Not too sure on diagnosis!

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lostandlonely_1305
lostandlonely_1305 Member Posts: 5
edited June 2014 in Caring for Someone with Breast cancer

HI, I was just wondering if any one on here could lend me their thoughts. I originally posted in another and was recommended to try here. My mum was diagnosed with breast cancer on 12.12.12, a week later it was found that it had spread to a lung and to lymph nodes. On new years eve she was admitted to hospital due to breathing difficulties, a day later they found that the cancer was in both of her lungs and she deteriorated so much throughout the day that she had to be sedated and put on a ventilator. SHe has been this way in intensive care since then. I was just wondering if anyone had experienced anything similar and has any idea of what I should expect. This all happened so fast as this time last month she was fine and healthy. My head is spinning and some advice would do wonders right about now. As I said I don't know the exact diagnosis as I have been kept more or less in the dark and given bare minimum details. Thanks in advance everyone. And My love and prayers to everyone x X X X

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  • melmcbee
    melmcbee Member Posts: 1,119
    edited January 2013

    Lostandlonely, Im praying for you and your family.  Wish I had some wisdom for you but I dont. Just take it 1 day at a time. And dont give up.

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited January 2013

    Lostandlonely, I don't have much advice to give, but I wanted to post to say how sorry I am for your mother, and for you.

    In terms of the diagnosis, what you know is that your mother is Stage IV with mets to the lungs, and that she currently needs to be sedated and needs a ventilator to breathe. I'm not sure that knowing any more detail about the diagnosis itself is going to be of much value or make any difference. My question to the doctors would be whether there is anything that can be done to improve the situation, to bring your mother back to a more manageable condition.  

    With your mother being sedated, is she in a position to make her own healthcare decisions?  If not, has she assigned her healthcare authority to you or to anyone else?  Are you authorized to act on her behalf, or is anyone else in the family in that position? Whoever is authorized to act for her should be able to get all the information available from her doctors. 

    (((Hugs)))

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  • lostandlonely_1305
    lostandlonely_1305 Member Posts: 5
    edited January 2013

    Thanks for replying and for your support. Beesie, yes my.father is in charge of her care but he is not a very good person I'm afraid. He has lied to us on several occasions so far and most information we have from him is unreliable. For example she has been in hospital since new years eve, there have been 3 occasions so far where he has told me that the Drs have told him she only has hours, or days max, to live. Each time I have eventually spoken to people at the hospital who have assured me that this wasn't the case. As you can imagine, this has made things really difficult. Thank-you very much tho for your help. All my love x x

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  • itsjustme10
    itsjustme10 Member Posts: 796
    edited January 2013

    I see you're in the UK...are you allowed to talk to your mom's doctors yourself?  I know you have universal health care, and things are very different for you than it would be for those of us in the US, so I don't know if that's an option for you - call her oncologist.

    If you can speak with one of your mom's doctors,maybe you can  ask them if they feel she is strong enough for them to try treatments to make her more comfortable and able to breathe on her own.

    My heart goes out to you - it's so frustrating to sit there and watch your parent deteriorate like that, and feeling helpless to do anything.  I've been where you are twice in the last 18 months.  It's good that you found this site as an outlet.  I'm sorry about your mom...

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  • Beesie
    Beesie Member Posts: 12,240
    edited January 2013

    lostandlonely, I'm just checking in to see how you are doing, and how your mother is doing.  I'm so sorry that you are facing this situation, particularly with your father being so difficult to deal with. 

    Sending (((Hugs))) and wishing you strength as you go through this ordeal.

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