January 2013 chemo group

Mmmm, beeeer. 

yes, I agree Mmmmmm beer. lol

{{crying}}I want a beer. I haven't had beer or wine since august 30

gd2 who are you asking?
me? surgery 12/26 (no staples, dissolving sutures), first chemo today 1/18

Haven't been on in awhile.  I really have been struggling post therapy #1 TC.  I felt pretty normal the day after.  Went and got my Neulasta shot that day.  Took Claritin Reditabs (not a pill swallower) for three days and didn't really think it was doing anything.  By Monday, my stinking heart rate, which is always high as a result of the radiation and chemo for Hodgkin's years ago, was like 127.  I don't sleep well at night, if at all.  My body just felt uncomfortable.  I had a left over Oxycodone from the mastectomy, so I took it in the wee hours of Tuesday morning.  That brought my heart rate down to it's "normal" range and kept it there for about ten hours.  Tuesday afternoon, I ended up calling my MO.  She renewed my 'script for the Oxycodone and told me to take it as often as I needed, which has been one pill once or twice a day, along with my 0.5mg Clonazepam at bedtime.  THAT has helped with most of my symptoms.  I haven't had any bowel issues one way or the other.  My appetite is better than I thought it would be, but I have a feeling I'll end up skinnier on the other side, which I definitely DO NOT want.

My MO thinks it may have been the Neulasta that has made me feel so bad, so she's thinking of reducing the dose next time.  I took my third dose of Levoquin, my prophylactic antibiotic, that I'll be on for five days starting on day six of each treatment; because of my history with low WBCs on chemo in the past and since I have no spleen as part of staging for the Hodgkin's in 1985.  

As for the hair loss - been there, done that.  It really sucked.  If I recall I was completely hairless.  I certainly remember the down there hair not being down there because my ex had something to say about that.  I remember my dad asking my mother, "does she have any eyebrows or eyelashes" while squinting at my face from across the room with a puzzled look on his face.  And, my older sister just had to have a picture.  I did not want her to take the picture.  I was heart broken and beside myself with grief over my lot in life at the time.  I'm prepared to be hairless again.  When I was going through the radiation for the Hodgkin's I had gotten on a hospital elevator with a woman who told me she was undergoing chemo for breast cancer.  Her hair was about 1/2 inch long.  I thought she looked stunning because she had the strength and nerve to go out in public like that in 1985, which wasn't all that usual back then.

I used to make this rat face for my college room mate where I'd roll my top lip up inside against my gums and squint my eyes.  We'd laugh because she said I looked like a rat.  I told her I'd post a photo of me bald making that rat face.  I'd look like James Carville.  I tried the wig thing and couldn't stand it.  The hair starts growing back so quickly, it almost isn't worth it.  But, then again, I never go out of the house.  I can afford to be bald.  

Bottom line with the hair loss is that it definitely is traumatic.  That seemed to bother me the most about the chemo. Most women want beautiful, thick, manageable, shiny hair.  I don't know too many that actually want to be bald.  I think cutting it short and then buzzing it are by far the best choices.  My hair was mid way down my back and strands and strands were falling out every time I touched my head.  It was gross feeling it slide down the backs of my legs in the shower.  It was gross picking it off my clothes.  It's gross when you're folding the laundry and there's a huge wad of hair in a tangled ball stuck to a shirt, or two or three.  We will get through this.

My way right now is with my Oxycodone, fluids all the time, eat when I can, Clonazepam and lots of naps.  

Buon giorno, Bellas!!  

I hope that is how I should spell good morning to you all...what a WTF ride this stuff is...At the bar I was fine, chatty, happy, no problems.  Next day same thing (well, except for my power 'roid buzz).  Taking all my meds in order, writing them down just like a good girl.  Slept well last night (thank you Ambien CR!) .   Today I felt a foggy mess. Doing Claritin, Advil, last compazine J.I.C..  Tates buds way off. I felt like a crazy lady today...without the crazy energy.  I can't imagine the bone pain without pain killers.  I am assuming the Claritin is working but I'll admit I'm dipping into my post surgical stash of Oxy in a few minutes.  I am trying so hard to acknowledge and honor the chemo ninjas (Well Done, Messrs. et Mdmes!) but I'm ready for an epidural ;-)  Actually I'm whining.  

Please if you are on Facebook come and join us.  It is a secret group so you won't be able to search us out...my name is Nancy Prior Phillips and once I get your Hello I'll send you an invite.  Debbie is also doing a great job, no she is doing a better job of getting bellas on board.  We have decided to do sashes like the girl scouts, earn patches (no hair patches!!) and have some fun.  Deb debuted a wig today and she is stunning!  I'm not even a week out yet but I'm ready (I am not ready...) I did wear a hat all day around the house just to see how it felt.  The dogs didn't mind at all...

For our sisters here who are so young, so beautiful and filled with life.  Please let us mamas honor you, hold you up and get you there safely.  I love you each and everyone...and am so thankful we are here for each other.

Lol I heard Jane's Addiction too, I saw them play with the chilis in Seoul in 2002, a lifetime ago, it was a great concert.

My song of the moment is faith no more's falling to pieces. It's so old but I've always loved it. Here are the lyrics if anyone's interested. I'm an English teacher btw, so I'm all about words! Xx



Back and forth, I sway with the wind

Resolution slips away again

Right through my fingers, back into my heart

Where it's out of reach and it's in the dark

Sometimes I think I'm blind

Or I may be just paralyzed

Because the plot thickens every day

And the pieces of my puzzle keep crumblin' away

But I know, there's a picture beneath

Indecision clouds my vision

No one listens....

Because I'm somewhere in between

My love and my agony

You see, I'm somewhere in between

My life is falling to pieces

Somebody put me together

Layin' face down on the ground

My fingers in my ears to block the sound

My eyes shut tight to avoid the sign

Anticipating the end, losing the will to fight

Droplets of "yes" and "no"

In an ocean of "maybe"

From the bottom, it looks like a steep incline

From the top, another downhill slope of mine

But I know, the equilibrium's there

Indecision clouds my vision

No one listens

Because I'm somewhere in between

My love and my agony

You see, I'm somewhere in between

My life is falling to pieces

Somebody put me together

On a brighter note, I've made a decision, ("indecision clouds my vision") I want a mx, perhaps bmx. The road with rads is black and scary and I don't know why but women's intuition is screaming at me to avoid rads at all costs. So I should, right?



Kia kaha beautiful ladies.



Xx kk

Thanks, but you know I'm the one on the right - my daughter is the cute one :-)

How do you buy acidophilus?  I never wrote down the mixture for the baking soda - would you please let me know how to make this concoction and what exactly to do with it?

What's thrush?  So much to learn - Oy  vey.

Louise8118- I've gone down to 2 litres of water a day now. I stayed at 3 lites for the first week. They want you to flush your body for a bit after your TX to get it out of you. I stopped my nausea meds 7 days after TX. No one told me when, so I just listened to my body.

Skimommi- I tioally feel the same as you about your hair. I just don't want to deal with it falling out on everything. It's coming off today or tomorrow.

So, this whole time we/ve been worried about me catching a old during this aweful flu season. We are total germaphobes at home and if we are out. Well, My DH is really sick. Massive head cold... poor thing. He is really stubborn about meds too. I forced a sudafed in him this morning. And I am going out today to get some theraflu or something he can stand over a hot steamy pot and try to unplug his head.

Has anyone noticed how we are tough as nails through all this and guys (in general) fall to peices when they get a cold? LOL  Mine is pretty good, but man he is really sick and I feel bad for him.

Happy Saturday to all of you!!

Thanks!  I just jumped up and poured a large apple juice.  So I will be sloshing some more.

Louise

My first breast cancer scare was when I was 32 and my son was about 2 1/2 years old (this was 1990 or 1991).  Fortunately, it was just that - a scare - but it was the same breast (the left - always the same breast).

That said, I was so relieved to dodge the bullet not only then but in 2003 as well.  

My son is almost 25 years old and I can't tell you all how often I think back to those earlier scares - when he was so much younger.  

I have such great admiration for those of you going through this with younger children and I agree with honeybair and Paula - you all are such an inspiration.  One woman who posts on the Triple Positive thread has five children under the age of ten!  I felt such sadness when she posted that a few of them are just too young to understand why she can't pick them up like she always has and I immediately flashed back to that first scare, when my little one was still so...little.  

One thing is for certain:  everyone around here, regardless of age, is strong, tough and determined.  Thank goodness we have a way to communicate with one another!    

Ladies, HYDRATION, I'm telling you = NUUN http://nuun.com/  I have it at my local grocery store, drugstores have it, any sports retailer.  I find out about it midway thru first chemo.  It really helps, unless you like to suck down gallons of water :P I don't ((LOL))

"Here We Go!"  yes, that rang in my head......especially, since my name is jane :P