In shock

Hey Benny.......As requested, it is a beautiful sunny day isn't it! Hope you are feeling well enough for a BRIEF visit to your horse. If you can't get out there, at least sit in your sunniest window for awhile and imagine yourself on your favorite trail!

As much as I understand the "need" it seems like on the good days you have "overstayed" your time at the barn, then paid dearly for it in the following days. You need to find a balance. It's all about balance. This is not a short skirmish, it is a long war. Better to visit Diamond for a little bit regularly, than one long visit followed by many days of not seeing her. Kind of gives you back a little control, by controlling yourself, which really is the only control you have in this fight! Be a warrior, but fight smart! (did that make any sense)?????

I just wanted to pipe in on 2 things since I am 3 years out.



A's I mentioned when Benny switched from Neupogen (sp?) to Neulasta I think that has been easier. People respond differently. I had 8 dose dense (every two week infusions) of ACT so the first 4 doses were the Adriamyacin (red devil) and Cytoxan. Everyone said the red stuff was killer and I certainly did not like it and got my horrible mouth sores hence the mouth rinse I mentioned. But to s of people said the Paclitaxol /taxol (I know I spelled that wrong) which was the second 4 rounds was suppose to be so much better. So I was all excited when the AC was over. I can tell you I was pretty tired and I'll and did not find the taxol easier so I was disappointed. My point in sharing is you just never know! The effects being cumulative they speak about are mostly fatigue and maybe the lovely constipation. But amazingly once you are through it starts to improve pretty quick.



Nihahi maybe you did not get to enjoy the constipation we did : ). I think that is mostly due to all the newer anti nausea meds so you probably felt way more nausea than us ! I just had stage 1 of an SGAP Aug 14 and stage 2 Dec 14 where they did a number on my abdomen. Join us in the DIEP and NOLA group even though you probably won't go to NOLA we have lots of gals there with a wealth of knowledge and advice. I had horrid experience attempting implants in radiated tissue DIEPs and GAPs are a wonder!!!!

Nahiha- Definitely! I posted to Benny very early and I like to keep my eye on this group too!!!! I wasn't suggesting leaving here ; ) just didn't know if you had spoken to any of the DIEP veterans so you can get support for you when you are on that road : ). I think it is good to pay it forward but you also always have to take care of you too!



Cheers

Lesley

Totally! I saw your posts I just put 2&2 together saw you were the one asking about golf! I was pretty "chopped" up all summer so no golf yet we will see how it rolls next summer. I live on a country club course abd have a membership sk it has been tough to be sidelined : (



I cross country and snowshoe too, I am on the NV side near Tahoe. We got seven feet at the ski areas but I am NOT upright yet only 2 weeks post stage 2....stage 2 was big for me so it was actually rougher than stage 1. Stage 1 hip flaps was a little tough but ok. The tummy work at stage 2 is rough but come June, bathing suit weather, I am confident I will be loving it : )



Les

@ Carlads......the waiting is the hardest. Your mind takes you places you may not really need to visit, and it's like boxing blindfolded......you know you want to fight, but can't find a target! Hang in there.

You ladies arent hihjacking this thread...ill be needing bmx support mid next year so hang around here:)

Your imputs been great to all of us

Im going to enjoy NYE celebrations with the family...going to my parents house for a feast, always too much food...lol. !!! Right in time before my next chemo on 2nd jan!!



How is everyone celebrating leaving behind a hard year and into a bigger and brighter 2013????

Lesleyanne, you have me with a tissue under my glasses, tears tripping me !! You are on here helping us, and you are suffering yourself. Such another brave warrior sister. The things we have to go through to put our lives back together. No hi jacking involved either you will be helping our ladies who are travelling your journey in the future.((( BIG HUG ))) X

Nihahi, you too you have the t shirt on a lot of our problems. Input invaluable, we are all newbees and like little ones toddeling along looking for big sisters hands to hold and you two appeared. X

Traii,beautiful baby girl, thank you for thinking about me and no fire, thank goodness temperature not too bad about 9 deg today and soggy. Sooo miss the glow from the fire, may scrunch up some red shiny paper and put in the fireplace, at least it won't go on fire lol.

Your trip to the beach sounded lovely and the wig on so long, well done ! I did seven hrs the other day and then threw it across the room, if it was summer I would be out freaking out the neighbours with my gorgeous baldy head.Have this picture in my head of you in your little sun tent, how thoughtful people are. Hope today is just as good for you.

My baby bro coming this afternoon with his family. his eldest son is getting married in August the do is at a castle in Yorkshire ! Can't wait to meet the bride.His youngest son is married to a girl from america who is a sweetheart but has a gluten allergy and Chrones disease :-( Have choc cake and scone recipes that she should be able to eat so out will come the best tea set  ( my Mum's china ) for tea and cakes. How british can you get ?X

Dakota, hope you are ok ? and that the sledging was fun x

Benny, Hope we haven't heard from you because you have been busy with plush toy ? x

Can hear DH walking about upstairs think mugs of tea needed.

Catch up later, luv Edi X

It's like hiking in the mountains, ladies. Good to have someone with you who knows the trail ahead, but even the "veterans" need help to get across the tricky parts! I will gladly be a big sis! Wishing all the best to everyone for a strong, supported and loving New Year. 

Thank you so much nihahi and Lesley. Ur experience and knowledge for us is priceless.

Traii - so glad u had a great night!

Benny - u Rock glad u could get out fresh air must be wonderful.

Edi- u make me smile all the time so glad we net here

Lovemygoats and everyone cheers to the new year. I am so excited to end this one!!!!

Yay Benny!! You are doing it girl! And good enough roses Diamond 2 days in a row. Heed Nihahi's advice don't over do it so you can keep it up! Golly it lifts my spirits when you gals have good days! I am here for the bad days too, but I really don't feel as bad about my woes when you girls are rocking it!!!



Nihahi I don't mind one bit I am actually at the top of that mountain in my pic : ). That was weeks before I was diagnosed it was a 10+ mile snowshoe. I will get back there!! I plan to do the trek to Everest base camp NOT climb the mountain just base camp for my 5 year cancer-free-versify so I have to get healed up so I can start training ; )



Happy New Year! To the Australian and New Zealand gals and for the rest of us getting to the new year in the coming hours much love to all of you!

Carla, don't worry, we have all had the meltdown honestly. Mine was on the day picture it, me sitting in car on driveway wailing like a banshee. DH said ok if you don't want this we won't go. We went and all was fine and so much better than I ever expected.

I have steroids by IV as I am diabetic. All I know is they make me full of energy on the day. Not sure if supposed to do this but they do. Everyone has them as far as I know, sure one of the sisters will know more than me. I just go with the flow. Chin up chick, we will be there with you and for you. When is no 1 ?

Just googled why are steroids used with chemo. The Macmillan link very good. Seems they help with the anti nausea, and can make chemo more effective. Think my full of beans feeling is a side effect. Have a read and relax.

Edi X

LOVE LOVE LOVE the photo benny, you look soooooo good and happy, well as for Diamond, oh such a poser...lol

Carlads, oh my meltdowns, don't go there.. I'm dreading tomorrow, the unknown of my new chemo regime...but we gotta do it girl....steriods are to avoid reactions to the chemo... Taxotere I had them 8mgs x twice a day for 1 day prior to chemo, then on day of chemo and day after chemo....this time round with this regime I only need to have the steroids in the IV drip as does Edi and then I don't have to take them after as the regime I'm going to be on now doesn't really have a reaction.

My worst meltdown is really coming off the steriods , so Day 3-5 are my worst days, my hubby doesn't even know what to say or do because I just really 'go off at him' for the tiniest thing.....I just can't help myself, I tell him to snap me out of it but I guess its the DRUGS that are doing it to us.......don't stress too much, anxiety, meltdowns, highs and lows are all part of it......you will get through it just like we all will and you'll get back to that positive you, it might not seem so at the time, but you do.

Lovely picture, Benny - you both look so happy!



Carlads - hugs, meltdowns permitted , picking up the prescription pre chemo makes it very real. We'll be there with you through it all. Hoping for minimal side effects for you.



Edi - hope you are staying warm



Traii - replied to you on another thread, hoping your new chemo regimen is very kind to you, we will be there with you also on the second



Nihahi - nice to meet you. We will have to arrange a meeting of those of us here in the Calgary area. Thanks for your inspiration and support.



Dakota - hug those kids of yours and special hugs to you also



To all, Happy New Year, may 2013 be a much better year for all of us!



Take care