January 2013 chemo group

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  • gr8flmama21
    gr8flmama21 Member Posts: 31
    edited February 2013

    Little tired still but still wired from steroids. Tomorrow will be crash night if last week was any indication. Stomach issues better this week. Moved out of my house for night at least after DH called telling me he was bringing home stomach bug😖 thank goodness my sister has spare room for me.

    Shannon my hair is short normally. My friend cut it for me nite before tx 1 sides pretty much tight but left me bit up top that still frosted. Maybe 1.25" long. Figuring if i Am going to lose it will be in next week or two.

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  • cancernoway
    cancernoway Member Posts: 90
    edited February 2013

    Mandy - Thoughts are with you and do what you need to do regarding the Xanax.  I understand your fear, but at this point you have that right and you also have the right to "tone" it done with meds.  You are a very strong woman and I admire you. 

    Re:  Mouth Sores - I brush after every time I eat, as well as swish with the salt/baking soda/water solution about 6 times a day.  I also swish with Biotene which doesn't contain alcohol several times a day also.  It is protein and enzyme rich as well. 

    As for taste buds, mine are hosed.  Anything spicy tastes like pure salt.  I can't use mustard, ketcup, etc or it burns my tongue and tastes like salt.  I don't have any sores, just a tenderness with certain foods.  I can drink the hell out of some smoothies though and they are delish!  For some reason, yogurt tastes the same and when I make a smoothie, no matter the flavor, I can actually taste them.  Most warm food has no taste.  Just filling the gap in my belly.  I'm a week out from TX #1 and my next is Valentines Day.  I hope I have a few days of taste buds in between.  I don't have a metal taste, just no taste.  Oh yeah, and my lips are finally "coming back".  They have been sort of numb since TX.  In the last week, I've lost 6 pounds, but most of those were on hell day #3, just haven't gained any back yet. 

    I hope everyone is having a better day and SE's are at a minimum.  For those of you bellying up to the bar tomorrow, good luck and treat the IV'y Leaguers well. 

    I saw this poster today and thought I would share it. 

    comfort zone 60 Inspiring Quotations That Will Change The Way You Think

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  • cancernoway
    cancernoway Member Posts: 90
    edited February 2013

    Oh yeah, and here is the picture of Jedi Knight King Clancey.  He carried the Light Sabre and all.  Gotta Love him!

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  • Bryona
    Bryona Member Posts: 214
    edited February 2013

    Shannon, I cut my hair sort but still normal the day after first tx, thinking that it would help me mentally prepare for the even-shorter to come. I always planned to buzz once the hair started to really fall, just because I don't want the scalp pain some peopel feel to get any worse than it had to on me. Well, I started shower-shedding in earnest yesterday, and it was even worse today, so I decided it was time. I had no grand plans. I stopped at the barber after my Neulasta shot and asked for the clippers. My sister and a friend came along to take pictures and make fun of me, too. Wanna see? (Warning: These pictures are posting HUGE! It's really not because I think I'm so heart-stoppingly beautiful...)

    First, the 5 minute mohawk (not fully styled -- she tried to make it spikey, but that would have taken a long time and a lot of blowdrying...). Wow, I haven't looked like that since 1985...well, and 1986, and maybe again in 1992...

     

    And here's the full bald. Well, baldish -- they didn't take out the actual razor, just the clippers.

    And, while I had all sorts of grand plans for wearing hats (I have a half-dozen really cute ones), all I want to wear is my buff and a warm hat one of my student knitted for me. Slob by nature, I guess. :)

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  • cancernoway
    cancernoway Member Posts: 90
    edited February 2013

    Bryona you look amazing!  Absolutely BEAUTIFUL!!!

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  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited February 2013

    Bryona, ditto to what cancernoway posted!  Beautiful!  Wow, it's all so even and you look so healthy and serene! 

    Is that your hair stylist standing back and surveying his work?  

    --

    Shannon, I started out with a little past shoulder-length hair and then had it cut to a what you see in my avatar two weeks ago.  That haircut lasted about week.  

    Now I have this male-pattern half-@$$ed baldness/dark-haired ostrich/ran through the weed whacker or salad shooter look.  Nothing as organized as what Skigirl and Bryona have exhibited.  Perhaps if I had shaved/buzzed sooner but somehow I doubt it.  

    I've been wearing Buffs out and about.  I bought three at REI - have two on borrow from a friend and have two coming in the mail.  And then there's my Cousin It wig.  And a gray turban-looking thing I bought at the "Appearance Center" at the cancer center.  I also have a lot of scarves that I can use as well.  

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2013

    Bryona~I love the look on you. You ROCK!!!



    Paula

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  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited February 2013

    cancernoway, I was so bowled over by bryona's photos that I forgot to say how handsome your nephew is!  He kind of reminds me of the actor Ryan Gosling (or some actor).  Thanks for sharing!

    ETA (Ryan Gosling)

     

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  • Nicole503
    Nicole503 Member Posts: 295
    edited February 2013

    Bryona ~ that IS a fantastic photo.  Hoping that you don't have too much stubble pain as those tiny little buggers abandon ship in the days to come.

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  • VirginiaJ
    VirginiaJ Member Posts: 13
    edited February 2013

    Cancernoway -- I love the photo of your nephew.  He looks like a delightful young man.

    Bryona -- You look amazing -- thanks for posting your photos. 

    LeeA -- Your mention of the Cousin It wig cracked me up.  How about a photo of that?

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  • Sandra60
    Sandra60 Member Posts: 201
    edited February 2013

    Bryona - u look smashing !!! Is that brit enough for your hubby ? Wish I was as brave - I wear scarves at at home but the minute I go out, i put on my wig . Gotta get a buff though - those look very sporty and comfy !

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2013

    LeeA, on subject of scalp pain. My GF and I have been comparing notes. She shaved her head with me and we have both been facinated to find that she has a lot of the same symptoms I did. So, a lot of that must be from the foliciles going into stress and not from the drugs. She would call me to say that her hair literally hurt. Well, I thought that was just a chemo thing, but obviously not. That has subsided in the last week, but now she is getting a crisp sensation as though having put menthol all over her head. She is not doing anything else or out of the ordinary to her buzz cut now. Just very interesting that the sensations were similar.

    Watta, way to go DH! What a great person he is for taking such good care of you.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2013

    gr8flmama21 that's great you have an alternative hut. If only my co-workers would stay home now when they are sick. I had three come over to me today to discuss work. When the first one coughed I asked "are you sick?" and she replies "Oh, yes I should keep my distance shouldn't I?" Oh, well why the hell would you bother now that you coughed all over my workspace. The next one came creepy along the far wall, trying to make it obvious she was avoiding me, but then left her hand-ridden contract in my inbox. Okay, really? After the third one came by I asked my boss to send out her typical flu email, but then to add a clause to "stay the hell away from Melissa".  Phone and email work just fine. 

    cancernoway, that is like my screensaver on my computer:

    comfort zone

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2013

    Bryona, you look amazing! Really truly you do! Buzz-cut is very becoming of you.

    Can't wait to hear what fun all the gals are up to tomorrow. I'm up way to late tonight and so will be dragging ass.

    Wanted to share these lyrics from one of my most favorite songs. It has been appropriate at other interludes of life, and just as well now.

    Bat your eyes girl.
    Be otherworldly.
    Count your blessings.
    Seduce a stranger.
    What's so wrong with being happy?
    Kudos to those who see through sickness yeah

    Over and over and over and over

    She woke in the morning.
    She knew that her life had passed her by
    She called out a warning.
    Don't ever let life pass you by.

    I suggest we
    Learn to love ourselves,
    Before its made illegal
    When will we learn, When will we change
    Just in time to see it all come down

    Those left standing will make millions
    Writing books on ways it should have been

    She woke in the morning.
    She knew that her life had passed her by
    She called out a warning.
    Don't ever let life pass you by.

    Floating in this cosmic Jacuzzi
    We are like frogs oblivious
    To the water starting to boil,
    No one flinches and we all float face down

    She woke in the morning.
    She knew that her life had passed her by
    She called out a warning.
    Don't ever let life pass you by.
    Pass you by.


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  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited February 2013

    Skimommi, thanks for sharing that about the hair.  

    I'll have to listen to that song on YouTube in the morning (hubby is asleep and here I am pounding away on the keyboard in the dark - lying next to him - no wonder he wears earplugs to bed, poor guy!). 

    Strange you should mention a song as being kind of a theme song tonight because I think I found my cancer theme song today in rather weird way.  I walked into Abercrombie & Fitch today (haven't been in there since my kiddo was young) and they, of course, had the music blaring and the cologne spritzing into the air (I didn't realize they actually did that - but they do - and they follow the same formula at another one of their stores, Gilly something).  Anyway, this song came on and it was very disco and catchy (the salesgirls started jumping around to it) so I opened up the Shazam app (on the sly, of course) to see what it was and then came home and tried to find it (it's pretty obscure) and the words really hit home.  

    My husband came back to the bedroom which is really my girl cave (but I let him sleep in it :) and I could tell he was wondering why he was hearing the same song (and disco no less!) over and over again wafting down the hallway.  

    The words are perfect but unfortunately they're nowhere on the internet (first time that's ever happened - at least for me) so I had to just remember a few of them and type them out:

    hold on - keep the faith now

    it's gonna be alright (alright)

    hold on - it's not in vain now

    it's gonna be alright

    i fall down but i get on up again (really reminds me of this chemo stuff) 

    there's a light at the end of the road

     

    There's also more to it than that but that's all chemo brain will let me remember. 

     

    Good grief.  I never thought a disco song remixed by some DJ would be my cancer theme song!  

    p.s. That co-worker of yours - grrrrrrrrr!  

     

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  • smethot
    smethot Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2013

    Bryona, you are just the bravest for posting.  I feel all butch wearing my newsboy hat to work today to start to get people used to the look and here's you (and everyone else) posting pics of your hair experience.  Thank you...it really does help. I kinda feel like Stawberry Shortcake in this hat...small head...big, puffy hat, not a hat person...but maybe the hat will be less puffy when i'm sporting bald?  I just don't see me having the balls to go bald in public (shut up Carly- i KNOW i'm vain) but then again...summer in Southern Ontario can get into the mid-to-high 30's...no hat/hair or a puddle of ooze?  Might be a tough choice.

    Think i'm gonna go short (soon) and then buzz it at home (like Bryona's pics) once it starts to go the way of the dinosaurs.  I have clippers at home (use them on husband)...he might as well get to clip ME for a change.  This is just so f***ing weird.  Shannon

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  • Skigirl72
    Skigirl72 Member Posts: 478
    edited February 2013

    Great picture Bryona! We are all looking good with buzz cuts! Keep that lint roller handy and get ready to laugh...

    My scalp hurt when there was just a few hairs left in there. ouch. So we were careful and shaved the sore spots. And Skimommi- yes I still wash my head and wrap it in a towel. It just seems so normal to do it that way. All my bald friends say I can use regular body soap on my head. They stress that I should moisturize and protect the skin. So, I Oil of Olay my face and head every morning.

    I am still fighting this effing cold and I am not back to normal yet. I have a drs appt this morning and I dont want to go. This is the time my WBC should be at its lowest and now I have to walk into a drs office where there are sick people!!!! I'm thinking I need to invest in a hazmat suit.

    I am staying in until Sunday night so my treat will be a massage given by my DH. AHHH he is a good man. I was a mess last night. Crying coughing sneezing. I told him I am tired of being sick and feeling icky. He is such a good comfort. He just lets you get it all out and them holds you till you are ok. Love that man.

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  • SherylB
    SherylB Member Posts: 450
    edited February 2013

    Bryona,

    Welcome to the beautiful baldness club. I agree that we are all looking really good with the buzz cuts. Who knew we were hiding behing the hair all these years. Getting rid of or altering things that we have used to identify our feminity such as boobs and hair has made me get more in touch with the woman inside of me. Weird but true, I feel more feminine for some crazy reason.

    Hugs, Sheryl

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2013

    LeeA the bedroom is also my girl cave. I either head downstairs to wake sleeping beauty to come to bed after he has fallenalasleep in front of the tv, and to let him know it is safe because I am turning off the computer or what ever other activities I've chosen for the night. Funny how he thinks he can not possible come to bed and fall asleep if I have the tv on or computer propped open, bit he has no issue falling asleep in front of 70 inches of distraction.

    That song spoke to me years ago saying "wake up and do something. Stop just allowing life to happen TO you." Applies even more now. That's when I started skiing and trying to find more fun. We were never very good about traveling, always saying we can't afford it so maybe in a few years. Well f!@# that. I started trying to do one trip a year. Even if it is close and a small trip. But at least I'm not letting that "pass me by" any longer.

    Last night when we turned off the lights for bed I was still messing around trying to so something and asked my husband "is it foggy in here?" He repeated my ? with a resounding undertone of "she must be losing it". Yeah it looked foggy, in the dark. Can't explain it. Must have some super cellular power happening with all these drugs.

    Thanks for the mention of the Lysine kiwikid and skigirl. I started getting what appears to be a sore on my lip. I've always suffered from recurrent cold sores and never new how to treat them. Don't want to deal with that mess on tip of all this other shit. So I'm going to give it a try.

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  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited February 2013

    Bellas~When I went to Look Good Feel Better the cosmetologist who leads it said to treat our heads the same as we would our hair.

    She's been doing this since 1989. She told us to shampoo with our regular shampoo, rinse, apply conditioner and it leave on while you finish showering.

    This will be so much better for your hair as it starts growing back. DO NOT USE BATH SOAP!!!



    My BC fight song is Tom Petty's ...................



    I won't back down

    No I won't back down

    You can stand me up at the gates of hell

    But I won't back down





    Paula

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  • smethot
    smethot Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2013

    semi-shitty news?  Righty is a-ok.  But MRI on lefty came back with a bunch of activity in my lumpectomy & axillary site (expected less than 2 weeks after surgery)...and one 8mm node that the radiologist said was "not suspicious' but should be ultrasounded in 6 mths.  NOT SUSPICIOUS???  Now the MRI rad knows i had bc- and still says the node is "not suspicious"...just enlarged.  I had 25 nodes removed during surgery and only the 2 positives on the path (that we knew going in).  Surgeon's office called- la-de-dah- and said no worries on MRI report (read: don't freak out) and i could have a copy if i liked.  I of course wigged out and want to talk to the surgeon RFN, who's in surgery all day- i need this explained- WHY isn't this a big deal???  It SOUNDS like a big deal.  FEELS liek a big deal...  Since i am Question Woman of the Universe, surgeon said she'd call me later today, tonight, etc., (she knows i'm wigging out) but she reiterated to the secretary (who reiterated to me) that everything is fine & radiologist said Node the Enlarged was NOT SUSPICIOUS.  (its like if i say it enough i can believe it).  Now my guess is, the node is upset as hell about the recent surgery and is working overtime trying to clear the area out- its still sore & swollen.  I'm also down 25 nodes, so Node the Enlarged is big kid on the block now...and is puffed up with responsibility.  Hence the precaution to ultrasound in 6 months...and if it was a problem, they wouldn't wait 6 months...right???

    Basically, pat my head, give me a milk bone and tell me i am a good girl.  Someone.  Please.  I know i'm over-reacting but i find it hard NOT to overreact to ANYTHING related to bc these days...i know...shocking.  Surgeon is awesome and totally on top of everything.  IF she or the rad saw a problem, i'd be biopsying again asap.  They TOTALLY have my best interests at heart.  They say don't worry, i know i REALLY shouldn't worry.  And i guess, even if the node was bc +, both chemo and rads would wipe out bc in a lymph node...right?  Even Node the Enlarged?  I need a f***ing valium or something.  Maybe a lobotomy.  Christ-on-a-cracker I do not need more s*** to worry about these days...  Shannon

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  • VirginiaJ
    VirginiaJ Member Posts: 13
    edited February 2013

    Shannon (smethot) -- Sending you a huge virtual hug right now and praying that writing down your fears helped to calm you.  BC sucks!  Having do deal with all of the BC crap sucks!  Being able to share your feelings with your besties in this group   -- priceless!

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  • Sandra60
    Sandra60 Member Posts: 201
    edited February 2013

    Shannon - I've not been posting a lot but saw your post from a few,minutes ago . Waiting for information has got to be one of the toughest parts of going thorough all of this ! To me it sounds like things are ok and you will be just fine - your lymph system is working overtime and people get enlarged modes from that all the time - I had them in my neck a few weeks ago because of an infection in my gums - they put me on anti biotics . I know it is difficult but it is best to trust your medical team - question and verify - but also trust . Your psyche being in good shape is almost as important - IMHO - as your physical condition . I am actually seeing a clinical psychologist to help me . He suggests trying to meditate by sitting quietly or with soft music and doing yoga or just focusing on a single spot in the room. Life will get better - stay positive - good treatments will be administered soon and u will be just fine :)

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  • Zorina
    Zorina Member Posts: 103
    edited February 2013

    TeacherJuli...- I am taking a different cocktail than you, but I just feel odd the first two days afterwards. It' probably the steroids that make it really odd. About the third day, after the steroids start wearing off, I notice a definite change in my energy level.  Most of the time, I just feel a bit like I have the flu.  Not right, not horrible, just blah.   Mostly,I end up sleeping a lot.

    Skimommi - They call it Red Velvet cake in the south, and they put cream cheese frosting on it,  but I think it will make a great celebration for a last dance with the devil.  I just need to make sure my Knights in White are ready for the day.

    To all:  I guess I am kind of a tomboy, (or it is the steroids talking) but I love having no hair...I can be out of the shower and fully dressed in a matter of minutes each morning.  I was never the kind of girl that wanted to spend a lot of time primping,  so now I don't even have to go through the motions!  I still have eyebrows although they have never been very visible,  the eyelashes are thinned but still hanging on. Peachfuzz on the side of my face remains, hair is thin in the hinterlands, but I am thrilled because I don't have to shave, pluck or primp.   Without active acne, even make up is a speedier process.

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  • Bryona
    Bryona Member Posts: 214
    edited February 2013

    Shannon, darling girl, YES to everything you said. Yes, of course you're freaked out. And yes, you don't know one more damned thing to worry about. And YES, your doctors know what they're talking about and have your best interest at heart. And yes, you're probably right about Node the Enlarged being a very busy kid these days who's had to pull on his big-boy pants to get the job done, and maybe has his chest puffed out because he's so damned proud of himself for it. (I picture Node the Enlarged in very fancy Superman Underoos.) And yes, now is an excellent time for a happy pill (in my case, Ativan) to help you process this in a saner manner.

    Look, here he is! Node the Enlarged (his head is really too big for his body) in his big boy Underoos, ready to save the day.

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  • smethot
    smethot Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2013

    Thank you.  I've been ranting to my coworkers, too and IT HELPS!!!  Human Ativan.  :)  Thanks muchly Ladies of the Egg!!!

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  • smethot
    smethot Member Posts: 161
    edited February 2013

    I see you're feeling better today, Bryona?  The fog is lifting?  Or is the crack monkey just blowing constant raspberries to clear that nasty s*** out?  Blow monkey, blow.

    I do thank you all for your support...i assume you understand how good it feels but its just so nice to have people who understand and can commisserate.  Not that husband, family and friends aren't GREAT...they are.  But they lack a level of understanding that you all really and truly GET.  This forum is such a fab outlet.  And thanks for letting me stay in the Jan thread even though i'm technically a Febbie...you ladies all rock. 

    Oh!  i came up with 2 more positives (for me) on chemo...here's the list (additions anyone???):

    1.  death to cellular insurgents (die, motherf***ers, die!)

    2.  no body hair = no shaving (woo hoo to Brazilians and saving a MINT- screw you Gillette!)

    2b) subsection to above- no more nasty, little Broom Hilda hairs poking out my chin...WTF ARE THOSE???  (I hate them.  Die.)

    2c) subsection to above- don't have to TRY (note:TRY) to shave AROUND the scar in my arpit so the little hairs sprouting out of the incision don't poke me to death (really?  really?)

    3.  No more acne (hopefully) for duration of treatment (suck it, zits!)

    4.  anti-infammatory benefits- old war wounds don't act up anymore and i don't have to predict the weather with my joints (Weee!)

    Anyone else have something positive to add to the "Good Things About Chemo" list?  Shannon

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  • hope49
    hope49 Member Posts: 370
    edited February 2013

    I'll add this to your list, Shannon...being able to eat whatever tastes good, even if it was normally on your forbidden list and not really gaining weight like you would have pre-chemo Smile

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  • Colleenkelly
    Colleenkelly Member Posts: 99
    edited February 2013

    Bryona- I think you look great with your hair buzzed! Love the super hero picture too. I remember underoos. Shannon- you fricken kill me. lmao! Not much of an appetite lately. Nothing sounds good and tummy not feeling all that great. Maybe I should try an ensure or something. Yuk!

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  • Amrdbit
    Amrdbit Member Posts: 114
    edited February 2013

    Hi Ladies, 

    2nd TC apt at the bar was wednesday. I have been off the forums for several days b/c a girlfriend flew in to keep me company and to help out. It's been great having her here, but I do know I've not been resting as much. I figure I can rest more when she's not here, my teenage boys are at school and my husband is at work. LOL! 2nd treatment went well. The cold caps were more uncomfortable then the chemo, but.... those too were tolerable. I'm so stinkin tired through my core, but besides that I feel fine. So far. If things follow like they did last time, it's going to really hit me tomorrow-Monday night or Tuesday morning and then I should be fine. My hair is thinning for sure, and it's making me crazy. I miss doing my hair.... but for now it's hanging on and the cold caps seem to be working. Fingers crossed!!! The hair "down there" is pretty much gone. I look like I paid for a brazillian. Ha ha ha! It's actually fairly fashionable. Ha ha ha!

    Hope everyone is doing well today! Hugs and love to all of you wonderful ladies, and a big hello to all of the newbies! Welcome to the group no one really wants to be a member of. LOL! Deb

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