I want off this emotional rollercoaster

Sorry you're having a hard time, totally normal And understandable and it does get easier you've been through alot, be gentle and kind with yourself - I had alot of tears at the weirdest moments and still do, but the reference to it being a roller coaster is true. And after we ride the same one a few times it slowly starts to not be so scary, and you start to recognize the ups and downs and it gets easier it really does. Hope this helps

Hi ShaneOak,

I have been having issues with depression also.  I feel as though I am coming out of it, but am so afraid that it will come back.  I was diagnosed at the end of last March.  I had a BMX with reconstruction, chemo, radiation, and now I'm on Tamoxifen.  When my PS told me I was all done at my appointment last week, I started to cry.  I thought I wanted to be all done!  I have allowed stress from work to mushroom out of proportion.  I don't know if the Tamoxifen is playing havoc with my moods, if it's kind of like PTS or if it's my age, as my husband suggests.  Whatever is causing these feelings needs to stop!  I have an appointment with my MO on Wednesday and I'm going to ask about counseling.  I'm trying really hard to not let my dark thoughts take over again. 

I hope you're doing well today and have found some peace.

Shane, first, realize you are very, very new to your diagnosis.  It hasn't even been a month since your surgery. I would think a double mastectomy is very traumatic, and takes time to adjust.  I don't know your backstory, or how old you are, but chances are all the tests, the confirmation of bc and surgery happened so rapidly that now you are left dealing with the emotional part that you might not have had time for up till now because you were dealing with appointments and consultations and new doctors, ect. Please, be easy on yourself.  It is okay to be sad.  Give yourself the time to be sad.

If I would offer any other advice, I would say, do only the things that you really want to do, that bring you enjoyment.  Do less housework and other things you feel obligated to do.  Go see a great movie, read some books that you've been putting off reading because you were so busy, shop for some great buys, get your hair and nails done, get a massage, take a day trip to somewhere you want to go to get away from it all, immerse yourself in a fun tv show or plan your summer vacation.  

You WILL get past this, it's just gonna take some time.  Right now I would think your body and emotions are still dealing with the shock of it all.  Love yourself through it.

ShaneOak,

Your experience is all so very typical.  And you went from DX to surgery at the speed of light.  And do not comapre yourself to what others have gone thru, for all of us, no matter the dx or treatment it is overwhelming and emotionally draining.  I am about a year and a half out from DX and will finish treament next month.  Th emotional piece will ebb and flow and eventually go to a back burner.  It may pop up at an unexpected time, but you will know what it is.  Honor your feelings, sit with it and then have ways that you can move on. It will get better, we all move at ourown pace thru thus journey.

Don't expect too much of yourself too soon.  Be gentle

Be well

Nel