Painful Sex / Intercourse - Tightness at Vaginal Opening

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gonegirl
gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
edited June 2014 in Mental Health: Because Cancer Doesn't Just Affect Your Breasts

Hey, all:

I finished chemo in June 2012 and that put me into early menopause, which of course affects issues of dryness.  The other problem I'm having with sex is that there is a tightness around the opening of my vagina, which makes sex pretty painful.  I tried talking to my gynecologist and she just said use a lubricant; not helpful.

I mentioned this problem to my physical therapist who has been working with me after my mastectomy and immediate reconstruction. Here is what she recommended and says it works.

Sit down on the floor, back against the wall, legs spread. Then place your thumb into your vagina and press down hard and hold for 60 to 90 seconds.  Do this every day.  She says that this will release that muscles and that at a certain point, the muscle will no longer tighten and that this will also help with vaginal lubrication.

I'm starting this today 'cause I can't feel my boobs so I'd like my other sex parts to work, you know?

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  • mdg
    mdg Member Posts: 3,571
    edited January 2013

    Do a search for the thread about  I want my Mojo back.  Lots of ladies discuss what they did to help get the lower half working again.  

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  • Moderators
    Moderators Member Posts: 25,912
    edited January 2013

    Gritgirl,

    Here's the thread mdg mentions: I WANT MY MOJO BACK! 

    You may want to share your tips there, too!

    Hope this helps!

    --The Mods

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited January 2013

    Thanks. That's a good one. There's also Solution to Painful Intercourse.  I posted this one separately though because I saw little talking about tightness of the vaginal opening, very different than lubrication issues.  Figured it deserved its own topic. Embarassed

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  • Wren44
    Wren44 Member Posts: 8,585
    edited January 2013

    My PCP gave me an rx for lidocaine. Once normal frequency is resumed, it's not needed so much. Only downside was that EVERY person who reviewed my meds before 3 surgeries asked, "What's the lidocaine for?"

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  • jancie
    jancie Member Posts: 2,631
    edited January 2013

    Lidocaine and scream cream (not the stuff you buy on the internet but the stuff that is made by a compounding pharmacy) works great!

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  • Susie123
    Susie123 Member Posts: 804
    edited January 2013

    gritgirl, I absolutely love that last sentence! Thank you for making me laugh today. On top of all the bc stuff with the bmx I also had a complete hysterectomy so I tell my husband he's married to a "it" now. :)

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  • gonegirl
    gonegirl Member Posts: 1,871
    edited January 2013

    yeah, it sucks to not be able to enjoy sex.  i seem to have the dryness which might be solved by the lidocaine and scream cream.  but the tightness is a different issue.  what i'm experiencing is apparently called vaginismus, tightness of the vagina.  i asked the physical therapist about dilators, which is a common treatment for this problem. She said her treatment actually works better, so I'm going to try this release method first and then take it from there.

    Oh, and on one of the threads on painful intercourse, I heard cocoa butter as a suggestion for a lubricant.  So I bought a container of the natural stuff and give that a go.

    I mean for cripes sake, I deserve a little good nookie once in a while.

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  • mammalou
    mammalou Member Posts: 823
    edited January 2013

    My mo and ob offered something called vaginal dialators. They said it worked !

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  • MaxineO
    MaxineO Member Posts: 555
    edited January 2013

    gritgirl- I was going to suggest trying to loosen it up with, ahem, a 'stand-in' for your DH's member, perhaps?  (I don't know what word to use that wouldn't get this flagged!).  I don't know what a 'dilator' is, but that sounds like a fancy medical version of something you could get in an adult bookstore.  In times when DH and I have gone for extended periods without any penetration, I have noticed a tightening that is only alleviated by more regular use, so to speak.  It sounds like your therapist is working toward the same end.

    Of course you deserve a little good nookie!  And yeah for you that you have a handle on the dryness and the drive...two of our other struggles around here.

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  • christina0001
    christina0001 Member Posts: 1,491
    edited January 2013

    I'm still having problems as well Susan, although it seems to be slowly improving. It's not a lubrication problem (although I deal with that too). Frankly I am not keen on putting lidocaine in my lady parts. Thanks for sharing this, I will try this exercise.

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  • floridatworeds
    floridatworeds Member Posts: 22
    edited January 2013

    Just had sex for the first time, and it was good but I was dry and it was so what painful. Information will really help

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