December 2012 chemo group

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  • SharonS
    SharonS Member Posts: 326
    edited January 2013

    Jenjenl and Bren58. I did four rounds of taxotere, didn't do anything with my nails. I kept them but ended up with a line on each nail with each treatment which eventually grew out.

    Soteria so sorry you are having a bad day

    On the topic of chemo, rads, hormonal I think everything that reduces recurrence is worth it



    I did the BMX and thought all I would need would be hormonal but when I met with Onc she explained that bc my tumor was greater than 1 cm that Chemo would really further decrease my chances. So I went with it. I might have gone without the reconstruction if I knew I was doing chemo, but hindsight is 20 20.



    Ports are wonderful!!!!

    Hang in there all One day at a time

  • Sandra60
    Sandra60 Member Posts: 201
    edited January 2013

    Thanks Steiner _ I asked my onco for a prescription for the Prevacid ( basically s

    Ame as Prilosec ) so I will have it befor next infusio .

    Ok ladies - 2 questions

    1) anyone break out in acne on day 5-7 ? will it go away . Bald and with zigs is a lot too much !

    2) my scalp and other areas :). Are very itchy - is hair loss soon to follow .

  • beckstar18
    beckstar18 Member Posts: 253
    edited January 2013

    Runnergirl your experience with tx#2 sounds just the same as mine.  Glad you're feeling better now.  Enjoy dinner with your BF :)

  • kslansky
    kslansky Member Posts: 142
    edited January 2013

    I started with the itchies about a week after my first treatment. I started "shedding" on day 14. I had already clipped my hair short.



    I did not break out with acne on my face, but did on my scalp. MO diagnosed it as folliculitis and suggested I use my face wash on my scalp. She also recommended using an OTC cortisone cream for the itching. They both helped.

  • Jud
    Jud Member Posts: 26
    edited January 2013

    a lot to catch up on....I also am not icing my nails, however my finger tips do hurt and my nails are getting flat.... yes I am having radiation after chemo, my onco type score was 22 and I had a lumpectomy, so I will be doing the radiation and some hormone treatment, but not tamoxifen, because I had a complete hysterectomy 16 years ago at the age of 30.

    this second treatment has been different for me than the first, was constipated for 5 days, then got diarrhea all last night and today... also for the last few days every time I stand up, my ears start to ring, I get light headed, sometimes my eyes blackout, and I get very weak, like I am going to faint...at least I didn't have the bad body aches this time... yeah for that!!!!!



    I don't know about anyone else but I am really sick of looking at myself with no hair.... I don't mean to be a downer, but man, I really want to feel normal again... and to look normal again.....

  • Jud
    Jud Member Posts: 26
    edited January 2013

    I was reading in one of my information packets today that your hair starts to grow back three to four months after chemo is completed..... have any of you heard that???? Is that true????



    okay and since I am having a really shitty day and I am feeling sorry for myself (I am sorry about that)... are any of you able to (mentally) to have sex???? I had sex with my husband one time since my surgery, and I cried for twenty minutes afterwards...because the entire time all I could think about in my head, was CANCER, CANCER, CANCER.... and since then I have not been able to bring my self to do it... I know I am getting personal, but I just want to know I am not crazy....my husband is so great about it and everything... but am I crazy????

  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited January 2013

    No, Judaday, you aren't crazy.  

    On the day we receive our diagnosis - or for some of us, the first time we feel that dreaded lump that just doesn't feel right or like anything else our breasts have served up - everything becomes about cancer.  Or as you put it, CANCER, CANCER, CANCER.  That said, even the most pleasurable of acts can have that damn C shadow hanging over it. 

    On the up side - the good thing about sex/orgasms is ENDORPHINS!  And endorphins usually make us feel better.  And lots of orgasms make us feel lots better.

    Just a wild suggestion here but maybe if you look at sex/intimacy (and moreover orgasms - i.e. plural - i.e. as many as you can muster in one sitting - or, um, laying) as an act of healing (endorphins) perhaps you can find a way to enjoy it again.  I know it can be almost impossible to tune out the constant hum of cancer but by using endorphins to feel better then maybe you can sort of beat cancer at its own game.  

    Now, how's THAT for TMI?  Laughing

    Also, ((hugs)) because you're having a crappy cancer day.

    And the same goes to Paula as well ((Paula)).

  • Nicole503
    Nicole503 Member Posts: 295
    edited January 2013

    Judaday,

    The sex thing IS tough.  My husband and I have connected 3 times since surgery.  The first time I cried, like you.  Mostly because without any breasts it's just so damn different and I was both mourning the loss of that part of my body and also overwhelmed with hope that sex was still possible.

    The second time was kinda ho hum and I was definitely forcing myself to find enjoyment.  The third time was the best!  My advice is keep trying.  Use anything that helps you ... erotic stories, fantasy, whatever it is that makes you feel energized and happy and sexy.

    We haven't connected since chemo started and that is the next hurdle.  Wishing you and me both luck!

  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited January 2013

    One thing I've done is wear a tank top or camisole - not that there's any great mystery about what's underneath it because my husband is my wound-tender (his choice, not mine).  The camisole/tank top thing is for me - at least for now - while I have one with 150 cc and one with who knows how many ccs and these crooked "smiles" running across both pseudo-breasts. 

    Also, keeping in line with what Nicole said and hoping this isn't veering into TMI territory but since she mentioned erotic stories, fantasy, etc. I will add this three word suggestion of my own (not to sound too much like Sex and the City here): 

    1. Hitachi 2. Magic 3. Wand

    Oh, and word #4 to go with those three: endorphins.

  • Bren58
    Bren58 Member Posts: 1,048
    edited January 2013

    Sandra - yes, each tx brings the red bumps on my head. The first time they were itchy but not noticeable because I still had hair, but after this last tx I had the red bumps for about a week. They did not itch this time, but they look much worse since now all I have is short sparse stubble.

    Judaday - I am sorry that you are feeling so crappy. The lightheadedness, etc might be because you are dehydrated from the diarrhea so make sure you are drinking enough water. If it continues definitely call your MO.  Yes I hate looking at myself in the mirror too. Even when I put on makeup, I can't help but think how awful I look. The hats cover up the baldness, but I have never looked good in hats. The only time I feel somewhat normal is when I have on my wig, but that is only when I go out in public because I can't wear it for long stretches of time. So DH gets to see me looking crappy most of the time. He is a dear about it, but I still feel ugly.

    Lee - I am assuming that your tx went well yesterday since you did not say otherwise. I hope your SE's will be mild.

    mfml - Hoping your tx went well for you this time around.

  • PeggySull
    PeggySull Member Posts: 686
    edited January 2013

    Good-enough morning all. How is everyone doing?



    Had my third AC infusion on Monday. Okay Monday but by Tuesday down the rabbit hole again with the nausea (I have a whole arsenal of drugs and patches) but still this nausea will not respond. I just have to live through it.



    The fatigue this time is stronger than before.



    On the brighter side, I keep focusing on the fact that I only have one more of these AC treatments to go. Then I'll. be switched to every other week Taxol, which I'm told is less likely to cause nausea.



    Still trying to find out if my insurance company will pay for a PM with reconstruction. My

    surgeon's breast navigator is optimistic, but I will have to wait until end of Feb. to find out for sure. I meet with the PS around the same time or even earlier if I want. Once I see how the first infusion of Taxol goes, I think I will do a preliminary interview with him.



    I am getting used to wearing my Beau Beau scarves in public. Still haven't gone anywhere fancy enough to wear my wig.



    Just needed to check in with you all,



    Peggy

  • mfml
    mfml Member Posts: 77
    edited January 2013

    Good morning ladies - I have been offline for awhile.  Had AC #3 yesterday - and I am dissappointed to report I felt worse right aftter than I had my first two.  I wasn't quite as hydrated as normal - because we had a family party on New Years day - black eyed peas for good luck in the New Year - anyone else from the south do that???  I've forced my husbands Irish familiy in Boston to adapt this - I hopw it works this year!  The transfusion center was a bit busy - they must have jammed Tueaday's visit in with Wednesdays.  Anyway - for whatever reason didn't feel as well right after.  Slept with the bucket by my side for the first time - but I didn't need it TG. 

    I did find that xanax works better for me than ativan.  When I told my doc that I was having alot more trouble sleeping and more anxiety lately (probably because of the new TN news...) - she suggested that xanax might work better - and it did at least last night.

    I still haven't figured if max strength pepcid or prilosec is better - anyone find that one is better than the other?

    Well - I am here at work - going to try to muddle through at least 6 hours here.  I hope those of you who have had treatments are doing OK - we are all one step closer to done with this part - yay!

    Oh - and yes - I am plaqued by acne - head and scalp!  Yes - a brutal combo - no hair and acne.  its a real bummer on top of everything else.

    Mia

  • powermom
    powermom Member Posts: 195
    edited January 2013

    Paula - sorry you are feeling so bad this time.  Sounds like you had a busy day yesterday with your fittings and meeting with social worker, so that didn't help any.  I hope today is better.

    Runnergirl - hope your date was great!

    Everyone who is feeling yucky - better days ahead for us.

    Day 7 for me, and I'm feeling pretty blah.  Nothing specifically horrible, just no taste, weird tongue, and no energy.  I keep wondering if it's just me not trying hard enough to do stuff, but my gut tells me it's not just me.  Trying to up the hydration because I know I haven't been drinking enough.  Tried to go out shopping with my daughter yesterday to use a gift card she got for Christmas, but by the time I got showered and dressed, I didn't have the energy left to actually go.  It's hard for her to understand, but she seemed to forgive me.

    Yuck, yuck, yuck.

  • Nicole503
    Nicole503 Member Posts: 295
    edited January 2013

    mfml - I hope your workday is a kind one.   

    Question about weight.  Are any of you suddenly losing weight?  I am definitely one of those women who struggles to lose weight and I have lost 3 pounds in the last 3 days with no change to my eating.  I seemed to gain 5 pounds over the first 3 days after infusion but I assumed it was water weight from the steroid.  I could actually feel it in my cheeks!  That 5 pounds came off and I didn't think anything about it but now I am down 3 from when I started chemo 8 days ago.  Just wondering if others are experiencing weight yo-yo-ing like this?

  • FriendGwen
    FriendGwen Member Posts: 177
    edited January 2013

    Nicole - I have had the same weight increase/decrease through both chemo cycles. I'm on the down side now seven days post second infusion. When I went to the second infusion I was a half a pound up from my first infusion weight. It seems we bulk up during the first four days, then lose it and then some more and then add a couple back. I would love to keep it off but if I can even just stay the same thru treatment I'll be happy.



    Thanks for bringing up sex! Yeah not much action in our house but am confident it will return. DH has been great about it.



    I slept until 10:30 today and it completely screwed up my plans for the day. I'm still sitting and drinking coffee trying to find some energy.



    Anyone having total congestion? I really don't think it's a cold but just SEs.



    I find myself fascinated by my nearly bald head. I have taken some pix and then emailed them to myself (then erased off my phone!). I imagine I'll do a year in review next December.

  • jenjenl
    jenjenl Member Posts: 948
    edited January 2013

    I'm gaining weight - all i want to eat is cheese and strawberrys.  I'm obsessed.  My hair is hanging in there but it hurts at the scalp so I suspect it's coming up soon. 

  • beckstar18
    beckstar18 Member Posts: 253
    edited January 2013

    I'm gaining weight too darn it. Seriously, I feel fat and I'm bald and boobless Judaday, I'm with you on having a pity party together!  No wonder sex is off the mind!!  I have had it twice with hubby since surgery, cried the first time and the 2nd was better.  Haven't been successful since chemo started.  We tried once but it was painful for me.  He's been so good about it, I told him I'll make up for it one day!

    Those with red head bumps, I've been using Head and Shoulders and letting it soak on my stubbly scalp while I shower and it's kept the bumps at bay.  Hope this helps.

    Friendgwen, I have congestion too.  I keep saying I'm one missed vitamin dose away from a head cold!  My nose also has a constant drip, taxotere side effect I guess.

  • Runnergirl2013
    Runnergirl2013 Member Posts: 83
    edited January 2013

    Hi ladies - fun board!  I am hearing you on not feeling attractive and sex being hard.  I turn off all of the lights so my boyfriend can't see me during sex - he says he deosn't care but i don't feel sexy at all with my bald head. 

    I have to say how much better I feel after exercise and sex but yikes it's tough getting the motivation to do either ....hee hee.

    In terms of weight - i lose some during chemo but then ate way too many cookies and am up three lbs as a result. This sucks - bald and overweight! 

    Ok Friendgwen - my goal is to run a race on 4/21 and to not gain more weight!

  • sophiafred78
    sophiafred78 Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    No hubby or boyfriend here, but go ahead with the sex talk. I'm fine... YES I SAID I'M FINE!!! Yell

    Sorry for that.

    Just came here to share that whilst you were all trying to have sex with real men or electronic devices, I was trying to sleep and had my first breast cancer nightmare. And no, this nightmare does not involve sex. I'm sexless even in my nightmares.

    Disgusting description ahead *WARNING*

    I'm going to call it "Brest Cancer Cinderella". I was at a party wearing a beautiful dress, dancing, laughing with my friends and feeling all glamorous when I looked at my cleavage and I had two very nice breasts but then something that looked like mud started coming out from then. This thing started to go green and sticky and smelly and started dripping over the dress. I ran and put a jacket on, trying to hide it, started making escuses and looking for my keys so I could go home. People were looking at me like in that movie "Carrie" and that stuff started to dripp on to the floor. And I woke up. It was exactly like this, I'm not making it up, I'm sorry if I caused you some nausea Embarassed (there was a warning sign)

  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited January 2013

    sophiafred, that's an awful dream!  I have to tell you that I had a weird mastectomy dream at some point a few months ago and it haunted me for a few days.  Ugh, just thinking about it makes me feel squeamish.

    ---

    I must add that the wording on the first part of your post (pre-dream) along with your use of smiley/emoticon was so amusingly written - and this made me laugh out loud:

    "Just came here to share that whilst you were all trying to have sex with real men or electronic devices, I was trying to sleep"

    Sending you a big hug - just because you're dealing with breast cancer and still have a dry sense of humor!  

     

  • sophiafred78
    sophiafred78 Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    Thanks LeeA, we need our jokes now and then. Laughter is very important, or at least smiling... Sometimes I'm not sure you guys fully understand what I say, since I'm not a native english speaker. I sound like Sofia Vergara from Modern Family when I speak english :) I only SOUND like her, no other similarities...

    A big hug back to you 

  • FriendGwen
    FriendGwen Member Posts: 177
    edited January 2013

    Sophia!! I know that was a nightmare for you but my God your description was so brilliant I'm laughing! I think you outdid Stephen King with that one!! Sending you big non-oozy hugs! I will now read your posts in Sofia Vergara's accent!

    Runnergirl - yea for the 5k goal! I'm dragging DH to the 5k kickoff meeting next week. It's at the cancer support center which I have yet to visit. I like the idea of going as both a cancer survivor and runner.

    It looks like I'm getting a kitten!! I'm so excited. I put out the word a month ago and it's taken this long for one to find me. I have a dog and a cat but something about breast cancer diagnosis and my girls going to college in the same month got me thinking how much I need a kitten. Go figure.

  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Member Posts: 1,376
    edited January 2013

    We love Sofia Vergara! My husband thinks she's a HOT TAMALE!!!



    I had an appointment for bras and a breast form yesterday. Last night I dreamed hat the new foob was melting and oozing out of my bra.



    Paula

  • sophiafred78
    sophiafred78 Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    "I will now read your posts in Sofia Vergara's accent!" LaughingLaughingLaughing

    FriendGwen - My parents have dogs and I have two cats (Monica and Matilda). Couldn't live without them. Good luck finding your kitty but be carefull with his/her nails, they keep scratching your legs and arms when they're babies!

  • sophiafred78
    sophiafred78 Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    Soteria205 - A melting foob must be equally frightening Surprised

  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited January 2013

    jenjenl, what kind of cheese?  I don't know why I'm curious but I am!  

    I'm glad you can get strawberries this time of year.  

    I obsess over pomegranate arils but they're suddenly hard to find right now.

    ---

    Steiner, thanks for that tip on the Head and Shoulders.  It has been screenshot for the not-so-distant future Yell.  Is there a particular variety of it or is Head and Shoulders unlike all these other brands that have so many different formulations?  

    ---

    powermom, so sorry you're feeling blah.  When I'm not feeling well a shower can really knock the wind out of my sails.  

    ---

    bren58, yes, the treatment went well. I was up until 4:00 a.m. but I took two 1 mg. Lunesta at 3:45 and then slept until 10:30 a.m.  At 5:30 my husband woke me up to take the Zofran but I don't recall much about that - just fell back asleep on the sofa (where I had retreated to at 3:45) and ended up sleeping until 10:30.  I feel like taking a walk.  I'm wondering if it would be better to drive to the YMCA and walk their outdoor track (we have a beautiful, sunny day here) or walk the neighborhood.  Good thing about the track is - the car would be in the center of the track (parking lot) so I could make a hasty retreat if needed.  That might be the best plan of action.  I made a resolution (?), goal (?) to try to walk at least a mile a day every day in January.  Ha ha.  We shall see.  I was doing pretty good with the walking but then BMX, then the infection, then the port but everything I read stresses how important it is to try to exercise when possible.  Hope you have a good day!  

    ---

    Mia, glad you were able to forego the bucket but sorry you were feeling so poorly Frown.  Good luck at work today.  I am so inspired by those of you who work through this!  As an aside, the doctor who put in my port said that when he had cancer he never missed a day of work.  Amazing! 

    ---

    FriendGwen, we're on the same schedule today.  10:30 a.m awakening here, too.  This is very late for me so I'm feeling a bit out of sorts. 

  • LeeA
    LeeA Member Posts: 1,660
    edited January 2013

    sophiafred, I've been reading your posts since you showed up on the November 2012 surgeries thread and I've understood every word/sentence you've written!  I would never have known that English isn't your first language based on your writing style.  Now, I will pay even closer attention because I read that post of yours three times and laughed out loud every single time!  You're Italian, right?  Am I remembering that right?  

    My husband is Italian and both sets of his grandparents came here from Italy.  Needless to say, I love, love, love Italians because the ones I've had the honor to have known have been warm, loving, funny people!  

  • sophiafred78
    sophiafred78 Member Posts: 91
    edited January 2013

    LeeA, no I'm not Italian Frown But I am latin. Portuguese. But we have many things in common (portuguese and italians), southern europe, great weather, great food, soccer fanatics, warm people, and a very large public debt!    

  • MTJulie
    MTJulie Member Posts: 63
    edited January 2013

    I have to laugh when I read all your posts. I have been having my own pity party today, partly about my baldness, but also the whole disbelief/why me thing I keep revisiting. Since I had to delay my 2nd infusion until the 7th, I feel like I am doing the whole waiting game again and then I start worrying about all kinds of things.

    Those of you with the graphic dreams have my sympathy. You don't need to be a psychoanalyst to analyze the meanings of them!

    I have always told my children "this too shall pass". And it is true. We will all get through this. I am looking forward to summer.

  • elimar86861
    elimar86861 Member Posts: 7,416
    edited January 2013

    I had a particularly vivid, 5-act dream last night.  Kinda sci-fi, and too long to write it here, but it did seem to have a cancer sub-text also.  I thought it was from coming off of chemo, but my DH says it could have been from some prescription strength AZO I had been taking.  I don't know if it an individual thing, or an individual drug thing, but in some chemo is a dream killer and then others get the more vivid ones.  Weird, but entertaining.

    Low WBC and S/Es got too severe.  I'm on a break from my chemo, but have about a week more to go.  I hate chemo more than ever.  Barbaric!

    I haven't been keeping up with this fast moving thread and may not check in again, but wish you all strength to completion and may you remain cancer-free!

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