food spoilage test

FOOD SPOILAGE TEST

Finally, a way to know what to throw-out and what to save!

EGGS:
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably
past its prime.

MAYONNAISE:
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS:
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in
your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled -- (or wrecked anyway) by
the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

EXPIRATION DATES:
This is NOT a marketing ploy to encourage you to throw away perfectly good
food so that you'll spend more on groceries. Perhaps you'd benefit by having
a calendar in your kitchen.

MEAT:
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block
radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

BREAD:
Sesame seeds and Poppy seeds are the only officially acceptable "spots" that
should be seen on the surface of any loaf of bread. Fuzzy and hairy looking
white or green growth areas are a good indication your bread has turned into
a pharmaceutical laboratory experiment.

FLOUR:
Flour is spoiled when it wiggles.

SALT:
It never spoils.

LETTUCE:
Iceberg lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the
vegetable crisper without Comet. Romaine lettuce is spoiled when it turns
liquid.

CANNED GOODS:
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a softball should be
disposed of. Carefully. Very, very carefully!

RAISINS:
Raisins should not be harder than your teeth.

POTATOES:
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

CHIP DIP:
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has
gone bad.

EMPTY CONTAINERS:
Putting empty containers back into the refrigerator is an old trick, but it
only works if you live with someone or have a maid.

UNMARKED ITEMS:
You know it's well beyond prime when you're tempted to discard the
Tupperware along with the food. Generally speaking, Tupperware containers
should not burp when you open them.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a goldfish.
Keep a goldfish nearby your refrigerator to gauge this.