in my tiny house otherwise lol.

    Liefie, hope your eye nearly back to normal.

    Dakota, would never even think of mentioning this on f/b don't worry.Hope you are seeing that lawyer whilst that bxxxxxd is hopefully getting sunstroke in Florida. Would love to see his face when you tell him you are moving on.
    Two new wigs ! you are worse than me, I will miss the choice every morning when hair comes back lol. Looked in mirrir last night and it is defo growing, about an eigth of an inch, but all over and hard to see as snow white.

    Scottie, Sure your son will be fine but thoughts are with you.Advice on DIL so true, that is why I haven't given her the Glasgow kiss ( headbutt ) the bxxxh would stop us seeing the kids I realise that. One day I am afraid that I will let go, but softly softly catchy monkey right now.

    46and single, 9 weeks will fly by, things in your body will just stay the same. If they had the slightest doubt you would be in there now. Just spend the time building your strength. Getting everything in the house organised so you can rest and look after yourself then.

    Adagio, Well done !! the girls on her know their stuff, make the most of the steroid high and rest when you can, hope minimal se's for you.

    Nihahi or stir fry lol. Balloon pics gorgeous< my dh had a flight in one for his 50th and still raves about it.
    Shame we can' put Dakota's not DH and your Alien in one and take away the let the air out and come back down part.
    DH does know all about DIL but like me treads softly. She has been know to actually hit my boy. sob, and is sooo irrational I fear for his safety if we antagonize her.
    Hope Alien nicely chiled.

    Websister, hope visit with Mum goes well.Rads on 21st getting there !

    Traii,Water fights are such fun, GD's adore the hose if and when we get any heat here. I have a large plastic mat with holes in and when you attach it to a hose sprays come up and they dance in the little fountains, pure joy to watch.
    Had a cake for you, you did enjoy it lol.
    My bros couldn't be here but we will get together again soon.
    No booze while on CMF, but soda water did the trick yesterday.

    Will finish before this flippin lot vanishes into cyber space.

    Love to all xxxx


     

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  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited February 2013

    Websister, sure was on here while DS did his 2 hour snooze this arvo....oh the peace and serenity when he is recharging those batteries of his, I swear he must of been a bunny in his passed life ( energizer bunny just keeps going and going and going)! lol...I'm going on 4 hours sleep again....DH and I stayed up watching movies last night until well, this morning 3am...crazy i know but it was so good and then of course DS decided to wake at 8am....too hot today..and again tomorrow, well all week...lol

    Edi, we use to have the mat where you connect the hose to when we were kids.....we use to get dishwashing liquid and poor it on there then slide on it........lol nice and slippery!

    Of course you didn't drink last night....lol I haven't drunk for a long time.....we can have fun with no alcohol....Pubs are the best places to take kids, we have play rooms in ours here and thats where we need to go now a days....no fine dining for us anymore with DS...lol....

    Your family sound gorgeous, GD's, daughters, brother and yes, good on you for being proud of them all.

    Enjoy your Sunday and your cuppa (no doubt) .... xx

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