Feeling down

Hi Dani -so sorry to hear you are feeling down!

I don't have much advice to offer other than to the usual: try to get out, even if it's just for a walk around the block.  Remember that so many on these boards know how you're feeling, please keep reading and posting here.  Also, try to push aside thoughts of the co-worker's bad behaviour, you're obviously a far better person than she is, she's not worth your energy.  I know, I know, all easier said than done... but usually things get better eventually...we somehow manage to get past the bad times.

I am so glad you are able to talk to a therapist soon, please let us know how it goes!

Hugs,

Cathy.

Are you on anti-hormonals?  I can feel their effects on my mood right away.

Excercize is really a panacea.  I forced myself to walk a half hour today and i can't believe what it did for me physically an d emotionally.  When I told my onco that I was depressed he said "excercize".  when I told him I can't lose weight he said "excercize".  When I told him everything hurts he said "excercize will relieve the pain."  A half hour of excercize is supposed to be the best thing to prevent recurrence.  I'm so glad you got out today.  i have a hunch we just have to allow for this period of feeling down.  We've been through so much.  Personally, I think the adrenalin was pumping to help me get through the treatments, I had a lot of support then too.  But now that that's past there is a let down.

I thought I'd be elated to be done with it all.  Instead it's a battle to find my equilibrium.  And everyone has gone on with their lives and they think I'm ok.  So I started seeing a shrink too.  Not sure that it's helping though.  I think a half hour of excercize is the most powerful thing.

Cathy, how blessed you are to have such a good dr!  To have caught it this early is wonderful.

My mother also had a good dr who refused to renew her prescription for valium until she had a mammo.

She fought with him but finally gave in and he saved her life.

My dr, oth, said there was nothing there, when I pointed to the lump.  Two years later she saw it.

I could have had a DCIS diagnosis too, I bet.  Finding a good dr, that's the key.  And going every year, I did skip

a year....

I too feel very sensitive and have even felt suicidal last few days.....hate how I am, hate how I feel, hate feeling so abnormal compared to others, hate being one breasted and so resonate with the everyone expects me to be ok now treatment is over, it will never be ok and all my ribs hurt so much, I don´t want to live like this yet I don´t want to die either.........

Does it ever end? why aren´t I coping better?

I have felt depressed also after I finished with my rads.  For two months I was waiting for the other shoe to drop and I have not been exercising.  Then one day I told myself I can't continue living like this. What has made me feel better in the past?  I started listening to Joel Osteen podcasts and Oprah spiritual podcasts every morning on my way to work.  This has made a big difference. I feel a lot better, but I still have moments when it is difficult to be positive.  I did not put up the Christmas tree and I did not feel like Christmas shopping, but I think I'm getting better.  I'm getting my first mammogram since diagnosis 01/03/2012, so I'm hoping for good news.

Wishing everyone a healthy and prosperous New Year!

Hi all, I think what everyone is going through is so normal...it's just that we don't expect to feel like this.  We know logically that things will be better, but no one tells you it's a long, bumpy road to get there.  

As I scroll down this thread it looks like I'm the longest past treatment so far, and I can tell you that I still have ups and downs 15 months later...but they are getting milder and fewer and farther between.

It takes patience...be good to yourselves!

I'm seven months past surgery.  Had BMX to avoid side effects from treatment and to try and get on with my life as soon as possible.  I was able to return to work part time after two weeks and full time after five.  I ended up with a herniated disc  and sciatica six weeks after surgery that with three months of physical therapy improved.  Took this as a sign to retire so I can travel to see my grandchildren whenever I want.  I enjoyed doing things during the day instead of having to run around like a chicken with it's head chopped off on the weekend and not having a boss giving me a hard time when I needed to use my sick leave.  I live flat and am very happy with that choice and have no regrets with it.  Even my husband didn't want me to have to go through more surgery and says he doesn't see me as having no breasts.  All had been good up until two months ago when I would find myself wanting to cry for no reason at all.  When I saw my BS at the end of last month, I mentioned how emotional I can become and he said it's normal, after all I lost two body parts.  My husband who was wonderful through diagnosis and surgery now will tell me to "get over it you don't have cancer" when I react to an unexpected twinge along my surgery sites.  I even got that when the car seat belt irritated my chest.  I have been wanting to cry ever since.  This isn't like me.  I have always been able to bull my way through things.  I feel hopeless and don't know what to do.  I'm beginning to dread getting up in the morning and have had some terrible bouts of insomnia.  Do things get better? 

Timbuktu, I am so sorry to hear that your son and dil have done this to you.  Could it be the fear of them having to face mortality and not liking it that has done this to them?  Don't blame yourself for this happening.  There are too many outside forces that change our children from the way we raised them.