Surgery date set and getting philosophical...

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MrsH
MrsH Member Posts: 96

My surgery is set for 1/31 at NOLA - yay! Waiting for the pathology on my tumor in order to have the full picture and know what my next steps will be. Praying for no lymph node involvement, no radiation and no chemo. Of course that's all up in the air until the path is in. I'm getting philosophical about the bigger picture. My question is this: do you ever really recover? I hear about people who battle breast cancer for 7 years and then they die. Or even someone who's been told they were clear - with NED - die a month later... I'm just wondering what the road ahead will be like for me? At 46 I think I have half my life to live, but do I really? Am I more likely to get another cancer somewhere in my body? So much to think about... Thoughts?

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  • Blessings2011
    Blessings2011 Member Posts: 4,276
    edited January 2013

    Hi, MrsHenderson

    I was dx'd with IDC in September 2011, and had my BMX w/TEs in December 2011.

    I was caught off guard and went through my Shock and Awe phase first....but I recovered pretty fast and went into the "Get all the information you can so that you can feel like you have some control over this" phase pretty quickly.

    I didn't get philosophical until months later.

    I was 60 when I was diagnosed... the same age my mom was when SHE was diagnosed. She passed away 28 years later from completely unrelated causes.

    I have to say I only thought about dying once, and that was the day I got the phone call. Several thoughts went through my mind: 1) This is going to be really quite simple, and God will get me through it; 2) This is going to be really hard, but God will get me through it; and 3) This is my time, and God will call me home....but because of my faith, I considered that a win-win situation.

    I had the biggest surgery for two small, early cancers. I did not need rads or chemo, but was prepared for both. We just didn't know. 

    After the surgery, I made some major lifestyle changes that totally affected how I saw myself in my future.

    I lost a lot of weight and began to exercise. I got off the dozen or more prescription drugs I was on every day, and stopped having the debilitating pain I'd been living with for ten years.

    I went from feeling like a weak, sick person (before my BC dx) to feeling like a strong, healthy person. I really did want to know what I was going to do with the second half of my life, and I didn't want to be a frail little old lady who had to call 911 because I fell and couldn't get up.

    The statistics (and my Oncologist) tell me my risk of recurrence is low, thanks to the type of cancer I had, the surgery I went through, the major loss of weight, and my current taking of Anastrozole.

    However, in this life there are no guarantees. Yes, I could have a recurrence. I've had friends who have had this happen to them... but there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.

    I actually do gain a lot of strength and inspiration from the ladies on the Stage IV forum. I want to live my life as comfortably and as meaningfully as I can, make the changes I am able to, accept my limitations, and never give up hope.

    I am wishing the best for you!!!

  • edwards750
    edwards750 Member Posts: 3,761
    edited January 2013

    Excellent response Blessings. I havent thought about dying. I just decided that the "problem" would be fixed and that would be that. When I allow myself to dwell on what has happened I do get a little scared. My children are not young; my youngest is 23 and he is graduating from college in May. I do have the fear factor because like it or not we are always going to be looking over our shoulder because of the C label we now have. Having said that I think you said summed up the BC Dx with there are no guarantees and we are doing everything we can to prevent a recurrence. It is not in our hands. I still panic when its time for a mammogram but I did that b4 my dx mainly because my mother had BC. She died 15 yrs later but not of BC either. I have a Stage 2(micromet in the SN), Grade 1 tumor. I had 33 RADS treatments and am currently on Tamoxifen. I plan to stay on that drug for 10 years. That seems to be the new thinking 10 years vs 5 years. None of us asked for this; we drew the short straw but remember this Mrs. Henderson it isnt the death sentence. The incredible strength and courage from ladies on the Stage IV forum is just plain inspirational. Good luck with your surgery. Keep us posted.

  • CelineFlower
    CelineFlower Member Posts: 875
    edited January 2013

    Blessings... i agree 100% !!!

    i see this as an oppurtunity to heal.. to get healthy.

    Mrs Henderson.... some my pivot nurse said to me yesterday.. "this is a chronic illness"

    And from what i read i tend to agree

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