In shock

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  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    As instructed by oncologist, I am off to urgent care. Cry

  • carlads
    carlads Member Posts: 241
    edited December 2012

    Aw Benny,

    Please let us know how it goes at Urgent Care!  Thinking about you!

    Carla

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited December 2012

    Benny - Prayers are with you. Let us know. Wish I lived in Calgary to help you. Friends there for you?

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Benny, good luck hope they sort you out quickly, try and let us  know please, we will all be worried about you x

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited December 2012

    Edi - Buttermilk Scalloped Potatoes.  Lightly oil 8x8" baking dish. Peel and slice thin 3 large russet (white) potatoes. Thin slice one onion. Boil both in large pot salted water just until barely tender about 5 minutes. Drain, rinse with cold water and set aside. Melt 3 TBS butter in saucepan. Stir in 3 TBS flour and cook stirring for 2 minutes until golden and well combined. Stir in 1 1/2 c warmed buttermilk and cook, stirring, until thickened 4-5 minutes.  Add salt and pepper to taste and I add a dash of ground nutmeg.  Dump drained potatoes/onion in baking dish and pour sauce over lifting potatoes so sauce goes in between.  Bake uncovered 325 degress 1 hours (I think mine took a little longer) or until lightly browned on top. This makes about 4 servings - I adapted it it was originally only for 2.  Potatoes are hard to size; I would rather have excess sauce than not enough. I sometimes put a little garlic salt in too and paprika on the top for pretty color.  I buy the tangiest buttermilk I can find. I could just eat these by themselves.

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Luvmygoats, Thank you got everything but buttermilk heading to supermarket tomorrow, have got to try these. Will let you know verdict. x

  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Thinking of you benny....try keeping us all posted as Edi said we will be anxious to know the verdict x



    Luvmygoats...mmm making me hungry...might try that opposed to my french onion potato dish i normally make! Edi when u go out can u please pick me up some buttermilk too....!!!

  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    I'm back (fist pump)!!!!! He sent me home with a prescription for Amoxicillin!! So far so good. I feel semi-triumphant that I am not on my way to emerg. I have a lower respiratory infection, both lungs. I'm thinking that Neulasta shot is worth every cent, so far.

    Luvmygoats, I am trying that recipe as soon as I feel better. I have been craving scalloped potatoes for a few weeks now (along with my mom's spiced beef and Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is pretty weird for a vegetarian)

  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Oh benny what a bloody relief.. .you had us worried and no doubt eased your mind ;)

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited December 2012

    Yeah for Benny!!!  Urgent Care sounds soooo worth it. Are you keeping up with your protein intake? That's what a meat craving might make me think or maybe your hemoglobin is a tad low but you most likely just had that checked with your chemo.

  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Yes, a relief, so far. As long as the Neulasta keeps working. How long does it work for, anyone know?

    Luvmygoats, I haven't been able to digest any protein since I had the mucositis. It's strictly bland foods like potatoes, rice cereal, and the odd apple.

  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Benny,  I'm sure the Neulasta shot works the entire time as we get a blood test the day before chemo which will come out in the blood work whether or not it worked or not......due to the Neurophils (think thats how you spell it) and the White Blood counts will be within range to have chemo again.....

    When I use to have chemo back in 1996, I had to have these injections EVERY DAY...its good to see how far they've come by only now requiring the one shot 24 hours after chemo :)

    So long as it keeps working for us thats the main thing :)

    I also was reading about the lowered dosage of Taxotere having much less side effects then the full dosage and thought of your straight away.....I'm hoping you don't have to but if your onc recommends i would definetely go with that hun....you might get a few extra but the dosage would be smaller and more managable.

    Hope you have a good nights sleep tonight :) What time is it in Calgary ?

    In Melbourne, Aust it is almost 3pm 

  • websister
    websister Member Posts: 1,092
    edited December 2012

    Benny - glad things are improving. Bland foods like Greek yogurt, protein smoothies, milkshakes, puddings, omelette and other egg dishes that aren't spicy would all help supply protein with mucositis.



    Edi - Mom was doing OK up to yesterday when she had to be placed in isolation for flu like symptoms, high fever. They've asked me not to visit her until she is off isolation.

    I had a very nice lunch with my friends from my Day Surgery days today, weather much improved here.



    Have a good weekend everyone

  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Oh, that's good to know, Traii. My temp is slightly higher tonight than it was last night so am wary but still trying to stay positive. I am terrified of ending up in hospital again.

    It's so unfair that you have already gone through this once Frown A person shouldn't have to go through it once, let alone twice.

    It's 9:00 p.m. here in Calgary and I am up watching Mantracker and drinking as much water as I can manage. I'm afraid to go to sleep because I am afraid my temp will go up in the night. Next Amoxicillin dose will be at midnight. Hope it's enough work.

  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Can you have some panadols before you go to bed so that your temp stays down ?

    Thanks hun, I know its unfair on all of us.....I was younger back then, blocked out as much as I have , I fought Hodgkin's Disease and  I will fight this too just like all you sisters will.....and yes, as we say, this too shall pass Smile

    Well I hope you're all cosy watching Mantracker drinking your water and relaxing NOW finally.

    Don't be scared to sleep.....just don't overheat yourself....(hope its not too tonight in Calgary!)

    Websister, hope your mum gets out of isolation real soon and better so that you can go visit her.....glad you had a nice lunch :)

  • Bevlee
    Bevlee Member Posts: 28
    edited December 2012

    Hello Ladies..  I'm back!

    Just had a quick read back of how you guys are going.. soldiering on!! xxxxxxx 

    I've been bloody neutropenic with a temp and that sore throat going around and in hospital since Christmas Eve.  Finally set me free yesterday.  I shouldn't have said how well I was doing!!!  I just went in to get my bloods done Christmas Eve on the way to shopping... and wandered up to the chemo ward to mention my sore throat.. yep, temp taken and in Emergency!!  I missed Santa. Was bummed out about that but they did let me out a few times during the day.  Then back for more antibiotics... and to sleep there.

    Hope you're feelin better Benny.. it SUCKS indeed! 

    Thank you Alice for your great words.. xxx

    Carlads, I struggled to decide on the chemo thing too.. so scared of the comfy chair.. I'm one treatment into a 'short & sweet' course, as the Onc called it (4 treatments, 3 weeks apart).  I do worry that a 'short and sweet' course might not do the job required!!!???? ...but I sure don't want extra..!!??? 

    Better go get the vaccuum, I'm malting all over the place.  Think I'm days away from a bald head!!!  Woke up this morning with a brazilian!!!!

    Love to you all

    XXXXXXX

    Beautiful Balding Bevlee 

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Benny, sitting here tea in hand and cheering that you are home !! So glad they sorted you. :-) Never be reluctant to ask for help, I am sure that in your job you are always helping others, now it is your turn.

    As Traii says the Neu shot lasts, I have one after every chemo and as and old friend used to say " worth its weight in duck sxxt " lol.

    I know you have mashed pots, have you tried beating in an egg then dropping spoonfuls onto non stick pan, when one side golden, flip over until golden brown. Very tasty and bit more protein for you.x

    Traii, looked up buttermilk on google last night, it says you can make a substitute by adding spoonful of lemon juice to half a jug of milk. May try that to save paddling to the shops. Saw Noah looking for spare wood again this morning.

    You are a heroine to me, as Benny says the fact you have done this journey once already gives us all hope, love you lots like jelly tots x

    Websister, oh your poor Mum, hope symptoms improve soon, glad your meal went well.You take care of yourselfx

    Bevlee, You poor thing, what a bummer, whipped into hospital over xmas. Main thing is that you are ok :-)If hair almost gone, get it shaved soooo liberating.Think mine is now growing back,lots of fluffy bits all over.x

    Carla,Bearcub, luvmygoats,lesleyanne,jennie and anyone else on here, SE free and joyful day to you.

    I am off to see Peter Pan panto with GD this afternoon. So excited she may disown me for making a show of myself " he's behind you "lol.

  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Hey girls.



    Benny soooo happy for u. The antibiotics will kick in for sure. It's 6:45 am and I am on my way to soccer. So glad to hear from all of u! Have a great day everyone. Soldier on!!!

  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Bevlee, good to hear from you fellow Aussie chick.....not liking the sound that you were in hospital Undecided

    Glad though you are all better and at home even if you are shedding your gorgeous curly locks, they will be back in no time...perhaps straight hair and I'll get your curls Smile

    Benny, hope you are having a nice peaceful sleep and only waking to go pee ... lol

    Edi, cyber mummy....me, heroine, no lovely lady....we are all heroines...we just doin' what we gotta do....which is beat this thing straight in the butt and move on.....I'm glad we all have eachother...its so much easier this time around for me as I have you ladies to help me through it all , back in the day I had no one to talk to that was going through the same thing, this makes it oh so much easier I feel 'normal' lol....love you like a kid loves candy  Wink

    Dakota, good to hear from you girl....you are such a good mummy, waking up so early on a Saturday morning going to soccer and I bet its a cold morning ?

    Well it's just on midnight here....best I get to bed (though I'm not tired ) as we are going for a 2 hour drive to the beach tomorrow, my brother is there camping and so is one of my cousins and we are going to go on my cousins boat and do some fishing, lets just hope we catch some fish...so I've got a hat to put over my wig tomorrow so I don't loose that expensive hair of mine...lol

    Hope you all have a good Saturday with nil SE's for all....Benny, keep up those fluids girl and I'm sure you'll be waking up feeling like a new woman once that antibiotics kicks in and hopefully eating more than just your plain ol' boring bland food Tongue Out

    xx Tracey xx

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited December 2012

    I have to say, you are amazing women (warriors)! I am a 20+ year survivor and I just found this site a few days ago. I was looking for some info/support about diep surgery, as I am at the point of finding the most disgusting outhouse in the world and tossing my implants down there for eternity! My husband thinks I'm crazy (fair opinion, I'm told by friends) for spending so much time reading through posts of women who are just starting out on their new "lives". I was up until 3:30 am reading through each and everyone of the messages on this thread and feel better about myself now than I have in years, as it has been the smack in the head that I have always needed. Ladies, I had a mastectomy and chemo 20 years ago. From what I have read from you, believe it or not, things have improved incredibly for you. You will get through this!!!!!!!! Then....you will realize how incredible you are. I bet none of you thought of yourselves as brave, feisty, fighters who would cheerfully tell someone to "get the hell out of my way, Im dealing with cancer and don't have time for your problems"! The one positive thing cancer will do, is bring your bravery out of the closet. 20 years ago, I had no family near, two very young children, a good husband but he had a high stress job, not much money, etc...... Now, my biggest concern is will the diep surgery screw up my new found fun at golf this summer, and when will my "newly cold sensitive" nose (from recent skin cancer surgery) settle down so I can get out snowshoeing and cross country skiing! Time changes your perception!!!!!!!

    Benny, websister....I live in Okotoks. If I can help you in anyway, let me know. Benny, you write that you are a social worker.....you need to make yourself your top "client". First suggestion....baby food.....soft and easily digested. Not expensive, quick to "prepare" on your tired days. Not sure about the gluten free, though, but I bet it's out there! Biggest help I can give re: chemo. Have them run your anti-nausea drugs for a good 10 minutes into your iv before starting with the cancer guns. Really, really helped me.

    Hang in there guys, hope you don't mind that I have been lurking!

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Nihahi, Welcome and you can lurk here anytime. You can be an honorary  warrior ! 20 + now that is fantastic !!We need sisters like you to prove there is a future.Thank you for your post.

    What is diep surgery ? sure that by the sound of things nothing will stop you having fun.It must have been awful for you back then but you kicked its butt. Sure our Benny will take on board the anti nausea advice. Please keep visiting us.

    Edi X

  • bennymuffins
    bennymuffins Member Posts: 412
    edited December 2012

    Hi everyone! Got through the night (with peeing only, Traii lol), no fever, no problems, Amoxicillin seems to be working well, as evidenced by the foul taste in my mouth, but that is not a complaint! I actually feel a bit better today. Not good enough to visit Diamond, but maybe tomorrow????

    Bevlee, I am impressed at how upbeat you sound after that miserable hospital trip! You're following in my footsteps Laughing I'll bet the nurses loved you tho'. Mine were begging the oncologist to discharge me (grin)

    Edi, that potato-egg idea sounds fantastic! Almost like a potato pancake sorta thing. I am going to try it tonight and see how it goes. My stomach doesn't seem to want to accept anything with protein. It's weird. I just polished off a big bowl of carrot soup so I am moving away from the white foods into a bit of color now heehee. How was Peter Pan? Was it a musical?

    Nihahi, so glad you popped in! I can't believe you got through 38 pages of messages! Your eyes must have been almost crossed by the end. I agree about the kick-butt attitude, altho' mine tends to sag a bit when I'm really sick. The other thing i noticed is how people who are not dealing with this disease seem to catastrophize the smallest things in their lives. For instance, a friend on Facebook was so upset all day because she had ordered a specific lamp for her barn and the wrong one came in. Huh? That ruins your day? Oh dear time to prioritize. I will most definitely stock up on baby food for next time, and lots of bland soups. I must credit the lowly white potato, tho', for getting me through this far. I am very worried about the mucositis issue because it was pretty intense pain (it broke through codeine) and I've heard chemo side effects get worse with each cycle. Onco wasn't kidding when he broached the subject of a feeding tube.

    Okay, I am off to do laundry (again). It's piled high as the rafters in the basement but I've run out of clean thermal socks so that's what's motivating me to get down there and start. I love my thermal socks. Thermal socks and cowboy boot slippers. Yup, a real fashion plate.

  • Dakota212
    Dakota212 Member Posts: 1,153
    edited December 2012

    Benny yay!!!!!!!

    So proud of u and to do laundry too. OMG!! We are in the midst of a snow storm. Only 6-8 inches and they think its a blizzard!!! Good excuse to cuddle under blankets with kidos !!! Hope everyone is feeling a whole lot better!!! Love u all !!!! Muah :)

  • luvmygoats
    luvmygoats Member Posts: 2,942
    edited December 2012

    Yeah Benny - I have on a loverly mix too. Mens plaid shirt, maroon pants not quit sweats, red plushy socks and some kind of old gray sweatshirt jacket over it all. Thank God my DH does NOT expect a fashion plate. The sun is out and its actually got to 48 degrees. Don't know about thermal socks. I do know I change socks, well actually rotate pairs, every couple hours cause my feet get cold/sweaty. Know about laundry, too. Need to strip bed linens since I just bleached a load of towels and usually send something not too colorful thru after that.

    Praises for amoxicillin. I would think eggs might go down good with your lowly white potatoes. And they don't need much dressing up. If you can't handle the yolks just use the whites. I think Edi is talking about potato pancakes.

    Nihahi - Welcome to this crazy group.

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Benny< you have no idea how much your post has cheered me and everyone else up. Laundry wow now that sounds more like our Benny, carrot soup too, you will be able to see in the dark for all the peeing lol. The mash and eggs mix was one of my Mum's comfort foods suppose they are like pancakes we call them potato fluffs. Hope if you tried them they didn't upset your tum.

    Peter Pan was a pantomine, do you have them in Canada ? It is a xmas tradition here, yes it was musical and very good too. There is lots of cheering for the main characters and hissing and booing for the baddies. Real audience participation, GD was entranced it was her first one ever, two Nana's and Mummy all joining in, think we enjoyed it as much as her.Stopped on way home for chips ( fries ) with salt and vinegar wrapped in paper and eaten with fingers, yum. Another tradition lol.

    So glad your tablets are working I have two days of cefalexin left for my infection and hope it stays away. Next chemo think I will ask Doc for some in advance as Onc seems to think this will be a regular occurence :-(

    Still Benny we are all getting there aren't we ? So hope a visit to Diamond will be your next step. X

    Dakota, glad to see you are still doing well x

    Luvmygoats,We should publish a magazine article on how to stay comfy while on this journey if not exactly glamerous. I have on fleecy pj's black fluffy pull on hat,( wig flung when came in from panto ) fluffy bedsocks and tempted to top it all off with fluffy dressing gown. DH says wear more going to bed than I do in the day lol.

    Our gas fire finally gave out this afternoon and can't get a new one for at least 4 days as all suppliers are on holiday.Just praying boiler doesn't pack in and the central heating stays on.Hope you are ok. x

    Heading for my nice warm bed, see you all tomorrow.

    Edi X

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited December 2012

    You're not crazy, I think you are all "my kind of people". (hint...you should now start to worry abit about what defines sanity!). Benny, I can tell you're a fighter. Vent away during the down times. You don't have energy to spare trying to conceal your emotions or worrying about making others feel badly. Being a social worker, and a lover of animals, you have to have a lovely warm soul, just make sure to use that compassion on yourself. Feel free to toss any advice I may give out the door, but I do have a couple other thoughts for you. Being a vegetarian with gluten issues, have you tried quinoa? Also, one of the few things I could keep down during chemo was Pedialyte. A liquid nutritional substitute used for kids who are sick, to help keep their electrolytes balanced. So mild it is even used in bottles for babies. Might be good to ask one of your onco nurses first, but might work for you. It has been pretty grey, cold and short on sunlight around our part of the world since all this "slammed down on you". Here's hoping we get some Alberta sunshine to lift your spirits soon. 

    Edi - you are such a hoot. I love your "expressive" writing. I have a couple very good friends who are British, known them for years. There are still times when I burst out laughing and have to tell them....I know you're speaking English, but I have no idea what you're talking about!

  • nihahi
    nihahi Member Posts: 3,841
    edited December 2012

    @ Edi......sorry, clicked on submit before I remembered to answer your question about "what's diep". Can I still claim chemo brain? DIEP flap, stands for deep inferior epigastric perforator, a type of breast reconstruction that takes skin and fat from your tummy to make a new breast from your own tissue. I have tried the no reconstruction, tissue expander, saline implant routes, and none of them worked for me. I am now waiting (there's that w word again!) for a consult appointment with a plastic surgeon to hopefully get a surgery date. BIG surgery, hip to hip scar, but should be the end of reconstruction woes for me. Would you believe, my tummy seems to be shrinking as I wait, and all I can think of is "oh no, my breast is melting"! 

    Ladies, once you truly find your warrior courage, you never really lose it! I was explaining the diep surgery to a "friend" (note please the "", as I have now decided to downgrade her to "acquaintenance"). Her comment was "I can't believe at your age you're bothering, why not just accept having 1 breast." I looked her dead in the eyes and said "I don't think someone your age who pays $$$ a month having her hair dyed to hide the gray, has the right to tell me how many breasts I should be able to accept!" She gasped and said I find that comment totally uncalled for, I replied "score one for my side!"

  • Jennie93
    Jennie93 Member Posts: 1,018
    edited December 2012

    nihahi, LOL!  Your reply was perfect!  I'd be downgrading that "friendship" too, but at least she all gave us a good laugh for today.

    benny, I don't think it's necessarily true that the SEs get worse each time.  I asked my onc that very question, about whether it was cumulative, and she flat-out said no, she expected them to be pretty much the same every time, the only thing that tends to increase over time is the fatigue.  Well, I honestly don't know if she was lying through her teeth or really believes that, or just tries to give everyone a positive attitude, but it has not exactly been true, for me at least.  It's not so much that every time is worse, but every time is somewhat different.

    The aching-all-over part has actually been a bit less every time, but the nausea a bit worse every time.  The sore mouth was worst after #1, but the sore throat is worst after #4.  Had no issues with fingernails after #1 & #2, but the tenderness in the nailbeds started after #3 and got worse after #4. (even though I put my fingers in ice during the taxotere part during #3 & 4, but not #1 & 2.)  Twitching eyelid started after #2 and has been unchanged ever since.  Watering eyes started after #3, hot flashes after #4.  You just never know what's in store, I guess.  My hands get sore every time, but the numbness in the fingertips didn't start till after #2, and that does get worse each time.  The skin peeling off my fingers was moderate after #1, terrible after #2, but only mild after #3.

    Anyway, you just never know, so hang in there.  It seems like #2 has been much better than #1 for you, at least.  Maybe they will tweak your drugs/dosages again and next time will be a walk in the park.  (We can always hope!)   :-)

  • scouser47
    scouser47 Member Posts: 963
    edited December 2012

    Nihahi,you are defo a warrior sister ! thanks for info on procedure, fascinating but wonderful  it gives you back your breast. Friends huh, don't start me ! sometimes I really think people don't want you to be happy as it makes them feel better. As my mum used to say " with friends like that, you don't need enemies ".We Brits do ramble on but you just gotta hang on in there, it will make sense one day lol X

    Jennie, think you are right about se's, not really worse just slightly different each time. I am sure that our Benny will really cope well next time, she is fighting hard and as long as no more bugs come along can see her back on her Diamond very soon.The fatigue is the one everyone says is cumulative ,but hey ho we just rest when and if we can. They tweaked my dose and some of the se's ( furry tongue, dry mouth ) only lasted half a day instead of two days.X

    Happy Sunday everyone.

    Edi X

  • Traii
    Traii Member Posts: 1,138
    edited December 2012

    Benny, glad you had a good sleep girl and hope you have another comfortable nights sleep with minimal carrot colour pee...lol . We are all hoping too that you will be good to go and see Diamond tomorrow.

    Edi, sounds like your Peter Pan day was a joy....good to hear you had fun. Hope those tablets are doing there job and no more infection....that damn heater ... 4 days...now whom allowed those workers to have holidays when my Edi needs her gas fire fixed ..... damn workman..! lol

    Dakota, your day rugged up with the kids under a blankie sounds so nice....my day today consisted of 12 hours out at my brothers camp site at the beach, yes I wore my wig for more than 12 hours today with a cap on and I was fine...longest I've EVER worn it and I even got asked where I got my cap from cos the lady loved it...lol I was going to say and my hair well I bought that on line from China.....lol.

    Nihal, welcome yes to this crazy group of girls....lol.......AND I LOVE your response to your so called friend....ummm couldn't have put it better myself.......glad you now have her as your acquaintenance opposed to a 'friend' !!

    Luvmygoats and Benny, now you girls just sound so sexy. definetely need to post pics of you models...lol......so long as you're all comfy who cares what you are wearing :)

    Fatigue definetely a cumulative SE , tongue issues always the same as for the yuck taste too...but one chemo for me was worse with neuropathy than the last so go figure......tis what it tis I say...we have to go with the ride and there will be light at the end of that tunnel for all of us :)

    Enjoy your Sunday ladies.....best I head off to bed, big day ahead for NYE tomorrow (well today its 12:15am here) so need some shut eye after a hard days work at the beach ... yes I slip slop slapped as they say with my SPF30+ and did stay in this little hut thing (like a little tent) that my sis n law and brother put up for me to sit in and relax :)



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