Sept 2012 chemo

Jojo, I'm also doing 33 rads - 28 whole breast and 5 boosts. I questioned my RO about the number of treatments after I saw a lot of people were getting a lot fewer than 33. I wish I could remember her answer in more detail, but some people get slightly more radiation per treatment and that works out to 25 vs 28 whole breast zaps, and some get no boosts, 5 or 8 or some other number. Then there's the "Canadian protocol" which is fewer zaps, and which has been proven to be very effective for early stagers who did not have to get chemo. My RO does sometimes offer the Canadian protocol but not to me because I had to have chemo due to Her2+. All that to say - I had #16 today and everything is fine. I go on the way to work, and it doesn't take long at all. It's just getting old, going there every day. Hopefully you don't have to drive too far. Use whatever they tell you for "loobing the boob" and ask questions.

HopeX; That is just fantastic! So very, very happy to hear your news! Wonderful And yes, I was very releived that the xray was normal! I will take away some positive thoughts to focus on from todays good new: 1) "Chemo works and kicks cancers ass" (as you are an example of Hopex), and 2) "Don't worry about every ache and pain"



Jojo; I know! It seems like a huge number if treatments and so daunting! I did 28 so you will do one week more than me. I was red and sore at the end but not too bad. I can honestly say that it wasn't half as bad as I expected and somehow the days and weeks went by quite quickly. You kind of get into a routine, you get to know the technicians and you get used to it. Do you have to drive far? If you can have friends take you and keep you company some of the time. It's great distraction as you spend most of the time waiting and the actual treatment takes like 10 minutes. Also if people have been asking what they can do to help this is a perfect thing to do. I got the feeling that so many of my friends felt really good about being

able to something for me and to be able to catch up. I drove myself after the first few weeks (I started rads only a week after chemo so I felt pretty rough to start). Other tips would be to wear clothes that are quick to get in and out of, don't use deodorant with aluminium on the rad side (I used Tom's), use lots of the moisturizer your Dr recommends (I used Calendula cream and kept a tube in my handbag for right after treatment), go braless when you can and let air get to your skin. Also, count down and celebrate each week, 1/4, 1/2 or whatever makes sense to you. Treat yourself those days, it makes it feel less endless. It all going quickly is a good thing and means you'll be done sooner

Jojo.... Miaderm is the cream its made with calendula was recommended by a friends of mine who zaps cancer patients daily.



Hopex... Whooooo Hooooo so happy for you! Doing the happy dance for you...



Marianelizabeth... Congrats that is such a good feeling to be done!



Bearcub.. I just might use that when I do radiation!

Good luck with your MRI Amy!



Today I went on the elliptical trainer and noticed a button that said "Weight Loss". I pressed it but dissapointingly it didn't work...

Mariposa-The cranes are amazing!  I had to look up the origin and really feel touched by it.  Such a gesture of love!  We lived in Tokyo for almost a year and I never knew about that.  So cool!

HOpe -YAAY YOU!  I love hearing good news for people!  It's what we need!  

Forever-hang in there!  I would work to change that.....I hope they will work with you.  My surgeon operated on me on a Saturday which was really kind.  I just was so anxious to get it over with.

For all having surgery the anticipation is the worst.  At least with recovery it gets better each day-unlike chemo!  To me chemo is the toughest haul.  Such a roller coaster ride.  Feel good then bad then decent nope bad again.  STINKS!  SOOOO excited to have my last one thursday.  I will post my pic after.  My friend made me a pink tiara that says last chemo on it.  I got a feather boa and a tshirt that says this chick is kissing cancer goodbye.  I'm also going to make a sign that says HONK it's my LAST CHEMO.  yeah.  Planning to live it up large after this 5 months of HELL!  

Thanks for posting about rads all.  I am guessing I will be lucky number 33 treatments but have no idea for sure.  Seeing my RO on Feb 14.  Kind of sad about that because I am missing my daughter's party but really wanting to finally meet with him to find out what is coming next.  I have been reading too much about tamoxifen and rads and am getting afraid of that.  My DH says not to read so much!  But it's hard.  I like knowing rather than not knowing!  I am also debating the genetic ?  I am a third generation BC patient.  It's like I want to know but I'm also afraid to know.  I'm afraid they are going to want to pull the ovaries next if I am BRACA2 and that has its own set of worries.  I just don't want insurance labelling me....I don't see my gynecologist until May but have lots of questions especially regarding the tamoxifen.  Low se's to all........Blessings!

Amy, I was going to have an MRI but it was cancelled thank God, as I am so claustrophobic as well. I know how you feel. I know that i will have to face my fear of that MRI machine someday. Be brave sister!!



Timbek...You go girl. You wear that feather boa and strut on in as the warrior princess you are! Congratulations!

My Jojo .... You got this...... This should be a walk in the park.... You finished chemo ....finished surgery....and you're at the beginning of the end wooooooohooooo......warrior princes.....



Most of everyone is getting ready for Febuary Surgery ..... I feel lonely I will be having mine sometime in March....but then I again I will have you sisters to give me great tips



I went on Facebook and saw my husband's status it was .......and so I asked him last night why the sad face he said that my surgery was coming up and that it must be hard on me to loose such a feminine part of my body and everything that I will be going through.... And his eyes got very teary .....and he asked me If there was some kind of husband support system for him here in Miami .......



I hugged him so hard and I told him how much I loved him for being so brave for me but that he is worrying too much ...... Because I am mentally prepare for this and my boobs will be bigger and that my boobs don't define me ...... And that I'm a strong women and will always be no matter what happens in life because God made me a fighter ...... Pain or no pain it has to be done I feel very strong .... It's not easy any surgery is hard but we are strong .......



So we sat down had dinner and a glass wine and I just wanted to reassure him that I'm strong and we can do this together ........



I know that sometimes I forget that he needs my reassurance ...... He sees me very strong but I guess his so scared for me ... I don't know why cause I'm not ... Maybe cause its a month away or maybe because I'm so focus on getting the cancer off me I don't know ... Or maybe I'm just going with the flow I don't know I just know that right now I am ok and I don't need to stress for something that's not happening now..... I am a person that when time comes I will take it then but not now I still have to finish chemo I have 4 more to go so ill worry about that now then surgery ..... I was wondering sisters how you DH feel... I'm sure they are supportive just like mine .... How have they been dealing with all of this???? .... It's all about us but its also walking together with them through our journey .... I need him right next to me ... And his falling behind a little bit when he gets sad... ... But on the other hand I get stronger for him and that makes feels good knowing I can help him deal with it..... ...





Have great day my ladies and thanks for letting vent....

jojo - my mother in law did lumpectomy and had 33 rads with 5 boosts

Patricia - You have a fantastic supportive husband. My DH was very supportive in the beggining, now not so much. Right now I keep getting this weird vibe from him, almost like he hates me or just puts up with me. He goes out almost nightly to a bar, on this he said he wanted to be away from breast cancer or anyone that knew I had breast cancer. When I talk to him he either gives short snippy, answers or doesn't answer at all...and the silliest thing to me that bothers me, if I sneeze he does not say bless you or God Bless you. I still have just very white fuzz on my head, loosing my brows and lashes,  still have the extra chemo weight and I feel like he feels like he got more than he bargained for. I was very fit, pretty, long natural curly hair, maybe he feels ripped off....Sorry did not mean to turn this into a vent, just wondering if anyone else having similar situations with their husbands.

Wow - so much good news on this board!  I am so envious of those who've completed chemo because my MO says I have to do AC after surgery no matter what the path comes back with. 

Amy - I took an Ativan before the MRI.  The worst part of the deal was the tech had a terrible time finding veins - it took 20 minutes to get blood and three sticks.  It's such a weird procedure, putting our boobs in the boob tube.  Bizarre.  Anyway, good for you - no need to suffer needlessly, you are going through enough.  I'm glad we are getting our surgery the same day so I have a buddy on the adventure!

Patricia - so glad you have a great partner in this.  At first, Matt was gung ho supportive, going to all my appointments with me, but over time he's gotten fatigued or something.  Also, I found it backfired to try to talk about the cancer or my fears with him - it terrified him.  So I found this group, a Facebook group, and a support group nearby to say scary things out loud.  He's great at the things he's always been great with - good provider, awesome cook, loves to run the errands and do the shopping - but I still do most everything around the house. 

Jojo - I think I'm to do more than 30 sessions because I have an aggressive cancer and had a lot of redness and swelling, which may indicate IBC (it gets in the skin).  Depending on my path report I may also have to get a bolus, where they put this pack on you to intentionally burn the skin.  I'm not afraid of this part of it, which I hope remains the case, as I've been pretty much terrified all along the way.

I had my pre-surgical physical Monday and flunked the EKG.  There was something about right ventricular conduction that is sending me back to the cardiologist for a more expert look.  This is NOT the kind of thing you want to hear right before surgery, but I'm hopeful it's nothing serious. 

Feeling almost human the last few days - two weeks since I had my last Taxol.  My brother treated me to a professional massage yesterday which was fantastic - for the first time in ages I was aware of my total body, not just the cancer-y parts.  A nice reminder that most of me is healthy and strong.  I would love to stop obsessing over my cancer. 

Hope you ladies are enjoying the mild weather!

Patricia you sound so happy and positive. You will have lots of support in March for your surgery.



Timbek yeah!!!....you will look beautiful with the tiara and boa!...



Butterfly I hope you have others around to support you while your DH seems a bit lost. He may need to talk to someone and sort out his feelings. Men just do not always handle a crisis in the family as well as women.



Kelley we will be here for you to support you through your AC treatment.



English Rose, congrats on finishing rads!!



Everyone have a great Wednesday!

Hi ladies,

Timbek:  Congrats on the final chemo on Thursday!  You are almost there:-)  Please post some pictures in your crown and boa! 

Patricia:  you are really blessed to haves such a supportive partner.  Squeeze him tight and never let him go:-)  Your work sounds exhausting- but I also get that it is probably a lot of fun.  I was a bartender for many years before becoming a therapist.  Staying up late with people having fun was energizing.  And with your personality, I bet they love you!

Englishrose:  Congratulations on finishing rads! Wow.  Such a long journey.  It must feel exhilarating reaching the finish line.

Butterfly:  Sending you big huge hugs.  I can definitely relate.  I have talked before about my struggles with my DH.  They get better for a while, and then they become difficult again.  I have come to realize that this has more to do with him really lacking good coping strategies.  I think he gets angry because breast cancer has changed everything.  I used to take care of everything - and now breast cancer has forced him to take on a larger role in our life.  I went to this interesting healer/psychic the other day. I don't totally believe in these types of things, but my friend gave it to me as a gift.  Anyway, the psychic said that in a past life I died in utero at 8 1/2 months pregnant.  My mother was fourteen and didn't really know how to take care of me.  She then said that my husband was the fourteen year old mother.  Apparently this happened 300 years ago.  She then asked me if there were ways my husband wasn't taking care of me now.  (Which is totally true - and something I am concerned about more than cancer).  Weird.  I think on some level he wants to be there- but I really feel like it is kind of like asking someone to speak French, when they just don't know how.  No amount of pleading is going to make them speak French.  And I don't have time to teach someone a whole new language.

Last night we ended up in the emergency room with my three year old son.  He came into our room wheezing and looking very scared.  He couldn't breathe.  I became worried since I suffer from asthma and it sounded a lot like an asthma attack.  The whole family went to the emergency room.  I drove us there, spoke to all of the doctors, held my son, and tried to take care of my daughter.  My husband was white as a ghost, holding his head in his hands, and looked like he was on the verge of tears.   I think that pretty much sums up how we both cope.  I cope by doing.  He has no idea how to cope.  I didn't have time to worry about what might happen to my son... I just needed to get him to the ER asap.  My husband went to the worst case scenario in his head almost immediately.... and then felt paralyzed by fear.

Oh well.  My son seemse better today.  They have no idea what it was.  Probably an upper respiratory infection.  I woke up this morning after three hours sleep feeling like crap.  I have a friend who has been through chemo.  He likened it to drinking bleach and then running a marathon.  That is how I feel right at this moment. 

Hope each day gets better for each of us:-)  Thanks for letting me have my little rant.

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Feel better cheerio!  So sorry that you feel a cold coming.  Can you take ZICAM?  My DH recently had a cold coming on and took zicam right away and the cold subsided quickly for him.  Just a suggestion.  Sometimes a plain cold makes us feel the lousiest!  Take care of yourself!!!

Hi lovelies,

It's been a while since I posted, but I've been reading and keepin gup with you all. So much great news!

Jojo, I am scheduled for 27 rads, with the bolus. I had #20 today, and I've been pretty okay. My skin is red but hasn't blistered yet. I've had a couple of times when I've gotten really tired, but otherwise it's just get an extra hour or two a night. What's bothering me the most is muscle tightness, which makes my stiff arm even harder to move. I have worked throughout and been fine.

Patricia, do you have Cancer Care in FL? They offer free suuport services for cancer patients and their families. My DH saw one of their counselors for a couple of months, and it was a very positive experience. He's NOT a counseling person, so I had to force him (haha) but he ended up getting a lot out of it.

Mariposa, very apt and elegant analogy about coping as skill like speaking another language. I have come to accept that about my DH in terms of caregiving...it's not something that comes naturally to him. Case in point, one night during dinner (take out, always take out) he said suddenly,"Would you like me to cook dinner sometimes?" like it was the unheard of crazy thing. He was so proud for having thought of it. I said, uh, YEAH. Needless to say he hasn't done it yet, so there you go...

Oh no, the emergency room! How upsetting. Is your son sick otherwise? I ask because the nighttime thing reminds me of whooping cough, which as been really bad this year. I don't want to alarm you! He's probably fine, but if it happens more that might be something to consider.

Okay, so who here has ditched the scarf/wig? I am SO ready to, but I'm not sure my hair is quite thick enough. For people who are head covering free, how did you know it was time? I might post a photo of me below and see what you guys think.

Mariposa, How very frightening about your son. So hope he is better!

Cheerio, Sorry to hear you have a cold. Hope it goes away quickly.

Toastiecat: love the avatar! Is that Toastie the cat with you? I haven't worn a wig or scarf since New Year unless I need to for cold. I went to a New Years party with just downy fluff on my head.

Toastiecat I have given up the wig. My hair is still so short and completely white like a toe head when my hair color was dark brown with some grey , I feel free and can care less anymore what people say



Jojo I am so glad your eyelashes and eye brows are coming back . I just looked at mine and I see a few eyelashes starting but my right eyebrow is completely gone and my left is starting to come back weird



Amy god love you driving all that way