January 2013 chemo group

Aw, SherylB, I'm sorry you're having a rough day. It's crazy how things just sneak up on us. I've been feeling oddly at peace with everything, and then one of my colleagues brought me a homemade Christmas gift and told me she loved me, and I totally burst into tears. I couldn't even tell you -- or her -- why. It just happens.

I'm still having lots of swelling from my lumpectomy, too; they took out loads of tissue, but that breast is currently a bit bigger than the whole one. It's mostly numb, though, so I'm not in much pain, but I'm starting some PT soon for tightness in the left arm and chest. Are you doing anything for the cording problems?

Sending lots of good thoughts and big hugs. You'll get through this.

(((hugs)))

Bryona, Just stretching for the cording at this time. I am having my port put in Friday and will talk with my BS then. Due to the holidays it has been really hard to reach anyone and I am tolerating it pretty well. Yeah these emotional swings are rough. Since this is the most frightening thing I have ever faced I guess it is normal, at least for me.

Thanks for the hugs and wishes. Sheryl

Anne, I am with you on the breast soreness. Still having soreness and intermittent shooting pains. Still swollen, both breast and arm pit and some cording. I have full range of motion but think wow if I am reacting like this now how am I gonna deal with the chemo. From past experience I do deal I just really hate the friggin waiting. Spoke with my surgeon's nurse today who said " you will have some soreness". Cripes lady the surgery was 3 weeks ago and this is a bit more than sore. Bet she has never had her boob cut open!!. I think the worry that something may be wrong is what makes the discomfort an issue more so that it normally would. But why wouldn't I worry I sure didn't think I would have breast cancer either. Oh well we just have less than two weeks before we get our first chemo. I think, (notice I said think) I can handle the SE's I am just fearful of what they will be. Oh well, I have always been a worry wart so why should this be different. Thank you for the positive thoughts.

Sheryl

Carla, I'm sorry you're struggling with second-guessing your treatment. For me, that just leads to obsessing, which leads to lots of stress and not nearly enough sleep. As if any of us needs more stress or less sleep!

I'm sure that a certain amount of questioning is natural. Having said that, I'm a big fan of second opinions, mostly because I'm a big fan of finding a doctor I can trust enough to stop me from second-guessing everything. But that's what works for me. Only you know if a second opinion is the right thing for you.

Just remember, your peace of mind matters. We're all carrying enough of a load as it is; none of us should be carrying extra worry if it's not necessary. If you think getting a second opinion will give you more confidence and make you feel better, you should go for it. 

Trust your instincts, and take care of yourself. (((hugs)))

Good morning everyone!  I wanted to pop in and say hello.  I am an alumni (crazy word, I know!) of the January, 2012 chemo group.  I live in Michigan (am digging out as we speak) in Jackson, where I had both my chemo and rads (an amazing oncology group here - just got back from an MO appointment this morning, in fact).  I've been reading your stories and I remember so very many of the things you're feeling, even a year later.

The anticipation was the worst.  My emotions were all over the place until the day of my first chemo; once I started "active" treatment I felt like I was doing something proactive and it really helped quell my fears and anxiety.  A little advice from someone who's been there, done that, got the ugly t-shirt:  pharmaceuticals are your friend right now - take whatever you need to help you through this time, whether it's for nausea, constipation, or anxiety.  I had a close, personal relationship with Xanax for several months, as well as Valium (for sleep) and Ativan (during treatments).

I had side effects, to be certain; was blessed with NO nausea or vomiting, ever.  Instead I dealt with alot of exhaustion (a tiredness that you've never felt before).  If you're taking Neulasta shots, consider also taking Claritin (for some of us it helped counteract the potential bone pain).  Treatment is the hardest thing I've ever done, but I'm so proud of myself for going through it, enduring, and even celebrating. 

You're all so incredible, remarkable, and beautiful.  You will get through this!  And there are so many of us here, supporting you and cheering you on.  Just let us know if you need anything along the way.

Much love, light, and positive healing energy is coming your way.  Good luck and bless you all.

Nancy

Dear all,

I just wanted to drop in and tell you that I started chemo on January 16, 2009.  I was never more frightened of anything in my life.  It took all my will just to get in the car.  I had had a lumpectomy and had hoped that my oncotype score would come back low, but it was in the intermediate range, so I chose chemo.  

Turned out that it was not as horrible as I thought it would be.  I was able to pretty much work through the 3 treatments, although I did feel often as though I had the flu.  I shaved my head about a week after the first treatment and wore a killer wig.... I was done by the end of February (I had 4x every other week).  Then moved onto radiation.

I tell you this because right now it looms large for you and feels like the biggest thing ever--I am not trying to minimize it--side effects are different for everyone.  But trust me, it does end and things get better--way better!!!!!

Best of luck-- good that you are all keeping each other company--you will get the best info from others here... 

Good luck!!

Good luck today Sandra!

I took a 24-hour Claritin (not Claritin-D) about an hour before going to get my shot, and then for about five days after.  Never had a lick of pain because of the Neulasta!  Of course, maybe I wouldn't have had pain without the Claritin, but I wasn't willing to take that chance.

Sandra, so happy everything is going so good.  I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your infusion.  Looking forward to updates in a couple days.  Hugs, Anne 

Skigirl, try not to worry too much about brows and lashes. Lots of people don't actually lose those, even if they lose the hair on their heads. (Having said that, I admit to obsessing over the possibility of losing nose hair and having a runny nose for the next 6 months...) How did the haircut go?

NancyHB and momand2kids, thanks for stopping by, for the encouragement, and for the advice.

Sandra, happy to hear things are going well so far. Those warm blankets ARE wonderful! I wonder if I can order a view of a fountain, too... Keep us posted, and take good care of yourself.

Carla, I meet with my MO Jan. 10, and I'm still hoping that somehow she'll say I can do TCH and not AC-TH. Did you have any lymph nodes involved or any LVI? Or did you have oncotype testing done?

Skigirl, I think your new 'do looks adorable!

Thanks for the compliments on the hair!! It's a little poofy for me but that will be fixed tomorrow.  I am glad I did it. I hope it softens the blow when my hair starts to fall out... And the journey continues.

Hi to all,

Thanks to you love alumni ladies for posting...and for you sisters who are just beginning.  My date is January 9th.  I actually had 3 opinions with oncologists.  The one that I absolutely LOVED is not who I am going to however because his treatment center was just ...cold.  Nothing warm and inviting about it at all.  So...those feeling do matter.  All three suggested the same regimen and all three are triple neg experts.  I'm doing T/C and have diecided to go with the flow.  I realized this afternoon that my hair will come back...last May I burned a pretty good size chunk while trying to flat iron it...and I came to the brilliant conclusion that if...if if...my hair comes back at the rate the burned hunk did I should be OK by late summer :-)  So...if I begin griping remind me OK??!!??

Much love and snowy greeting from here in Michigan

skimommi, I hope you took that bike ride, and I hope it helped. For me, exercise is the #1 best way to vent that kind of pent up frustration, resentment, and anger.

I also think you need to be free to feel how you feel. If that means you need to have your house back to yourself, then that's what you need. Even without any pent up resentment towards your dad for whatever has come in the past year, you'd have the right to put yourself and your needs first. I know I'm struggling with feeling like I have to stay positive for everyone, and even if no one else puts that burden on me, the fact that I put it on myself means it's tough to be around other people sometimes. I only feel safe throwing my pity-parties when it's a party of one. If my friends and family care, they need to respect that I need space. (And if they don't care, screw 'em.)

Thinking about your mom must be really stressful. I'm sorry you have that extra burden. As if you need any extra burdens right now.

I'm sure the trip to Florida will be great, but maybe it would help if you did something really nice for yourself right now. Something that you don't need to look forward to and therefore worry about. Maybe something that will make you laugh.

(((((hugs)))))