Triple negative stage IV Breast cancer "Really scared"

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debbiej
debbiej Member Posts: 72
edited June 2014 in Triple-Negative Breast Cancer
Triple negative stage IV Breast cancer "Really scared"
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  • debbiej
    debbiej Member Posts: 72
    edited December 2012

    Hi,  I am new to this board as of today.  I was diagnosed in Sept with breast cancer Stage I, got a lumpectomy in Oct. and was told I was cancer free.  Oops!  Did we forget to mention those lung nodules we saw on the xray before doing your surgery?  Lymp nodes were clear by the way so it is probably nothing.  Except that it wasn't nothing, it took another 8 weeks to find out that the cancer had spread to my lungs.  We were devastated!  I was told my best chance would be to have lung surgery to get the nodule out which turns out to be larger than the breast nodule.  I am a week out now from that surgery and I can't stop having panic attacks about dying.  I have not started any other treatments yet.  I have to wait to heal properly from the lung surgery.  They took out an entire lope in my right lung same side as the breast cancer.  I did have a pet scan before having the lung surgery to make sure it was indeed cancer.  Docters would not believe it because nodes were clear.  Now I am taking some pain meds for the surgery and finding it hard to eat anything and have lost 10 pounds.  I know my nerves are part of that.  I wish there were a pill I could take to keep my spirits up.  So much has happened in such a short period of time.  I am overwelmed.  Everyones acting like I am going to die without saying so, which I may, who knows?  I really need help from someone who has been there and is still going strong.  I have a 36 year old daughter, a 33 year old son and an 11 year old son, yes I said 11, I was 45 when I had him.  He told me I could not die because he's just a little kid and he needs me.  I know everyone who has been in this boat feels the same and when I see the little children at the clinic it just breaks my heart.  The why, never leaves me.  Not me, but why them?  How do you get through the day?  The mornings when I wake up are the worst, I find myself not wanting to get out of bed.  My husband has been a great comfort but I know his heart is breaking.  The feeling of doom is always there.  If you all can think of anything to help us get through this I would be forever grateful!!!     Debbie

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited December 2012

    I am so very sorry to hear your story.  It's just so unfair, especially thinking that you were stage 1, no nodes, only to find out that it was in your lung as well.  I can well imagine your shock as I am triple negative too, diagnosed almost 4 years ago (the coming Feb will be 4). I wish I had some magic potion to sprinkle over you to make this all go away. It's going to take some time just to get over the shock of the change in your path and diagnose - and trying to recover from a serious surgery such as you have had, will take time for your physical as well as your mental health to stabilize again.  Please know that right now you need to recover so that you can continue to fight this beast.  Keep yourself enveloped in the arms of your loved ones for added strength, and know that you have many arms to hold you up here, as well as many hands to hold on to yours through this.  I ask that you please post this as well on the Stage IV thread and Triple Neg thread, as there are many of the arms and hands I mentioned to you above - awaiting you.  Sending hugs and nothing but all good wishes to you,

    Linda

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited December 2012

    Debbie, -

    Oh my gosh, I forget the most important part of my post above and I apologize and will add it here.  At the time I was diagnosed, I met another triple negative sister, with almost the same path and treatment.  I had AC/T and she had T/C.  We are still very "cyber-close" to this day.  However, shortly after her treatments ended, it was discoverd that she had a nodule in her lung.  Her's turned out to be a separate lung cancer, not a spread of her breast cancer; but she too lost an entire lobe so that they could remove the nodule.  She had a really rough time recuperating, as lung surgery is not an easy thing that one just snaps back from, but  - remember, please - she too is triple negative, she had one positive node, and the cancer later found in her lung.  She too will be celebrating her original BC anniversary this coming Feb. (4 years) and almost 3 years from her lung surgery.  Please, please don't feel your life is ending.  You are down and out right now from a major, major surgery, and a major assualt on your psyche.  You will rebound - I promise you will.  Hang in there, Debbie, and just recover and get yourself strong again.

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  • debbiej
    debbiej Member Posts: 72
    edited December 2012

    Thanks for your post it really helps to know you are not alone even though it stinks at the same time.  No one wants to have this.  It is such a scary thing.  They have determined that my lung nodule is breast cancer, they were hoping it was not.  I am glad you are both doing so well with treatment.  I am doing pretty well with the lung thing, I am just such an active person so that part has really got me down too!  I really hate when people talk to me about it and start crying, that makes me feeling like I am dying.  I know it is hard on my family too but I have told them thay have to stay strong so I can.  My husbands tears just about kill me.  My eleven year old has the best attitude.  He is just trying to ignore it and telling me, "you'll get better mom".  He's my rock right now.  I know he doesn't fully understand but that's okay, he treats me like the same mom I have always been and that's just great.  Thanks for posting again.  It helps so so much!  Hugs, Debbie

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  • LRM216
    LRM216 Member Posts: 2,115
    edited December 2012

    You WILL get through this Debbie, I promise.  The sun will actually shine again for you.  Live through the very wise words of your 11 year old - as you will get better!  We are all here for you - any time of night or day.  God speed, Debbie - and onward and forward!

    Hugs,

    Linda

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  • pennylane
    pennylane Member Posts: 177
    edited December 2012

    So sorry this happened to you Debbie...I can only imagine your feeling of despair...Having gone thru the nightmare of diagnosis, I remember well, holding my breath and hoping for the best...I  also remember wishing for a magic pill and for me it was the anti-depressant Lexapro...In the beginning of the bc journey I too was just so utterly sad I was crying 20-times a day...When I finally decided to try an anti-depressant I had tremendous relief within the week...no more awful weeping!...Perhaps this can help you feel better too...I hope other ladies with a similar difficult journey such as yours will find your post real soon...They will be more equipped to give you tangible advice on how to proceed and get back to some of that comfort zone...Best wishes, P

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  • Fighter69
    Fighter69 Member Posts: 55
    edited December 2012

    Hi 

    I am also tripple negative with invasive ductal carcinoma grade 2-3 and you can read my posts in the December surgery section which I never got the surgery.

    Just wanted to give you some support Debbie and to let you know that you are not alone and yes it is a very discouraging sittuation but your pot of gold is at the end of that rainbow just continue to hold on . 

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  • Sjayne2u
    Sjayne2u Member Posts: 15
    edited December 2012

    Hi Debbie, I am TN also and found out shortly after initial dx That I was stage 4 with 2 spots in my liver. At first it is very hard and all you can think about is not being here. I did find a lot of comfort in reading the posts in the stage iv thread. Just because we hear stage iv doesn't mean the end for us. Hang in there, it does get easier.

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