January 2013 chemo group

Mandy,



May all of your treatments be uneventful...... heck let's make them down right BOOORRRRINNNGGGG....

MandyNJ,

Glad you cleared the elephant in a tutu up I was so asking for the same meds you were getting LOL.

Yep the nurse and the stress level. No one and I mean no one will ever understand what we feel until they experience cancer too. Not only the fear, the hope, the unknown, the gratitude (yes alot of that for me, weird huh), the difference in medical opinions, and then the friggen treatment on top of all the rest. There is no number high enough to describe the stress, or the relief when we get through each step.

Hugs to all, Sheryl

I had headaches every morning for the first 2 weeks this time around. I don't know if it was because my naked head is cold or from SEs. No headaches the first time around but I had hair for that one.

Today is pre-chemo shopping day. I think I have my list nailed down from what I needed the last two rounds. So, to the store I travel!

Anyone else having some depression? I'm typically not a depressed person which is why I think I am noticing it. I've never taken meds for anything like this. I have always just made myself snap out of it. Not so much these days. I am feeling just blah. I am tired of being a patient, feeling icky, knowing all of this affects my whole family. I cant imagine what this is doing to my DS and DH. I miss my before cancer life. I know I have tx on Friday and I am dreading it. I hate that I have these massively toxic drugs pushed into my veins. I hate that I have all the other drugs to take so I don't get sick. I am not one for medication. And now everyone talks about survival rates after 5 years, 10 years... 5 YEARS, 10 YEARS??? wait a minute...I need more like 30 years.  Oh, and then there are the people who feel compelled to tell you about the person they knew who had breast cancer and DIED. REALLY??? thanks, way to boost my spirits. jackass. I plan on telling my MO that I am feeling depressed. I hope she might have something for me. This suck moose balls. That was my little pitty party for myself, only you ladies would understand.

Nicole- thanks for the phrase "the only wayout of the chemo valley is through the chemo valley". A very true statement.

Debbie I have to say I'm with you completely on the poisonous crap in my veins. And you're farther along than me due to my snafus. My very natural crunchy hippy chiropractor, who I don't think believes in chemo, which is another post entirely...anyway, he very supportively said,if you're going to choose this path you have to go all in. I'm the kind of girl who doesn't take Tylenol, so it's incredibly hard on me as well. I'm sure my post isnt all that helpful. I'm just trying to say, to a certain extent, we have to go through this hell to ensure we're there for our babies, our husbands, ourselves. And we just gotta say eff it and accept it. No regrets. We tried it all. Sending you lots of hugs and love. And a beer to take the edge off

Re: natural vs. chemo - about a month ago I was telling a friend of mine about some other acquaintances who I could tell were put off (?) by me doing chemo versus choosing more natural "cures."  (note: I know these people mean well but it's a whole other ballgame when the cancer shoe is on your own foot). 

Anyway, this friend of mine replied with the following (note: she is triple positive like I am):

During her first bout with breast cancer in 2006 she met three other women on a message board (not this one) who were also triple positive.  Two of them refused chemotherapy and she and one other woman chose chemotherapy, radiation, etc.  Unfortunately, the two women who chose to go the other route are no longer alive.  My friend and the other woman (who did do chemotherapy) are still alive.

I realize that's a harsh story to read first thing in the morning or any time of the day but the reason she relayed the story is because she could tell I was getting that almost unspoken guilt trip about taking the chemotherapy route.  As an aside, I was one of those people who was more afraid of chemotherapy than I was of having a double mastectomy so the vibe I was getting from these other people was really just reinforcing my own worries.

In addition to Nicole's chemo valley quote the story above is one I think about several times a week.  

I also think about my port surgeon who had some kind of a stomach cancer/lymphoma ten years ago.  He went through chemo with the same oncologist I go to now and ten years later he is still doing port surgeries Monday through Friday - just like he did throughout every day of his chemotherapy treatments.  

--

Mandy, my husband used to add something similar to his yogurt. 

Hi all,

I've learned a pretty powerful lesson from all of this..... IT'S UP TO YOU...... you just can't listen to other people's opinions and fears and stories....  You have to listen to your doctors, do your research, and make your own decisions.

When I started this journey I was shocked at the way the doctors basically laid out my options and then left it up to me .... for example they all agreed that lumpectomy was a safe option for me.... but they also offered double mastectomy if it would make me feel better in the long run...... but since my absolute worst fear is surgery and hospitals I went with lumpectomy as an outpatient..... but was that the right choice...... YES for me it was.

And then chemo...... I was again given the full range of choices..... full chemo, no chemo, or weekly TH..... my MO leaned towards some type of chemo but she was also okay with none..... what a choice..... my loving family and friends all had advice and ideas mostly leaning towards no way...... and I really struggled with what to do.... I mean they got the cancer with the lumpectomy so I AM cancer free.... right????   What kind of idiot does chemo if they don't have cancer...... (I still struggle with saying I have OR had breast cancer)..... and IF by some small chance it comes back in my breast I'd do the mastectomy.....

But I did my own research and learned all about distant mets and how it can come back in other places, and how agressive HER2+ can be..... so I went with weekly TH (still couldn't talk myself into the whole enchilada).... and I'm hoping that I'll be "cured" but who knows....... (but boy will I be p***ed if it comes back anyway)

I'm headed to my 5th of 12 today and as always hoping for the best..... but at least for now I'm okay with the decisions I've made and I just have to remember when other people are giving opinions you truly don't know what you're talking about unless you have to join this club (and I truly wish we could deny any additional members).

Ladies you have given me the boost I need as I step up the bar today for FEC # 2.  Don't the Irish call F*uck Feck?  Well, I reckon this stuff has this acronym for a reason!

Like you all, I have heard from people how terrible chemo is.  I met a random lady in a cafe the other day who was sitting next to me.  She started chatting to me, and I found out she had BC and was diagnosed at 61.  She declined chemo and began to tell me how terrible it is, how people die from it, how she was never going down that path etc..  Gee, just what I needed to hear.

Shannon, Mandy et al, I am like you.  I have 2 young kids, lymph node involvement, a massive family history despite no BRCA and if chemo increases my chance of survival by 0.001%, I am going to take it.  I want 40 years!  I want to see my kids become adults and be a grandma someday.  I was not diagnosed at 60, but 40.  For me it is a no-brainer.  So get f*cked all of you anti-chemo people who feel it is your prerogative to tell us it is a bad choice. Up yours! 

I am a 1972 baby too.  January for me.  So I am already a year older.  One of the ‘youngies’. Although my head is hanging onto lots of greys which are making me feel ancient J

Debbie, depression is TOTALLY normal with this ordeal.  I had bad post natal depression after my first baby which luckily I kept at bay after #2 with counselling. I have been seeing a psychiatrist who specialises in PND since my daughter’s birth to keep it at bay and am still seeing her through treatment. I figure I need to be as armed as possible to keep the black dog away.  Many women are prescribed antidepressants during chemo and Tamoxifen as it plays havoc with our emotions.  Thankfully I haven’t needed them yet but am dreading the hormonal changes that will come with the early menopause I am expecting. These changes have been my trigger in the past.  If I need anti-depressants, I will take them when the time comes.  But one day at a time…… Definitely tell your onc about your depression and get on to it early.  You are a trooper and almost at the end of the tunnel – hang in there and don’t be too hard on yourself.  We have all been to hell and back with this diagnosis.

Big hugs to you all and I hope to emerge from my bunker quickly after this round.

Jubby xox 

Hi all, new to these posts. Had lumpectomies on 2 lumps same side, one 3cm aggressive and into at least one node, the other dcis and smaller. My biggest fright was chemo. On Feb 4th, I had my last of 6. I had TC and plenty of side effects. I get migraines regularly, so pain wasn't ever very far from me. But this is a different ball game entirely, full of insults and injustices, and unrelated sisters you may never meet, but who will hold your hand and help pull you up.



A week out of my last chemo, my nails are gross and still may yet fall off. My mouth is dry and everything tastes gross. The chemo also caused some massive reflux and I can only take in so much fluid or food before it reappears. Dr put me on Reglan, along with Omeprozol, which has helped, but it's not perfect.



I hadn't heard of the icing your nails during chemo thing, so it wasn't an option for me. Too bad, it may have helped.



If anyone else has nail issues or reflux and things that worked for them, please post!



Acw110

Regarding white blood count, I was 4 when I started.  And 4 afterwards.  For some reason, I'm always a 4.0.  I think one time during chemo it went down to 3.0, but the range on my report says 4.00-11.00 is normal.  My chemo regime stayed on track.  I was also a 4 before surgery and a 4 after surgery.  

Hi ACW110 - welcome to our boards and congrats on finishing the chemo on Feb 4th!  That is awesome!

I had the same combination you had CT (Cytoxan and Taxotere) x 4.  I had a weird black spot on my toe, and when it finally grew out it broke at the point where the black was.  I got some weird bumps on both hands (the back of) during treatment that got progressively worse each treatment and had to go to the dermatologist. I didn't know about all of these things tips that everyone has posted on here -- not even Claritin.  I did have the Neulasta though.

Lisa, re: pain in stomach - yes, I had that the first time.  It was more of a burning the first time. For the second round I started on the generic form of Prilosec.  

For the second round I had discomfort later in the cycle.  

Bren58 (December chemo group) mentioned the stomach burning/pain as well and said it was a bit less with her second treatment. 

Chemo goes after rapidly dividing cells and from what I understand - our alimentary/digestive tracts are one of those places with rapidly dividing cells. 

I've found that Pepto Bismol has helped somewhat but as with anything else, be sure to check with your own oncologist. 

I hope it goes away for you soon.

Paula,

Thank you so much for posting that. I had researched as much as I could find and could only come up with either the Aloxi or the drips running to fast. I will insist they infuse them slower. We shall see but I will definitely follow up post after my next chemo 2/21.

Hugs, Sheryl

Hey all,

Just want to post something that is working for me. I have been diligent about brushing my teeth and rinsing my mouth with the baking soda/salt/water rinse about 4 x per day. Other than a bit of burning at times and crappy taste buds no sores. Well since chemo started I have had a sore in each nostril that has driven my nuts. I finally bought the NeilMed nasal rinse with baking soda/salt/purified water and it seemed to help but only came with two packets. The instructions said to either boil water or use purified water for refills. Well I boiled water and let it cool, added baking soda/ salt and have been irrigating my nose daily for two days. The sores are pretty much gone and my sinuses feel so much better.

Baking soda is safe to drink we have our dialysis pt. mix it in water when their blood bicarb is to low. We know salt is safe to ingest so the only caution is to not aspirate it into your lungs.

By all means check with your doctor before trying but it is what is in the sinus rinse pre-mix and so far I am ok.

Hugs, Sheryl

deebella,

Welcome to the place no one wants to come to. You will find this forum to be the best place you visit if you are looking for compassion, empathy, understanding, love, honesty and so much more.

Hugs, Sheryl

Hi Ladies , 

Thank you for answering my posts about kneck pain after port placement it helped to know that it will eventually go away. Was scheduled for blood work today but the doc wanted to wait due to the stapples in my chest area are a little red so he put me on an antiobtic. He asked me how I was doing after my first chemo session and I explained nausea is very little no bone pain as of yet . My tumor is getting smaller he is very pleased . 

Now I need to vent maybe someone is in a somewhat same sittuation . I am so sick and tired of people mentioning the word death when they hear cancer and yes it is true we All are going to die thats life but you know what I be damned if I am going to let cancer be the cause . Sometimes I get depressed and sometimes I cry because people are so thoughtless and cruel . It is not an easy task to battle this disease but if you are a strong person of faith then you know where your help comes from . Not everyone believes in GOD but I do and with HIM I can do all things . 

The last person that told me that if I dont take care of myself I wont be here after making the mistake of telling them of my chemo I told them that dying is not an option . It just proves my point before they knew my circumstance nothing like that was ever mentioned . Ladies , yes I know it is emotionally and physically challenging to deal with what we must endure with this disease but I am here to tell you , Do not let another person dictate your life because it is very disencouraging and I stay far away from those type of people. 

What I have learned is to smile more , think positive thoughts and yes meditation of seeing myself well daily helps me get through . When you start to ignore the  ignorant comments people make they will shut their blow holes up . My daughter went through this recently venting to a co-worker who she thought she could trust she got the same response as I did . My daughter said Ma , if it were not for the fact we were at work I would have bashed her good and that same co-worker who said I might not be here says to my daughter a few days ago your mom does not even look sick . So I am very careful now of who I vent to .

Thanks for reading if you did 

Fighter